Don't be a killjoy. Good work though

Next day was a sunday, the last sunday in camp. I thanked God for the good things he had done for me, i also asked Him to make my posting to be in a city in the State not village. "where u go like make dem post you go?" i asked Ayo as we walked to the room from church. "Flow anywhere oh, i go manage am, but i no want village oh" he said. "guy i go like make dem post us go d same place oh" i added. "abi oh, make we run tins together na" he said

Dat day it rained heavily, as we remained indoors. I stayed tranquil in my bed replaying what happened last nite. "why those soldiers no allow me, enter the place before them pursue us na" "which kin bad belle soldiers them be sef" all this was what clowded my brain when Shukur said "Flow dis evening na final and we go beat una today". "una no fit na, when i dey back" i said. We were to play the final match with platoon 1 that evening.

It was 4pm and match was to start by 5pm. I glanced at my rolex wrist watch wanting the time go move backwards because i was scared of the deadly striker SHAKUR.

Shakur was so far the highest goal scorer with five goals to his credit. Why Shakur scared me was not only because he was good at scoring but because he was a good dribbler. "make dis Shakur boy no go disgrace me oh" i said to myself owing to the fact that he would operate from my side of the field.

Soon the match started, i warned Dogo to always return back after he sends the ball in. I also told him how deadly Shakur was and dat this match was not like the previous match we played 2days ago with platoon 9 that was very easy to win.

My Guy Ayo was upfront as usually. Ayo made an attempt that made the crowd cheered, he made yet another attempt that hite the bar. Shukur was running speedily to my direction as something entered my eyes, i wasn't seeing clearly. "Dogo go mack am oh, sand don enter my eyes ooh" i shouted. I cleared d sand off my eyes in time to see how Shakur gave Dogo the dribble of his life and scored........... GOAL...... The crowd cheered........

"thank God for that sand oh, so na so Shakur for dribble me abi" i tot as i gave a long pass to Ayo who passed back to a mid-fielder. Shakur came again with the ball to my direction, dis time i was determined to mack him down, he swayed the ball pass one of our mid-fielder, as he came closer to me i didn't know his intentions until he fired a short that came to my direction like a bullet from a gun............ Gbam, the ball saw no other place to hite but my p*enis.............."yekpa my blok*us don burst oh" i tot as i immediate fell like an "iroko tree". My head hite the floor as my eyes failed me instantly............"Flow u don blind b dat oh", my spirit said dat to my body, "na ur papa go blind" my body responded without my mouth moving..........

The first thing i saw as i returned to planet earth from the "spirit world" was the gap in Lampard's teeth as he smiled at me in the medical room, where i was lying helplessly. "Lampard na who win?" i asked curiously. "oboy dem don win una ni" he said as i cursed myself for not playing till the end of the game.

I got to the room dat nite and i was told Ayo was at mammy market, i took my bath and joined him. After we finished drinking four bottles each we went straight to the bush to join Ezenna and Obinna to smoke weed. "aro how far?" i said our baggas slang "aro" as i anchored dem both. "aro, rugged u?" Obinna responded. I smoked life chimney that nite as i wondered how Ezenna and Obinna got the weed we smoked that nite since their weed was collected by the soldier the other day. They told me they bought it from a guy in mammy, which i never believed............

As we walked to the room i could feel my stomach run. It was as if i wanted to throw up. "how only four bottles of stout go make me wan vomit na?" i asked myself as we entered the room. I got in after i mistook Ayo's bed as mine and slept on it, Ayo on the other hand slept on mine. I was almost aslept when suddenly the feeling of wanting to throw up came again, this time harder and............. Uhn uhun ugbun ouhn....... "Flow eeeh u don vomit for my bed" Ayo shouted at the top of his voice.......

foxy i know ur viewing dis page,y dnt u complete that Niger Delta story na?

flow1759: The first thing i saw as i returned to planet earth from the "spirit world" was the gap in Lampard's teeth as he smiled at me in the medical room, where i was lying helplessly. "Lampard na who win?" i asked curiously. "oboy dem don win una ni" he said as i cursed myself for not playing till the end of the game.

