Thanks Abali...your thread really opened up to me alot of false health reports from these roadside labs that may be circulating our system...Haba
It then pays to say that we dont just do these tests to fulfill righteousness but with the tot of the implications of not carrying out a thorough one in mind.
Sitting here ...i too have a false report ...yea i thought it was a miracle SS to AA...
My parents got married in the 70's, my mum a nurse then and dad a big time banker. You would think with the exposure they will carry out all the preliminaries...hmm...they didnt even know i had the SCD till i was 5yrs old.
We go through stuff oh...you cant quantify the level of pain, physical and emotional, your restrictions then from doing things you love but...
I am 31 now and living the life, i am pretty successful, my colleagues say 'very smart and intelligent', i set goals and i achieve 'em. Infact i have no boundaries and no place i cant go.
I am telling this to the peeps out there who fear the physical alot. Let me tell ya'll a secret we all know...the spirit of a person is the real person. I have got all AA cousins and colleague who are on admission every other week.
I got jilted 4times after disclosing my genotype at the point of 'marriage talks' cos in truth ...you see me and you cant guess a thing, but its fine, its hard to explain to peeps who never went down a road like this to know that the true man is his spirit...if you have got a healthy spirit full of life...a minute with such person is worth million times more than a healthy person wirh a very sick, low spirit.
Nevertheless .... i do not cancel out proper checks. Cos i think abt what i went thru as a child and i quiver. Its not fair to knowingly make an innocent being pass through same or even worse.

@Unicorn22,
We don't call ourselves Warriors because we want to boast or feel important. But we call ourselves Warriors, because after all the Trials and Tribulations we come out smiling.
Sometimes those that Jilted you because you are SS will see you in the future, say 5 0r 6 years down the line, and they get shocked because you are still standing and even doing better than the last time the saw you.
The topic of this thread is MARRIAGE AND THE SICKLE CELL DISEASE. I purposely chose it, because I want to pass across a message to people out there. Of course it takes more than Love to go into a marriage relationship with a SS. IT TAKES HEALTHY DOSE OF FAITH and being able to look beyond the physical.
I have had relationships were the girl tells me that "I am everything she ever wanted in a man......BUT", once it gets to that "but" I smile and tell her...."I understand". Then I move on. It is not easy, but I know that I am more of an assets than a liability to that BOLD AND COURAGEOUS LADY who will stand by myside and be counted.

amarush: Smh at all this misdiagnosis. Same thing with my husband, two tests in Nigeria both results AA. Husband was tested in the UK at the insistance of the hospital after I got pregnant and I tested AS. Husband result came back AS. Anyway we have to beautiful children, first born AA, second AS. Both pregnancies opted to have CVS, a procedure where a needle is inserted through your stomach to extract amniotic fluid to test for SS in the babies. 2 week wait for the results, the longest two weeks of my life.

. 0arush,

oluplus: . 0arush, pls let me ask some few questions abt cvs. Was told it has a level risk involved, like deformaton of the baby, loss of pregnancy, the aftermath pain. Is dis true. Learnt it's done in just 1 hospital in Lagos. Do u know of any other centres? Yes, i know u live abroad.

Hi. Sorry stated the wrong procedure. I actually had Amniocentisis but was scheduled to have a CVS, its the same procedure but for CVS the placenta is used as opposed to amniotic fluid. The consultant changed his mind because of the position of the baby. There is a 1 in 200 risk of miscarriage for both procedures, but to my knowledge there is no risk of deformaty. You are advised to rest for a couple of days but the pain is not bad, only a dull ache and was given some paracetamol. I had the same consultant both times, great Nigerian guy, really put me at ease. I'm not surprised that its not widely available its an intrusive procedure and should only be performed by a specialist. Sorry I don't know any places that do it over there.

amarush:

Hi. Sorry stated the wrong procedure. I actually had Amniocentisis but was scheduled to have a CVS, its the same procedure but for CVS the placenta is used as opposed to amniotic fluid. The consultant changed his mind because of the position of the baby. There is a 1 in 200 risk of miscarriage for both procedures, but to my knowledge there is no risk of deformaty. You are advised to rest for a couple of days but the pain is not bad, only a dull ache and was given some paracetamol. I had the same consultant both times, great Nigerian guy, really put me at ease. I'm not surprised that its not widely available its an intrusive procedure and should only be performed by a specialist. Sorry I don't know any places that do it over there.

