He is not the man you use to know, something has happened to his commitment to you,he has hurt you so many times, cheated on you, and done things that are not pardonable by you. But please don't give up on that man. Will you rather abandon him and let another person take your glory? Will you allow him to be at the mercy of another person that does not understand his history better than you? Will you allow another to care less and make him more vulnerable? How about the little spark his presence create in your heart? What about his touch, warm embrace, his care and understanding that has made him your man all this while? Think about that special moment that you told him till death do us part, you will be my hubby forever. What about the kids that you both have? What about the bond this little angels create in your world? What about the vision and dream you share together? Will you allow all these to go to the wind? Will you allow a mistake of the moment destroy your happiness of a life time? Will you allow the enemy outside to break the cord that binds you together? Please don't give up on that man. I know that some where in your heart, he holds a larger part of it. Give him another chance. Pray for him always and know that only on your kneels can you change him to be what you want him to be. A happy home without stress is a possibility, you can make it happen dear. Don't give up on that man

as if they would ever listen

@Kolinz, I believe that they will listen. The rate of divorce and things happening in marriages in our generation is alarming. we need to understand that the fight is not about the husband and wife, but the next generation. Its well my brother

And what of giving up on that woman,or is that a taboo,,,because one of my close friend who likes to flirt around with uni girls,was talking with me one day and i asked him,guy what if your wife is flirting around the same way what would u? and his said,i will kill her and burry her alive,,,,,well i was speechless. Go figure

sokoanugwa: @Kolinz, I believe that they will listen. The rate of divorce and things happening in marriages in our generation is alarming.

And the rate of divorce is the fault of the woman for not spending her life on her knees praying ba? It has nothing to do with this minor tidbit below:

He is not the man you use to know, something has happened to his commitment to you,he has hurt you so many times, cheated on you, and done things that are not pardonable by you

Not so? Okay, got it.

My dear prayer is the ans. Nice one

lmaooo, una dey craze. what about the women who left physically abusive men. The men got married to someone else and are beating their wives like rag. What did she lose? The other woman truly received a lot of glory. Work on improving yourself. Acknowledge you have faults and change. Dont make excuses and blame someone else for your shortcomings. You are not a child, there is no excuse. Treat others how you want to be treated and maybe then you can get some consideration.

What about the man consciously deciding to change and be a better man? what about him protecting his wife and children emotionally before he loses everything he has worked for.? What about the man getting on his knees and asking God to make him a better man for his wife, his children and society at large?

Why is it his woman's job to raise him up to be a better man? Shouldn't his mother have done the world this favor?

Since the man is so confused, does not know what a marriage entails, what stops him from learning? he is not helpless you know there are so many materials out there that he can read and learn from. Christians and Muslims all have their holy books he can start from there.

Men are designed to be leaders.Leaders learn. Some leaders are born, many learn from books and other achievers how to be better people. Women are designed to be helpers not leaders in a marriage. Have you not noticed most times when a woman becomes the leader in the home the man resents her? It takes two to tango, the woman is not the one to do the job to make a marriage work. All hands should be on deck. Women are the weaker vessel they need your protection-physically,emotionally,spiritually,materially. A man should aim consciously at all times to be the leader in his family not leave his family to law of chances. The divorce rate will continue to soar until men learn to love the wives in their lives.

Women are simply learning from their leaders what they are working so hard to teach them.

The op is misguided. A man who bullies his wife, cheats on her countless times, infecting her with diseases, treats her like sht.. That same man still want the her to hang in there ... And change him?... When we all know a man cannot be changed from his ways , except after horrible consequences occur, will he turn into a new leaf.. Except u want him to say your a controlling btch . Mothers and fathers should train their sons to be a responsible man from childhood... Not the wife.. It takes two to make it work and stand strong, with a united foundation.
So, op ....don't treat women or pple like shit and expect them to love unconditionally.. Women r humans not super beings .

andromida: What about the man consciously deciding to change and be a better man? what about him protecting his wife and children emotionally before he loses everything he has worked for.? What about the man getting on his knees and asking God to make him a better man for his wife, his children and society at large?

Why is it his woman's job to raise him up to be a better man? Shouldn't his mother have done the world this favor?

Since the man is so confused, does not know what a marriage entails, what stops him from learning?

The divorce rate will continue to soar until men learn to love the wives in their lives.