I got to the room dat nite and i was told Ayo was at mammy market, i took my bath and joined him. After we finished drinking four bottles each we went straight to the bush to join Ezenna and Obinna to smoke weed. "aro how far?" i said our baggas slang "aro" as i anchored dem both. "aro, rugged u?" Obinna responded. I smoked life chimney that nite as i wondered how Ezenna and Obinna got the weed we smoked that nite since their weed was collected by the soldier the other day. They told me they bought it from a guy in mammy, which i never believed............

As we walked to the room i could feel my stomach run. It was as if i wanted to throw up. "how only four bottles of stout go make me wan vomit na?" i asked myself as we entered the room. I got in after i mistook Ayo's bed as mine and slept on it, Ayo on the other hand slept on mine. I was almost aslept when suddenly the feeling of wanting to throw up came again, this time harder and............. Uhn uhun ugbun ouhn....... "Flow eeeh u don vomit for my bed" Ayo shouted at the top of his voice.......

I always feel street credibility in ur writing and that is what make glued to it.....cos I b cofirm kpako. Boy and like make persn dey reP,,,flow,fanta...U REP joh,,,join me here,,henry moore and snuff....

Mehn dis ur story dey totori me ooh,keep it hot.

Flow,why u no tell us say u don start ds story here,d last time i checked,u were asking us if u sud post it here or nysc place..

Damex333: Flow,why u no tell us say u don start ds story here,d last time i checked,u were asking us if u sud post it here or nysc place..

damex no vex, i c say nysc section dey boring nahim make me bring am here

Last day in camp, all corpers where set to leave the camp, carrying their bags, but it was as if i wasn't set to leave. "mehn i go miss this camp oh, i go miss mammy oh" i tot as i walked with Ayo to the field where the passing out parade was to take place. The parade began amidst cheer from different directions. I and Ayo watched the march pass keenly as Ayo showed me Chioma, who was leading her platoon in the march pass. We were siping Alomo as a feeling of euphoria clouded my mind. Soon the Governor addressed the crowd saying, we should try to accept wherever we were posted to as our "destiny" for the next one year. "destiny wetin, no be persin wey dem post go better place", "if dem post u go village na to die go be ur destiny na" i tot as we dismissed to go collect our posting letter. As i in time located where my code number fell, i could feel the Alomo i drank wanting to tear my head to pieces. I collected my posting letter and this was what i saw: posted to Grace international school in Ilesa west LGA. Immediately i asked a radom guy passing "Ilesa na for village e dey?" "i no know oh" he answered. That was the begining of my misery.

"Oshogbo, Oshogbo", "Ife north", "Ife south", "Iwo, Iwo", "Atakumosa east", the bus drivers were chanting the places there were to carry corpers to "oga abeg where Ilesa West bus?" i asked "ilesa west bus, see am there" he pointed at a rickety bus by the corner.

I and Ayo met again when we went to carry our bags at "Baba Imo" food joint in mammy, where we kept our bags. "Ayo where dem post u go?" i curiously asked "na Oshogbo oh, ministry of Agriculture oh" he said. I asked Ayo if Ilesa was a city or village, he said it was a mini-city, and that it was closer to Oshogbo.

I got to where the rickety bus was as i checked my wallet to know how much i was left with, what i saw almost made me cry. "na only 2500 dey my hand oh, if d transport money com pass 2500 nkor" "i don jonz myself go spend all d alawi wey i collect oh" "how i go take chop for where i dey go?" "if no house nkor, how i go take rent hotel" all these clouded my little brain as the bus zoomed off.......

"driver na how much be d money" i asked from behind. The driver smiled and said "na free oh". I was surprised as well as some corpers too. "where we go stay sef?" another corper asked "na for church" the driver answered as he explained that Winner chapel church would take care of us till we finished our clearance in the local government. "thank God oh" i said to myself as my mind was calm enough to notice this beautiful damsel seating just by my side.............

Chioma don commot 4 show,na d beautiful damsel e remain. Oya carry go.

Tovot: foxy i know ur viewing dis page,y dnt u complete that Niger Delta story na?