Thank you

I am battling with myself whether to create another thread in line with my commitment, to keep creating awareness for SCD. But I think I will just post a link of a story/interview with one of my kind.
You can visit the site and read more. Thank You.

pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/11/29/one-womans-battle-against-sickle-cell-disease/

“I understand the psychological downside of this ailment so I try as much as I can to motivate others not to lose hope. I try to build a social platform where I can reach out to my friends and give them a reason to stay positive. After all, people live with HIV and yet they get married and have children, why give up on yourself?”

Bukola Sogbuyi

Lovely article and she is really a strong lady who has faced a measure of adversity with her condition and the loss of her mum in her teen years
She is a warrior

Touching quote

Love Life
Despite the rejection she encountered from her previous boyfriend, Bukola is not afraid to love again. In fact, she is currently in a relationship. “It is weird but I do find myself dating guys with the genotype AA. It’s not like I go about asking them of their genotype, though I don’t know my boyfriend’s status now but we will soon find out.”
But if the genotypes were changed will she still fall in love with her kind?
“Yes, I will gladly date a sickle-cell patient. In fact, I will marry him!”
Did you raise an eyebrow? I actually did same but Bukola believes that with love, she can conquer all. On the issue of children, Bukola opt for adoption, but if her man has the AA genotype, she will definitely want to have children of her own and adopt as well.

If the shoes were reversed, it is not as easy as it looks

http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/11/29/one-womans-battle-against-sickle-cell-disease/

biolabee: Lovely article and she is really a strong lady who has faced a measure of adversity with her condition and the loss of her mum in her teen years
She is a warrior

Touching quote


If the shoes were reversed, it is not as easy as it looks

http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/11/29/one-womans-battle-against-sickle-cell-disease/

biolabee, I believe that quote. If the shoes were reverse *MANY* Warriors out there will marry someone with Sickle Cell.
Life is all about the way you view it. If you have WALKED THROUGH THE VALLEY OF SHADOW OF DEATH so to speak, then you will not really fear death.
For instance, when I talk about death many people will start hushing me, and I will be like "what are you afraid of?" Death? No matter how you fear it, you will still die.
The best you can do is to live a Rewarding and Fulfilled Life. Pursue your dreams with everything you have got and put in your best in any thing you undertake to do.
Why should I worry unnecessarily, when I have a God who has commanded me to "Cast my burden at His feet."

Hmmmmm....