God bless you my sister. If one wants to provide generic education about prevention of divorce in the setting of a bum husband, should your efforts not be concentrated on the root cause instead of prescribing medicine after death?

ileobatojo:

God bless you my sister. If one wants to provide generic education about prevention of divorce in the setting of a bum husband, should your efforts not be concentrated on the root cause instead of prescribing medicine after death?

The way some men think is simply beyond me. I don't know what they think they are doing on earth,they have so much exppectations from women and ask the woman to expect little or nothing from them.

I begin to wonder what they think they should bring to the marital table.

A sufferhead wife is a good wife. For them a woman should endure her marriage. Afterall she is lucky sef when so many women are crying on the street for husband.

andromida:

I begin to wonder what they think they should bring to the marital table.

Apparently, just a wallet and a p.enis.

OP I understand your write up cos MEN are mostly knuckleheads in relationships/ marriages .... however the only burden that breaks the camel's back is physically abusive men , that I will not advice my enemy to endure women are not welded to suffer in marriages .... there's more to life than a miserable marriage.
As to not giving up , well marriage in my own perspective is conditional, both parties should be ready to make it work ( mutual respect) or else don't bother tying the knot.

I need a DAMN REPELLANT

ileobatojo:

And the rate of divorce is the fault of the woman for not spending her life on her knees praying ba? It has nothing to do with this minor tidbit below:





Not so? Okay, got it.

andromida: What about the man consciously deciding to change and be a better man? what about him protecting his wife and children emotionally before he loses everything he has worked for.? What about the man getting on his knees and asking God to make him a better man for his wife, his children and society at large?

Why is it his woman's job to raise him up to be a better man? Shouldn't his mother have done the world this favor?

Since the man is so confused, does not know what a marriage entails, what stops him from learning? he is not helpless you know there are so many materials out there that he can read and learn from. Christians and Muslims all have their holy books he can start from there.

Men are designed to be leaders.Leaders learn. Some leaders are born, many learn from books and other achievers how to be better people. Women are designed to be helpers not leaders in a marriage. Have you not noticed most times when a woman becomes the leader in the home the man resents her? It takes two to tango, the woman is not the one to do the job to make a marriage work. All hands should be on deck. Women are the eweaker vessel they need your protection-physically,emotionally,spiritually,materially. A man should aim consciously at all times to be the leader in his family not leave his family to law of chances. The divorce rate will continue to soar until men learn to love the wives in their lives.

Women are simply learning from their leaders what they are working so hard to teach them.

Very Brilliant piece.

ileobatojo:

Apparently, just a wallet and a p.enis.

Any wonder....... Grotesque mind and tongue

$25 million:
Any wonder....... Grosteque mind and tongue

And who is this attention seeker?

@op, you are funny o........talking about oath........didnt d man also take oath, and why must it be only women that must keep to their oath?
Prayer! Prayer! Prayer!
Prayer is good, but can men pray for their cheating wives? If not, why must it be women who must always pray for their cheating husbands.
"Can two walk together, except they agree"?
"Do unto others what you want them do unto you".
"It takes two to tangle".
"Respect is reciprocal".
"Action and reaction are equal and opposite".
Op, Do you understand all these words in a marriage, it means two pple are involved and not one person.
Marriage is a relationship btwn a man and a woman.......op, d way you described man in this your write-up depicts a boy, who never knew anything about marriage b4 venturing into it, ie your description looks like a relationship between a woman and a boy.
Op, your write-up is an insults to the real men, who understand what marriage is to them b4 going into it and an indulgence for "boys" who accidentally found themselves in a marital union, i think you really need to say d truth here........it takes two to tangle, if a party is not perfoming as expected in a marriage, truth be told, it will have adverse effect on d marriage and even d family, so, instead of indulging d "boys", tell them d truth, men should stop abusing women emotionally and physically, they should stop running women mad. They should stop cheating on their wives, they should stop doing what they can not accept to their wives. They should behave like men that they are, they should accord d respect that is due to their women to them, only then the marital union can be sacred and sanity will remain in that marriage.



