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Why Do Reasonable People Elope? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Can U Elope Wit Ur Lover? / What Would U Do If Ur Parents Are Against Ur Partner, Elope Or Succumb? / Can You Elope With Your Lover At The Expense Of Your Career (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Smartiegurl(f): 3:17pm On Jan 27, 2013
tpacalipse: Are we saying eloping is not a good option if it is the only way their lives can be preserved? I still dey laugh! It is someone who has not seen wahala that calls himself a man, when the trouble comes no body will tell you b4 u become elopee. I have seen a man who was ready to kill his child because the child was about to marry frm a family he detested.
lolz, now this is insane!
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Nobody: 3:18pm On Jan 27, 2013
cyril83: do you believe the party planning and family disapproval are just too much pressure sometimes. One shouldn't get worried about what your family want, you have to do what you want.
What is worth doing, is what doing well. Eloping is unreasonable and has nothing positive about it!
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Pque(m): 3:26pm On Jan 27, 2013
sunny t:

Thats my point

Wel,despite d fact dat I have never felt true (dying) love 4 any lady except dat lady who was d main reason I dropped out as hostel student to become a day student when in JSS2 so I can see her on regular basis eventhough I never at anytime have d courage to tel her "I love u..." because she was older than me with 3 to 4yrs nd my senior at skool bt she was just 2 prety nd sweet. Straight model nd straight leg, medium ass nd beautiful busty brown oranges wth a big dark dot at d lower end.
I later realised dat I love her nt because I love her bt I love her because she is too sexy nd I use to see her most times with her underwears on her immediate skin. Yes I saw other ladies wth their underwear also bt none ever attracted me except dis only girl. This means dat my love 4 her was lust nd nt true love. It was simply a crave 2 satisfy myself with her bt in d end, I never had *** with her til I finish my secondary school 6yrs ago nd till today. Nevertheless, I was never in a relationship due 2 some personal reasons nd decisions.

Yeah, it is wrong 4 lovers to elope, because d said love can also b lust 4 one another or lust from d girl nd love 4rm d guy nd vice versa. If there is an equipment 2 measure love, it would have been beter because we wil know d level of our love 4 one another. D said love can just b lust. A lasting relationship requires love on both side.

Secondly, d parent's blessings nd freedom of there daughter is crucial 2 a successful relationship because dey cater 4 u from babyhood to teen nd adulthood. If their mind did nt release u, it is nt good o. U shld also put urself in dier position. Wil ur mind pray 4 dem when dey elope? How can d marraige den b peaceful. Except d parent are naturally bad nd are standing on their selfish interest, probably dat ur... lover is nt wealthy, ... I want u 2 mary so nd so etc. Den don't elope!
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Smartiegurl(f): 3:35pm On Jan 27, 2013
@Pque.....thats just the fact..
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by doeeyed: 4:24pm On Jan 27, 2013
Having followed the above posts...
I believe there has to be a definition of

1) Maturity of the parties involved
2) Validity of the reasons against the union
3) The societal slant or cultural set, they hope to be far removed from: to reduce the constraining or limiting effects
4) Timing of the event

An example:
A much older couple who face poorly qualified antagonism against their union may well deem elopement as an option, given their ages, as compared to a couple barely out of their teens who have no means of livelihood, if all mediation efforts have proven unsuccessful.


The older contributors will have memories of friends or relatives who have lost a potential good spouse on account of listening to family advice. These same pple get maligned by the same family members when there's no clear indication, they'll be leaving singlehood anytime soon, as the years go by.

Parental blessings and family cohesion is important. But what's more important is not letting those factors take precedence and priority over your innate happiness.
You only have yourself to blame, whatever the outcomes.


Overall, each case has to be judged on its own merit.