Because of the seeming fear for brevity of life in people living with the Sickle Cell disease, most families, especially mothers, become antagonistic when their sons or daughters date or want to marry persons with this disease. This was my case for so long. Even after we did medical examinations to be sure we were compatible, I lost great relationships that I thought had bright futures due to antagonistic pressures from the guy’s family. One was very recent with a medical practitioner who strongly believed we could make it work despite pressures from his family; but on my path, it was difficult to go into a family where everyone was totally against you as wife; so I had to put away sentiments and stop the relationship for my own good. As I grew older, my confidence level grew. My brother taught me to build my self esteem by always pumping great words into my life. He made me see myself in a different light. He told me often that I am what I imagine I am and so urged me to imagine only positive things about myself. I have composed so many songs which I never had the boldness to produce. He always told me I could do it. Now I am working on them because I have faith in myself. So when I am asked those questions I used to feel embarrassed about, I simply see it as another opportunity to educate people about the disease I live with, how it can be avoided and how it can be managed. I no longer see it as embarrassing. I often tell myself, especially during my past crisis, that nothing has more power over me other than that which I give it through my conscious imagination; I learned this from my late brother. I have not had crisis in such long while. I stayed the past years without visiting the hospital. I know it’s the power of He who created me, working with my new world of self esteem and positive mentality about myself that I can do it and I can make it. In my life, I have learned to speak out loud, I am bold and I believe constantly in the creator of life in me. Through the stigma society seemingly associates with this disease, I believe people living with this disease should find what gives them hope, and develop an inner strength by building a positive angle for themselves, avoiding any form of self pity and rather take any opportunity they have to educate the society on how this can be avoided. As I write, I wish that people in the society, colleagues, spouses, friends, family, all who read this piece would also help fight against the seeming stigma this disease may bring. Let us show some more love to, and, be patient with those we know, we see who have this disease knowing that with complicated situations like these, emotions especially can never be predicted. As families and friends, let us be committed to them in the little way we can; trying to understand what they go through. We can help build their faith in life and what it can offer them.
Writer : Enigma

Culled From www.femmelounge.org/dd/

I have never really believed in the notion of love at first sight, after all, love was meant to be a conscious decision between a man and woman, but when it struck, I found myself dumbfounded and all other believes and ideologies I once had suddenly crumbled like a pack of cards right before my eyes.
It wasn’t a clear beautiful night. The birds weren’t singing in the trees. The sun wasn’t high up in the sky. And no, there was nothing romantic about the air or the day, so it wasn’t a case of Cupid striking me silly with his arrows. Yet, there I was falling in love – beyond reasonable doubt with this smashing work of art, but that was only the beginning... As our affair blossomed, we got to know about each other a little more... you know... our likes and dislikes, dos and don’ts plus all the other rules that make for a healthy relationship. Then one night, while we were taking an early evening walk, I couldn’t help but notice that he seemed a little disturbed, so I teased, tickled and finally got a well deserved laugh. The next day, he had a beautiful romantic evening planned out for me – it started with an afternoon of shopping (you know how we women get with the shops. They just keep tempting us, honestly!), believe it or not, he endured the ‘torture’ of accompanying me from one shop to the next, watching me try out a roll of outfits, and giving his comments ‘by fire by force’. Then came my favourite movie... (OK... thought I’d tell you? LOL!) and finally, dinner at my favourite Chinese restaurant! This is was the life indeed.
By this time, I had butterflies in my stomach and was secretly thanking my Maker for a dream come true. I took another look at him, and marveled at how handsome he looked. Wow! What a mix - beauty, brains and a kind heart, boy was I lucky! As we sat opposite each other at the restaurant, he looked deeply into my ears and suddenly I saw the glitter of tears in his eyes. At first, I was worried, then glad, and soon, worried again. He reached out from across the table and held my hands and stroked gently. He then looked into my eyes again, by this time, he was visibly shaking and the glint of tears I saw in his eyes had rolled down his face. ‘I have something to tell you’ he said. My heart raced, but it wasn’t the silly feeling described in romantic novels. This was real and scary indeed, but I managed a brave smile. ‘Whatever you decide, will be ok by me...’ he continued. ‘Guy, speak please!’ Were the words at the tip of my tongue but I just couldn’t muster the courage or the voice to mutter them.
‘I am a sickler. Genetype SS.’ He paused for a few minutes waiting for the words to sink in. I felt his grip tighten a little more, but suddenly he let out a sigh and released my hands. ‘I love you. I always will’ At lot raced through my mind as he uttered those words, but the reality of his statement hit me hard and fast. Right before me, was the man I loved and because of a genetic condition I was faced with what seemed like a major dilemma – The scourge of Sickle Cell! These has been the experience and plight of people who love or have loved people with Sickle Cell.

