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My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome - Family - Nairaland

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My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 12:39pm On Feb 06, 2013
Yesterday, I heard the sad story of a lady I respect so much and I decided to open this thread.

From [b]MY[b] experiences and the people around me, a lot of men claim to be business men before marriage and several years down the line the wives become the bread winners, struggling to make ends meet and in some cases trying to protect the man's dignity by maintaining a certain lifestyle. What happens in such homes?? Love disappears and the fights/arguments begin. In some cases, the women begin to cheat or do all kinds of things to make ends meet.

Members of my family, my mum's friends and even my mum are not left out of this. I know so many people that I begin to wonder. Did these businesses ever exist or they went down the drain? Most of these men have become so shameless that they believe it's their wife’s responsibility to take care of the home. They don't assist in anyway with doing chores as well and still go around forming ‘big man’. Every business you suggest to them is for small boys and before you know it, years have rolled by and they have not achieved anything.

I may be wrong in generalising but with everything I have experienced in my few years on earth, I can conclude it’s mostly common with Yoruba men. I am not tribalistic because I am Yoruba myself but I think the only supposed ‘business men’ it is safe for your daughters or friends to marry are IBO men. They are ready to do any kind of business and do not see anything as shameful. Their pride lies in being able to provide for their families and they don’t mind if they wear rags, as long as their wives and kids are well taking care off.

Like I said, I have not done any proper research before coming to this conclusion but if I had the time and resources, I will. If possible, I’ll set up a charity to educate young women about this. Hustling and making a few millions in your lifetime does not amount to you being a business man. What are your future plans for providing for your family? And I mean regular income.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please tell your friends, sisters and daughters the following

• Verify your supposed ‘business man’s’ sources of income before you get married, make sure he has a solid business plan. This is not too say you are materialistic but by doing this you are securing your future and that of your kids.
• Make financial plans together before you tie the knots, listen to his business plans and make sure they are sustainable.
• Check if he is proud and always belittling some kinds of businesses, little drops of water they say make a mighty ocean. If you guys run into some crisis in the future, you are sure he can start from somewhere to pick himself up again and provide for his family. He won’t sit down at home and watch the years go by, waiting for a multi-million naira contract that may never show up.
• I don’t wish to sound like a broken record, but I don’t blame the rise in incidents that we have seen in previous posts that state that parents now inspect the offices or businesses of the supposed partners their daughters want to marry, it might sound extreme but I support this 100%.
• Please be supportive as well, don’t squander all the money and keep yours in your pocket for personal use, help out as well. I don’t support housewives without any sources of income at all (topic for another day).

Life is not a bed of roses but our choices can definitely affect our future and the kind of lives we live.

6 Likes

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 12:48pm On Feb 06, 2013
The Nigerian environment is unpredictable for business.And the values shared by society is different,most igbo men have travelled far from there original places,so they can do anything.

1 Like

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 12:50pm On Feb 06, 2013
So is it OK to watch your family suffer and your wife do the 'anything' which you the man refuses to do? While she feeds him and clothes him? I think not!

2 Likes

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 12:52pm On Feb 06, 2013
A small scale business man still live beyond the money that he gets from the business.driving a big car and looking good always is expensive and affects the business.So the business can never grow.

1 Like

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 12:54pm On Feb 06, 2013
aysometin: So is it OK to watch your family suffer and your wife do the 'anything' which you the man refuses to do? While she feeds him and clothes him? I think not!

What i meant was that you really cannot predict the future,but its better to have few kids and the women is responsible in this respect.

1 Like

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 12:58pm On Feb 06, 2013
How can you predict a business that will do well ,or predict that the husband will be sacked etc.I know a man that was engaged making blocks for building houses,people laughed at him and made fun of him just because he was highly educated and they dont expect that from him.
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 2:05pm On Feb 06, 2013
Please read my post again.
I said life is not a bed of roses and we all know that things go wrong, but in the first instance you need to know the man's values and his plan for his life, so if things go wrong or if his business plan fails, then you can at least gurantee that he will try other things rather than seat down and wait for manna to fall from heaven.

The most important thing is having a man that believes in SUPPORTING his family no matter what, not lazy men that become comfortable when their wives are able to provide.
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 4:45pm On Feb 06, 2013
aysometin: Please read my post again.
I said life is not a bed of roses and we all know that things go wrong, but in the first instance you need to know the man's values and his plan for his life, so if things go wrong or if his business plan fails, then you can at least gurantee that he will try other things rather than seat down and wait for manna to fall from heaven.

The most important thing is having a man that believes in SUPPORTING his family no matter what, not lazy men that become comfortable when their wives are able to provide.

Well women should should look for they leap,so many hardworking people dont get the good women
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by bukatyne(f): 10:51pm On Mar 29, 2016
Strangely, everyone on this thread has deactivated their account.

1 Like

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 11:00pm On Mar 29, 2016
bukatyne:
Strangely, everyone on this thread has deactivated their account.
The thread is haunted. cool

2 Likes

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by pacino26(m): 8:38am On Mar 30, 2016
'Business man' get class, an average ambitious young guy would want to hustle and make it big in life but we've on record that our dear country is a difficult place to start-up even if you're a graduate.

