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your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by bingbagbo(m): 6:02pm On Feb 13, 2013

DISC 1


Tunde and Bamba stayed in the same house.
One day, they both began behaving strangely.
They were rushed to the hospital and were confirmed mad.
One early morning,
Bamba went for a cutlass and threatened to kill everybody in the house .
Everybody in the house including the landlord took to their heels grin
What was shocking however was the fact that, Tunde who was also mad was also running away
so one tenant by name chomsky asked Tunde "why are u also running? Bamba be your fellow madman now?"
.
.
.
. "its true...but his own madness is greater!!" Tunde replied grin

DISC 2

i spotted this chick from afar so screamed;
"hey,...where are you going to?"

she replied " i am fine " grin

so i asked her "ah..so you cant speak english?"

she replied " i?..haha..i couldnt spoke engrish?..you lie bad....never!, never the less!!"

i added " well....i think you looking gorgeous...are you going out with any guy?"

she replied "eeeh..so you called me to insalt me abi...i looking dogeous...your mama be dogeous...your papa mama be the dogeous.....olodo!" grin grin

I TOOK TO MY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS grin grin grin


DISC 3

highway robbers attacked a bus in Onitsa .they ook monies from all the male passengers n lined up all the female passengers to bleep.
they bleeped all the women n it was the turn of a seventy year old woman.a young babe that had already receiceived hers felt sorry for the old lady and offered to rescue her by receiving it for her, the old woman looked at the girl closely and said, '' i am not complaining now, u take your own make i take my own. . . Why dont you mind ya own business? my sons, i am ready,!''
All robbers fainted grin


DISC 4

A teacher was teaching about odour in a primary 5 class.
He then asked the class to name parts of the body where there is usual odour.
Ramatu raised her hand and said "armpit"
Then Akpan came in with "the mouth"
.
.
.
.
Opinto's hand was up in the back so teacher called him. ..
.
.
he screamed " sah your yansh!!" grin

the teacher had a cardiac arrest immediately grin

Joyce's hand was still up, and when asked what she wanted to say,

she said "the kpekus!!!" grin



they all died

DISC 5

A group of whitemen visited a very typical 9ja village and saw the villagers packing bricks.what fascinated the whitemen was the long distance the villagers covered from where they carried the bricks to the packing site and the fact that, each man carried a brick on his head.
the whitemen sympathised with the villagers and introduced a wheelbarrow to the village and left the village. . .the whitemen returned to the village in a months time and realised the work rate of packing the bricks had slowed!"even with a wheelbarrow?" one whiteman thought. . .
The whitemen eventually understood why the work had slowed when they saw an on-coming wheelbarrow with one man pushing it with another man carrying a brick seated in the wheelbarrow! grin


DISC 6

ikpe had a long hair and beard and lived alone in a single room at onitsha.one night, thieves broke into his room and stole all his valuables.while ikpe was still asleep the thieves shaved all his long hair and beard.
ikpe woke up and saw his room looted so he began crying.He touched his head and saw it was shaved so stopped crying and said " thank God say e no be me!" grin

DISC 7

This taxi driver embossed on his car "POLICE ARE THIEVES"
The police saw him, beat him, handcuffed him and remanded him for two days.
He was finally released on conditions that he will change his message "POLICE ARE THIEVES"
.
..
.
.Two weeks later, the police spotted this same taxi coming, but this time with the inscription...

.
.

.
.
.
.
. "STILL THIEVES" grin

DISC 8

BED TIME PRAYER

HUSBAND:Heavenly father lord, thank you!FAther i thank you for everything.father please grant me wealth.father, give me money, let me be rich, and i will honour you.father, poverty has dealt with me enough, please Jesus, let me have cash yes o lord , thank you, amen

WIFE:Father i thank you!father i beg, no mind am oo.father, the moment this bamboo of a husband gets rich, he will buy a car and cruise with a sixteen year old girl, Father, i prefer this poverty to loosing my husband to a young Naughty Lady, father i will glorify your name if you grant this for me ooo, amen! grin

DISC 9

A bus was loading to Onitsa and lots of people gathered around it to sell their products to the passengers.
Some traders had their selling business booming as people were buying.
But amongst the sellers was this very frustrated herbal-medicine seller who had spoken at lenghts but not a single passenger had bought his product.
The bus was full and about to take off so the frustrated herbalist peeped into the bus, saw a youngman eating iced cream and this angered him further, he looked at this guy in anger and screamed "keep on buying and sucking ice cream, instead of buying medicine. .. if hernia attack you right now, you go talk say na winch dey pursue you, olodo!!!" grin grin


DISC 10

okwu was being disturbed by mosquitoes in the night, so he went to buy a fresh mosquito net
Before he would go to sleep in his new mosquito net that night, he called his fiancee on the phone;

okwu:baby na me na me okwu your darling. grin

fiancee:oh, honey i miss you o o o

okwu:yeah sweetie, me too oooo, . . . . ..hey baby, i don buy new mosquito net, so bye bye to mosquitoes, bye bye to malaria. . .



all the mosquitoes annoyed and hiding in the net in one accord screamed " bye bye to your papa...we dey wait for you jare. . .olodo!!!! grin








that night, okwu had his worst mosquito bites grin











he died of severe malaria the next morning!! grin


DISC 11

This man went to a native doctor to collect juju to be able to vanish.The native doctor asked the man to bring a sheep with a complete white fur.
Now after the man had searched through every corner but failed to get a complete white sheep, he decided to make do with this white sheep with a small black spot.He shaved off the black spot to deceive the native daughter grin

Now the native doctor had finished preparing the juju, so the man left to go and try it.His first stop was at Auntie Alice's bar.He ordered for drinks and food and soon finished them.He instantly saw the waitress coming for her money, so decided to apply his vanishing charm and remembered the native doctor told him to shout "eboboboboboboboobo" and he will vanish, so he shouted ''eboboboboboboboobo",

so he vanished.But the waitress could see the man's d1ck hanging on the wall.
then the man remembered the blackspot he shaved! grin grin




GOOD NIGHT FRIENDS: SIGNED: BIN GEE
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by hakunajay(m): 11:06pm On Feb 13, 2013
Bin Gbagbo? Is this really you? I never knew you could ever drop something good as this... Just kidding bro, you're still akpa amu... lol
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by ikechukz(m): 9:26am On Feb 14, 2013
funny.u try
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by bingbagbo(m): 4:27pm On Feb 14, 2013
hakunajay: Bin Gbagbo? Is this really you? I never knew you could ever drop something good as this... Just kidding bro, you're still akpa amu... lol





ikechukz: funny.u try


cool cool
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by fleyboy02: 12:53am On Feb 15, 2013
U guys should be posting I will be viewing
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by bingbagbo(m): 3:36pm On Feb 15, 2013
fleyboy02: U guys should be posting I will be viewing






bush pig!! angry
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by NEWBIN: 8:27pm On Mar 23, 2013
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by Presbulg(m): 12:47am On Mar 25, 2013
Cool stuffs cheesy
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by MrTAnonymous(m): 1:25am On Mar 25, 2013
As usual,smh
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by bingbagbo(m): 4:11pm On Mar 25, 2013
Mr.T Anonymous:
As usual,smh


as if he get head sef? angry
Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by CrazyMan(m): 4:21pm On Mar 25, 2013
grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: your JOKES PRESIDENT!!!! by MrTAnonymous(m): 6:57am On Mar 27, 2013
bin gbagbo:

as if he get head sef? angry
wetin do u?mtcheew

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