thanks itsModella.

Thanks MODs. I appreciate.

A question for everybody,

Do you start a relationship based on genotype? Imagine meeting a girl and the first question you ask her is her genotype?

I have witness a real life situation where the bride refused to show up for her marriage because she is AS and the groom is AS too. She got to know 3 weeks before the marriage date and when she told the groom that the marriage is off, the guy thought she was joking. Only for her not to show up on her marriage day.

The point is marriage is all about risk. The probability of successful marriage is 20%. For the probability to be higher and for couples to have a successful marriage, then both the party have to sacrifice to make the marriage work. So, marriage is all about taking risk.

My personal view is that if you dont want to take a risk by marrying an AS then there are other aspect of the relationship that you will not take risk on. The probability of 2 AS's having a child with SCD is 25% out of 4 kids. The child with SCD can be the 1st, 2nd,4th and 3rd kids. Have you ever thought about having 3 kids with no SCD child if you are lucky (it has happen before - 2 AS's marrying each other and they dont have any SCD kids). It a risk.

How about 2 AA's having kids with gene / DNA disorder. It can happen to anyone. How will you test against that? Or child with birth defect. How will you prevent that? How about 2 AA's having kids that turn out to wayward. I have seen parent curse the day they gave birth to some kids and parent saying that its better not to have kids than have bad ones.

Life is all about risk. The man or the woman that you rejected based on genotype might be the person that will bring happiness into your life and you achieving your aim in life.

I am AA but genotype is not a determining factor for me when i want to get married. I am a risk taker.

jaidopor: A question for everybody,

Do you start a relationship based on genotype? Imagine meeting a girl and the first question you ask her is her genotype?

I have witness a real life situation where the bride refused to show up for her marriage because she is AS and the groom is AS too. She got to know 3 weeks before the marriage date and when she told the groom that the marriage is off, the guy thought she was joking. Only for her not to show up on her marriage day.

The point is marriage is all about risk. The probability of successful marriage is 20%. For the probability to be higher and for couples to have a successful marriage, then both the party have to sacrifice to make the marriage work. So, marriage is all about taking risk.

My personal view is that if you dont want to take a risk by marrying an AS then there are other aspect of the relationship that you will not take risk on. The probability of 2 AS's having a child with SCD is 25% out of 4 kids. The child with SCD can be the 1st, 2nd,4th and 3rd kids. Have you ever thought about having 3 kids with no SCD child if you are lucky (it has happen before - 2 AS's marrying each other and they dont have any SCD kids). It a risk.

How about 2 AA's having kids with gene / DNA disorder. It can happen to anyone. How will you test against that? Or child with birth defect. How will you prevent that? How about 2 AA's having kids that turn out to wayward. I have seen parent curse the day they gave birth to some kids and parent saying that its better not to have kids than have bad ones.

Life is all about risk. The man or the woman that you rejected based on genotype might be the person that will bring happiness into your life and you achieving your aim in life.

I am AA but genotype is not a determining factor for me when i want to get married. I am a risk taker.

Am with U bro,the thing is we are scared of death @ the long run, do pple without SCD doesn't die at tender age.

Abali1: This thread is born out of the desire to get people's opinion concerning those of us living with SS. Below is a draft questionnaire I intend distributing to people, in the course of researching Sickle Cell Disease (SCD).

QUESTIONNAIRE:

1) Did your parents do genotype testing before they got married?

2) If not, do you consider yourself 'lucky' to have escaped being born a SS?

3) Would you categorise Sickle Cell as a terminal illness alongside Cancer or HIV/AIDS?

4) With you knowledge of Sickle Cell disease, which genotype pairing do you think is the most compatible for someone with sickle cell to marry?

5) Do you think that with the right education and awareness of Sickle Cell disease, that someone living with Sickle cell can live a long, healthy and productive life?

6) In your estimation, how long do you think that a SS person can live? In other words what is the expected Life expectancy?
7) Can you marry someone living with Sickle Cell?

