4Him:

We can fantasise all we want on "love conquers all" . . . that one only exists in novels.
Spiritual compatibility between couples is very essential for a marriage to work.
The bible says little foxes spoil the vine . . . after the lovey dovey honey moon period when both man and wife settle into the routine of married life, it is those tiny little differences "that didnt matter" while they were dating that will draw them apart.

The only way such marriages will work is if one or both of the couples is simply practicing his or her religion on paper only.
It is hard to see how you will cope with a husband who wants his children dressed taliban-style while you struggle to meet up with bible study.

Excuse me sir, you say the bolded part of your post so matter of factly, I have to wonder. . .is it your Christianhood/Christiandom (take your pick) which gives you such insight to make a judgement like this?

And the taliban-style dressing? I'm sorry but I don't know what this means? What I do know is that in the all of the years my father was alive, I've never seen him dress in anything but his traditional attires for parties, jeans and shirt for lounging and buisness suits for work.  Neither did he ever force any of his sons (four of them) to wear anything out of the ordinary.

By the way, in the times we live in, the word Taliban connotes something dangerous. . .I don't know if that's what you were going for but if it is, I must say. . . it's sad that we choose to see things through an extremist point of view.

Thanks Joshjosh . . . and i wish you the same.

joshjosh:

anyway love they say is blind but marriage is an eye opener. the road to hell is always full of good intensions.

i like to be proved wrong but these kind of relationships are always presure cooker relationships.

Excellent point, it is easy to rubbish the impact spiritual compatibility has on a couple when u're just dating. However a prudent man always looks beyond the present.
The fact that there are a sprinkling of relationships that have survived differences in religion between the couple should not blindfold us to the fact that the vast majority of those marriages end up in disaster.
the divorce rate is higher that it has ever been . . . it does not invalidate the fact that some marriages are still going strong.
We will do well to take heed to the words of wisdom and not allow wild passions to take over our ability to see through the foggy future.

Sisikill:

Excuse me sir, you say the bolded part of your post so matter of factly, I have to wonder. . .is it your Christianhood/Christiandom (take your pick) which gives you such insight to make a judgement like this?

Not everything you disagree with should be categorised as judging.

Sisikill:

And the taliban-style dressing? I'm sorry but I don't know what this means? What I do know is that in the all of the years my father was alive, I've never seen him dress in anything but his traditional attires for parties, jeans and shirt for lounging and buisness suits for work. Neither did he ever force any of his sons (four of them) to wear anything out of the ordinary.

By the way, in the times we live in, the word Taliban connotes something dangerous. . .I don't know if that's what you were going for but if it is, I must say. . . it's sad that we choose to see things through an extremist point of view.

If everyone were your father . . . what a wonderful world this would be. We wont have to put up topics such as this.

4Him:

Siskill and damola are making me take more than a second look at this issue.

LOL. . .and that is what makes life interesting. Can you imagine how boring it would be if we could only see the outside world through one window? Yikes. . .I know, I'd slit my throat from boredom.

Cheers, friend. . .it's been fun sparring with you.

@Damola

We dey Fight?? One man's suya is another man's lost Dog. No other faith satisfies me like Christianity, This is my marriage we are talking about not Boyfriend Girlfriend situation. Yeah, I'm old school like that !!

Excellent point, it is easy to rubbish the impact spiritual compatibility has on a couple when u're just dating. However a prudent man always looks beyond the present.
The fact that there are a sprinkling of relationships that have survived differences in religion between the couple should not blindfold us to the fact that the vast majority of those marriages end up in disaster.
the divorce rate is higher that it has ever been . . . it does not invalidate the fact that some marriages are still going strong.
We will do well to take heed to the words of wisdom and not allow wild passions to take over our ability to see through the foggy future.

Excuse me sir, people from different religious background have more to prove, they usually scale through more!!,  they are very few, but I can tell you, it's the best family to be born in, it difusses a lot of rubbish!!!,  it opens your eyes to the hypocritical nature of others,

This is not about wild passions, it's about love, yes, my brother, love,  there's no wisdom in throwing away love, and the future is super bright,  Guy, leave all this story,  think deeply about this matter before you decide you cannot tolerate someone you wish to spend the next 60years with.