Culled from, tinukie..com/2012/07/help-i-am-in-love-with-sickler.html?m=1

It has also been the plight of Sicklers - having to walk away from love or having love walk away from them all in the name of the society and the fears of people who simply fail to dig deeper than the fairy tales and exaggerations the media has continued to feed the public. From the tales of twisted minds who have sought to ‘cast out’ unseen demons to the fear of reaching out and declaring ‘the status’ for fear of rejection, to the pity party that creates the impression that Sicklers are worse off than they actually are, the society, has placed a huge amount of burden and pressure on this group of individuals who are known to largely occur within the black race. Now let’s take a look at things a little closely, and with some common sense too. What’s Sickle Cell all about? Simple! Cells that sickle – yes, you heard me, that, and just that. So while none Sicklers have normal red blood cells, and carriers have an amount of Sickle cells, Sicklers have mostly 'interestingly shaped’ red blood cells.

Culled from, tinukie..com/2012/07/help-i-am-in-love-with-sickler.html?m=1

Sicklers experience painful episodes called crises.
None Sicklers experience migraine and pain in parts of their body too.
Sicklers are sometimes known to be anemic.
Guess what, none Sicklers who are not properly nourished are also prone to aneamia.
Sicklers are said to be prone to medical complications,
The same with every human being that walks on the face of the planet, but no one labels them or places a huge keep away sign from them right from birth!

You might argue; can Sicklers do everything none Sicklers can? Believe it or not, the answer is yes. Improvement in Medical Science has led to a massive improvement in the quality of life of Sicklers.
How about bringing up a Sickler child you may ask, for those who already have them?
Well, it was just recently reported that a bone marrow transplant was successfully carried out on an infant in Nigeria. This means, if our government can provide the necessary funds required, many more of such procedures can be carried out on children who need them, or maybe soon, this procedure can be carried out at a subsidized rate – just thinking.
Culled from, tinukie..com/2012/07/help-i-am-in-love-with-sickler.html?m=1

You see, I am not saying go out and act recklessly or fall in love without common sense. I am saying, if you have found love and cherish what you have, embrace it and make it work. I am saying if you have met a Sickler, don’t make things tougher than they already are by making them feel bad about themselves – frankly who says who will outlive them anyway?
Stop making cheap money by publishing nonsense about Sicklers when in actual fact all you have heard is nothing more than hearsay!
Stop spreading fables about a phenomenon you don’t get talk less of understanding.

So I guess you're wondering what I said to him...? Well, here’s a hint, if you’ve got something great, hold on to it real tight. (Bet you know what I mean).

Culled from, tinukie..com/2012/07/help-i-am-in-love-with-sickler.html?m=1

After two years, I just read this post. Funny thing I just got dumped tonight cos of SCD
This is not the first bowing to internal or family pressure. So hurt but can't cry. Want to blame some one or something but m just blank. How many will come n go, how many times will I be hurt like this for being born this way.

Cryxtal:
After two years, I just read this post. Funny thing I just got dumped tonight cos of SCD
This is not the first bowing to internal or family pressure. So hurt but can't cry. Want to blame some one or something but m just blank. How many will come n go, how many times will I be hurt like this for being born this way.

Touching...

Please take heart and face the future with confidence, believing that the right man is on his way...

Cryxtal:
After two years, I just read this post. Funny thing I just got dumped tonight cos of SCD
This is not the first bowing to internal or family pressure. So hurt but can't cry. Want to blame some one or something but m just blank. How many will come n go, how many times will I be hurt like this for being born this way.

If he was truly yours, he never would have left. Be strong sis. The right man is coming.

Cryxtal:
After two years, I just read this post. Funny thing I just got dumped tonight cos of SCD
This is not the first bowing to internal or family pressure. So hurt but can't cry. Want to blame some one or something but m just blank. How many will come n go, how many times will I be hurt like this for being born this way.