If NO, what are your reasons? (Please state a cogent/tenable reason)

9) Do you think a SS male can father a child?

10) Do think a SS female can carry a pregnancy to term?

11) Have you ever been in close association with a SS person?

12) If yes, do you consider them different from other people having AA or AS?

OP: I am a known sickler, I was born with and grew up though pain as a result of the regular crisis we often encounter. My parents got married 1970, none of them ever thought of or know anything called genotype testing then. We are thre that were born with SCD out of seven children, I'm the eldest and today the only surviving sickler in the family and I will be 41 years old later this year GOd willing.
Growing up with SCD was a very big challenge, I know the sleepless nights I and my late parents ve bn tru. I will tell you this, my late parents both died 2011 with three months apart. My parent have always thought I would die before them due to how severe my crisis have always been, to these attacks only comes late in the nights! I grew up seeing how my parents alway panick whenever I have these attacks.. So they lived with the thoughts that I could pass away any moment but I thank the Almighty God, I survived and I burried my parents and not the other way round.
Yes, Sicklers could have children, I am married with a very handsome boy who I named after my late father, I married a woman who's genotype is AA and our child has none of the complications that comes with sicklers cos he is AS!
There's a cure for SCD and it in Nigeria, a sickler can be cured tru stem cell transplant using bone marrows, but you can only be cured if you have siblings that are AA.. But unfurtunately, only sicklers that are 15 years and below can only be cured in Nigeria as at now. I got to know this after I spoke with the specialist doctor in UNIBEN, Dr. Bazuaye. He informed me that they will start adult procedure next year.
Lastly, female sickler can get pregnant as well give birth to babies!

jaidopor: A question for everybody,

Do you start a relationship based on genotype? Imagine meeting a girl and the first question you ask her is her genotype?


Life is all about risk. The man or the woman that you rejected based on genotype might be the person that will bring happiness into your life and you achieving your aim in life.

I am AA but genotype is not a determining factor for me when i want to get married. I am a risk taker.

Thank you. I like your opening question.
Having experienced so many reltionship break ups myself based on genotype, I think the best option is just to open up to a potential partner in the first few weeks before things get heated up. But am sorry to say that even after opening up to some people and they agree to date you irrespective of genotype, when you people must have gone far along, you see parents, siblings, and friends discouraging the person.
In my case, it wasn't as if the girls do not like me, but family pressure always make them to bow out of the relationship.

So this thread is about, letting Parents, Siblings, Friends and well wishers to make their position known early on in the life of their "healthy" AA kids about going into a relationship with a SS person.
It's all about enlightment.
Thank you, for responding.

1) Did your parents do genotype testing before they got married? NO THEY DIDNT BUT BOTH ARE AA

2) If not, do you consider yourself 'lucky' to have escaped being born a SS? YES I AM LUCKY

3) Would you categorise Sickle Cell as a terminal illness alongside Cancer or HIV/AIDS? NO, ITS QUITE DIFFERENT,HIV IS CONTACTED,CANCER MIGHT BE CAUSED BY WHAT U ATE OR WHERE U ARE, BUT SCD IS FROM BIRTH

4) With you knowledge of Sickle Cell disease, which genotype pairing do you think is the most compatible for someone with sickle cell to marry? AA

5) Do you think that with the right education and awareness of Sickle Cell disease, that someone living with Sickle cell can live a long, healthy and productive life? THEY CAN LIVE A LONG AND HEALTHY LIFE WITH GOD BY THEIR SIDE.

6) In your estimation, how long do you think that a SS person can live? In other words what is the expected Life expectancy? WITH GOD, THEY CAN LIVE A LONGER DAN NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS.
7) Can you marry someone living with Sickle Cell? YES, I AM MARRIED TO ONE MYSELF. THANK GOD HE HARDLY FALLS SICK.

