Way back at uni, I was staying off campus, i used to be in charge of nepa issues for about thirty rooms. I still remembered inconclusive meetings and funny excuses when count electrical points. A cotenant once told us that his fridge and tv are not working again. A guy that used to disturbed the whole compound with generator will never pay nepa bill until we disconnected him. They all enjoyed my regime then cos we always had light, but I later heard that I embezzled their money by some alabosi. After my program i visited the house, d entire compound celebrated like super eagle having tasted a wayo appointee.

chreld_b:

Excuse me perhaps I'm being ignorant here, but what is a table tennis lawn? I know of outdoor table tennis, I know of lawn tennis but "table tennis lawn" I have never heard of.

***Dead**** ahahahaha.... it's lawn tennis. It only means its outside. Someone who doesn't know this, certainly didn't grow up anywhere near the Island not to talk of Banana Island.

**Silly, trix are for kids***

kemoolala: @jhydebaba, really u av experience o! kudos to u!

check out my diary https://www.nairaland.com/1155471/life-hotelier-echoes-past
Over experience dey worry me sef

u learn a lot by stayin in face me & face u.......nah everyday we dey watch free firm for my area dat year cos nah face me & face me full the street...........to toilet nah queue,to baff nah queue,to fetch water nah queue.......

mysticgal: ehen for the nepa bill,how much sef@akthegreat.

Why u come dey pretend since?Well,na #115 be your share plus the 45 naira wey u never pay over 6 months now..that is #160..i beg try pay am make quarrel no bust o..eerm,u go come my room this night?I don repair my mosquito net door and i just buy one fine film wey u go like well well..

deviduff: At my former face-me hostel wen I was schoolin at ekp,one boy rented room. Gradually,all his friends joined him and b4 d end of d year,de were more than 10 in d room. Always drinkin schnapp,chelsea and smokin weed. So landlord said de should pack end of year. De refused 2 pack and even didn't pay rent. So landlord brought carpenter and removed their door. De hung bedsheet to cover there. Robbers came one day and their room being d 1st,decided 2 start wit dem. 1 of d robbers own was 2 run and use his leg to smash open d door. So tinkin there was a door,he jst ran and used leg to march d bedsheet de hung. He landed in d midst of many boys sleepin wit cigar butts,bottles of gin,and all. So he screamed and ran out and d rest robbers took off also. D boys became local heroes,and continued stayin like that witout still payin rent till I left d hostel.

Loolllllll...... I just dey laff like fool here o. My boss thinks I've finally gone mad(he's been suspecting me thought)....I can c MOPOL coming to catch me! Am off o....

Only stayed in a face me i face you in the university hostel. Eni Njoku, Sodeinde, Jaja and Makama Bida in University of Lagos.

No just allow Baba Abass enter Bathroom before you: him go first shit, before he go shave, come start to dey think about he life before he go begin Baff proper. Iya Aina for backyard nko? No ever find her trouble, otherwise her multiple pikins go face you like angry soldier ants. Meanwhile, Our toilet done full since December last year, we done donate money give Iya Ahmed, but she done use our money go play Baba Ijebu for Boda Asis side now na kpo and paint rubber we dey use shit for inside baffroom.

cant stop laughing,see thread.

My own experience of face me I face you was in shomolu in the early 90s when my parent weren't in good time, processing divorce I and my younger brother were sent to live with grand mum. Every morning she will take us outside and bath us in front of the people passing by and almost everyone in the whole neighborhood don know the size of my kokoro.

One day a friend of mine wey me and am dey drag one fine shawty for my class come disgrace me, on a regular sun shower wey my grand mum dey perform every morning on me before I go to school as she begin dey shower for me na em I see many of my classmate including the girl wey I dey paro laughing and saying kai o boy as I notice them come see the way I pick race run back inside house.

Meeennn, dis one na really wah oooo !!!

I have been thoroughly entertained honestly.frm d man choppin alfa's yam to dos guys that refused to pay house rent. OP u too much.

If u live for face me I face u house for at least 3 yrs and u still dull, ah swear u no fit sharp for ur life again.

very amusing stories...

Clemzy16: gud old days.i remember face me i face mak i live den, na dere u go see 2 women dy quarell, mama oduwa go say na ur pikin shiit 4 here, den mama nosa go say na lie o! my pikin shiit no big/strong lik dat etc.. D whole experience ws crazy!!

this had me dying

Kgdavid:

this fella is the biggest joker ive ever seen... with your diction the only way yu live in Banana island is if ur a house boy or gate-man and as such yu really shuldnt be looking down at others. your need for attention is another cause for concern...grow up!

btw there is nothing like a "table tennis lawn"... may God deliver you from lying. you probably meant tennis court...i cant believe no one else has picked up on your nonsense

The guy is a troll. We know him well.

guy the money too mush,erm i no get that kin money,i just pay my gbese.na onl 50# i get,onyarurara.

Idowuogbo:
U no remember me? Kafayat wey dey pour u fish water.

The only Yoruba woman I remember then na Mama Bose, them dey attend Cherubim Church... Na you b that?.

groovie:

yeah, tank God. btw u must be an Abeokuta babe.
Iyana mortuary?

hehehehee....something like dat.

nbright: The only Yoruba woman I remember then na Mama Bose, them dey attend Cherubim Church... Na you b that?.

dats my MIL

mysticgal: guy the money too mush,erm i no get that kin money,i just pay my gbese.na onl 50# i get,onyarurara.