Crystal, the irony of my thread (facts and myths of SCD) is that it was inspired by a heart break. But in all things I give thanks to God almighty who is all seeing and all knowing. Today, I am not just married, but happily so with a gift of a handsome son.
I want you to understand one thing, YOU WILL NOT STRUGGLE FOR WHAT IS YOURS. Be strong sister.

baby124:
Is this questionnaire necessary? I think dealing with the disease is enough. You don't need people's bias written out for you to even get more down about. Ah! Life is for the living o. You are already dealing with enough. And positivity goes a long way for a healthy and long life.

Hi baby,..I think research is always necessary
It informs knowledge, big time...no matter how much sensitive it is
And meanwhile, sufferers may want to be heard too
If I let you know the number of road blocks we have cos we have a "paucity" of research in Africa,by Africans...you would cry for us

Anyway...@ Op, great job...and more grease

...are you from Ghana baby?

Cryxtal:
After two years, I just read this post. Funny thing I just got dumped tonight cos of SCD
This is not the first bowing to internal or family pressure. So hurt but can't cry. Want to blame some one or something but m just blank. How many will come n go, how many times will I be hurt like this for being born this way.

Hugs
Just focus on the sure love you have....from family...nieces? nephews? siblings? parents? Others?
Always adorable....I always tap into that love whenever I need big loving
Take care, okay?

Abali1:
This thread is born out of the desire to get people's opinion concerning those of us living with SS. Below is a draft questionnaire I intend distributing to people, in the course of researching Sickle Cell Disease (SCD).

QUESTIONNAIRE:

1) Did your parents do genotype testing before they got married?

2) If not, do you consider yourself 'lucky' to have escaped being born a SS?

3) Would you categorise Sickle Cell as a terminal illness alongside Cancer or HIV/AIDS?

4) With you knowledge of Sickle Cell disease, which genotype pairing do you think is the most compatible for someone with sickle cell to marry?

5) Do you think that with the right education and awareness of Sickle Cell disease, that someone living with Sickle cell can live a long, healthy and productive life?

6) In your estimation, how long do you think that a SS person can live? In other words what is the expected Life expectancy?
7) Can you marry someone living with Sickle Cell?

If NO, what are your reasons? (Please state a cogent/tenable reason)

9) Do you think a SS male can father a child?

10) Do think a SS female can carry a pregnancy to term?

11) Have you ever been in close association with a SS person?

12) If yes, do you consider them different from other people having AA or AS?

1) No they didn't.

2) Yes, very lucky. My parents weren't even aware of such things as genotype. My dad is AA, mum AS, so I am very fortunate that both parents were not AS. My maternal aunt was not so fortunate. She lost her teenage daughter to sickle cell in 2004.

3) No I wouldn't. With proper care Sickle cell patients can live to a ripe old age.

4) AA. There's no two ways about it.

5) Yes.

6) I read somewhere that once they cross the age of 25 then they're free. I also read some where that 29 is the danger limit. I don't know which to believe.

7). Hell no,

Because I'm a carrier.

9) Yes

10) Yes

11) Yes

12) Yes of course, only not as strong as AA and AS people.

Ishilove:

1) No they didn't.

2) Yes, very lucky. My parents weren't even aware of such things as genotype. My dad is AA, mum AS, so I am very fortunate that both parents were not AS. My maternal aunt was not so fortunate. She lost her teenage daughter to sickle cell in 2004.

3) No I wouldn't. With proper care Sickle cell patients can live to a ripe old age.

4) AA. There's no two ways about it.

5) Yes.

6) I read somewhere that once they cross the age of 25 then they're free. I also read some where that 29 is the danger limit. I don't know which to believe.

7). Hell no,

Because I'm a carrier.

9) Yes

10) Yes

11) Yes

12) Yes of course, only not as strong as AA and AS people.

You see... we're compatible...

Ishilove:

1) No they didn't.

2) Yes, very lucky. My parents weren't even aware of such things as genotype. My dad is AA, mum AS, so I am very fortunate that both parents were not AS. My maternal aunt was not so fortunate. She lost her teenage daughter to sickle cell in 2004.

