Socializing in Abuja is a unique experience. It has a close knit small town feel where everyone knows everyone. That is depending on what type of circle you socialize in. However, within these collective experiences we have all had the displeasure of meeting a variety of mean and unpleasant people.

An encounter with these kinds of people only means one thing – misery. Sometimes they might be family members, friends or acquaintances who may have an irrational or sometimes rational vendetta against you. Below we list a few of these types of people who leave a bad taste in the mouth.

The Abuja Snob

There are a plethora of Abuja snobs who come with a snooty sense of entitlement. Snobs are generally those who imagine that they are better and smarter than others and therefore relish looking down on other people they deem as not their equals. The Abuja snob is usually linked to the government elite in some way, the very rich, or is among the first set of people to live in the ‘IT’ city. These snobs have a somewhat overrated sense of self and are typically very arrogant.

How to deal with them: Don’t pay attention to them but don’t descend to their level of arrogance or rudeness but make them realize they are not as important as they delude themselves into thinking.

The Malicious Abuja Liar

Beware of the Malicious Abuja liar! Always look upon everything they say with a suspicious side eye especially if their name is unbelievably "Chloe" or "Beyonce". That’s not to say that the Malicious Abuja liar is typically female. Many of these liars are male. Ask them what they do for a living and many will say the ambiguous "business" or "contracts" and name drop the former FCT minister or the president himself. They may look as innocent as lambs and may sit as quietly as a cherub listening to your every word. Don't be deceived by the disguise. The Malicious Abuja liar is soaking in every little bit of information you throw at them, to cut and paste and pepper for later transmission. They are simply rumor mongers, false witnesses or petty gossips who can’t help but make up things about other people in order to tarnish their image.

How to deal with them: Avoid them, give them no access to your private life and tell them off whenever they try to get close. Of course they must be made to realize that anything they tell you can only be believed if someone credible agrees with it.

The Back Stabbing Bujian

The Back Stabbing Bujian is as cunning as a snake. Usually, this back stabber patiently waits for the right time to strike you with their poisonous venom. They may be the worst among the unpleasant lot. They pretend to love you and would often do a lot to convince you to trust them but deep down, they have a very strong desire to hurt you and are looking for a chance to do it without you ever knowing. People who back bite, gossip or have a low affinity for friends are usually backstabbers.

How to deal with them: Keep them at arms length, don’t ever share your problems with them or grant them access to your private life.

The Abuja Hater

Haters are as natural occurring in Abuja as fuel scarcity. The Abuja Hater is extremely insecure and selfish. Tell them about your latest success and watch them visibly recoil with bitterness. Their hatred comes from the fact that they are aware of their own limited capacity to excel and the thought of others accomplishing what they can never achieve hurts them badly. So rather than work on improving themselves which is the reasonable thing to do, they prefer to channel their energy wishing and praying for your failure and downfall.

How to deal with them: Try to avoid them all together because haters usually become backstabbers and malicious liars eventually. Also make sure you always pray against the bad intent of the Abuja Hater.

The Abuja Player

In 2013, the player may seem like a somewhat outdated 90’s concept like Montell Jordan’s funky R&B. However this concept is still very much virile in urban jungles around the world. Abuja is a haven for the Player who sees relationships with the opposite sex as mere sport. Games of the heart are played with a singular goal, to gratify themselves and break as many hearts along the way. For the guys, their motive is usually lust while women who are players typically do so for money.

How to deal with them: The best way to treat an Abuja player is to make him or her go on a wild goose chase – let them lavish you with attention, but don’t give them what they want. If you don’t have the time for playing the players games, avoid them at all cost!