I love threads like this, free of- insults and abuses, instead, every contributor makes his or her points in a matured way, which gives room for readers to read and learn.

Kudos @initiator of the thread.

Meanwhile, modern media and fast-adoption of western culture and lifestyles haven't benefited the Nigerian and African marriage and family system in general.

Media (TV, movies, music, magazines, and now internet) are the major things that shape every society, and they have shaped our society wrongly and we need to retrace our routes back.

So to say, the ladies aren't being realistic with the present national economy situation- they have big expectation when it comes to who they see as their dream man (using media standard to rate their dream man).

I love what some posters already said here- most ladies are not truly God-fearing, they are only pretending for their best reasons. Most claim to want good and God-fearing men, but deep down their hearts, that good and God-fearing man means just a man who is well financially buoyant, other qualities are negligible.

Most live mirror life- fake life, so when a guy decide to embark on a committed romantic journey with them, he ends up discovering a lot of loopholes and fakery and pretence in her, and this further discourages guys to even desire to marry cos stories fly faster than light nowadays with social network technologies.

Any realistic, good and focused lady can never be single till 35 except she intentionally decided to and happy about it.

@Dailynews,am gonna shock u by stating 4 more reasons why a realistic,good and focused single will remain single at that age.
1.Men who came into her life belive she is good enough to be dated but not enough to go to the altar with i.e she has been jilted by men.
2.She lost the love of her life to the cold hand of death and she couldn't let go on time.
3.A single mother who most single men don't want to get married to becos they see them as loose.
4.Believe me,there are some women who has never been ask for a date by single men but married men due to their size,finance....

I hope u now understand the word 'programmed'.There are more than 30m women in Nigerian and I can bet my life that none of u will get to meet 1 percent in ur lifetimes so why the statement 'Nigerian girls are materialistic'.
I would have to love to ask what materialistic means but not for this thread.

Goodevening Luvmijeje, I want us to look at your points one after the other.

First, I sometimes feel pity for women of today, u know y? The society expect so much from them despite the negative exposures. That is y I will always advice every young girl now to live a good life, by all means, live a honest n decent life becos it pays no matter what.

If being good as a girl fail to attract the right guys to u, believe me it will get u a wonderful male recommendation from people within, it works so well, most men married their wife via recommendation.

Now, your No1 point. She attracted the wrong guys or the guys came in, saw a different life, noticed she can only be a girlfriend and not a wife- most girls are perfect girlfriend but can never be good wife. A good wife is not a feminist, she understand nature and knows that a woman has a role and a man has his own role, she doesn't try to be the man to show she is educated or financially empowered.

Your Point No. 2, she is to be blamed becos a past is a past, ladies should learn to forget their past and face their present a future. See, yesterday is something u can never have, tomorrow is something u may have, today is something u have, make today your best.

No. 3, u are right, majority of single guys wouldn't want to marry a been-to.

No. 4, that lady has issue. She is either- harsh, always acting up, hardly smile, not humble, don't greet, frowns a lot, and carries herself too big. It takes a good playboy to approach a lady with the aforementioned qualities. Only playboys win such women and married men who have overflowing confidence out of several experience.

Again, such lady maybe located in the wrong environment and goes to the wrong places and also have the wrong clique of female friends.

Note: I am not against any girl being materialistic of course we all love money, but ladies should try and be realistic with the present economy even if the guy is a billionaire, no wise man who worked for his money loves to throw money on women, except when he is on a bad mission to achieve sth quick and run! But ladies won't learn, all men cherish a conservative woman.

Brb

Ibo high bride price
Seriously some of those Ibo babes suppose don vex give dia fada.

2buff: Ibo high bride price
Seriously some of those Ibo babes suppose don vex give dia fada.

that's funny, but I doubt that wud stop a man from marrying a woman that truly meets his needs. Most guys wudnt mind paying a million if the lady worths it, I'm sure of that.

Meanwhile, we all shud knw d boundary we have set around us. For instance, I knw I have put certain boundaries around that wudnt allow me meet certain girls, n I cnt complain cos that's wot I caused myself.