If NO, what are your reasons? (Please state a cogent/tenable reason) N/A

9) Do you think a SS male can father a child? YES I GOT PREGNANT THOUGH I MISCARRIED

10) Do think a SS female can carry a pregnancy to term? IT MIGHT BE COMPLICATED, BUT I HAVE A SISTER INLAW WHO IS MARRIED AND LONGING TO HAVE BABIES

11) Have you ever been in close association with a SS person? YES, MY HUSBAND.

12) If yes, do you consider them different from other people having AA or AS?
THEY ARE DIFFERENT IN A VERY POSITIVE WAY, THEY ARE VERY SMART AND INTELLIGENT AND THEY USUALLY DO WELL IN EVERYTHING THEY PUT THEIR MINDS INTO. APART FROM THAT, THEY ARE JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN BENGS. Hope these will help ur research.

mujiboy: Am with U bro,the thing is we are scared of death @ the long run, do pple without SCD doesn't die at tender age.

Many people don't look at things from that angle. What you will likely hear is that "it is better to marry someone whom you know is healthy, than getting married to someone who may suddenly die tomorrow".

Natural that is the way humans think. It has always been like that;
Poor vs Rich
White vs Black
Tall vs Short
Igbo vs Yoruba vs Hausa, and so on.
It's a vicious cycle out there.

Abali1:

Thank you. I like your opening question.
Having experienced so many reltionship break ups myself based on genotype, I think the best option is just to open up to a potential partner in the first few weeks before things get heated up. But am sorry to say that even after opening up to some people and they agree to date you irrespective of genotype, when you people must have gone far along, you see parents, siblings, and friends discouraging the person.
In my case, it wasn't as if the girls do not like me, but family pressure always make them to bow out of the relationship.

So this thread is about, letting Parents, Siblings, Friends and well wishers to make their position known early on in the life of their "healthy" AA kids about going into a relationship with a SS person.
It's all about enlightment.
Thank you, for responding.

Someone that allow others to make life decision for them during courtship will definitely invite relative ( and society) into his or her marriage latter on.
This is what i usually tell people. If you have never been in the same situation, then u cant advice me. Reason been that u will not know how i will feel or what will happen if i take the decision you are advising me on.

jaidopor: A question for everybody,

Do you start a relationship based on genotype? Imagine meeting a girl and the first question you ask her is her genotype?

I have witness a real life situation where the bride refused to show up for her marriage because she is AS and the groom is AS too. She got to know 3 weeks before the marriage date and when she told the groom that the marriage is off, the guy thought she was joking. Only for her not to show up on her marriage day.

The point is marriage is all about risk. The probability of successful marriage is 20%. For the probability to be higher and for couples to have a successful marriage, then both the party have to sacrifice to make the marriage work. So, marriage is all about taking risk.

My personal view is that if you dont want to take a risk by marrying an AS then there are other aspect of the relationship that you will not take risk on. The probability of 2 AS's having a child with SCD is 25% out of 4 kids. The child with SCD can be the 1st, 2nd,4th and 3rd kids. Have you ever thought about having 3 kids with no SCD child if you are lucky (it has happen before - 2 AS's marrying each other and they dont have any SCD kids). It a risk.

How about 2 AA's having kids with gene / DNA disorder. It can happen to anyone. How will you test against that? Or child with birth defect. How will you prevent that? How about 2 AA's having kids that turn out to wayward. I have seen parent curse the day they gave birth to some kids and parent saying that its better not to have kids than have bad ones.

Life is all about risk. The man or the woman that you rejected based on genotype might be the person that will bring happiness into your life and you achieving your aim in life.

I am AA but genotype is not a determining factor for me when i want to get married. I am a risk taker.

Sir, that is too big a risk to take o! Do u av any SCD patient around u? Have u actually seen any of them during crisis before? Then u'll agree wt me that love is a small sacrifice to make when it comes to the issue of genotype.
And pls, 4get mendel's gene diagram wen it comes to genotype. My ex is a SCD patient who has 2 younger brothers who are also SCD patients, his immediate elder broda n immediate younger broda are both AS's. What do u say 2 that? My own mother has 3 AS's n one SS. What happened to that 'gene' diagram? Genes are randomly selected o. Read and understand Mendel's law wella.