See, religion won't take you through it, I stand to be corrected, but why is it that, in most religious countries like Nigeria, Somalia, Indonesia, Sudan there's always fighting, and why is it that in places like Japan, USA, france, where they criticise people lesser about their religious background they are happier and living large,  and each family make a nation, so our society is a reflection of our individual families.

Guy,  don't throw away love, just because you think say, your spirituality will keep you there for the next 60years,  kai, 

Don't however miss the fact that, people of the same spiritual inclination have the tendency of keeping it together,  stronger, but this same reason is why they tamper with each other privacy until it breaks, 

I told you this thing is a complex thing!!!,  for me again, I love beautiful things, sexy things, sweet sweet things, and if na she, then whether na budda or hinda, I go follow am, if I have a problem with the budda or hinda thing, while dating, I will know, and will cross it out, but I will never for once judge people before I get to know them.

Its just like saying all Nigerians are scammers?,

We dey Fight?? One man's suya is another man's lost Dog. No other faith satisfies me like Christianity, This is my marriage we are talking about not Boyfriend Girlfriend situation. Yeah, I'm old school like that !!

Well, you are absolutely right my guy, it's your choice, but my point is simple: be open. Please, be open, it'll make you succeed faster in everything you do.

Old skool, is not a good enough reason. Marriage is a union that was meant to last, and last long. What will keep you afloat is not because you listen to listen to the same pastor , it's because you love her, and I define that as: her booty reports, she can cook, she's kind, she's sweet in bed, so many things chairman, so many.

Please be open, thats all I ask,

@poster
i feel ur pain

But we all go into such relationships hoping that when we get to d bridge we will cross it,

but as it always happens d bridge is bigger than we expect. the truth is religion is a every important aspect of marriage, this we have to discuss immediately you know d relationship is becoming something more. if it is not address d problems that will arise is capable of destroying d whole marriage and will also cause a great problem for your offsprings.

For me, i will definitely end it[size=14pt][/size]. as it is, am not a strong person religiously. so my marriage will also be meant to strengthen my faith.

@Damola

Open my @--. If you see what these Islamic fundamentalists are doing all over the world you wouldn't want anything to do with that religion. I'm open to Christianity.

You just dropped the bombed. And you do not have that right to judge any religion simply because you assume.

Listen, I mentioned earlier that I had been a moslem then a christian. You know the interesting thing,  The Great Religion is a sound religion with sound principles, some of what shaped by personality today I have learnt from being a moslem.

For example, I never touched a woman while I was a moslem and largely because the moslem religion does not tolerate thievery thats why I am not a yahoo boy.

You don't know the moslem religion, please be careful how you express yourself about it, and on top of this,  don't forget many of us young chaps are mere casual xtians and moslems, so we don't really know anything in fact!,  only what they say.

depends on the religion and how fundamental her beliefs are. is she a moderate or a strong follower

Easier said than done. marry someone from a different religion and see how much a conflict you have brought to your home. My parents brought me up with a compulsory morning devotions with dad ringing that Humongous bell than the stairs for us to get up. Uniformity brings understanding and closeness. How do i take my wife to a church ceremony that is very important Or what path of religion do we set the kids on? your religion does not determine how good of a person you are but a proper religious teachings set you on a good path. What type of religion tells you to go strap belt bomb around your waist and blow innocent folks up? What kind of Teachings is that?

What type of religion tells you to go strap belt bomb around your waist and blow innocent folks up? What kind of Teachings is that?

those are extremist muslims, not all of them are like that.

@bawolomo

Extremist or not even Prophet Muhammad was an extremist. I'm prejudice, i just got some principles about life and living and religion happens to be one of them !!

I can see that you are stubborn and you won't listen.

Maybe you should read my earlier post, my parents have proven otherwise: 25years down the line, they look fit for 50 more years, If you like, go and marry because she prays a lot, na you know!!!

And if you like, fall in love, scrutinize your believes and analyse things and see if it will just work, na you know, !!!

No body no pass, we all just been hit the keyboard from wetin we think and experience and see, what's good for the goose, might not be good for the gander,

One love my people, one love,

My parents have been married for close to 45 years and being the last born see how faith and love strengthens a family. Those believes and devotions protected every body in the house and carries us through the day not to mention the countless of blessing s received. Lord, I love you even though i don't always do your will.

Busta:

Its all naija mentality like I kept saying.

nada, i think u're just naive.

