@Topic
It's no tradition at all.just that most men are not contented with what they have ._{convetousness and lack of discipline of the highest order}

I think a married man can have a girlfriend. Maybe what you should have asked is if a married man can have an affair.

if that is a tradition, i feel its a disgusting one!!!!!!!!!

Nice thread, let me just chip in a bit. I am not going to go all moral and all that because we are all human. But I believe that in marriage, one shouldnt cheat.
Fine, its not easy on us guys and all that , but its not going to be an excuse, Im a guy and most of us wont be so happy if our wives jump on someone else outside.
Its a case of doin onto others what we want done to us. The problem with this whole men cheating thing, is that they know what they like, as per bedmatics. They know
they like the positions, and all other ish, but in the case of marriage and all that they go looking for some "clean" woman who "supposedly" doesnt know anything and then the
man now expects her to perform like those chicks hes used to, please.
Also since the dude has put out this vibe for wanting an "innocent-born again", if the woman does know stuff, she wont dare display before husband begins to halla.
So u got 2 married pple being frustrated, and of course the guy begins jumping around, not that its justifiable, cus me I pray not to do the same to mine.
Its all about not being real with ur spouse and being hypocritical about sex especially in naija. The man wants a bj, the woman thinks its devilish(Ive heard this before),
The wife has a fantasy, she cant tell the man cus shes afraid of being branded as something else, at this point, some guys are gonna come out here and say marriage is not about sex, yeah
guaranteed, but its important , else this thread wont exist.
As for me, My bride to be and I are going to yarn some serious koko, if she isnt open minded, then bros u gotta think well and stop deceiving yourselves.
At this juncture, married women do cheat, so its not just us, but cheating isnt a good thing, dont pray for it to happen to me,
Its all about being open and willing to pleasure ur partner, afterall una go spend ur life 2gether, and if ur partner wants something new, well its all abt dialog and communication, and not judging!
Cheers

@ ehie007

you're a bad boy.Where did you get all those pictures?I'm sure not from your bank website.

@ All

Most female posters have tended to view the matter from one side of the coin,aiming eventually to lay the blame on the laps of men.This is wrong
On the other hand,most male posters have tried to pin it on the ladies who tempt men in one way or the other or outrightly chase married men(I've heard ladies who say they prefer married men cos they are more "responsible".This too is wrong

Personally the topic is really deep and it's regretful that negative things are really prevalent.
Faithfulness to one's spouse is not just to one's spouse,it's faithfulness to God too.
We all get tempted(that's why we're human)but do we need to fall?,
If you value your peace of mind,I bet you,you'll rather stay faithful to your spouse (whether they dress like ehies models or not)
The same applies to the opposite sex
Come to think of it,it's just like an empty mountain zenith,once you get there you'll realise there's nothing there

coolier:

I think a married man can have a girlfriend. Maybe what you should have asked is if a married man can have an affair.

and what is the difference if i may ask?
a married man having a girlfriend is different from a marriedd man habing an affair? yeah rite

The same difficulty; as it is hard for women to dress modestly so it is hard for married men to keep to only their wives

ferdiii:

The same difficulty; as it is hard for women to dress modestly so it is hard for married men to keep to only their wives

[size=13pt]Hmmmmmm that's some food for thought for the women.[/size]

Sisikill, thanks for ur commendations.

The ladies/girls we av nowadys are killing, its only natural for men to react to wat they see. even if they dont want to react their little Johns will react(if u know what i mean). see more pics of y men will cheat.

Men were made to be moved by what they see.

Wives should also understand this, so they should as well be dressing sexy at home so that it can reduce the no of attempts their hubby will go outside.


with women dresses like this below, even me go look twice or thrice

Good radiance to bad rubbish. so how does what men see translate to tradition. i think the whole problem emanates from the movies we watch and the stories they tell in them. it is almost unusual watch a movie that the story line isn't pointing towards so called love

we all speak with fingers pointing right back at us.
how many of you guys can truthfuly beat ur chest and say u never cheated on a gf?
well thats how it starts, them little misbehaviour now, turns out to be ur nasty future latter.

so my friends this is a question with no definate answer.
some call it nature, some stupidity but it cant be truely answered.

I FEEL U IZEEK, HOW MANY GUYS WHO POST HERE CAN BOAST THAT THEY AVNT CHEATED IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.


NA GOD GO SAVE US.

HAPPY EASTER ALL, MAY THE RESURRECTION OF CHRIST BRING PEACE TO YOU ALL

If u can't keep your Anaconda in place after marriage , u better remain single

izeek:

we all speak with fingers pointing right back at us.
how many of you guys can truthfuly beat your chest and say u never cheated on a girlfriend?
well thats how it starts, them little misbehaviour now, turns out to be your nasty future latter.

so my friends this is a question with no definate answer.
some call it nature, some stupidity but it can't be truely answered.