A sweeping generalized criticism or judgment depicts a lack of knowledge in these matters.... whether experiential or observational.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by princemaicheal: 5:01pm On Jan 27, 2013
jessybarbie: Reasons why Couples 'elope' may include the feeling of been completely in love and caring less about others. A relationship is about the two people involved that's why the bible said 'the man will leave his parents and be with his woman till death'
As much as it is true that marriage is about a man and a woman,it is important to note that,they did not just drop/fall from heaven.They were given birth to.They are members of there individual family.That is to say,they can not just be selfish as to think of only themselves,they should put their families into consideration.They need to understand that ther are better ways to deal with issues.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by alexwrld(m): 7:31pm On Jan 27, 2013
Smartie gurl: If everybody around you is against your love affair,then why insisting?

Now let me pose this question to this thread: Who is getting married: You or the people around you? Why don't they win your heart by standing by your decision?
Whether you are a Muslim or a Christian..Both religions insist on your happiness. Islam and Christianity both are strictly against the idea of marrying off a girl against her wish. Then tell me who is wrong?

I have seen parents forcefully marrying her daughters to the grooms they choose....Such women will never become a loyal wife. And trust me, the people who orchestrate such marriages have never fallen in love. It is pointless to take their advice either....So keep eloping...Live for love; Live for truth cheesy

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Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Smartiegurl(f): 7:54pm On Jan 27, 2013
alexwrld:


Now let me pose this question to this thread: Who is getting married: You or the people around you? Why don't they win your heart by standing by your decision?
Whether you are a Muslim or a Christian..Both religions insist on your happiness. Islam and Christianity both are strictly against the idea of marrying off a girl against her wish. Then tell me who is wrong?

I have seen parents forcefully marrying her daughters to the grooms they choose....Such women will never become a loyal wife. And trust me, the people who orchestrate such marriages have never fallen in love. It is pointless to take their advice either....So keep eloping...Live for love; Live for truth cheesy

and you will live happily ever after? My gosh......to me is better you dnt elope at all, if you love the being why eloping? Manup/Womanup to posses your possession than running away. Are you gonna run 4eva? Guez no.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by meamanda(f): 8:27pm On Jan 27, 2013
Well said smiley

Loser will keep coming up with end number of excuses! Hail Love grin

alexwrld:


Now let me pose this question to this thread: Who is getting married: You or the people around you? Why don't they win your heart by standing by your decision?
Whether you are a Muslim or a Christian..Both religions insist on your happiness. Islam and Christianity both are strictly against the idea of marrying off a girl against her wish. Then tell me who is wrong?

I have seen parents forcefully marrying her daughters to the grooms they choose....Such women will never become a loyal wife. And trust me, the people who orchestrate such marriages have never fallen in love. It is pointless to take their advice either....So keep eloping...Live for love; Live for truth cheesy

Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by meamanda(f): 8:30pm On Jan 27, 2013
Love is not meant for cowards...they just pretend to fall in love..have sex and move on...And such people shamelessly call themselves 'a practical'

Shame..Shame!!

Smartie gurl: and you will live happily ever after? My gosh......to me is better you dnt elope at all, if you love the being why eloping? Manup/Womanup to posses your possession than running away. Are you gonna run 4eva? Guez no.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by eagleeye2: 10:06pm On Jan 27, 2013
meamanda: Love is not meant for cowards...they just pretend to fall in love..have sex and move on...And such people shamelessly call themselves 'a practical'

Shame..Shame!!


Thank God some people are getting the point. Love is an action word and not a passive word. When you Love, you will fight any obstacle that tries to stand in the way of your love.
Like I said before, Eloping may not be the word. But moving out of prying eyes and people who meddle in your affairs.

It is better to Love and fail, than to never have Loved at all.

@meamanda, I concur, Love is not for cowards.

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Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by alexwrld(m): 10:18pm On Jan 27, 2013
Six and a half years ago, I did elope smiley
You click on my profile link and see the pic..He's my son who, according to doctors, is a child prodigy....I also have a daughter who is just a year and a half....They couldn't have existed if we hadn't eloped. If God worries about the truth and compassion, he'll be definitely worried about the innocent souls who love and want to stay together.

