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Back Stabbing In Companies-why Are Some People So Fake? - Career - Nairaland

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Back Stabbing In Companies-why Are Some People So Fake? by Obalende: 9:08am On Mar 08, 2008
I would like to call the attention of everyone to an incident that has just happened in my Company that has scared me to my bones. I need advise as I have been considering exit from UK for a while now anyway (but THIS INCIDENT IS NOT THE MAIN REASON - just a reinforcer - the main reasons are just personal preference, etc). I am working in UK - just a few months old in my company. when I joined, I had an Indian coworker. I worked in his team and as far as I know he was quite hard working. However, due to certain problems he had to leave the Company and left not too long ago. Before he left, the Deputy Head of Department (caucasoid british) would smile at Him (i.e. the indian dude), say things like "good good", or "excellent work!" and generally 'pretend' (at least from my observations) to be cool with the poor dude. Any person would think the Deputy Head of Department thought the dude was excellent and had excellent relations. I am the lowest staff in my group in terms of hierarchy. Anyways, onward. So I had the first meeting with this Deputy Head after the Indian dude left (whom I was working in his team); however, the meeting was full of negative statements about the guy who had left. He said "he wasnt the the best of workers", "He wasnt very organized",  "he didnt achieve much in 2 years and you are producing results in 3 months", "he was lazy at times" what rationale is behind airing them to me? since I am a junior staff? is it a ploy to make me work harder or what? I will be taking over the work the indian dude left.


Also when i joined, i used to type email subjects in all capitals. the Deputy once asked me casually, "Why do you like to type email subjects in all capitals, that it makes them stand out?", I said "To give them more emphasis" - and he replied: "yes it does give them more emphasis"  in a normal and happy tone. Few weeks later, I had a meeting with my manager and he told that I should now be typing emails with small text as some people perceive it as shouting - why didnt the deputy dude have d nerve to say so since he is higher than my line manager in the company?

My main fear is that my gut tells me the guy IS doing the same thing to me in the firm - it has become politics lol. he will tell me "Great work &"my name"!", "Excellent work!" and go and tell the Head of Department that this dude is utter crap and not fit for purpose while the reverse might actually be the case.

Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that these british people are just too fake. The behaviour of the deputy is too dangerous - I have come to see that all friendliness whether in the work place or elsewhere (from personal observations) towards foreigners is fake and lacks any genuiness - any praises is kind of fake and this deputy would judge you off the fly.

I had been considering leaving britain bak to my home country or to the americas anyway - is oz and canada as anti-immigration (this is a personal view) as UK i.e. almost daily media reinforcement of anti-immigration in peoples minds?
Re: Back Stabbing In Companies-why Are Some People So Fake? by DisGuy: 12:31pm On Mar 08, 2008
I think this is common in most companies not saying it is right but it is common everywhere!


the fact you don't like Britain might be another thing,
I've read some of your post and you keep saying the thing over and over again,
the white British are this, the country is that, you want to move to Australia, Canada, US etc
remember you choose the country yourself

a skin head will just tell you ' why don't you just leave the country asap if you don't like it'

you read too much into things, you have to develop a thick skin; keep a straight head and focus on your job, take the criticism on the chin and move on

the fact that immigration is in the news all the time is because they are actually having a problem with it
rapid population increases and the problems that come with it, hospitals, schools, security and people taking advantage of the 'system' not necessarily because they are anti-immigration,
Re: Back Stabbing In Companies-why Are Some People So Fake? by debosky(m): 9:09pm On Mar 08, 2008
people are fake everywhere - even in naija. smile at you one minute, stab you in the back the next. It has absolutely nothing to do with race/country.

The other countries you seek to 'escape' to may not be better, in the sense that you may experience the same issues. if not worse in those places as well. Like Dis Guy said, develop a thick skin focus on your job and try to make a few solid/real friends. Thats all we really need. It will be extremely naive of you to think everybody will like you or welcome you in a company/country. Just get on with your life while treating others with respect.
Re: Back Stabbing In Companies-why Are Some People So Fake? by Nwaka77: 1:16am On Mar 10, 2008
Its like that everywhere you go. The United States is probably worse when it comes to being fake. They smile at you but say negative things behind your back. All I can advise is, do not trust anyone. Just focus on your work and do the best you can.
Re: Back Stabbing In Companies-why Are Some People So Fake? by gentledove(f): 11:19am On Mar 10, 2008
@obalende,

its like that everywhere. when i was still with the 'gala' company, i was working with the Lawyer in charge and my God, he would praise me and wish me well in front of my very eyes. but as soon as i turn my back, he would tell people i am useless. that i am so disorganised and that i am even trying to take his post. it went to the extent that i am fetish. he spoilt my name everywhere and the HR had to call me to ask what i have done to 'Mide. i told her nothing that he is the best boss i have ever had. later they understood he was practising 'divide and rule' method which led to his being sacked from the 'gala company'.

so take heart. be on the look out for another job. the lord will grant you your heart desires as he granted mine last week (Amen). relax, do your job and close your ears to all side talks. pretend they dont exist even though its hard to do. the lord will grant you the grace.

ciao wink

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