Ehm.... I dey work on am

As the bus moved on i was thinking of a way to start up a conversation with this black princess. "Am Flow, am a citizen of Italy, and u are? i said smiling and revealing my beautiful set of teeth. she laughed and said "Mr Flow from Italy, What are you doing in Nigeria as a corper when you should be in Italy?", staring and smiling back at me. " i don catch this one oh", i said to myself. we were involved in an healthy chat as she later told me her name was Juliet. she also told me where she was posted to as we shared our camp experiences, she told me she schooled in the east and that she studied Economics.

sharp guy

As we continued in the rather long Journey, i suddenly felt air coming out of my an*us silently. "make dis mess no smell oh" i said to myself "even if e smell sef nobody go know say na me mess am na" i assured myself, the f*art was smelling as if a rat died in the bus. "oboy dis mess go put me for wahala oh" i said to myself as i noticed Juliet looking at my direction. "abi dis girl don know say na me mess?" i asked myself as a boy in front said "e no go better for d person way mess dis mess" "na ur papa e no go beta for" i responded in my mind. "uhun uhun uhun" was d noise around "uhun uhun uhun" i joined them so as not to arose suspicion. All the windows were open but d smell still form a cloud in the bus. "My belle don spoil don spoil oh" "but wetin i chop na" "ok na that boiled egg wey me and Ayo chop for mammy dis morning" "but how e take spoil my belle na, and na only 3 in chop oh" all these were wat i tot as the odour subsided..............

Why u no ansa d boy wit words,why u ansa 4 ur mind, dem 4 throw u out of d bus, and one tin i lyk abt u is dt u follow ur name 'flow' u flow d story wella

Excess laughter...flow you too much
but you for at least pity juliet na

We got to Winners Chapel Ilesa at about 6pm. The church ministers welcomed us and took us to a "boys quaters" behind the church after assuring us that we would be taken care of, and that anything we needed we should ask. "Ask ehn, what of if i need weed, i go ask" i tot. "but Flow oh, u gat to behave urself oh, here na church oh" i told myself. I noticed Juliet was the only girl amongst us, so she was given a seperate roon while the rest of us, 10 in number shared two rooms. They was church service that nite, as i slept all through as the preacher preached. We got to our room by 9pm. After we ate, Juliet told me that she could not sleep in that her scary room alone. "see wahala oh" "wetin dis girl want make i do na" "if i go follow am sleep, pastors fit see me com pursue me comot for church oh" "if dem pursue me, where i go stay, wetin i go chop" all this tots fill my brain. So i went along with Juliet to tell the pastor that Juliet was scared of her room. The pastor told me to sleep in the same room with her as by so doing Juliet would fight her fears, he offered me a foam. "see me se wahala, pastor wan put me for trouble oh" "Flow if u try rubbish with Juliet for nite, u don enter hot soup oh" "why me na, why me" i tot. I promised myself not to try anything funny, promise that my d*ick also promised..............

Flow, I dey feel you but your flow dey inconsistent these days ooo

Make we flow de go

Foxy_Rebirth: Flow, I dey feel you but your flow dey inconsistent these days ooo

foxy no vex abeg, dem no gree give us lite oh

D pastor self na mumu.

Flow why you know flow with PHCN guys make dem give you light. I dey gbadun u the way u dey enjoy your weed

Nice write up!

I slept that nite with my foam far away from where Juliet's foam was, in order to prevent the "unwanted" to occur. "but this pastor no try oh" i said to myself as i remembered him saying that we should know that we are in the house of God and that i should take Juliet as my sister, "she no be my sister na" i said to myself again.

Dat nite was the longest nite i have ever experienced as i tot i saw something lying close to me, "abi na Juliet, but i no wan do na" i said to myself, i turned and lo and behold it was my pillow lying right beside me, "thank God oh, thank God because even if Juliet want make we do this thing, boys wey dey the other room go hear the noise because everywhere dey quite" i said in my mind.