I must admit we put our life in danger by eloping and had to hide for some months..but the pains were worth our beautiful life.

PS: I did not mean to be offensive. God Bless cheesy


Smartie gurl: and you will live happily ever after? My gosh......to me is better you dnt elope at all, if you love the being why eloping? Manup/Womanup to posses your possession than running away. Are you gonna run 4eva? Guez no.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by alexwrld(m): 10:24pm On Jan 27, 2013
Very well said cheesy

I have suffered the pain and embarrassment of the events that took place after my wife and I eloped. But there was no other way.....we'd have been killed in broad day light. cry

eagle,eye:


Thank God some people are getting the point. Love is an action word and not a passive word. When you Love, you will fight any obstacle that tries to stand in the way of your love.
Like I said before, Eloping may not be the word. But moving out of prying eyes and people who meddle in your affairs.

It is better to Love and fail, than to never have Loved at all.

@meamanda, I concur, Love is not for cowards.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by doeeyed: 11:49pm On Jan 27, 2013
alexwrld: Very well said cheesy

I have suffered the pain and embarrassment of the events that took place after my wife and I eloped. But there was no other way.....we'd have been killed in broad day light. cry


Congrats Alex.
U took that decision then based on the need to preserve your lives
and those unborn at the time.

I'm glad its worked out well for you.


There's a basic misunderstanding of the reasoning behind elopement..... and there are varying degrees of "elopement".

Issues reflect differently depending on cultural, environmental or generational influences and response will differ, given the specific situation.

For those who allude to the ever important role of parents or forebears, are we to say that parents or elders are completely error-free. Haven't we observed scenarios whereby parents, many years later, apologize for their ill advice due to misconceptions at the said time.

There should be a wholesome discussion with mediation in place, and that takes a lot of maturity and conviction in the one you love. This should singularly sieve away malingerers and infatuated enfants.

But if reasonable avenues fail, elopement may be an option. Despite that avenue being used, lines of communication should be kept open, to ensure ongoing discussion.


Life is too sweet for all this wahala.
So each case should be judged on its own merits.

God be with us all.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by kandiikane(m): 3:59am On Jan 28, 2013
sunny t:

I’ve also been wondering why people elope when everyone is against their union, but I see it as a sign of not being thoughtful and loving with the heart.( There is diff btw loving with the heart and loving with the head,) I know most young people can do it so let me explain b4 u buried me.

Most (not all) lovers who eloped had come to regret their actions, I’ve seen many like that and there is something about love, it ends in regret (not all times)

Matured people, come let’s reason together, I’m referring to people who had been in like 10 different relationships. Have you observed that when you started dating someone (like your 1st or 2nd guy/gal), the feelings was so strong at 1st but after sometime the love start dwindling away, u might have seen it over and over again. What if you eloped with the person? Where are your 1st three boy/girl friends?

For a starter, eloping wouldn’t be a surprise (e neva get experience, e no know anything), but I will be surprised if a matured person do it. Why not do everything to prove to your people that you believe this person is the best for you? Why not reason out things with them? Couldn’t they have seen what you didn’t? The madness is, when you have problem or need help, you will still come back to these same people, your parent which you disobeyed, disrespected, rejected.




Being in 10 or more relationships means you're mature? No, hun, just shows how immature the person is. The relationships probably last 2months because they don't have any patience to sit, learn, understand, love, care etc. No wonder you're hopping from one relationship to the next, you do not understand the essence of it and it means you should wait until you're matured enough to fully understand one. Whether you eloped or not, that strong love feeling you get at the beginning will slowly diminish, does that mean they are wrong to elope? Because the butterflies have stopped fluttering? No wonder you are mentioning 10 relationships. Whether you try to prove to your family that your partner is good for you or not if they don't like him, they will never like him.

