Hello nairalanders... I'm getting married in 3mnths...d issue I have is wen I was dating ma hubby, anytym I go to c him in his place nd meets his younger bro who cums very once in a while, he calls me aunty Busola (I mean d younger bro nao) and av been calling him by his name cos am like 3yrs older dan him nd most times, he does his own part of d house chores while I don mine...buh I noticed dat immediately we got serious nd started preparing for d weddin, he started callin me by name whc am so home with...I even prefer it. Cos it allows for a beta rapour....nao d ishu is my hubby, he doesn't like d fact dat he kals me by name...nd he says am d cause...dat I shd b callin him brother...its jst so absurd...sumone av cald by name for like 4yrs...I told him am not complainin...buh he's rily makin it a big deal....advise pls nd CONSTRUCTIVE critisisms

I'm not interested in ur family problems.
Truth be told, in yorubaland, there are norms. And u jes decided to ignore dt.
Let's face it and stop being a hypocrite hidind under d guise of civilization. If we really av to do dt, let's be complete abt it and stop takin d one which strokes our ego.
For example, im d modern world, u dnt need ur parents to bless ur weddin, go ahead wit wot u wanted. But here, it scares us if they dnt, but wen u dnt wanna do smtn, u say d world is going civic.
Now, to ur point, see, it aint necessary to call him brother if u both undstnd dt.
Like ppl say, respect is reciprocal.
BTW, if it doesnt bother u, why come here?

Una nor dey tire for this broda and anty matter sef ,If I mention tribe una go ban me......hypocrites

KINGwax: I'm not interested in ur family problems.
Truth be told, in yorubaland, there are norms. And u jes decided to ignore dt.
Let's face it and stop being a hypocrite hidind under d guise of civilization. If we really av to do dt, let's be complete abt it and stop takin d one which strokes our ego.
For example, im d modern world, u dnt need ur parents to bless ur weddin, go ahead wit wot u wanted. But here, it scares us if they dnt, but wen u dnt wanna do smtn, u say d world is going civic.
Now, to ur point, see, it aint necessary to call him brother if u both undstnd dt.
Like ppl say, respect is reciprocal.
BTW, if it doesnt bother u, why come here?

nxt tym u want to comment on a thread...tink it tru. I guess nairaland is an avenue to seek advice frm mayb few reasonable people...its not botherin me mister, my hubby has an issue with it ni...nd u didn't av to reply, u cud av ignored...I'm clear huh?

Well ur hubby shud stop being a boy by making a mountain out of a mole hill. Communicate and drive it home into his skull that its not a big deal.unless he wants rancour in the family,he shudn't be heady abt this.

since your hubby is not cool with the new development, he is in a position to address the issue, let him call his brother into order.

Calling people aunty and brother (boda) is just a respect thing. Tell your hubby how you feel about it & why and hear what he has to say. He might have good reasons for asking you to do this. You can still create good rapport with his brother even if you call each other aunty and brother, but you should do whatever you're comfortable with.

Tanx guys...nice comments...God bless y'al

KINGwax: I'm not interested in ur family problems.
Truth be told, in yorubaland, there are norms. And u jes decided to ignore dt.
Let's face it and stop being a hypocrite hidind under d guise of civilization. If we really av to do dt, let's be complete abt it and stop takin d one which strokes our ego.
For example, im d modern world, u dnt need ur parents to bless ur weddin, go ahead wit wot u wanted. But here, it scares us if they dnt, but wen u dnt wanna do smtn, u say d world is going civic.
Now, to ur point, see, it aint necessary to call him brother if u both undstnd dt.
Like ppl say, respect is reciprocal.
BTW, if it doesnt bother u, why come here?

Dear Busola, I am sure you are not marrying yourself but your guy, therefore, you are not the issue here but your guy. He doesnt like it simple; stop it simple. Calling by alias or Initial like if he is Ayo-AY, or uncle something will not kill u, reduce your age or societal value. This is one of the little marital politics that ladies should understand. Let me give you an example, I was a classmate to my elder brother's wife, in fact we were friends in secondary school. The story changed immediately I knew her as my sis in-law. She started calling me brother ( a sign of respect to us though it is not in reality), I was still calling her by her first name. But later, I couldn't because I became obliged indirectly to respect my elder brother's wife.