3) No I wouldn't. With proper care Sickle cell patients can live to a ripe old age.

4) AA. There's no two ways about it.

5) Yes.

6) I read somewhere that once they cross the age of 25 then they're free. I also read some where that 29 is the danger limit. I don't know which to believe.

7). Hell no,

Because I'm a carrier.

9) Yes

10) Yes

11) Yes

12) Yes of course, only not as strong as AA and AS people.

Crestfallen

Ishilove:

1) No they didn't.

2) Yes, very lucky. My parents weren't even aware of such things as genotype. My dad is AA, mum AS, so I am very fortunate that both parents were not AS. My maternal aunt was not so fortunate. She lost her teenage daughter to sickle cell in 2004.

3) No I wouldn't. With proper care Sickle cell patients can live to a ripe old age.

4) AA. There's no two ways about it.

5) Yes.

6) I read somewhere that once they cross the age of 25 then they're free. I also read some where that 29 is the danger limit. I don't know which to believe.

7). Hell no,

Because I'm a carrier.

9) Yes

10) Yes

11) Yes

12) Yes of course, only not as strong as AA and AS people.

Thanks Ishilove for responding. But be advised that number 6 is a Myth. A SS person can cross 18/27/26/29/35 or whatever age and still have frequent reoccurring pain crisis if he or she does not take adequate care of him or herself.

Cryxtal:
After two years, I just read this post. Funny thing I just got dumped tonight cos of SCD
This is not the first bowing to internal or family pressure. So hurt but can't cry. Want to blame some one or something but m just blank. How many will come n go, how many times will I be hurt like this for being born this way.

Cryxtal one thing I would love you to know is that you are born according to God's perfect plan that includes your genetic make up. All it takes Dear is for your assigned partner to locate you. I actually know a couple with the same situation and are happily married today. Yours' will definitely be an added testimony.

inimitkel:

Cryxtal one thing I would love you to know is that you are born according to God's perfect plan that includes your genetic make up. All it takes Dear is for your assigned partner to locate you. I actually know a couple with the same situation and are happily married today. Yours' will definitely be an added testimony.

amen. Thanks for your strong words. Right now, I will just focus on my career n further my education. Keep adding value to myself. M not sure m ready for another emotional session

ugogozi:
̥-̶̯͡»̶̥A̶̲̥̅♏ an s.s patient. Life is very hard. 4 me crisis. S̶̲̥̅o painful

It is well with you, my dear. We're in this together

hmmm life has not been easy for the past one year. I met this lady at the university and proposed to her. it took me two years before winning her heart. For the first six months, my beautiful, loving and caring girlfriend seemed disturbed whilst I was Okay having her around me even though I was disturb too for her unhappiness which I didn't know the cause. whenever I said I love you, she hesitantly responded but when I ask her Would you love me forever she will say "that time is yet to come for all of us to decide especially you " . I never understood her. She did not show any sign of living with the SC type of sickle cell condition. she indeed show care for me as I also love her. When we were going for vacation she asked me to check my blood type, HIV and sickle cell status. I love the girl and for that matter conducted the tests she instructed me to do. But to my disappointment I turned out to be AS. with no sign of my lover been a person living with sickle cell, I submitted the report with the idea that even if she is not AA and she is AS we can still continue.

But it wasn't what I was thinking. she is rather living with SC condition of sickle cell. I try to frame my statement in different ways to seek the opinions of friends about such a relationship in which the danger of putting an innocent child into pain but all answers comes in the form of separation. Anytime the issue of breakup comes to mind tears become our food for the day. It is difficult on each of us part to let the other go but all avenues seems blocked for the continuation of our relationship. I always take her to hospital when she falls sick .In fact I cannot say when she is sick I won't attend to her but as much as she falls sick and I am with her my love for her increases. She has become part of my life and living far from her always send me signals that I have neglected my calling. I look at myself and sometimes I think anybody who hear of this will insult me that I am crazy and irrational. For this reason I have no one to discuss this with except on social media where no one knows this insane guy writing. I know I will still look irrational in the eyes of some but those who care should express themselves to help.