Thank God im in marriage with a man who understand what marriage is all about and not a boy who always want to be indulged.
May God help us all.

greatgod2012: @op, you are funny o........talking about oath........didnt d man also take oath, and why must it be only women that must keep to their oath?
Prayer! Prayer! Prayer!
Prayer is good, but can men pray for their cheating wives? If not, why must it be women who must always pray for their cheating husbands.
"Can two walk together, except they agree"?
"Do unto others what you want them do unto you".
"It takes two to tangle".
"Respect is reciprocal".
"Action and reaction are equal and opposite".
Op, Do you understand all these words in a marriage, it means two pple are involved and not one person.
Marriage is a relationship btwn a man and a woman.......op, d way you described man in this your write-up depicts a boy, who never knew anything about marriage b4 venturing into it, ie your description looks like a relationship between a woman and a boy.
Op, your write-up is an insults to the real men, who understand what marriage is to them b4 going into it and an indulgence for "boys" who accidentally found themselves in a marital union, i think you really need to say d truth here........it takes two to tangle, if a party is not perfoming as expected in a marriage, truth be told, it will have adverse effect on d marriage and even d family, so, instead of indulging d "boys", tell them d truth, men should stop abusing women emotionally and physically, they should stop running women mad. They should stop cheating on their wives, they should stop doing what they can not accept to their wives. They should behave like men that they are, they should accord d respect that is due to their women to them, only then the marital union can be sacred and sanity will remain in that marriage.



Thank God im in marriage with a man who understand what marriage is all about and not a boy who always want to be indulged.
May God help us all.

You have spoken well. Physical and verbal abuse is a capital NO NO. Pick one of these that most suits you in this example. A woman is edgy, nags, intolerant, rants and tough on any slight mistake her hubby makes. What will be your expected reaction from him. 1. Physical abuse 2. Verbal abuse 3. Ignoring by keeping a lenghty malice. 4. Constantly apologise in public and in private regardless. 5. Divorce and move to woman 2. Just pick one without modifying I'm trying to analyse sumtin

$25 million:
You have spoken well. Physical and verbal abuse is a capital NO NO. Pick one of these that most suits you in this example. A woman is edgy, nags, intolerant, rants and tough on any slight mistake her hubby makes. What will be your expected reaction from him. 1. Physical abuse 2. Verbal abuse 3. Ignoring by keeping a lenghty malice. 4. Constantly apologise in public and in private regardless. Just pick one without modifying I'm trying to analyse sumtin

sorry dude, my answer is not in any of your collections.
Did you see a part in my post where i said "when a party refuse to play his/her roles as expected"
did u also see it takes two to tango..........all these depicts that the two parties must know what they are doing, one party mustnt be indulged, a woman who is edgy, who rants, nags, intolerant.....etc, may as well be referred to as a girl who doesnt know or understand what marriage is all about.
To answer your question, effective communication is d key, let d husband feel free to let his wife knows, each time she errs, and vice-versa, without shouting on each other, without being defensive.
It is only when both parties respect d oath btwn them, and they both perform their roles as expected of them that they can both enjoy d best of their marriage.
May God help us all.

greatgod2012:


sorry dude, my answer is not in any of your collections.
Did you see a part in my post where i said "when a party refuse to play his/her roles as expected"
did u also see it takes two to tango..........all these depicts that the two parties must know what they are doing, one party mustnt be indulged, a woman who is edgy, who rants, nags, intolerant.....etc, may as well be referred to as a girl who doesnt know or understand what marriage is all about.
To answer your question, effective communication is d key, let d husband feel free to let his wife knows, each time she errs, and vice-versa, without shouting on each other, without being defensive.
It is only when both parties respect d oath btwn them, and they both perform their roles as expected of them that they can both enjoy d best of their marriage.
May God help us all.

it was an exclusive example that needed you choose from the options without the luxury of modifying. Not necessarily relating to your post albeit cheers.

A man with issues should work on them and stop expecting others to put up with his BS. There is no enemy outside, just the one within him....

Your writeup is in line with what my ex told me 2 years ago when I wanted to quit due to his bad attitude and character.
'A woman should be patient and pray for her man. It is the patient woman that would inherit the earth. Don't allow another woman to take the glory of all we've achieved'.

When the sweet words wouldn't work, he informed me there were millions of girls out there and off he went.

Which makes me wonder why he dug up my bestie's number and virtually cried, begging her to talk to me to reconsider him (just this morning). Saying how he has dated a litany of girls but none took him like I did (interesting!).
None truly loves him (na so e bad reach?).

I was the one who was there for him when he was nothing (na today? Me I don accept say, not all investments yield dividends8)).