It is tru that u don't start a relationship based on genotype and u cannot ask 4 a gal's genotype d day u meet. But pls do u ask her to be ur gal d same day u meet? At least, most people start 4rm friendship. U can 'stylishly'bring up genotype issue n ask her. Of course she'll know wat u r tryin 2 do, but if she knows d importance, i'm sure she will not use dat against u. Pls check your and ur partner's genotype 2day o.

Knowledge about this condition is still very low...

nwaka1:


5) Do you think that with the right education and awareness of Sickle Cell disease, that someone living with Sickle cell can live a long, healthy and productive life? THEY CAN LIVE A LONG AND HEALTHY LIFE WITH GOD BY THEIR SIDE.


7) Can you marry someone living with Sickle Cell? YES, I AM MARRIED TO ONE MYSELF. THANK GOD HE HARDLY FALLS SICK.

9) Do you think a SS male can father a child? YES I GOT PREGNANT THOUGH I MISCARRIED

10) Do think a SS female can carry a pregnancy to term? IT MIGHT BE COMPLICATED, BUT I HAVE A SISTER INLAW WHO IS MARRIED AND LONGING TO HAVE BABIES

11) Have you ever been in close association with a SS person? YES, MY HUSBAND.

12) If yes, do you consider them different from other people having AA or AS?
THEY ARE DIFFERENT IN A VERY POSITIVE WAY, THEY ARE VERY SMART AND INTELLIGENT AND THEY USUALLY DO WELL IN EVERYTHING THEY PUT THEIR MINDS INTO. APART FROM THAT, THEY ARE JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN BENGS. Hope these will help ur research.

Thank you Nwaka1. But I find your response to question number 5 a bit funny. Yes with God all things are possible, but we should equally strive hard to educate ourselves in things that concern us.

With a good knowledge of Sickle Cell and a good Dose of Faith, there is nothing that a SS won't achieve. And Yes, we are highly intelligent beings.

lola.luv:
Knowledge about this condition is still very low...

You can say that again. The most painful aspect is that some of us living with SCD are so shy of stigmatization that we normally shy away from discussing the topic.
I AM A NORMAL HEALTHY BEING, WHY SHOULD I BE ASHAMED OF DISCUSSING SOMETHING THAT WASN'T MY FAULT IN ANY WAY.

jaidopor:

Someone that allow others to make life decision for them during courtship will definitely invite relative ( and society) into his or her marriage latter on.
This is what i usually tell people. If you have never been in the same situation, then u cant advice me. Reason been that u will not know how i will feel or what will happen if i take the decision you are advising me on.

I can see you are an optimistic person, keep it up.
But what I said about family & friends influencing people during courtship is as Real as Real can be.
Thank you bro.

And Yes, we are highly intelligent beings.[/quote]

Lolz....Mr Abali, what r u feeling like?

Well i think it is true. My sister is one of the best students in her class n she has bn like that since she was little. When she speaks, people listen! N i av many examples around me like that. I think God has a way of compensating u guys 4 d stress.

Abali1:

You can say that again. The most painful aspect is that some of us living with SCD are so shy of stigmatization that we normally shy away from discussing the topic.
I AM A NORMAL HEALTHY BEING, WHY SHOULD I BE ASHAMED OF DISCUSSING SOMETHING THAT WASN'T MY FAULT IN ANY WAY.

True!
I have a friend with it. She used to feel guilty whenever she was having a crisis that she was a disturbance to her mum.
She's married now to a guy who is crazy about her, and has a very good, upwardly mobile career. Her CV is also filled with different certifications, all before 30. So I believe an SS could have a normal, fulfilling life, though taking some precautions.

ameenahz:


Sir, that is too big a risk to take o! Do u av any SCD patient around u? Have u actually seen any of them during crisis before? Then u'll agree wt me that love is a small sacrifice to make when it comes to the issue of genotype.

