Didnt stay in face me i face u bt in d barracks 4 17yrs,cheii..it almst as worse as slap me i slap u....
2 many children in one rum...
Child A and child B 4m dif family go fight,e dn turn 2 JTF vs BOKO H...Cme c as dm dy trowey person 4m step go down.na dia husband dy settle am,d next mrnin e go continue.
Trust sme women,dm get phd 4 gossiping.
Aw abt time 2 bath?chai,u go c lyk 5pipu 4 bathrum at same time.na barracks na,nobody send anybdy.
Payng nepa bill wasnt a big deal there.,kitchen too cos each room has a kitchen.
D most annoying one na when dm pour u either pepper water,fish n meat water or even zobo water wen u dy play ball 4 down..na water make dm use wash plate or cloth worse pass.
D children there are stubborn n wicked too o.when 4yr old pikin piss 4 ur head u go knw say though water na water,piss difrent 4m rain...if those children cut ur wire or put salt 4 ur generator and ur gen cough 5tyms cme off.
Aw abt washng n dryng of clothes,chai dat na smtng else..u jus need 2 stand at d entrance of d barrack,u go ask weda here na laundry or barrack.
If u r a wicked n stingy person,barracks boys go show you something,if u send any pikin rice 100,beans 50 and 2meat,na dia ur own finish o..na rice 60,beans 30 and 2 meat e go buy cme or make him cme lie say money loss.trust na,u no go fit do anything.
What about pipu make dy smell film n food..oh my God!some children na expert...e get one mke dm dy call Wale,dat one dy smell film o 4m 2nd floor as u dy put d film d bobo dn enta ur hause like rat..d oda one Hassan chaii,as u dy put food 4 table him dn enta.
it fun and i can tell u i still miss my old pals..we have pipu 4m diffrnt religious n ethnic background.we mix and relate easily.we played all kind of play when we were young,we go to sch together,house 2 house 2 eat durng xmas n new year and dm must roger us b4 we leave(tax collector).lol.

Living i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ a face M̶̲̥̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ house can be very embarassing...
This scenario played out a few years ago i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ a face M̶̲̥̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ house.
Due †̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ Nepa Failures, everyone i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ Τ̣̣ђё compound have this small tiger generator.
Τ̣̣ђё only person that Ȋ̝̊̅§ yet †̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ buy Ȋ̝̊̅§ papa ogechi...
So Τ̣̣ђё embarassment Ȋ̝̊̅§ that one evening, papa ogechi had a visitor. And •̸№†̥ knowing Τ̣̣ђё exact room of papa Ogechi he asked us sitting outside (W̶̲̥̅̊ε were discussing football fixtures) Since none of us were willing †̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ make Τ̣̣ђё trip of escorting this visitor down †̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ papa ogechi's room, W̶̲̥̅̊ε decided †̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ describe it †̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ him.
(Guess ђã†̥ W̶̲̥̅̊ε said)


















Enter Τ̣̣ђё passage. For your left Ɣ☺ΰ go see one room towards Τ̣̣ђё end. Na him be de only house wey no- get light. Τ̣̣ђё house D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ use lantern...Ɣ☺ΰ go easily notice Τ̣̣ђё darkness.

Unknownly †̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ us, papa ogechi was about coming outside and heard our description of this room and became very embarassed and angry.
From that day onward W̶̲̥̅̊ε were ‎​​№ longer @ peace with each other. He would always complain that our gen smoke and noise was disturbing him.
Eventually when Τ̣̣ђё pressure became much, he borrowed money †̥ό̲̣̣̣̥ buy his own gen.
ђã†̥ happened when he could'nt pay up Ȋ̝̊̅§ story for another day.....

@ the house with lantern LMAO

masks: This days in our face me I face you house. Everybody seems to be wise. Reason na say some people don buy I pass my neigbhour gen up to ten times. You can be watching a film with your generator and all of a sudden the light goes off. Thinking its fuel that got finished. On getting there you realise that its only the connecting cord you find on the floor.even with chain and padlock e still dey miss. So this days na for our doormot our gen dey dey. With close inspection every 5 mins. Boys are not smiling.

God have mercy! All that carbon monoxide.

Na since afternoon I don de laff, some ds thread made my day.

I remember then our landlord children go borrow our spoon, them no go return am back, naim one day we wan eat rice, na so we discover say na only one spoon remain 4 house.

