Am a man whose wife denies sex most time not bcs she hate to have sex with me but bec she is not intrested in sex at all, no mater how intresting it is to have sex with me according to her. faithfulness, that i know very well that she is, could it be that it is her work that is distorbing her. she is also an extrovert,she doesn't even know how to show her  anger.  Do it even when my friends visits or outside the house,  no mater where both of us is. she allways send me to an errand when i don't do it, she says i do not care, i am a rig worker imagine staying there for 2weeks,when i come back i will have nobody to lay my head on her shoulder,just bcs she is working,when she comes back she will say she is tired. whenever i come back i go to the kitchen by myself melt already prepared food which is in the freezers, i stay in the house all alone,dont have any friend again just bcs.of the way she react some times to them.and i love this woman so much. what will i do? i have tried talking to her,but come to realize that is part of her, that she cant change even if she tries .  two years of mariage with a daughter. please suggestions. what will you do if you are in my shoes?

Wahala wa!

You need to do deep self-examination. Didn't you noticed those traits before you marry her? How did you end up in that mess?

Well, o ba ni ko ti baje. It is not too bad. You can still work it out or walk out.

a friend of mine had the same problem with his wifey sometimes back
she denies him shagging and whenever they want to do it , it is the woman that dictates the terms and condition.
she is too religious, that is what my friend thinks, until he catches her doing it doggy style with her former boyfriend in his house!

ooboy yawa deoo, me i cant tell what to doo imagine the key things we make up marriage
my people make una help am b4 the man go commit suicideoo. plenty uwahala de marriageoo

[quote][/quote]man whose wife denies sex most time, she doesn't even know how to show her anger. Do it even when my friends visits or outside the house, no mater where both of us is, allways send me to an errand when i don't do it, she says i do not care

If a woman hates having sex with her husband it boils down to one thing: there is love lost, she is not entirely happy in that marriage and the best way to start is to find out if she has anything disturbing her about it, some ladies enters marriage for economical stability and once there they will start seeing some other sides of the guy that irritates them. I said this because i have a cousin who married this particular guy becuase the guys is 'loaded' i mean the guy is really loaded. I really don't know if she did not notice that the guy has complex and that he blows 'killing oyinbo' before she was all over her. After some time despite all the money and affection showered on her she began to hate the guy and confided in another cousin that she just hates the 'local' way the guy talks, acts and behaves.

Start by trying to find out if there is something she is not paricularly pleased with in you or about the marriage, i pray it works out because it could be killing staying in a marriage where love is not present.

Sorry i didnt read the post very well, i was doing something else while reading it. I just read the first part now and it says that not that she hates having sex with you but she hates having sex. Its a serious problem if you as the husband loves sex i know how it feels and i will just advise that you try and see if anything could help her. I wish the lady is someone i could talk to because i was once a 'hater' of sex and no matter what i never enjoyed sex, i am much better now and my husband is much happy now. Unfurtunately i can not be saying the things i tried that made the difference because it may not go down well with some people. Search your mind and keep trying she may change one day.

What i dont understand is why she would not even be available to play with you, if that is the case she may have something against you that she is keeping on mind try to make her speak so you could address it. Good luck

show her more love, maybe your not doing enough.

You can't be dying in silence, confront your wife!!!

why can't Seun just change this forum to Helpland

@poster,was she like this b4 you married her or what?
sit her down and talk with her. . .i dont just get you,are you scared of her?let her give you reasons and let her know you are a man too,you have feelings and all.On another note,maybe there is someone else.maybe the loves lost.goodluck anyway.

ndchucks:

Am a man whose wife denies sex most time not bcs she hate to have sex with me but bec she is not intrested in sex at all, no mater how intresting it is to have sex with me according to her. faithfulness, that i know very well that she is, could it be that it is her work that is distorbing her. she is also an extrovert,she doesn't even know how to show her anger. Do it even when my friends visits or outside the house, no mater where both of us is. she allways send me to an errand when i don't do it, she says i do not care, i am a rig worker imagine staying there for 2weeks,when i come back i will have nobody to lay my head on her shoulder,just bcs she is working,when she comes back she will say she is tired. whenever i come back i go to the kitchen by myself melt already prepared food which is in the freezers, i stay in the house all alone,don't have any friend again just bcs.of the way she react some times to them.and i love this woman so much. what will i do? i have tried talking to her,but come to realize that is part of her, that she can't change even if she tries . two years of mariage with a daughter. please suggestions. what will you do if you are in my shoes?

You guys are operating from total opposites. When you are around on your 2 weeks off, you have too much layback time. On her part she is busy as per work. When she gets back from work she is exhausted especially with Nigerian traffic. Apparently the only time you guys have is 2 weekends in a month which is totally not enough for you, remembering that you will be on the rig the next 2 weeks without sex. With you daughter running around the house during the day on those days (2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays) day time action is next to impossible.

I know you have talked with her, but call her again and talk about your sex life, identifying the limitations and possibilities, with each party meeting each other halfway.

@poster,

Your problem is very small.  Just Ignore her and mind your own part of the marriage.  One person will soon leave on his or her own accord.  As for the sex, I know that is difficult especially if you do not want to cheat. You have to be strong and let her overcome whatever is bothering her.  Concentrate on yourself and your daughter for now.

You have talked to her and she is not willing to listen.  Ignore her for a change and try to make youself happy in one way or another.  Marriage is a difficult thing to deal with.  I think she is living her teenage years over again.  Let her miss you a little bit.  Talk less to her and pay her less attention.  Give her the silent treatment and let her wonder about what is going on with you for a change.  I think you are making her feel too important.  I would not find such a woman sexy even if I was a starving dog in the heat!

Nothing as unattractive as a disrespectful pussy/deeeek, especially in a marriage!  No value whatsoever, so I really cannot understand what the bluff is all about.  I don't know how some men do it.  Will still want to sleep with a woman who is disrespectful and does not bring up any romantic thoughts in my brain.

Please try another approach.  Do not let this woman allow you to lose your job, keep you enstranged from your daughter or your friends and lead you to the depths of depression.  Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends. When you feel that you have come to the end of your rope. . .you know what to do.

I believe in giving people long ropes, especially in a marriage.  What they decide to do with it is their business.  But when I say it is over. . . it might be just over, especially if one gives me the opportunity to look outside my matrimonial home! No going back then! This woman is pressing her luck and I wish her all the best!

Be a man and handle your affairs like a man.  Goodluck!

Unfurtunately i can not be saying the things i tried that made the difference because it may not go down well with some people

why are yopu so sure?