You have to understand marriage more, especially now that you are close to wedding. Marriage is more of your patner than yours and vice versa, so if he doesn't like it, then stop it.

In yoruba land, you don't call your husband's brothers by name even if you're older than them. it's a rule and they in turn won't call you by name.

Your hubby-to-be must be Yoruba i believe, unless i am wrong. if not correct me.

my aunty, pls dnt kill ursef because of ordinary 'brother'... pls... it wont cost u anything; NOTHING. dat 3yrs is nothing. I knw u're educated, beautiful and blah blah blah. jst obey simple RULE. And dnt expect him to even call u aunty. My uncle's wife calls me aunty even though she's atleast 9yrs older than me. Happy Married Life...

OP, call this your prospective BIL and speak to him on the issue. Let him know that you do not mind him calling you by name and you are not too cool about calling him broda. In fact, agree with him to only use the tittle for each other in the presence of your other in-laws. Otherwise, you will hear the kind lash that will put you to tears once you get married and continue to call him by name,especially from MIL& other ILs. Although to cut the chase here, why don't you look for a nick-name for him? He will enjoy that better than broda and his folks won't know the difference.

You're yoruba now,so what's the big deal.Stop acting like it's a big deal.If u really don't like d broda then modify to something like Mr T etc.
Your husband wants it that way so why don't u want to work with your hubby.

Tanx everyone...I tink I get d point nao...anoda tin is, ma hubby kals me elder sis by name...nd she doesn't even care...infact wen my mum tried raisin d ishu, ma sis told er she doesn't even worth...FYI ma sis is not married...so wat ya fink bou dat too?? Cos by custom n culture...she shdnt b called er name by my hubby even tho he's older

@ op i believe u and/or ur hubby to be is/are a yoruba or whichever a nigerian.my point : we are a people with CULTURE and this shd reflect in us.pls play along with ur guy to keep a family/culture.its not a big thing in as much as we use a SIR/MA for our boss irrespective of their age.its issues relating to this that has brought this much societal vices coz we forget or overlook our cultural values.am not castigating u

busolayemi: Tanx everyone...I tink I get d point nao...anoda tin is, ma hubby kals me elder sis by name...nd she doesn't even care...infact wen my mum tried raisin d ishu, ma sis told er she doesn't even worth...FYI ma sis is not married...so wat ya fink bou dat too?? Cos by custom n culture...she shdnt b called er name by my hubby even tho he's older

Traditionally,d woman is the one who marries into a man's family.Ur hubby does not av 2 call ur elder sis, aunty/sister by tradition except she is much older than ur hubby.

I do not get the part where your refusal to call your brother-in-law (whom you are older than) brother being a direct result of him calling you by your name.

I understand the fact that you both are close, but hubby ain't cool with that-maybe he sees it as being outrightly disrespectful of his kid bro calling his wife by her name, good thing he told you first about it, so let him engage his brother instead.

busolayemi: nxt tym u want to comment on a thread...tink it tru. I guess nairaland is an avenue to seek advice frm mayb few reasonable people...its not botherin me mister, my hubby has an issue with it ni...nd u didn't av to reply, u cud av ignored...I'm clear huh?

typical ashana. I think now, i undstnd. U mst av bilivd u're reasonable here, ugh?
It aint botherin u, yet u're lookin for answers.

KINGwax: typical ashana. I think now, i undstnd. U mst av bilivd u're reasonable here, ugh?
It aint botherin u, yet u're lookin for answers.

na wa for ppl o....u sha ad to say sumtin abi I get u joor...tanx for d comment, nxt person pls

busolayemi: na wa for ppl o....u sha ad to say sumtin abi I get u joor...tanx for d comment, nxt person pls