.......And i was parading myself as aje kpako, thank u Lord, for the innumerable priviledges u showered on my family and I

Last year in my friends face me i face u one family started looking for their teenage daughter for about 3 days to no avail. then rumour started spreading that she is inside the room of one Bobo that is adjacent their room all the while and Bobo just dey enjoy dey go. then the family went and bought fuel and then from the connnecting door b/w the 2 rooms pour fuel towards the bobos room and then light fire.All of a sudden both the Bobo and the missing girl jumped out of the room shouting fire! fire!! .come see Drama for compound

Irrespective of the numerous problems people encounter while staying in a ' Face me I slap U house- pls can u guys highlight d advantages or merits of staying in a face 2 face house... Tanx

Miss Ope: Irrespective of the numerous problems people encounter while staying in a ' Face me I slap U house- pls can u guys highlight d advantages or merits of staying in a face 2 face house... Tanx

Lmao! Merit? U go sabi how to yab and fight wella.

Just teasing... It basically highlights d importance of getting dat education. Get dat Benjamin bebe! It's all about villas in palm beach.

Miss Ope: Irrespective of the numerous problems people encounter while staying in a ' Face me I slap U house- pls can u guys highlight d advantages or merits of staying in a face 2 face house... Tanx

My sister no merit, Gej don give all the merit award finish
On serious a note,no merit in living with poverty.

Idowuogbo:
Lmao! Merit? U go sabi how to yab and fight wella.

Just teasing... It basically highlights d importance of getting dat education. Get dat Benjamin bebe! It's all about villas in palm beach.

Merits:.. 1). Sharp/witty retorts (2) Street Wiseness (3) Socialization either positive or negative (4) First hand knowledge of different customs and beliefs, (5) Rugged/Toughness (6)..... Make una add

When i dey school na so one guy after he don drink finish for one night na so he come back instead of to go him room he come go the common toilet begin bang loudly dey shout "who dey this room open this door or i will break the door "na so after sometime he use him leg bang the door untii he brought down the door .well the next day all of us come gather am until he go repair our toilet door.

had soooo many experience in face me i face you cos i was born dere,we later moved to our 'site' wen i was 15........one of my experiences was locking of d well with many padlocks during dry season.........sometimes dere will be like 8 diff padlocks belonging to different pple cos everybody wan fetch water......d well serves 26 rooms

I remember when I dey zaria, one Akwa Ibom girl celebrate her b'day so our compound boys (6 of us) pack go the venue, we drink and dance till 11 p.m then go house.... I just crash till morningg, when I wake up around 6 a.m to go piss for bathroom I see vomit everywhere (beans) and na 5 of us eat beans before we go the bash... I no throw up for nite when I ask the remaining 4 wey sleep for the same room all of them start to deny (3 na Lagos boys 1 na warri and them be regular dope men)...

I dated this girl in my compound that time, it had advantages eg she washed my clothes regularly, cooked food regularly and regular midnite reading . But it also had its disadvantages like when she broke up with me one day meanwhile my stove and cooking implements were already in her room, she refused to release them o. Anyways, my roomie invited two girls over that fateful day, luckily for me I had been cutting eye for one of them since but couldn't invite her home because of my compound chick, I then used the opportunity of our break up to prosecute my runs. Along the line I had to prepare indomie for those girls but my stove was still with ex after much begging she still refused to release it, I then had to beg aomeone else for his stove. Madam still no gree o, she came banging my door shouting who are those girls, answer me before I break down this door. Needless to say my runs knock patapata that night with my new catch.

i remember i used to peep at women taking their bath from the window of our self-contained face me i face you.I remember taking showers in the rain with face me i face you residents,i remember messing around with this babe when Nepa takes the light,i remember selling coca-cola bottels and newspapers for money to iya onigo,i remember face me i face you residents laughing at anyone who fell in the gutter and singing for them,i must say it was a bittersweet experience.

Idowuogbo:
Eya..Ebele still dey call u? Go do away na

Chai!!! Badosky!!! Enu ehn!!! Oti kpo ju gan!!

Lwtmbfhrotfl

Everybody come and see o!cus if I talk naw u go sae iya odun dn come again!u kno sae al of us no dey haus since morning,and oloriburuku iya tunde yi wan le lataro(na only dis unfortunate iya tunde dey haus)and she no fit help me pack my elubo(yam flour)wen rain stat..and she kno sae na in we go chop 2nit...iya tunde. Replies 4rm her room,o ri e lo buru!se elubo re ni n mon so nle(u are crazy shey na because of ur yam flour I dey haus??..both comes out and starts fightin....anoda 1..ehn!tunde!wat did I hear u cal odun nawdn't eva kal her by her name again cus she is ur sista or beta stil go and ask ur moda she wil tel u odun has started crawling while she was stil pregnant of u..iya tunde replies..nibo (4 wia)na dsame year we born dem o so dey are age mates..cus I dnt kno how a person wil 4get tins dat easily..ehn!so u mean am unintlgnt?stats fitin again cus of silly tins..lol..me sef dey luk b***ty 4rm our upstairs bak den o!2 many gals in our haus mehn!

Unfortunate.

The "leaders" are useless people.

