I am really confused on what to do concerning a friend of mine that is asking me to be his woman and build a relationship that could lead to marriage. We went to the university together but weren't friends back then. we connected again on facebook about three years ago and he tried asking me out but I shut him down and didn't communicate again until last year when we started chatting again on facebook and video chatting on Skype.I believe he is the kind of man I've been waiting for and I would love to date him, but the problem is that he is presently dating a lady, which he told me about the first time we got chatting again last year. He claims to like me alot but hasn't said anything about breaking up with is girlfriend but said he wasn't sure of the relationship with her. My fear is getting involved in a love triangle if I accept to date him and setting myself up for a heartbreak. What do you guys think

If you think he is worth fighting for, then do so, else back out! Besides, why did ur 'shakara' end all of a sudden? All this story wouldn't have been if u hadn't 'shut him down' like u said. Just saying

sorry poster but it's kinda your fault. You already turned him down before and the man moved on to other women while you were secretly hoping that he would stay single and wait for you when you are ready for him.
Now you see there is a chance of loosing him and now you want him. I don't blame the guy for not talking about breaking up with his current GF because you seem to be some what unpredictable with his heart. He has gotten wise and figured that chasing after one woman who may or may not like him is a waste of time.

Here is what you do, tell him you want clarification on what your situation is and ask him about the other woman. Ask or better yet let him know you will not deal with him if is continues to see her. Know that you are probably going to get your heart broken after he gets some azz from you because men don't forget.

Well I turn him down becos i didn't know him well enough to agree to a relationship with him. we spoke about the other woman and he said he wasn't sure of his relationship with her. I want him to break up with her on his terms, not becos i asked.

Just tell him to sought himself out with the girl before u will agree to date him and he must be willing to prove to u that he has broken up wit the girl..

Hmmm, you are on a long thing o. A man saying he is not sure of a woman is tantamount to saying 'she means something to me but I can't tell you that cause I still wanna comb ya V.' Careful how you tread cos the other woman won't take it lying down. Unless he makes a clean break with his current love, backpedal a bit else you will have yourself to blame..... and wait patiently, what's yours will come to you.

@OP
some guy has been in a three yr r/ship with a woman, and you are still believing that they are not serious?!

here is a clue: if he doesnt want to break up with her to be with you, then you are definitely NOT WORTHY to him.

@holychic,
you need to understand first of all that some guys could really like a girl and when turned down, they r forced into a relationship they might just be hanging on to for hanging sake. These type of guys can actually be honest when it comes to dating that girl they have always wanted. The one good thing here is that u guys r even grown up and graduates so I guess even him as a man would be looking to settle down. This guy may just be serious being that he must have studied ur character and lifestyle while u guys were in skool and if u were a good girl he might even believe in you more than his gf dats if he met her after skool. He definately might not be so sure of her past life and all dat. Take it slow with him, ask he questions and plz dnt force him to breakup with his gf. Try to find out stuffs abt y he is not sure of his relationship. Dnt fall just like that, take ur time to make sure he wants to settle down. Finally pray hard about it, God will direct you.

Let me make it simple for you. DO NOT ENGAGE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM UNTIL YOU ARE 101% SURE HE IS A FREE MAN.If you attempt to date him on the side you may become the Other Woman suffering,believing he will leave her for you. Right now his emotions, what is going on between him and his GF is not your concern. You are your major concern not him. If he really wanted you he would have quietly left the GF. This game he wants to play with you is not healthy for you,the GF and him. Let him go sort himself out and if you are still available just should in case his rship with GF does not work out then engage.


Do not make him leave his GF just tell him NO you like to be the "IT" girl. You are sorry you really like him too bla bla bla bla but you can't sell yourself short just to help him fulfill his dream. There are many single men in the world don't be scared A man won't find you. He is not the last ship you don't have to get on this ship. Don't panic don't be afraid of being alone its just a phase in life.

NEVER PLAY THE SIDE CHICK ALWAYS ALWAYS BE NO.1 if you love yourself.

Talking: If you think he is worth fighting for, then do so, else back out! Besides, why did ur 'shakara' end all of a sudden? All this story wouldn't have been if u hadn't 'shut him down' like u said. Just saying

I bet she suddenly discovered the guy is now rich.

I understand ur plight. Well if he likes you enough, he'd leave the other girl to date you on a serious level.
But Something tells me dat his statement about not been sure of his relationship with the other girl smells of deceit for you. I think he's serious with dat gurl but wants you to think otherwise so you'll easily fall for him, in which case he'll be able to get down with you..you know wat i mean.
But then it could really mean he's not truly sure..which indicates he doesn't really love her as such. If you really love dis guy and you think he's worth it, then go for it without been pushy and desperate. Make yourself charming in every sense of the word. If he's gon be yours, then he's def gon be yours.
And pls note, don't accept to be the second girl or 'other girl'. Its either only you or not.

Eeehnnn, kai your guy sound like a player warning you in advance, should he dumped you later you wont acussed him of 2 timming you. . walk on bye please. You cant take him serious he is not responsible.

tpacalipse: I bet she suddenly discovered the guy is now rich.

eyah!I am sorry you've been meeting the wrong girls, not every girl is a gold digger you know. @

MRbrownJAY: @OP
some guy has been in a three yr r/ship with a woman, and you are still believing that they are not serious?!

here is a clue: if he doesnt want to break up with her to be with you, then you are definitely NOT WORTHY to him.

. it's not a 3 years relationship, it's a less than a year relationship.

Thank you all for the advise.I've decided not to date him but remain friends with him. if it's meant to be,so be it.

@OP. you need to be more careful at this point. Its possible he likes you and want to be real serious with you , You should also understand no man single o, every man you see must have a serous girl or a bed mate, bed-mate in the sense that he is just having fun wen sex direst comes up,

Basically, You should give him a try,,but not letting him bed you until your r convince he really loves you. You should never push him to drop his girlfriend .Ask him questions

1,why he likes you and why he doesn't want is present girl friend