Same way, most ladies have ignorantly put a big boundary around them that makes it impossible for normal young single guys to reach to them for frndship/love. Some place themselves so high that no real man (rich or poor) who isn't a playboy and a professional womanizer can break in. So the blame shud go to d lady who over-hyped herself to her detriment.

I believe every girl have once in her life met her dream man or can get him but most chase them away ignorantly or intentionally to regret later later. Hardly do men get wooed, but even ugly girls get wooed by all class of guys, so its easier for a girl to screen n make choice if she is realistic n focused than for a man to find a partner.

The only time men become the heroes is when its time for marriage decision, but in early life, women run the world, so let them run it well at that time n get themselves their dream man becos its difficult once that period is over.

Daily news good evening too,do u know what I sucessful did,I 'deprogrammed' ur mind from thinking from the materialistic point of view alone even as I disagree with u that women alone are to be blamed but that argument is for another day.
Pls and pls,even if all the the women u ve met are materialistic,lets try to be balanced in our views and in writing our opinion.

Y I most times feel like blaming ladies for their relationship failures is this:

Come on, let's face the reality here, women are the recruitment officers here for Christ's sake. They sit n guys send in their cvs from diff class and background n they screen n hire the one that suites them most. But guys have to keep submitting cvs in diff firms; both in their dream firms n in the ones they dnt even like just to get hired at least. And most often guys get hired by firms (girls) they dnt really cherish cos d ones they probably cherish have high demands of- 10yrs cognate experience, dis degree n dat, etc, which majority of guys dnt even have n some even go as far as faking certificates n personality just to get hired, can't u see?

Pity men pls...they only time men have d 80 to 90% power to decide their romantic fate is wen its time to marry. So ladies shud stop complainin that guys are bad cos they select the guys they decided to date after screening out so many other guys, so y shud they complain?

I know my logic may not be 100% right but women enjoy a lot of immunity on this, so let them use it wisely n save themselves all these heartbreaks, being jilted, dumping, etc.

Sometimes I wonder- if I were a female, men wud have fought n even compete to marry me. And I mean wonderful men cos even as a male, I am on top of my game yes...so y shud a lady be single at 35yrs no committed stuff? Something must be wrong somewhere, let's be honest. Sorry to sound harsh, but let her look within her, sth isn't ryt, aside situation of death of her fiancee, etc.

luvmijeje: Daily news good evening too,do u know what I sucessful did,I 'deprogrammed' ur mind from thinking from the materialistic point of view alone even as I disagree with u that women alone are to be blamed but that argument is for another day.
Pls and pls,even if all the the women u ve met are materialistic,lets try to be balanced in our views and in writing our opinion.

Ok dear, but I dnt really have issues with any kind of woman cos I am....just trying to assist those who wishes to learn, by letting them knw wot guys think of them. I knw wot I want in a woman, n I can get it wenever I feel I am ready to embark on d journey. I can handle any kind of lady- materialistic or not if I chose to. So wen it comes to women, I got all it takes to get whichever I want if only I decide to try. So I'm nt complainin, dnt need to.

Maybe u dnt knw, I blog n write abt relationship, someday u will read my books. And pls am nt siding for guys cos all ladies by default ought to knw that men generally are cunning, most dnt come to u for good; they see women as a reward for their hardwork n for relaxation, majority dnt take relationship too serious until they r ready to marry too bad, but women ought to have known this n preserve themselves

Isaiah 4:1 Check it

DailyNews: Sometimes I wonder- if I were a female, men wud have fought n even compete to marry me. And I mean wonderful men cos even as a male, I am on top of my game

Oga DailyNews na Gay thought be that o.......

Not enough real men. Theres a crisis called loss of masculinity. Men have become quite feminised especially in the West. When men begin to address his call to leadership and exampleship as clearly stated in Gods Word he will be motivated towards marriage. He knows it is a risk but hes willing to take it because hes a real man.

Here in the UK same thing has transpired. Theres almost a role reversal here. Men do not know what being a man is all about because Fathers are not training there boys but leaving them to Mummy.