Dont you think your post is incomplete,should av asked the ladies how many of 'em can beat their chest and say they've never cheated on a guy @ one time in their lives (probably hasn't happened/didn't happen to you)
Infidelity is not synonymous with the male folk,it's found in both sexes,a person that has self control and discipline will never be moved to compromise no matter how semi naked a babe dresses or how pretty she may appear.
Wisdom is the key,the beginning of which is the fear of God(even if na small fear of God ma sef,e go carry you thru)

wavemasta:


Also since the dude has put out this vibe for wanting an "innocent-born again", if the woman does know stuff, she wont dare display before husband begins to halla.
So u got 2 married people being frustrated, and of course the guy begins jumping around, not that its justifiable, cus me I pray not to do the same to mine.
Its all about not being real with your spouse and being hypocritical about sex especially in naija.
At this juncture, married women do cheat, so its not just us, but cheating isnt a good thing, don't pray for it to happen to me,
Its all about being open and willing to pleasure your partner, afterall una go spend your life 2gether, and if your partner wants something new, well its all about dialog and communication, and not judging!
Cheers

True talk.

rasputinn:

Dont you think your post is incomplete,should av asked the ladies how many of 'em can beat their chest and say they've never cheated on a guy @ one time in their lives (probably hasn't happened/didn't happen to you)
Infidelity is not synonymous with the male folk,it's found in both sexes,a person that has self control and discipline will never be moved to compromise no matter how semi naked a babe dresses or how pretty she may appear.
Wisdom is the key,the beginning of which is the fear of God(even if na small fear of God ma sef,e go carry you through)

Seconded. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . peeps would not just stop blaming the men, no be our fault.
God created us to respond to stimulus when these ladies dare our little john's

;d

@RichyBlack
From my understanding of what the post imply is to do with cheating on the marriage not poligamy. In the early life there as polygamy but no infidelity and if you study early life well there was were political, economical reasons behind poligamy and the most important of all was men then are real men, faithful, bold, strong etc.

@gentlegg
If you say women immoral dressing causes men to cheat. Then all men should be really realy evil by now, there are cheap guns every where dont all men turn to hired killers or cocaine addit or the likes because of cheap supply.

This topic amongst naija peeps always makes me laugh. The men have their opinion and the women have theirs. Even in America fa they have an entire CHRISTIAN religion that practices polygamy! They are called "mormons" and are a sect of "Church of Latter Day Saints". I'm not fibbing. This is true. They are all over Utah and it sounds like a nasty western Amok cult as far as I'm concerned not just because they practice polygamy but because of all the other issues that arise from such backwardness. It is a platform for pedophiles, egomaniacs, revolting incest and oppression to run rampant! Sha, that's off topic.

It's not a tradition for a man to have girlfriends outside. It was once and still is in some areas in naija socially acceptable for a man to have several wives. That's not a problem for me oh. It won't be my choice but kudos to whichever man wants to take on the strain. However, if polygamy is ok then I propose that polyandry should be equally fine and dandy. And if your wife is no longer appealing to you she's not a melu melu that can't understand. That's your wife. Tell her your qualms. Tell her you'd like her to do the things she once did that attracted you to her in the first place. That's called "communication". Sorry to say but you guys take the first, cowardly option out which is to cheat rather than work it out with your spouse. I've seen gorgeous men, men with shishi, class and charisma that happen to be faithful to their spouse. It's not perfection. It's doable.

For the women: It's very easy for us to fall into that level of routine/comfortability once we are married. We assume nothing can change, we're together for life. We start messing in his presence, tying wrappa and leaving our hair anyhow like we would when we are with our sisters or brothers. Well, your relationship with your husband is not the same as your relationship with your siblings so don't treat him like one. While we find it easy to find something about our spouse that turns us on even when he's developed a pot belle a la papa Ajasco and he's hair is relocating to his nose and his back, men are not exactly wired that way and our society condones very different standards for men and women. My advise is every once in a while surprise him. Men like danger and adventure se? Show up at his work one day in a wig, high heels and the sexiest dress you can wear without looking like an igbagwe prostitute. The next month make it a habit to give him a full on goodbye kiss once a week then grab his ass and send him off to work. No other omoge will be on his mind besides you. I bet you he will be your slave for life! I know I've seen it work!

omoovie:

I've seen gorgeous men, men with shishi, class and charisma that happen to be faithful to their spouse. It's not perfection. It's doable.

Oh so you've seen me eh?that's ok

Seriously,your post is well put across.You be well grounded omo Bendel,big ups to you

omoovie u're good, great tips , i'm definately borrowing from your train of thoughts, i totally agree, women need to up there game to keep there men focused, but men need to remember there vows tooo sha even if the wifes slips up once in a while and dont look so sexy all the time. , c'mon boys drop the excuses y'all can stay faithful to ur wives it's all in the mind its called self discipline, keep the pants up

@ rasputin: That's too funny! If you are like those men I know sha, big ups to you too. Your wife will be very happy! I rep Bendel 24/7 oh! You wan try?! He he he!