The worst part is d issue of pple checking d type of food u eats and how many times u eat a day.and also d risky of witch in ur yard bewitching ur children especially wenevr u give birth to a new born baby,they will claim god women by coming early in d morning to help u bath d baby. If u have a matured daughter,there is a greater risk of her getting pregnant as it happened @ agege...a guy impregnanted a gal in d smelly bathroom. Guy21-gal17

juman: Unfortunate.

The "leaders" are useless people.

who is this spoil sport now ?

lol, I gotta drop my own part of da gist !

Deh can borrow anything I tell you, from Salt, Sugar, Spoon, plate it got to a time that my mom got angry at a tenant dis guy come borrow Water imagine? This memories I can never forget!

One guy raped a 12 years girl, mehn d girl mama ate dis guy live, she bite d hell outta dis man. Dis guy no comot from his room for 2 month. He goes out at night !!

I remember dis girl everytime weh night no deh we sometimes stay out till 1 am con see mosqito Kai! Dis girl sleepwalk from house to next street and found a good spot to relax. We search for her for almost 4 hours!

Dis is just part of Wat pple did! My own part is worse tht I can't write about tho

Pimples: This reminds me of one of my neighbours i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ a face M̶̲̥̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ n face U̶̲̥̅̊ house... where I used to live before,...
The man was a drunkard. So on this day, he was coming back from this drinking spree and was returning around 7:30am. (Every body in the coumpound was outside, doing stuff, children bathing, some brushing teeth ... )
meanwhile there is this gutter in front of the house. But the gutter is not so big. if you just strech your legs, you'll easily jump it.
So my neigbour was coming home and got to this gutter. Because of his drunken state, the gutter now appeared unusually large to him.
hence the man then decided to move back before attempting to jump this gutter. he then started moving back and back and back...... almost the beginning of the street ......about a 100 meters. and then started running as if he was contesting for WORLD JUMPING CHAMPIONSHIPS. all just to jump a very small gutter.Well he succeded and gave us all something to laugh about for the rest of the day...

Oh man you don kill me with laughter this morning so tay my mouth aches...

chreld_b:

Excuse me perhaps I'm being ignorant here, but what is a table tennis lawn? I know of outdoor table tennis, I know of lawn tennis but "table tennis lawn" I have never heard of.

I guess that is the type of game they play exclusively at banana island

chai, i remember many of those experience
* aunty joy wey dey always spread new white pants for line.wen dey pants don dey get brown patch,she go start 2 dey cover am wit towel 4 line
*brother chukudi wey dey always tell us to go bath b4 we enter him room watch dr. who
* mallam isa wey no like 2 dey pay okadaman.he will tell the okadaman say make him go collect money 4 inside,(because our yard connect with another yard by one small koro)him go pass there lost.God catch one day wey d okadaman go block 4 the other side, come see beg na
* or oga landlord wey always complain say him fawu dey miss,4 evening u go come see mama bisi dey fry chicken.landlord go dey surpect her but no go talk because her husband na fellowfever

Kai..no b smal tin o
1. If u wan baf, na que because e get som ppl wey b say na 30, 40mins dem go use 4 bathrum even 4monday mornin
2.nepa bills: dis 1 na war, som tenant go pack comot, new tenant go claim say dem no fit pay nepa bills wey dem no use
3. Diff muzic sounds go dey distorb ich oda, 1person go wan sho say him deck bad pass d oda
4. Toilet: wen u dey rush go toilet, u go c say 1person dey der & e fit use mins sef so tey ur shit go don relief u
so many more

Ferdinandu: Last year in my friends face me i face u one family started looking for their teenage daughter for about 3 days to no avail. then rumour started spreading that she is inside the room of one Bobo that is adjacent their room all the while and Bobo just dey enjoy dey go. then the family went and bought fuel and then from the connnecting door b/w the 2 rooms pour fuel towards the bobos room and then light fire.All of a sudden both the Bobo and the missing girl jumped out of the room shouting fire! fire!! .come see Drama for compound

Smoke out the pervy sage..
LOL

bigfree: chai, i remember many of those experience
* aunty joy wey dey always spread new white pants for line.wen dey pants don dey get brown patch,she go start 2 dey cover am wit towel 4 line
*brother chukudi wey dey always tell us to go bath b4 we enter him room watch dr. who
* mallam isa wey no like 2 dey pay okadaman.he will tell the okadaman say make him go collect money 4 inside,(because our yard connect with another yard by one small koro)him go pass there lost.God catch one day wey d okadaman go block 4 the other side, come see beg na
* or oga landlord wey always complain say him fawu dey miss,4 evening u go come see mama bisi dey fry chicken.landlord go dey surpect her but no go talk because her husband na fellowfever

author=jhydebaba]Ok, paying electricity bills can be so heart breaking and tedious. To share the point (breaking or each tenant) is like a secondary school student thinking of how to solve 'A' level mathematics.
The drama always get a special turn whenever PHCN officials called to disconnect our light from the pole.