He's a changed man (so you can even change after alienating everybody who cared about you? Why didn't you wait for my prayers before changing?).

And that he doesn't know what came over him back then.
(Well, can't risk coming back and then 'that thing' would come over you again, abi?)

So you men better clean up your act. Every woman has a breaking point.

I think the OP re-echoes what some marriages entail. This could serve as an encouragement for women in abusive marriages to help their husbands change and not give up on them.
Patience
Tolerance
Endurance ... good things
but, "certain" boundaries should not be crossed. I think its also insulting to ask anyone, man or woman to endure a whole lot of recurring BS.

@ OP, the question is how long can one endure without being deluded because some people may never change?

lola.luv:
A man with issues should work on them and stop expecting others to put up with his BS. There is no enemy outside, just the one within him....

Your writeup is in line with what my ex told me 2 years ago when I wanted to quit due to his bad attitude and character.
'A woman should be patient and pray for her man. It is the patient woman that would inherit the earth. Don't allow another woman to take the glory of all we've achieved'.

When the sweet words wouldn't work, he informed me there were millions of girls out there and off he went.

Which makes me wonder why he dug up my bestie's number and virtually cried, begging her to talk to me to reconsider him (just this morning). Saying how he has dated a litany of girls but none took him like I did (interesting!).
None truly loves him (na so e bad reach?).

I was the one who was there for him when he was nothing (na today? Me I don accept say, not all investments yield dividends8)).

He's a changed man (so you can even change after alienating everybody who cared about you? Why didn't you wait for my prayers before changing?).

And that he doesn't know what came over him back then.
(Well, can't risk coming back and then 'that thing' would come over you again, abi?)

So you men better clean up your act. Every woman has a breaking point.

Madam your ex was and is not a MAN but a little BOY. REAL men can identify and appreciate a tolerant, loving and patient woman. The word REAL in this context does not have respect for age.

@ Lola.luv, i understand your point and am praying for you right now that God will really strength you and cause you to recover all that you have lost. Can we really talk? you can reach me on sunnytex1@yahoo.com Thanks

$25 million:
Madam your ex was and is not a MAN but a little BOY. REAL men can identify and appreciate a tolerant, loving and patient woman. The word REAL in this context does not have respect for age.

I'm not even interested in the diagnosis of his condition. I will not be a matyr for anyone in this one life I have to live. Men should clean up their act. The burden of keeping a relationship intact shouldn't be on the frail shoulders of the woman alone....

sokoanugwa: @ Lola.luv, i understand your point and am praying for you right now that God will really strength you and cause you to recover all that you have lost. Can we really talk? you can reach me on sunnytex1@yahoo.com Thanks

If anything, I have gained everything by walking out. I can count about 5 major achievements that have been added to my person, while he was busy with his million girls.

Won't be on yahoo, the box doesn't open.

For me personally, there are better uses for my prayers. Like praying for my family who know the true meaning of love etc.

And I'm with a guy who knows he is responsible for his own actions and who everyday strives to live right and to do right by me. A man of integrity who doesn't drink or smoke or womanise.
Who doesn't hurt his partner intentionally, expecting to be forgiven as the man.

Who holds dear values that most men have thrown away.
I will say it again. I have gained everything!

If anything, I have gained everything by walking out. I can count about 5 major achievements that have been added to my person, while he was busy with his million girls.

Won't be on yahoo, the box doesn't open.

For me personally, there are better uses for my prayers. Like praying for my family who know the true meaning of love etc.

@ Lola.luv, is good to know that you have regain all and thanks for not giving up on yourself. I am proud of you and know that you will continue to win

lola.luv:


If anything, I have gained everything by walking out. I can count about 5 major achievements that have been added to my person, while he was busy with his million girls.

Won't be on yahoo, the box doesn't open.

For me personally, there are better uses for my prayers. Like praying for my family who know the true meaning of love etc.

And I'm with a guy who knows he is responsible for his own actions and who everyday strives to live right and to do right by me. A man of integrity who doesn't drink or smoke or womanise.
Who doesn't hurt his partner intentionally, expecting to be forgiven as the man.

Who holds dear values that most men have thrown away.
I will say it again. I have gained everything!

thank God for you, its because you know your worth......im so happy for you......eni to ba moyi wura lan ta fun.....God bless you more.