ENJOY THIS
THE ADVENTURES OF AKPORS (SEASON 1)
INTRO: In the land of CBJ and the time of jokes, the
destiny of most jokes rests on the shoulders of a
young boy(or man, as the case may be) His name,
.
.
.
.
.
.
AKPORS.
.
.
EPISODE 1
A teacher lecturing on population said,
'In the world, after every 10 seconds, a woman
gives birth to a kid.'
Akpors stood up and said,
'we must find and stop her!'
Akpors: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Akpors: if only the winner will get the cup, why are
others running?
Akpors told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Akpors: So what, take an umbrella and go!
Postman: I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this
package.
Akpors: Why did you have to come so far, instead u
could have posted it.
Akpors at an Art gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!
Akpors was writing something very slowly.
A friend asked,
"why are you writing so slowly?"
Akpors: I'm writing to my six year old son, he can't
read very fast.
Flash news:A 2 SEATER plane crashed in a
GRAVEYARD.
Akpors and his townsmen have so far found 500
bodies and are still DIGGING for more.
EPISODE 2
Akpors' son: Mom, when I was on the bus this
morning with dad, he told me to give up my seat
for a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: ... but mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap!
Father to Akpors after exam: Let me see your
report card.
Akpors: My friend just borrowed it, he wants to
scare his parents .
Akpors was driving down the freeway, his phone
rang.
Answering he heard his wife's voice urgently
warning him,
'Darling, i just heard on the news that there's a car
going the wrong way on Umokoru highway, please
be careful!'
'its not one car' said akpors 'its hundreds of them,
am trying my best to avoid hitting them'!
How do you recognize Akpors in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from his book
when the teacher erases the board.
EPISODE 3
Once Akpors was walking and had a glove on one
hand and not on the other so a man asked him
why he did so.
He replied that the weather forecast prophesied
that it would be cold on one hand and hot on the
other.
Akpors bought a brand new Range Rover sports
and decided to drive down to another town near
umukoro to visit his friend.
After some days there he called his wife to expect
him in the evening.
He didn't come in the evening.
The day after he wasn't back.
On the third day he came back.
His distraught wife asked him,
'what happened my husband?'.
Obviosly tired from a long journey, Akpors stepped
out,
'These Range Rover people are crazy! They have
four gears for going forward and only one for going
back.'
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Akpors: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: YES AND NO.
EPISODE 4
Man: How old is your father?
Akpors: As old as me.
Man: How can that be?
Akpors: He became a father only when I was born.
Akpors took his girlfriend out for lunch and ordered
for a hot pepperish peppersoup, after they were
done eating with their BARE hands of course,
Akpors went to the toilet to ease himself, when he
came back they started chatting and after
sometime he started feeling pepper around his
'gentleman's area'{which was as a result of
touching his ***** with his pepper infected
fingers}.
He tried to ignore it but it grew worse and worse
and pain was clearly written on his face.
His date asked what was wrong and Akpors
couldn't control it any longer, with a tearful face he
shouted,
'my thing is on fire' the girl was stil asking 'what
thing??'
So Akpors just stormed out in pain looking for relief
anywhere.
Watchout for episode 5.
EPISODE 5
continued.. . . . .
Akpors being a police sergent by profession was
supposed to be on duty on the day of the incident.
So he rushed home amidst his pain and quickly put
on his khaki uniform and went 2 the station.
He was still undergoing serious pain when he got
there and was almost out of control.
So he sat down in the visitors seat and was just
fanning himself.
He removed his gun and kept it aside, unbuttoned
his shirt and threw his cap and kept on fanning
himself.
Unknown to Akpors the commisioner of police was
to pay a visit to their station on that day.
After sometime the commissioner arrived and saw
Akpors and the state of things.
O boy Akpors don enter soup o...
See what happens in episode 6!!
EPISODE 6
As the commissioner came in he was wondering
which irresponsible person was on duty.
Akpors in his misery couldn't even recognize the
person before him.
The commissioner started shouting who was on
duty and ignorant Akpors replied,
'It's me.. Who are you and what do you want here,
eh abi you want make I put you for cell? This one
wey you con here they shout anyhow so, you no
they fear face'
As a result of whatever the comissioner's aides did
to him. . . . . . .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
AKPORS WENT INTO COMA !!!
EPISODE 7
After Akpors wakes up from his coma with his ever
faithful girlfriend(Ekaitte) by his bedside.
He is faced with a new problem - employment as he
has been fired from the police force.
After some weeks of job hunting, he finally found a
job as a teacher in Umukoro Development
Community Primary School(UDCPS).
He was doing well with his new job until one day
something happened.
Skip to disk 8!!
EPISODE 8
One faithful day after school hours, Akpan one of
Akpors' students was having problem putting on
his shoes so Akpors went to help him.
Akpors managed to untie all the laces of the shoe
and struggled to slip it into the boy's leg.
After about 15 minutes the shoe was on and
Akpors was eager to go home when he heard
Akpans annoying voice saying,
'Uncle my sweet is inside the shoe'.
On hearing this, Akpors told the boy to go like that
but he refused.
So Akpors summoned the last ounce of patience in
him and removed the shoe and gave the boy his
sweet and put it back on which took about 20
minutes.
After Akpors was through he was about to go when
the boy said,
'the shoes are on the wrong legs'.
Akpors almost slapped the boy but he bearly
managed to control himself and switch the shoes
which took about 10 minutes.
Once again Akpors was about to go when Akpan
says,
'Uncle, this is even my younger brother's shoes, my
own is in my bag'.
Just like flashes of light, Akpors' experience with
the commissioner of police flashed before him as he
put it into action.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
AKPORS' TRIAL STARTS NEXT WEEK!!
EPISODE 9
After much delay, Akpors' case was finally heard
and sadly enough Akpors was sentenced to 3 years
imprisonment with hard labour for child abuse.
Anyhow sha, Akpors got into prison and soon
started getting used to prison life but he missed
home, his friends and his girlfriend.
Now Akpors was fond of getting into bad company
and this case was no difference.
His cell mate by name Ambali started putting ideas
of prison break into Akpors' head constantly with
his obsession of Micheal Scofield.
Akpors soon consented.
EPISODE 10
Soon Akpors, Ambali and other inmates got
together and carefuly planned on how to stage a
successful prison break.
This was their strategy, unlike in Micheal Scofield's
case there were no tunnels in this prison except for
soak-away lines which was not an option.
Their only option was that unlike fox river prison,
there was only one way out of this prison, and it
was constantly guarded at night.
So Akpors and Ambali suggested they would all
grab anything big, huge and long and attack the
prison guards unawares at night when they were
asleep.
The d-day came with the huge task ahead, so as
they all matched to the guarded gate ready to beat
living daylight out of the guards, they were
stunned by what they saw.
The gate was completely deserted with no guards
present, so since the guards were not there and
their original plan could not be done as anticipated.
They decided to go back to their cells till the day
that the guards were present.
Scroll down for Episode 11
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wetin una still dey find? Hehehehe... Una sef too
like tori...

na wa 4 yu oooo [/size][size=8pt]

Minimal work you have here.