Nairaland Forum

My Dearest Agbani Darego,

Will you be my valentine?

Do give this the utmost consideration. If you will be my valentine, let me say that I am, first, of all men most privileged, and second, about to engage in heavy research about what being someone’s valentine actually entails.
If you will not be my valentine, I must assume this is only because you would prefer me to ask you to marry me. If so, poste haste and with rapidity in extremis, I would, My Sweetling, desire your hand- and as much of the rest of you as possible -in blissful matrimony.

But wait. I traverse ahead of myself. I have not introduced myself. Sure I have spent many hours ogling over your Instagram photos and following you closely on Twitter, but I have never, as it were, had the opportunity of introducing myself.

I am The Editor.

Ah, My Lollipop, I can see your sad smile now. You are shaking your head, wondering if I am just another one of those men struck by your beauty and effortless grace.
Yes, it is true I am one of those men, but if I might add, I am even more awestruck by your beauty. There is no hope for me.
Marry me, My Cupcake.

Consider the advantages. I have discussed them below.



My Fondant, If you marry me, you will be fully protected in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. I have watched Walking Dead (Seasons 1 and 2), and every zombie movie there is. I know how to finish them off (destroy the brain), how to stay alive (Run like hell) and how not to get slowed down by unnecessary hangers on. (I know so much, I am in fact publishing a simple handbook on this very subject called “Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse” available in stores shortly. You will of course, get a free signed copy.....................

Secondly, the possibility exists that with your incredibly beautiful genes, and my deeply rooted interests in you, our offspring could be the very first of the race of super intelligent and super powerful humans. I can see it now: Junior finds the cure for cancer. His sister brings about world peace. You and I will bask in parental pride, secure in the knowledge that our union has benefited the world immensely. As I said, the possibility exists.

Thirdly, You will never have to worry about me going off to be an astronaut or being called off on some secret government mission to topple some enemy regime. I won’t even join the Bolivian Army. I suppose these are some of the first things you worry about when a potential suitor approaches. Rest your lovely head at ease, My Peppermint stick, I will do none of these things.

Have you seen Les Miserables yet? I’m only asking because I haven’t and everyone is going on and on about it.................



READ COMPLETE STORY

No time to read all that abeg

lovely

Ok... Awaiting her "response".

Ogbeni.....MI sabi english gan o

Nyc write up, M.I is lyt years ahead of all African rappers. He is an intellectual. Respect M.I. Abaga.

Bold but a little bit of a drama action! Abgani is proly frowning right now as shes twice the height of Mr. Incredible...considering shes gonna wear high heels, shes proly gonna end up looming all over bro Jude.
I think MI really needs to step into that beans-eating diet

Get inspired, visit
www.inspired.com.ng
for your daily inspirational dose!

brb

eRMM....creative I will say...will certainly make her laugh..which might raise his value..But this one no go raise MI height...Agbani is like 6 ft plus..MI is 4 Ft 2' How e wan work?

A trial they say is better than not making an attempt...Wish you good luck bro

.

Not sexy! He is just like a lawyer in the court trying to present his case before the judge.
No! For me

Dancing Kukereto

[b][/b]
great use of words. Definately interesting.
M.i, are u saying u dnt have a gurl at the moment? My house-help is free.

Is the short black boy for real? Creative writing though

k2039: Unfortunately she is my val., MI will have to wait till next year.

Unfortunately she is my val.,
Y0U will have to wait till next
year.

SWEET......

But wait o...before Agbani Darego became famous, wasn't she someone's girlfriend?

Abeegggi M.I Carry go joor...

cool
short things+tall things
@ Agbani no fall d guy hand

OMG!!!....I want to fall in LOVE too nah!!!!

Gosh!!!!
MI is such a core rapper, he does not even know how to be romantic or funny either.
if i was an ordinary girl, this line wont move me 1 bit, not to talk of Agbani wey don hear tire.
what i really cant fanthom is the contrast in their heights

deviduff: MI should go and luk 4 his height. 1st page on front page

That's not bad, he is only proving Charles Darwin Evolution Theory.

MI agbani nah ur big sista oo... Me cnt shout,all d best anywayz

k2039: Unfortunately she is my val., MI will have to wait till next year.

keep dreamin. Maybe it myt com tru in ur next lifetym