My two kobo

DailyNews. I think you feel way too strongly about this female superiority thing.
It's really not that bad and fairly balanced IMO. As a man, have natural flow and swag and you will not have any issues.

As a girl, get your looks and smells on point and you won't have any issue.
Girl wahala in fact pass guy own.
Work is required on both parties.

I see some girls all dolled up...and then I see them after they have woken up.
The difference is clear, and initial illusion is something that must have taken LOTS of work...every darn day.

'Exposure'. 'Enlightenment', and worst of all, unrealistic expectations. It begins and stops here. Nothing more. The sad thing is that it would get even worse.

The number of unmarried old 'girls' are far less than the number of unnecessarily disgruntled married ones that would be divorced in the nearest future. Most of these people are totally 'unmarryable', for tooo many reasons, to be honest.

How this one take concern me??

DailyNews: And pls am nt siding for guys cos all ladies by default ought to knw that men generally are cunning, most dnt come to u for good; they see women as a reward for their hardwork n for relaxation, majority dnt take relationship too serious until they r ready to marry too bad, but women ought to have known this n preserve themselves

@bolded... U re so right... Nkem Owoh sang a song "love me when I am poor, not when I am rich".. I keep saying this.. Most Nigerian girls love money more than any other thing... They don't believe in starting small... They wanna blow big @ once.. They go for guys with money, they got played, they complain that "all guys are the same"....

Add genotype and no social life.I know lots of morally grounded good single ladies like that,for them life goes on they don't sit and cry.seeing this thread my heart goes out to them,they obviously have no love from society.

Lastly add failure to take responsibilty that abounds with the male folks castigating blames and pointing fingers.

One mans trash is anothers treasure,to thine own self be true.

The reason is simple...JOBS!


All over the world when women work they get married later, have kids later, and have less children.

This benefits everyone in society and should be celebrated.

bigx: Isaiah 4:1 Check it

Here is it

The reason for the delay is squarely an issue of empowerment.Most ladies are more empowered than the men.A lot of men wish to marry ladies that are matured but no money to finance the family.a lot lot of chicks are highly placed than men

i know a lady who had some suitors but she kept putting them hold with her supposed career...some put their career before a good man, they wanna "accomplish" before marriage but when u look back in those days our women didnt put education or career before their suitors as long as the man could pay the dowry and take care of her she married him and assisted her husband in his business.like somebody said they need re-orientation from the ways of the world

Lot of things, some ladies think gettin married is a stress, they still believe in high-pitched life....datin all sorta guys, sme are prostitutes and wen deir life style takes over them, they don't give a damn about marriage, instead they will get a yung guy of 19-25 and use dem as a camouflage.,and they re sme ladies that gives and commit most of their time to work! Mostly civil servants, they believe in hustling and whatever, while sme got married and later divorced....mmmmmmmmmh, well they are sme we call them homosexual, they are highly heterophobic, they are sme, they see marriage as bondage, they don't want anythng dat wil deter deir movement...ÀƊƊ YOURS

Fhemmmy:

Cos now most men are no more going for women with no career.
Cos most women are no more into being an housewife
Cos some men are scared of ready made women
Cos some women are only looking for some quality that are found in barbie dolls

I like the above lots it true...

intrepid: Westernization and especially influence of the media has helped to create this.Also I think that the long years spent in sch also contributes to delayed marriage....But I'LL LIKE TO STATE THAT EVERYONE likes a happy home,nice and caring husband and good children.Nothing on earth replaces this but many dont eventually have it...This singlemess can be curbed by re-orientation and upholding of our culture.

reorientation to what please ? how about a reorientation of the men

frostbyte: It is 99% self inflicted and please dont pity them.

you are nt far from d truth. Some are choosy,materialistic &unrealistic.d fact is many dt remain single is as a result of their undoing.

Their stu.pi.dity

There are probably more 30+ single men

OP....

As women become more educated, more empowered, they can start making more career choices. Not just let be married and have kids before am 30 because society says so. I don't think it's necessary that people marry just for the sake of it. The worlds over populated as it is.

I couldn't help but notice that NL ladies are avoiding this thread like a plague

lol