Teetom2:
hmmm life has not been easy for the past one year. I met this lady at the university and proposed to her. it took me two years before winning her heart. For the first six months, my beautiful, loving and caring girlfriend seemed disturbed whilst I was Okay having her around me even though I was disturb too for her unhappiness which I didn't know the cause. whenever I said I love you, she hesitantly responded but when I ask her Would you love me forever she will say "that time is yet to come for all of us to decide especially you " . I never understood her. She did not show any sign of living with the SC type of sickle cell condition. she indeed show care for me as I also love her. When we were going for vacation she asked me to check my blood type, HIV and sickle cell status. I love the girl and for that matter conducted the tests she instructed me to do. But to my disappointment I turned out to be AS. with no sign of my lover been a person living with sickle cell, I submitted the report with the idea that even if she is not AA and she is AS we can still continue.

But it wasn't what I was thinking. she is rather living with SC condition of sickle cell. I try to frame my statement in different ways to seek the opinions of friends about such a relationship in which the danger of putting an innocent child into pain but all answers comes in the form of separation. Anytime the issue of breakup comes to mind tears become our food for the day. It is difficult on each of us part to let the other go but all avenues seems blocked for the continuation of our relationship. I always take her to hospital when she falls sick .In fact I cannot say when she is sick I won't attend to her but as much as she falls sick and I am with her my love for her increases. She has become part of my life and living far from her always send me signals that I have neglected my calling. I look at myself and sometimes I think anybody who hear of this will insult me that I am crazy and irrational. For this reason I have no one to discuss this with except on social media where no one knows this insane guy writing. I know I will still look irrational in the eyes of some but those who care should express themselves to help.

Let her go. Trust God for another. The pains is not worth it.

Teetom2:
hmmm life has not been easy for the past one year. I met this lady at the university and proposed to her. it took me two years before winning her heart. For the first six months, my beautiful, loving and caring girlfriend seemed disturbed whilst I was Okay having her around me even though I was disturb too for her unhappiness which I didn't know the cause. whenever I said I love you, she hesitantly responded but when I ask her Would you love me forever she will say "that time is yet to come for all of us to decide especially you " . I never understood her. She did not show any sign of living with the SC type of sickle cell condition. she indeed show care for me as I also love her. When we were going for vacation she asked me to check my blood type, HIV and sickle cell status. I love the girl and for that matter conducted the tests she instructed me to do. But to my disappointment I turned out to be AS. with no sign of my lover been a person living with sickle cell, I submitted the report with the idea that even if she is not AA and she is AS we can still continue.

But it wasn't what I was thinking. she is rather living with SC condition of sickle cell. I try to frame my statement in different ways to seek the opinions of friends about such a relationship in which the danger of putting an innocent child into pain but all answers comes in the form of separation. Anytime the issue of breakup comes to mind tears become our food for the day. It is difficult on each of us part to let the other go but all avenues seems blocked for the continuation of our relationship. I always take her to hospital when she falls sick .In fact I cannot say when she is sick I won't attend to her but as much as she falls sick and I am with her my love for her increases. She has become part of my life and living far from her always send me signals that I have neglected my calling. I look at myself and sometimes I think anybody who hear of this will insult me that I am crazy and irrational. For this reason I have no one to discuss this with except on social media where no one knows this insane guy writing. I know I will still look irrational in the eyes of some but those who care should express themselves to help.

For every friend I lost to sickle cell as a young girl, I blamed the parents. If you want to get married then do not have children. You cause pain and heartache to everyone who has had the opportunity of knowing them and it's a pain that lives with us forever. It's not worth it. Do the unselfish thing and think of your kids. Having them wonder how long they are going to live is not fair.