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Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by tpia5: 4:41am On Jan 28, 2013
elope in haste, repent at leisure, especially in nigeria.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by doeeyed: 6:50am On Jan 28, 2013
Guys n Gals,
Some CRITICAL reasoning is needed here,
Not only personal preferences or allusions, which are sometimes shortsighted.
This is an educational forum not just for "laughs"


The thread read...... why do reasonable people elope

It's a question seeking reasons behind an action deemed a societal taboo carried out by people deemed "reasonable"?

Let's offer reasons n solutions not biased judgments.

Thanks.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Smartiegurl(f): 11:00am On Jan 28, 2013
doe-eyed:

Guys n Gals,
Some CRITICAL reasoning is needed here,
Not only personal preferences or allusions, which are sometimes shortsighted.
This is an educational forum not just for "laughs"


The thread read...... why do reasonable people elope

It's a question seeking reasons behind an action deemed a societal taboo carried out by people deemed "reasonable"?

Let's offer reasons n solutions not biased judgments.

Thanks.
Thanks, thats my question, buh only just few people hav given me a considerable answer.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by SweetLola: 12:16pm On Jan 28, 2013
I and my husband eloped ..not because anyone was against our marriage ...in fact they were supportive ...but we just felt a sense of urgency about being married that we knew no one else would understand

SO we bought tickets to Vegas and got married . A year later our families did all the traditional stuff and we did our church wedding and no one was any wiser ...they celebrate our anniversary for us on one date and we celebrate for ourselves on another LOL ...we still haven't told them

Live for yourselves and not for others
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by eagleeye2: 12:37pm On Jan 28, 2013
[quote author=SweetLola

Live for yourselves and not for others [/quote]

@op, in this sentence lies your answer.

Reasonable as you call them, know that they are RESPONSIBLE for their actions or inactions.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by tpia5: 3:26pm On Jan 28, 2013
The eloping being discussed on the thread is in the context of the family being against the relationship.


If they're not, then it just means you had a quick wedding.
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Nobody: 4:00pm On Jan 28, 2013
This is a thread that struck a chord in my heart. I feel if the couple are matured enough,then they can elope.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Smartiegurl(f): 4:14pm On Jan 28, 2013
iyabde: This is a thread that struck a chord in my heart. I feel if the couple are matured enough,then they can elope.
Personally I kind of eloped,my husband's family never liked me,for reasons beyond me,so we both looked to God and he saw our hearts.
We just went to the registry and did our thing. 3 yrs on we r still together(totalling 6 yrs together).
Of course we hv our issues ,his people still won't talk to me (sad) but hey! I hv the love of my life...we are happy and going stronger in Christ.
*short of words* Well am the type of being that always want at least 70% of people around me to be happy with me nd wat who eva am with. In ur case, what can i say, seems you are happy. Buh please do you guys travel home?
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by segun688: 5:17pm On Jan 28, 2013
[quote author=iyabde]This is a thread that struck a chord in my heart. I feel if the couple are matured enough,then they can elope.
Personally I kind of eloped,my husband's family never liked me,for reasons beyond me,so we both looked to God and he saw our hearts.
We just went to the registry and did our thing. 3 yrs on we r still together(totalling 6 yrs together).
Of course we hv our issues ,his people still won't talk to me (sad) but hey! I hv the love of my life...we are happy and going stronger in Christ.[/quote]



wow that was a bold step,albeit a worthwhile one. May God continue to bless your union, someday, i believe your husband's family will come round, at the end of the day, what matters is the couple's happiness. cheers!
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Nobody: 1:22pm On Feb 06, 2013
what do you mean by "reasonable pple"?
Re: Why Do Reasonable People Elope? by Smartiegurl(f): 8:14am On Nov 27, 2013
Aggrippa: what do you mean by "reasonable pple"?
seriously? Are u kidding me?



Wow! This thread is dead. I loved it, seems to be ma best thread.

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