Soon it was morning and we were set to our place of primary assignment to report for duty. "good morning sir" i said as i entered the office of this old and unkept principal, "good morning corper" he said, "sir, i was posted here to serve" i said as he offered me a seat. He later told me that two corpers had been to his office already, a boy and a girl. He said so many things, but one thing he said that i wouldn't forget was that i would be teaching SS3 physics and chemistry. "physics no be my problem, but chemistry nahim wahala dey oh, me wey i hate chemistry" i said to myself, as i walked out of the office i saw two familiar faces standing at the door wanting to enter the office, it was Sammy and Kelvin, two guys that stays in the same Winners logde with me, "so na here be una PPA" i asked, "na here oh" Sammy responded. As i walked out of the school i couldn't help but notice that the school buildings were very old and unpainted. "What is Grace about this Grace international school sef?" i asked myself when suddenly my phone rang.............

It was Juliet, she wanted me to come meet her at the Nysc secretarait for us to do our clearance together. I was with her in no time as we finished first stage of our clearance, second stage was to head to the bank to open an account, meanwhile i checked my wallet to notice that the 2500 was cuting down gradually.

We were in the bank soon after i had paid for the transport fare. We finished with the account opening rather late and we headed back to the secretariat, and i paid for the transport fare again. "dis girl no go kill me oh, c 2500 wey i hold don turn 2000 oh" i said in my mind.

We finished our clearance at the secretariat. As we walked to where we would pick a bike, all of a sudden Juliet said "Flow buy me ice cream na" "see me see wahala, i dey talk say i don spend too much, u dey say u want ice cream" "shey u no know say i go travel go my papa house" "abi i resemble ur papa" all these was wat i tot as i paid the ice cream man.

We got home ate and the pastor told us to come upstairs for yet another church service. As we prepared for church, Juliet told me to come with her briefly to go buy a pair of shoes she saw at a boutique earlier. "i don die be that oh, so na dis 1800 wey dey with me nahim dis girl want make i use buy shoe for am" i said to myself as i walked faintly with her to the boutique. "if we reach there and she say make i pay, i go tell her say i no get money" i concluded. We got there, she bought the shoes and as she paid i noticed she had plenty money in her purse, like up to 20k. "so dis girl get dis kin money come dey allow me spend since abi" "dis Anambra babe wan run me dry oh" i said to myself as we walked to join the service. Immediately we entered the preacher quoted a Bible verse, Matthew 25:29 and it says; "To him that haveth, more shall be given and he shall have in abundant, but him that haveth not, shall be taken away from him even that which he have". With that verse it seems as if the preacher knew what i had gone through with the Anambra babe Juliet..............

Next day i was outside with Sammy and Kelvin, we were discussing how we would later go to the school to go tell the principal to provide us with a house and other things he is responsible to provide. "nna ka ndì a nye anyi èzigbote uló eh" i spoke ibo to Sammy who is an ibo boy from Enugu, "ha kwésíri nye anyi èzigbote uló nu" he responded as we walked into the school. The school was noisy as students walked to their classes after the morning assembly. "Awòn corper" i heard one of the students say. "Kelvin wetin dem say u go dey teach na?" i asked "na Commerce SS3 oh" he answered, "Sammy what of u?" i asked again, "nna na Account SS2 oh" he answered, as we entered the pricipal's office we met four other corpers there making us seven in number.

"alright since all seven of u are here, i want to let you know that we have only five rooms available in the school's corpers Lodge, just down the street" the principal said "me i go like stay for the lodge oh" i said within myself when he now added "okay since we have two ladies here, we will have to rent a house somewhere else for both of them while the rest of you occupy the five rooms". Immeditely the mentioned that i caught a glimpse of this Black beauty that was one of the girls, "so, fine girls no dey finish for this world?" i asked myself that rather rheotorical question..........

Flow, you never hear say the beautiful ones are not yet born

We were taken to see the room, after each of us collected a foam from the school. I noticed that all the rooms were small, except the one at the extreme which was the one i selected. With everthing set we got to know each other better. Sammy a fair Ibo boy, Kelvin a chubby TIV boy from benue, Niyi a.k.a Baba Ilorin or Ilorin for short, Victor a TIV boy that prefered we called him "Angom" which means "brother" in his dialet and of course my humble self Flow; the bad barrack boy(BBB).

