all this claims of 'i'll leave him' 'many fishes in the sea'

simply because he insulted you? there must've been some context to the whole thing. You cannot walk away from a relationship at a single sign of trouble.

The man may simply have had a torrid day or something.

All these knee jerk reactions lie behind the large number of nairaland 'professional spinsters'

I'd prefer you slap him and deal with the issues at home rather than all this leave him story.

Cassiel, u're gambling on the possibility that the guy doesnt have a violent streak. I personally wont advise my own sister to fight in public . . . use ur legs . . . some men can be unpredictable.

debosky:

all this claims of 'i'll leave him' 'many fishes in the sea'

simply because he insulted you? there must've been some context to the whole thing. You cannot walk away from a relationship at a single sign of trouble.

The man may simply have had a torrid day or something.

All these knee jerk reactions lie behind the large number of nairaland 'professional spinsters'  

I'd prefer you slap him and deal with the issues at home rather than all this leave him story.  

i also dont think its wise Ending everything there, cos it could just turn out to be a very wrong reason, "maybe later"

@ debosky . . . at this point i must say i support leaving the guy. A man who will yell at you in public while still ur boyfriend . . . dont call me when he starts actually beating you when you get married.

debo shut the hell up. what is wrong with you sef. You're not married so be quiet before I expose you. Oniranu.

e pele professional "bachelor"

If someone is calling you all sorts of nasty names in public, LARIN ERO, you have to think twice about that relationship whether it's worth it or not because as software has pointed out,. a guyb that can get that nasty in public usually has no problem becoming physically abusive, such things should be considered.

Shio.

morenike09:

@software
a real woman knows how to seduce her man. . .how to tame him in public. . .if he pushes me back, i'll simply walk away. . .i no get time for a disrespectful man. . . .there are many fish in the sea. . .

How to tame him in public before or after he requires taming? Dearie,if its after the loser insults you that you start thinking of taming him in public,that's medicine after death,trust me.He either respects you or he doesn't,period.Kisses,hugs,sex,are only temporary.You've gotta do something that will stick real good.
@debosky
Note that the poster didn't just say 'insult'.He said 'insults in a loud voice in public'.There's a big difference.For the love of moses,she's your woman.Why can't you deal with her in private?Why do you have to bring her down in the view of the entire world?She's not some common acquaintance,she's the woman in your life.Doesn't that count for anything?

debosky:

all this claims of 'i'll leave him' 'many fishes in the sea'

simply because he insulted you? there must've been some context to the whole thing. You cannot walk away from a relationship at a single sign of trouble.

The man may simply have had a torrid day or something.

All these knee jerk reactions lie behind the large number of nairaland 'professional spinsters'

I'd prefer you slap him and deal with the issues at home rather than all this leave him story.

debo, i understand your points. but my mom once told me never to humiliate or insult my spouse in public. . .that i should always deal with my problems inside locked doors.

you're also right, i should not just walk away from the relationship. but what i want you to know is that it depends on how rocky the relationship is and what he said to me.
i also told you that if he did it twice am out, the reason is that i dnt want a man that will insult his girl (who may turn out to be his girl) in public. because when they do get marreid, it mean he has no problem insulting her when his and her family are there, when their children are present to witness the fight.

and i'll not lay a hand on a man that i know is stronger than me. you ever heard of this yoruba saying? "Abara kekere fun abara nla". . .small slap for big slap.

4Him:

@ debosky . . . at this point i must say i support leaving the guy. A man who will yell at you in public while still your boyfriend . . . don't call me when he starts actually beating you when you get married.

and what if it was as a result of something that stirred up his or her anger? "rememebr they say there cant be two fools at the same time, "

anyway, am only suggesting, i have not been in such a situation b4, i also dont pray to be in any, but on the default, i think wat i will do is to pick race, then i can think on wat to do later,

4Him:

@ debosky . . . at this point i must say i support leaving the guy. A man who will yell at you in public while still your boyfriend . . . don't call me when he starts actually beating you when you get married.

thank you jare

man catches girlfriend blowin anoda man in d toilet, he waits 4 her 2 come out, he cant take it anymore, he confronts her outside, she denies, he tells her he saw her, she still denies, he sparks and shouts and so on , if u ask me, it makes sense

4Him:

Cassiel, u're gambling on the possibility that the guy doesnt have a violent streak. I personally wont advise my own sister to fight in public . . . use your legs . . . some men can be unpredictable.

Dude,you're doing a very good job of mis-interpreting me

henry007:

man catches girlfriend blowin another man in d toilet, he waits 4 her 2 come out, he can't take it anymore, he confronts her outside, she denies, he tells her he saw her, she still denies, he sparks and shouts and so on , if u ask me, it makes sense

Only you can come up with such a ridiculous scenario. What about the man that was caught with his mistress and he was the one that ended up beating up his wife anyway?

software:

and what if it was as a result of something that stirred up his or her anger? "rememebr they say there can't be two fools at the same time, "

bros no long thing. A girl raises her voice against me in public its bye bye. I fully expect a girl to do likewise. If you cant respect her outside neither will you respect her inside.

Cassiel:

Dude,you're doing a very good job of mis-interpreting me

At which point? Pouring juice on his crotch?  

4Him:

@ debosky . . . at this point i must say i support leaving the guy. A man who will yell at you in public while still your boyfriend . . . don't call me when he starts actually beating you when you get married.