My own mother has 3 AS's n one SS.

It is tru that u don't start a relationship based on genotype and u cannot ask 4 a gal's genotype d day u meet.

My dear, from your previous post you stated that your sister is 14years old. If you have gone through my other thread on SCD, you will see where I stated it clearly that the most trying times for a SS is when the person is still very young.
I can tell you for free that when your younger sister hits adulthood 21 and above, the crisis will start subsiding.
Why? Because by then she can sense the onset of a crisis before it finally comes, and if she is sensitive to her health she will take appropriate measures to prevent the crisis or minimize it.
Thank you.

ameenahz: And Yes, we are highly intelligent beings.

Lolz....Mr Abali, what r u feeling like?

Well i think it is true. My sister is one of the best students in her class n she has bn like that since she was little. When she speaks, people listen! N i av many examples around me like that. I think God has a way of compensating u guys 4 d stress.

That statement is the truth. Most SS are usually so intelligent (those that i have met so far including my best friend)

But, if their parent based their life decision on the genotype, these beautiful human been wont be alive today. Yes....its true that the attack might be difficult. But a SCD attack with people you love around you who show genuine love for you is bearable.

With advent in medicine, things are getting better and will surely get better for them. They are human being like me.

TNX 4 D ENLIGHTENMENT

slashdot:

OP: I am a known sickler, I was born with and grew up though pain as a result of the regular crisis we often encounter. My parents got married 1970, none of them ever thought of or know anything called genotype testing then. We are thre that were born with SCD out of seven children, I'm the eldest and today the only surviving sickler in the family and I will be 41 years old later this year GOd willing.
Growing up with SCD was a very big challenge, I know the sleepless nights I and my late parents ve bn tru. I will tell you this, my late parents both died 2011 with three months apart. My parent have always thought I would die before them due to how severe my crisis have always been, to these attacks only comes late in the nights! I grew up seeing how my parents alway panick whenever I have these attacks.. So they lived with the thoughts that I could pass away any moment but I thank the Almighty God, I survived and I burried my parents and not the other way round.
Yes, Sicklers could have children, I am married with a very handsome boy who I named after my late father, I married a woman who's genotype is AA and our child has none of the complications that comes with sicklers cos he is AS!
There's a cure for SCD and it in Nigeria, a sickler can be cured tru stem cell transplant using bone marrows, but you can only be cured if you have siblings that are AA.. But unfurtunately, only sicklers that are 15 years and below can only be cured in Nigeria as at now. I got to know this after I spoke with the specialist doctor in UNIBEN, Dr. Bazuaye. He informed me that they will start adult procedure next year.
Lastly, female sickler can get pregnant as well give birth to babies!

. If truly there is a cure for SCD then it isn't even publicly known, though I believe there ia a cure to every disease unless its unknown yet. Won't mind if U can enlighten on the range of cost and some other conditions,

malipalina:
TNX 4 D ENLIGHTENMENT

You are welcome, but I will appreciate it if more people will take the survey.
Thank You.

.

sanb:

Thank You for taking time out to respond.

Abali1:

My dear, from your previous post you stated that your sister is 14years old. If you have gone through my other thread on SCD, you will see where I stated it clearly that the most trying times for a SS is when the person is still very young.
I can tell you for free that when your younger sister hits adulthood 21 and above, the crisis will start subsiding.
Why? Because by then she can sense the onset of a crisis before it finally comes, and if she is sensitive to her health she will take appropriate measures to prevent the crisis or minimize it.
Thank you.

I agree with all u have said. U av really encouraged me. At least now, i know how to talk 2 mum weneva she's down. Keep up d good work. God bless u.

.