@ tj2000: You are welcome to borrow tips from my post but sha give author ihn credit. LOL. I second what you said 100%. It's all self discipline and guys need to understand just as dem dey eye omoge, we too our eye dey stray, but most of us stay faithful because of what? self discipline.

of course its a tradition for a married man to have a girlfriend. Back in the days we men were allowed to marry more than one wife according to our culture and traditions. Now dat we are all Christians we get to manage just one girlfriend.

Rainbow Song

Chorus:
If I was a Rainbow, I'll show my colours for YOU
If I was a song bird, I'll sing my song for YOU
If You take the sun and moon
And take away the stars at night
Your faithful word
Will always be my guide


Beautiful, such a miracle
That you would give up heaven just for me
And all i wanna do is fall more in Love with YOU
This world doesn't hold me anymore
But one thing that I do know for sure----

Repeat Chorus and verse till fade---

Lenny LeBlanc

Omoovie yes oooooooooooo,

omoovie:

This topic amongst naija peeps always makes me laugh. The men have their opinion and the women have theirs. Even in America fa they have an entire CHRISTIAN religion that practices polygamy! They are called "mormons" and are a sect of "Church of Latter Day Saints". I'm not fibbing. This is true. They are all over Utah and it sounds like a nasty western Amok cult as far as I'm concerned not just because they practice polygamy but because of all the other issues that arise from such backwardness. It is a platform for pedophiles, egomaniacs, revolting incest and oppression to run rampant! Sha, that's off topic.

It's not a tradition for a man to have girlfriends outside. It was once and still is in some areas in naija socially acceptable for a man to have several wives. That's not a problem for me oh. It won't be my choice but kudos to whichever man wants to take on the strain. However, if polygamy is ok then I propose that polyandry should be equally fine and dandy. And if your wife is no longer appealing to you she's not a melu melu that can't understand. That's your wife. Tell her your qualms. Tell her you'd like her to do the things she once did that attracted you to her in the first place. That's called "communication". Sorry to say but you guys take the first, cowardly option out which is to cheat rather than work it out with your spouse. I've seen gorgeous men, men with shishi, class and charisma that happen to be faithful to their spouse. It's not perfection. It's doable.

For the women: It's very easy for us to fall into that level of routine/comfortability once we are married. We assume nothing can change, we're together for life. We start messing in his presence, tying wrappa and leaving our hair anyhow like we would when we are with our sisters or brothers. Well, your relationship with your husband is not the same as your relationship with your siblings so don't treat him like one. While we find it easy to find something about our spouse that turns us on even when he's developed a pot belle a la papa Ajasco and he's hair is relocating to his nose and his back, men are not exactly wired that way and our society condones very different standards for men and women. My advise is every once in a while surprise him. Men like danger and adventure se? Show up at his work one day in a wig, high heels and the sexiest dress you can wear without looking like an igbagwe prostitute. The next month make it a habit to give him a full on goodbye kiss once a week then grab his ass and send him off to work. No other omoge will be on his mind besides you. I bet you he will be your slave for life! I know I've seen it work!

Finally, a woman with some objectivity! Phew! Omoovie, well said and I bet some of these male-bashing NL women are not going to take too kindly of your remarks.  By the way, na mormonism make Romney lose to McCain but I digress.  Nonetheless, you hit the nail right on the head here. 

prince_onx
Posts: 470

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Re: Is It A Tradition For A Married Man To Have A Girlfriend?
« #58 on: March 15, 2008, 11:25 PM »
I always advise guys never to argue with women when it comes to relationship topic! trust me, they'll always have answers to all question and the way the present their response make them so so inocent.

Guys Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, you'll never win.
na Eve bring the apple but na Adam carry the blame so don't feel bad! e don tayyyyyyyyyyyy, no be today!

prince_onx, funny but true statement!

omoovie, while I really agree with your post, your line about him looking like Pa Ajascio is a little off. If women are expected to still try to look good after marriage, childbirth ayda yada, I expect the guy to also put effort in looking good and staying quite fit.

My dad's going to be 60 in a couple of years and I can swear to you, many people tell me he looks no more than 41. He's quite obsessed with staying healthy and my mom defeinitely appreciates it.

I will only say that it is not an African tradition for men to have many sexual partners, I just wish African women will stop blaming the men.

Reasons:

1) It's not restricted only to African men, if not well-known western leaders will not be having sexual partners outside marriage and also the divorce rate in the west due to infidelity will not be as high.

2) Some African women will go to any extent to attract the attention of a man that they know is already married.

African women must also seriously check their own behaviours.

I have read u guys opinions. I want to comment on those that see the situation as adultery. If a married man or woman practice sex outside marriage, it is adultery from the religious aspect of it, fine. What about unmarried boys/girls practising sex here & there? Is this situation not equal to that of married men/women? One thing is that we try to hide our faults while exposing others. The only promise I have for those that say that man will not eat only one soup is that their children will follow their footsteps because kids learn fast by following the character of the people around them especially their parents. Morally, traditionally, religiously etc, it is wrong to practice sex before & outside marriage. SAY NO TO SEX BEFORE & OUTSIDE MARRIAGE & IT SHALL BE WELL WITH U!