"so we fit travel go our papa house now abi?" i asked nobody in particular as Angom answered "me dey travel go benue tomorow oh, i no know for una oh". "we fit travel na, because we don do every thing wey dey required" Sammy added. As we continued gisting, kelvin and Ilorin was inspecting the toilet facilities when Ilorin shouted "oboy na pit toilet we go dey use oh", on hearing that my jaw droped, my jaw droped even more when Angom brought a paper that looked like rit*zler, i looked from the corner of my eyes to see him bring out something that surprised me more. "so you dey weed?" i queried "yes na, u no know say i b confirm benue pekin?" he responded and smiled revealing his cute dimple. Soon Ilorin and Kelvin came and Ilorin said "mehn see ITUARA oh", "Wetin b ituara na" Angom asked "nahim b dis tin wey u hold na, na d yoruba name na?" Ilorin responded. "so weed get Yoruba name?" i asked myself as Angom offered me and Ilorin the weed to ki*ss. "Kelvin and sammy, una no dey weed?" i asked what was obvious. "i hate that thing" Sammy cursed. "Hate ehn, na my first time to c pesin say e hate weed oh" i said. "well like d saying goes; one man's meat is another man's poison" i tot............

flow1759: We were taken to see the room, after each of us collected a foam from the school. I noticed that all the rooms were small, except the one at the extreme which was the one i selected. With everthing set we got to know each other better. Sammy a fair Ibo boy, Kelvin a chubby TIV boy from benue, Niyi a.k.a Baba Ilorin or Ilorin for short, Victor a TIV boy that prefered we called him "Angom" which means "brother" in his dialet and of course my humble self Flow; the bad barrack boy(BBB).

"so we fit travel go our papa house now abi?" i asked nobody in particular as Angom answered "me dey travel go benue tomorow oh, i no know for una oh". "we fit travel na, because we don do every thing wey dey required" Sammy added. As we continued gisting, kelvin and Ilorin was inspecting the toilet facilities when Ilorin shouted "oboy na pit toilet we go dey use oh", on hearing that my jaw droped, my jaw droped even more when Angom brought a paper that looked like rit*zler, i looked from the corner of my eyes to see him bring out something that surprised me more. "so you dey weed?" i queried "yes na, u no know say i b confirm benue pekin?" he responded and smiled revealing his cute dimple. Soon Ilorin and Kelvin came and Ilorin said "mehn see ITUARA oh", "Wetin b ituara na" Angom asked "nahim b dis tin wey u hold na, na d yoruba name na?" Ilorin responded. "so weed get Yoruba name?" i asked myself as Angom offered me and Ilorin the weed to ki*ss. "Kelvin and sammy, una no dey weed?" i asked what was obvious. "i hate that thing" Sammy cursed. "Hate ehn, na my first time to c pesin say e hate weed oh" i said. "well like d saying goes; one man's meat is another man's poison" i tot............

Weed good for body when consume moderately,,,,fanta bbb........oya I 1 hear hwen u blepp da corper now....

Hahahaha.........Na So, One Mans Meat Fit Be Another Man Poison.

skoloppy31:
Weed good for body when consume moderately,,,,fanta bbb........oya I 1 hear hwen u blepp da corper now....

skoloppy wait na story still plenty, u go laf tayah

We got to the church that evening to pack our bags and properties to our new house. We told the pastor that we were through with all the clearance and that we would leave to our various homes the next day, because the schools would soon vacate for the christmas break, so we were to return by january. The pastor gave us 1k each and told us to come worship with them every sunday when we return by january.

"this church try for us oh, dem house us, feed us, now them give all of us 1k", "how i no go worship with una, wen na una make me fit buy tins for my people for house, wit d 1k una give me" i tot as i journeyed back home.

During the christmas break i tried to gather enough money to buy properties when i get back to Ilesa. I worked in the farm seriously during the holidays as i made money from selling farm produce like vegetable. This is one reason i like the barracks; u can make fast money if u can work hard.


As i was on the bus on my way to Ilesa i was comparing in my mind's eyes between Chioma and Juliet which was a picture perfect dream girl for me. Chioma is a paragon of beauty, well endowed with "Manchester united" but she lacked "Arsenal". Juliet on the other hand has "Arsenal" but lacked "Manchester united", Just then, my mind's eyes saw Lola; the corper in my school, she is endowed with both "Manchester" and "Arsenal" or i would rather say "Bothon wanderers"..........

Weldone.