Nigerians…. what a race. I’ve come to understand/learn that you guys only take things seriously when it affects you directly…..It seems blabbing is what we are really very good at but we never get to do anything positive…..That’s ok but it almost becomes a sin when you aim your blabs at someone who obviously wants to do something positive that could help save a life…..please if you have nothing to contribute to this thread, it’s not by force….LEAVE OOOOO

jaidopor: A question for everybody,

My personal view is that if you dont want to take a risk by marrying an AS then there are other aspect of the relationship that you will not take risk on. The probability of 2 AS's having a child with SCD is 25% out of 4 kids. The child with SCD can be the 1st, 2nd,4th and 3rd kids. Have you ever thought about having 3 kids with no SCD child if you are lucky (it has happen before - 2 AS's marrying each other and they dont have any SCD kids). It a risk.

Dude please dont go and spread this fallacious lie around
Mathematically the probability of SS from AS and AS is 25% that however does not mean that all kids born of such a union cannot be SS
I am surprised OP did not disabuse this from your mind
Please any of your friends you have told it to, ensure you tell them you were misinfomed

Your thinking is thus
In a dice, the prob of getting a 1 is 16.67%, does it mean that if you roll the dice 6 times you will get 1 only once?

@Slashdot, exceptional story, I am happy for grace in your life

sanb: You're welcome and I’m also learning a lot here as well. Thank you for opening this thread. It'll be nice to see others respond as well too. keep it up....Mind me asking if your research is for an MSc or PhD project?

The research is not for academic purposes. I have a passion for SCD, just unfortunated that I am not science inclined.
But I will use the data gathered, to help create more awareness.

deobaba:

My dear, am sorry to hear about the Love you lost. But please stay focused on your marriage.
I can't begin to recount the disappointment I have faced in reltionship because of this genotype issue. To make matters worse, some of my ex will want to keep the communication channel open even after getting married to someone else.
But trust me, I never allow that to happen. I always say to myself "You are married, please stay married. I am not going to be a reason for distraction in your marriage".

That’s very good and highly commended. Keep it up; I’m already learning from other people’s responses…

Abali1:

The research is not for academic purposes. I have a passion for SCD, just unfortunated that I am not science inclined.
But I will use the data gathered, to help create more awareness.

Well funny thing is having SCD is not a death sentence. I'm a Doctor married to an SS ( one of the most beautiful woman in the world ) and I never knew she was cos we were friends for a long time until when we got serious and she came out to tell and it never changed a thing. And its funny when I hear people look at those with SCD as walking corpse..gosh that's so wrong, we need to change our mindset.
They can live as long as any healthy person with adequate care and more importantly love and support.
And with her use of Hydroxyureas she's been almost crisis free..except for very extreme exhaustion from work which we all experience.
Trust me even someone who's AA without love and support will die prematurely.
I must add she's not just beautiful, she's very healthy and takes care of me the AA dude!
And if I tell you where she works your jaw will drop considering she's SS and she's top of the notch!
And you can not over-emphasize the importance of getting to know your genotype, its life-saving.
And please cos someone is SS shouldn't be a reason to stigmatize them..like someone said its not an infection its a condition.

eahk: Well funny thing is having SCD is not a death sentence. I'm a Doctor married to an SS ( one of the most beautiful woman in the world ) and I never knew she was cos we were friends for a long time until when we got serious and she came out to tell and it never changed a thing. And its funny when I hear people look at those with SCD as walking corpse..gosh that's so wrong, we need to change our mindset.
They can live as long as any healthy person with adequate care and more importantly love and support.
And with her use of Hydroxyureas she's been almost crisis free..except for very extreme exhaustion from work which we all experience.
Trust me even someone who's AA without love and support will die prematurely.
I must add she's not just beautiful, she's very healthy and takes care of me the AA dude!
And if I tell you where she works your jaw will drop considering she's SS and she's top of the notch!
And you can not over-emphasize the importance of getting to know your genotype, its life-saving.
And please cos someone is SS shouldn't be a reason to stigmatize them..like someone said its not an infection its a condition.

WoW. I believe someone out there will read this thread and reconsider his or her plan of dumping that SS.
Thank You Doc.