That one na between you and them..How far?..u go still come my room tonight?.Seriously,i just got an interesting film..you sure gonna like it.

I was born in one and I am a real ghetto kid..but I don't pray to. Start ma own family from a face me I face you..

Best human angle thread in weeks if you ask me. Nairaland made my day!

for u.s them get different face me i face you too

na one house landlord go convert to small small one room. People will pay like $120 a week to live there. You share kitchen and bathroom. Most of those are generally peaceful because most of our boys that live in those places work non stop. The only time problem rises is if something goes missing in the room. Most of the time it will be the land lord that stole it or the new crackhead thief who just moved in. These types of rooms you will see someone passed out on the floor with heroin needle still in his/her arm or prostitute will use it and a place of business.

another one is you rent one bedroom apartment and i take parlor you take bedroom. you share bathroom kitchen. problem will usually arise when i worked all day and i come home and the guy in the bedroom is blasting music and i want to go to sleep. or when electric bill come and it's $100 and i have been working overtime all month or your girl come visit and you no dey house but your room mate tells her to come in and wait for you and takes that chance to bad mouth you to her because he wants to hit that.

The worst type of face me i face you for u.s (not really face me i face you) na to live for projects. All those useless people who most of the time don't work but collect welfare money from govt live in the projects. they never stop having kids and all their kids usually don't have fathers around. Even when their fathers are around they are just as bad. They will piss in the stair case of a building, they will remove tobacco from cigar and throw it on the floor to use the cigar aper to smoke weed. they will rob you sometimes if you enter elevator by yourself. if you buy a new car and you no be gangsta your car go suffer because all their jobless asses will sit on your car all day talking about baby mama's and baby daddies . The biggest mistake you can make in the projects is to call the cops on someone, they will make your life hell from that day on. Even police dey fear to enter some projects.

Can't just stop laughing when tinking abt my face me i...experince during my nysc days.
As an otondo who soley rely on d huge amount of monthy allowee of 9,975 naira(for tsiga n federal gov eyes den o).i had no choice dan to attach mysef to a friend who was a viewing centre owner den,at least,free match sure for every week days n weekends.
On one champions league evening,i was having some chat wit dis my friend den suddenly,i heard dis endless noise coming from d compound i was a residence of, dis noise can be likened to dat of d former oshodi during tinubu's era...wetin omo boy go do?i put my long leg for work,breeze enter my compound so dat i go get wetin i go share wit my co-otondos for my ppa d next day.
Na one couple for d main building wey b face me i...raise alarm say der pounded yam wey D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ even cover wit cloth D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ miss inside der room.as dem even D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ talk abt am,i realise say dat pounded yam na dream come through for dem.come see curse,binding n casting,some even reveal d history of der family dat night.But na later we come knw say na inside our landlord house nai d pounded yam go find sit.i no fit laff d laff finish

Idowuogbo:
dats my MIL

So you are married?.. Interesting... Well, congrats and happy married life to you..

kumbalo: these things happen alot in my former yard. Peeping to do what na? You wan enter set?

Best Nairaland topic for 2013!

After a hard day's work it was such a comic relief to come across this topic on nairaland front page. I enjoyed reading almost all the stories, infact i laughed out really hard at certain times till tears rolled down from my eyes. I used to think Nairaland was full of faceless fake people but this thread just changed my perception of that. Now i know real people exist here as well.

Good to know most of your levels have now changed and its getting better , come 2014 we should be having a thread on how it feels to be landlords and i am sure most of you would have owned duplexes by then next level things

I rememba wen my next door neighbor who squats her boyfriend started gettin angry because we "borrow" her bucket of water anytime she keeps it outside preparing to take her bath especially during exam period. Well one day my roomie overheard her planning to urinate into a bucket of water one day then leave it for us to "borrow", needless to say, we stopped going near any bucket of water she or her bf keeps outside till we got angry one day & poured some urine into the water she and her bf used to take their bath that morning. I'm still thinking of how to tell her sef.

omega25red: for u.s them get different face me i face you too
......

The worst type of face me i face you for u.s (not really face me i face you) na to live for projects. All those useless people who most of the time don't work but collect welfare money from govt live in the projects. they never stop having kids and all their kids usually don't have fathers around. Even when their fathers are around they are just as bad. They will piss in the stair case of a building, they will remove tobacco from cigar and throw it on the floor to use the cigar aper to smoke weed. they will rob you sometimes if you enter elevator by yourself. if you buy a new car and you no be gangsta your car go suffer because all their jobless asses will sit on your car all day talking about baby mama's and baby daddies . The biggest mistake you can make in the projects is to call the cops on someone, they will make your life hell from that day on. Even police dey fear to enter some projects.

[size=28pt]PJ BABA!!![/size]

This days in our face me I face you house. Everybody seems to be wise. Reason na say some people don buy I pass my neigbhour gen up to ten times. You can be watching a film with your generator and all of a sudden the light goes off. Thinking its fuel that got finished. On getting there you realise that its only the connecting cord you find on the floor.even with chain and padlock e still dey miss. So this days na for our doormot our gen dey dey. With close inspection every 5 mins. Boys are not smiling.

nbright: So you are married?.. Interesting... Well, congrats and happy married life to you..