I tire for.......
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by heavenlychy: 8:52am On Mar 30, 2016
Good point op, it isn't only Yorubas only. I'm in the same dilemma o. Funny thing is we have a bus which we gave to someone to ride and bring money. the person has not been bringing the money and i told my hubby to collect the bus and drive himself but pride will not let him. I'm so tired.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by thelish(f): 11:03am On Mar 30, 2016
God bless Op. Not only Yoruba oo. urhobo as well.. They feel too big to do certain jobs. so annoying.
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Acidosis(m): 11:46am On Mar 30, 2016
heavenlychy:
Good point op, it isn't only Yorubas only. I'm in the same dilemma o. Funny thing is we have a bus which we gave to someone to ride and bring money. the person has not been bringing the money and i told my hubby to collect the bus and drive himself but pride will not let him. I'm so tired.
cheesy

But women also drive buses and danfo...
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by thelish(f): 3:44pm On Mar 30, 2016
Acidosis:

cheesy

But women also drive buses and danfo...

By their comment, you will know them. So d woman should go and drive d bus, why d man sit at home waiting for d returns
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Acidosis(m): 4:07pm On Mar 30, 2016
thelish:


By their comment, you will know them. So d woman should go and drive d bus, why d man sit at home waiting for d returns
I no say you must talk...

Would you honestly be proud of a man (graduate with degree/masters) who compete on the road with agbero?
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by thelish(f): 4:11pm On Mar 30, 2016
Acidosis:

I no say you must talk...

Would you honestly be proud of a man (graduate with degree/masters) who compete on the road with agbero?

So make his family hungry? This is d pride we are talking about. So he is d only graduate on dat road? OK oooo
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Acidosis(m): 4:14pm On Mar 30, 2016
thelish:


So make his family hungry? This is d pride we are talking about. So he is d only graduate on dat road? OK oooo

I understand, I don't encourage laziness and there's absolutely nothing wrong in driving a bus. But I understand women very well, most of you won't condone or be proud of a graduate driver. Many of you would still condemn him and ask him why he's not working in the office
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by thelish(f): 5:59pm On Mar 30, 2016
Acidosis:


I understand, I don't encourage laziness and there's absolutely nothing wrong in driving a bus. But I understand women very well, most of you won't condone or be proud of a graduate driver. Many of you would still condemn him and ask him why he's not working in the office

Really? Even wen we know there is no job yet?
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by austine4real(m): 6:57pm On Mar 30, 2016
2bottles of big stout 4u op
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Acidosis(m): 8:30pm On Mar 30, 2016
thelish:

Really? Even wen we know there is no job yet?
Some women, dear... Some women are so unpredictable.
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by tunde82seidat(f): 10:29am On Apr 01, 2016
Nice one op!I know many women going what u just described. My ex hve same mentality and I had to quit d relationship,in as much as I m striving to be successful Itl b frustrating to marry my opposite, a man should not b too chosy when it comes to making money, imagine a man will stay at home without helping his woman that has gone out to provide for family and will b accusing d woman of not taking up her wifely responsibilities

1 Like

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by bukatyne(f): 4:46pm On Apr 05, 2016
grin
BoboYekini:
The thread is haunted. cool
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by ifyalways(f): 4:55pm On Apr 05, 2016
Who resurrected this dead thread with lots of nobodies undecided

@Topic, In Nigeria, when someone says s/he is a business man with no office/shop,not duly registered etc,every street smart person should know its just "hustling" ie hand-to-mouth with a few change to spare. Nothing solid to fall back on hence not an ideal marriage candidate if the other partner is unemployed.

1 Like

Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by raumdeuter: 5:01pm On Apr 05, 2016
thelish:


By their comment, you will know them. So d woman should go and drive d bus, why d man sit at home waiting for d returns

What a man can do a woman can do better make the wife go drive Danfo too
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by raumdeuter: 5:02pm On Apr 05, 2016
ifyalways:
Who resurrected this dead thread with lots of nobodies undecided

@Topic, In Nigeria, when someone says s/he is a business man with no office/shop,not duly registered etc,every street smart person should know its just "hustling" ie hand-to-mouth with a few change to spare. Nothing solid to fall back on hence not an ideal marriage candidate if the other partner is unemployed.

Ori eja how far
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by Nobody: 5:09pm On Apr 05, 2016
tunde82seidat:
Nice one op!I know many women going what u just described. My ex hve same mentality and I had to quit d relationship,in as much as I m striving to be successful Itl b frustrating to marry my opposite, a man should not b too chosy when it comes to making money, imagine a man will stay at home without helping his woman that has gone out to provide for family and will b accusing d woman of not taking up her wifely responsibilities

Wow you had a lucky escape
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by ifyalways(f): 6:49am On Apr 06, 2016
raumdeuter:


Ori eja how far
Dayo?

Which kain moniker be dis now? Bawo? Iyawo ati lil' Dayos nko?
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by SAMBARRY: 8:08am On Apr 06, 2016
thelish:


By their comment, you will know them. So d woman should go and drive d bus, why d man sit at home waiting for d returns
grin

"Owo deliva " as its called grin grin grin
Re: My Husband/fiance Is A 'business Man' Syndrome by SAMBARRY: 8:10am On Apr 06, 2016
A 3year old thread? shocked

It's well

*drops microphone*

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