That connection is tenuous at best. A man may react oddly because of an unusual set of circumstances. . .it is like judging how a person behaves on a daily basis by the way he responded when he lost his mom or something. It may simply be an isolated incident.

@ D-reloaded

I think the hormones in the water are acting up again

A pattern of abusive behaviour or insults is what shows a tendency for physical abuse, not a one off incident. Y'all should reason more deeply than that.

henry007:

man catches girlfriend blowin another man in d toilet, he waits 4 her 2 come out, he can't take it anymore, he confronts her outside, she denies, he tells her he saw her, she still denies, he sparks and shouts and so on , if u ask me, it makes sense

Very imaginative.There are a lot of gifted scriptwriters here.

debosky:

That connection is tenuous at best. A man may react oddly because of an unusual set of circumstances. . .it is like judging how a person behaves on a daily basis by the way he responded when he lost his mom or something. It may simply be an isolated incident.

You do have a point. Here is the problem though, most men and women tend to be on their best behaviour when dating . . . there are physically abusive men in marriage who cant even speak out in public. It is "isolated incidents" that give you a window into the kind of person you are.

When an argument between a guy and his girlfriend evolves into the guy publicly insulting her and not caring who hears him,that's crossing a lot of boundaries.If,in the first place,they can't have an argument in public without it turning nasty,bad day or not,they have no business being together.
@4Him
No need being nasty,save that for the Sports section I meant the part where you said fighting in public Inever said any such thing.That's just razz.A woman fighting in public is a terrible sight to behold,trust me.

4Him:

bros no long thing. A girl raises her voice against me in public its bye bye. I fully expect a girl to do likewise. If you can't respect her outside neither will you respect her inside.

anyway, that will depend on how strong the relationship is, wat if u guys had already done Introduction? will you just end it THERE just like that?

Eranko, I drink bottle water that I personally get from FIJI!

Seriously you need to stop that whole "oh the yada yada ones are the ones that are picky", are women not allowed to picky anymore? wtf, just it's annoying, stop it. I expect that kind of crap from people likc blacklion and co

I never said the person should just up and completely dissolve the relationship, I just said they should think twice about it and be on guard

Cassiel:

@4Him
No need being nasty,save that for the Sports section I meant the part where you said fighting in public Inever said any such thing.That's just razz.A woman fighting in public is a terrible sight to behold,trust me.

apologies if that sounded nasty . . . wasnt meant to be.

yup, i soundly agree with the portion in highlights but is "controlled violence" any better? You may as well fight as its not likely the guy would be in the mood to let you make a fool of him in public without exacting some revenge.

nahhh i dont think my boyfriend can do that, cos we will have to get along in the first place before we go out, not to go out and start showing the whole world how loud u can shout.

as 4 me, the story is wrong sided, i need the two parties 2 confirm, d woman is prolly at fault, maybe she tried 2 dupe him sef, stuff like dat r not taken likely

Guilty conscience

I wasn't referring to you in isolation, the ladies on this thread by and large except for a few are saying they'll leave.

A ONE OFF incident of him insulting you does not cross any boundaries if there are extraneous circumstances surrounding the incident.

If it is a regular occurrence, then all this 'he will become a wife beater' and 'many fishes in the sea' become tenable.

He may simply need to be more courteous next time, shit happens. Insult in public can mean a whole range of things, from saying 'you're silly' to a shouting match. Women ARE allowed to be picky, but if they are UNREALISTIC, they might as well go live in a nunnery. Expecting your bf/husband to be perfect won't get you anywhere.

Face it - some people may just have poor social skills with NO violent/abusive streak whatsoever. What I am against is the absolutism here - crazy moments occur in every relationship, you deal with it and move on. I repeat, such knee jerk reactions is increasing the spinster population on nl.

sounds like henry is a homosexual

henry007:

as 4 me, the story is wrong sided, i need the two parties 2 confirm, d woman is prolly at fault, maybe she tried 2 dupe him sef, stuff like that r not taken likely

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, henry u, ve come again, y u blaming the lady now, who is making u judge  sef, did the even tell u to settle any quarrel, the topic is what will u do if ur lover insults u in public, u are playing Mr judge, abeg answer d question jare

guilty what?

I never said you were referring to me, you say it all the time in threads like this and frankly I think it's condescending to women.

acidrop:

nahhh i don't think my boyfriend can do that, because we will have to get along in the first place before we go out, not to go out and start showing the whole world how loud u can shout.

no matter the level of getting along b4 dating, it doesnt mean such a thin cant happen,  so many factors could arise.

factors like what, ehen if the factor arise and he yells @ me in public, he will be getting one fine pretty slap across his face now

DEBO

ur post is jus funny,as in increasing spinsters on NL, .Its so funny to me,i dont really know why.

But as a lady or maybe if my sister tells me of a crazy moment frm a SLAPPING GUY,men i will surely cut from the relationship,Except i catch her pants down with another guy which shouldnt happen in the public anyway.
Its stupid to beat people.The worst should be throwing yabs,and even if its done outside you know its immaturity

How is every1 doing anyway?

acidrop:

factors like what, ehen if the factor arise and he yells @ me in public, he will be getting one fine pretty slap across his face now

for example, He was stressed or queried up at work, and that same day,  one rumor monger tells him sometin horrible about u, and he comes and meet u at work and yell at u,

D-reloaded:

sounds like henry is a homosexual

u wld know

why are you people so slap happy_{i really shouldnt be talking}


seriously though, such barbarism. you stand and leave and make sure he or she begs you for a very long time what whatever they can get.