A certain working class guy who normally leave home 4:30am to hustle returned home at night say 9pm to find out that there is PHCN light in the area but his room was in darkness. The frustration that he is not owing coupled with the tiredness made him vent his anger on every thing at sight to the extent that he almost slapped the landlord's daughter when she came to call him for a meeting.
Some people in the house owe a lot of money but they're not willing to pay till the kingdom come. "Den no dey pay oday", "give me time, I know say I dey owe, I go pay" etc are the likely things you'd hear.
Finally, a meeting would be fixed to resolve the problem. Oh my Gawd! Come see grammar na so that my working class guy (I use to call him Patrick Obahiagbon) go dey blow outdated grammar wey no dey inside oxford advance learner diko We'll drag the issue for hours spreading till the early hours of the new day without headway (I tire oh, no be to pay nepa bill abi na senate we dey) Na so buried issue go dey surface "d last time we contributed money to offload the soakaway some peple didn't pay" " baba so so so has never paid for watch man monthly due" "me, I no be fool, I know as he dey go for lagos"...
[/quote]

I don laff for this thread taya. Now lemme share my own FMIFY experience.

When I relocate from Lag go east, na for FMIFY na hin I lodge. Coupled with the fact that dem dey kidnap pple for Aba that time and i come resemble botty, I give myself sense come appear like rugged guy, come rent one FMIFY house for one of the most rugged areas of Aba: Obohia.

Na "goof yard" them dey call my compound because the landlord's brother; Nwachukwu na igbo merchant. COme see different characters for the yard. One guy Okey (we dey call am canned juice) will be targeting your pot inside kitchen. If you leave your pot unattended, Okey will tiff your food and clean mouth. Also the guy will never buy kerosene but in the night he will use ashawo key to open your cupboard padlock and use your stove.

Nwachukwu (the landlord's brother) is the igbo seller of the yard. In the morning, he will bring out his igbo and start to repackage it inside #50 wraps with rizzla. Him and his friends will do that one in the early morning in readiness for the day's sales.

Nwanyi bekee na the young fiancee of one guy wey we dey call bekee (he is light in complexion). Oh boy, Nwanyi bekee was a black beauty with lovely curved legs. When she tie only wrapper, na so I go dey scope am. She sabi gossip eh! She don notice say I dey arrange some babes, so she will be gossiping about it with another lady called nwanyi Eze. Also I noticed that she will be giving me bad eye if she sees me with any babe. One thing i noticed was that nwanyi bekee sabi cook wella and me i nor sabi cook, so I drew close to her and started yarning with her. And trust me naw, I get talk for mouth. Small time, anything she cook for she and her fiance, me go get share inside . I dey give am money sometimes as commission. And one day na only both of us dey the yard kitchen, I nor come know the kind devil wey enter my head, na hin i come gather her waist for my hand. Oh boy, I dey expect slap for face but she come dey smile one kain sweet smile. Na hin I come know say she dey feel my style. Me sef dey form one kain Lagos rugged boi + botty style wey dey always confuse pple because while appearing like a botty, I get rugged behaivour. From that day on, na so I go dey follow play with nwanyi bekee body when we dey alone for kitchen and she dey enjoy am gan!!! She go just dey pretend like say she nor dey feel am dey do wetin she dey do, but her face go dey register tweaks of pleasure . I go dey press bobbi and yansh but I nor get mind to tell her make she enter my room because I nor ready to go heaven yet

Pastor Chidi was another character. He is always waking up at 5am to go and do neighborhood preaching with his gramophone. Also sometimes he will wake us up with his yard preaching in the morning.

Chidosky is another fellow who fvcks anything fvckable. He carries all manner of girls: from market seller to office babes. He later contracted gonorrhea.

Ozemena is the landlord and the guy is fvcking annoying. On saturday is my turn to clean the yard. Na so as i still dey enjoy saturday morning sleep, na so the guy will start to bang my door and tell me to come and clean the yard and toilet and bathroom. I hated doing this but others do it as well so I nor get choice. Anytime you arrange chick come your room and you are nacking the chick, na so Ozemena will be peeping at you through the mosquito net. The guy no get babe so you can't blame him.

As my yard come be Igbo yard, if you come home during the day, oh boy, na so so igbo you go dey smell because you go see as rugged men dey smoke igbo for the whole yard. One thing I liked about the yard was that we were feared because of the kind of rugged things that went on in the yard. If not for me staying in that yard, dem for don kidnap me tey tey.

Also na every week police and mopol dey enter the yard come take their own igbo or come collect igbo tax from Nwachukwu. There get one time wey one guy come steal for the yard, oh boy, na us ginger the guy o. Come see as webeat the guy, come naked am a,d frog-jump him sotay he come dey cry and beg .

Oh boy, it was fun then o but God don commot me from that place.