Busta:

I recently attending a beautiful wedding. The bride is pure white and a xtian and the groom is a moslem and from somewhere in the middle east . . .his last name is even "Jihad".

the wedding was sooooo beautiful. Since they were both from different religion and was to be joined in matrimony.

All divorces started out with weddings that were "soooooo beautiful" . . . unfortunately a soooo beautiful wedding is not a barometer of how the marriage eventually ends up.

Busta:

They opted for an outdoor ceremony. There was both a pastor and Imam present. The pastor did his part and the iman did his part. At the end of the day . . .they were pronounced "Mr and Mrs Jihad". You need to see both men of God relate with each other and laughed and ate . . . all together!

This is all too superficial. Whether the "men of God" related well or ate separately . . . what matters most is the strength of the marriage they just "blessed".
The fact that both parties insisted on having their separate religious leaders present is already a red flag . . . neither is subconsciously ready to compromise just yet.

Busta:

Tell me now people. . . why didn't the pastor condemn her and reign bible passages on her not to marry the guy. Why did the pastor even show up in the first place? And the Imam, why did he encourage the guy the go with the wedding?

They were both "contracted" for the wedding . . .

Busta:

No one is God, so why judge other people and their religion?

Absurd. God in the bible HAS CONDEMNED those who choose to reject His sacrifice on the cross of calvary.

You can tell Mr and Mrss Jihad to come down to the south and look for a job.


And See what these rednecks do to that name.

one word: "Ignorance"
you don't have to agree with me and I don't have to agree with ya

Like I always end my postings. . . .every man to each his own.
at the end of the day, You will have to carry your own darn Cross and I'll carry mine.

damola1:

For example, I never touched a woman while I was a moslem

and you think hindus and christianity condones adultery and fornication? 1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

damola1:

and largely because the moslem religion does not tolerate thievery thats why I am not a yahoo boy.

There are no yahoo yahoo boys in Japan . . . is it largely because of Is'lam?
Did your christian background encourage thievery?

damola1:

You don't know the moslem religion, please be careful how you express yourself about it, and on top of this,  don't forget many of us young chaps are mere casual xtians and moslems, so we don't really know anything in fact!,  only what they say.

Neither do you understand christianity.

Would You End A Beautiful Relationship Over Religious Differences?  Why should i?

At the end of the day, i am the MAN here.
A woman marrying me will share ma last name and adopt ma religion irrespective of what she was before we got married.
This is no issue at all unless u are looking at it from a woman's angle.

Busta:

one word: "Ignorance"
you don't have to agree with me and I don't have to agree with ya

Like I always end my postings. . . .every man to each his own.
at the end of the day, You will have to carry your own darn Cross and I'll carry mine.

_*yawn*
Its not a question of agreeing with you or not . . . its a question of reality. We've seen soooooooo beautiful weddings before . . . 50% of them end in divorce within 2 yrs.

I dont also remember anyone volunteering to help u carry ur cross.

Chacal:

Would You End A Beautiful Relationship Over Religious Differences? Why should i?

At the end of the day, i am the MAN here.
A woman marrying me will share ma last name and adopt ma religion irrespective of what she is before we got married.
This is no issue at all unless u are looking at it from a woman's angle.

That is the advantage men have, which is the reason most of the males here dont really care about this issue.
It is also one of the reason i'm not so bothered too. I have a choice to choose who i will marry, what my kids will grow up to be . . . women sadly dont have so much room to manouvre . . . which is why i wonder why so many of them are willing to jump naively into such an important project as marriage.

4Him:

Not everything you disagree with should be categorised as judging.

But you are judging when you say emphatically that these people are simply practicing their religion on paper.

If everyone were your father . . . what a wonderful world this would be. We wont have to put up topics such as this.

ALL the men in my lives who are M u s l i m s are like that.
ALL the men I've come across at one time or the other who are M u s l i ms are like that.
ALL my friends' Fathers who are m u s l i m s are like that

But that's not the point is it? See, I deliberately misunderstood what you meant when you said Taliban. . .I know what you are really talking about is the extreme Jihadist who took what was supposed to be a something good and used it for their own agenda? Have you ever tried researching what Jihad really means? I’ll save you the trouble. . .in the simplest way I can put it without going into much detail, it means striving to improve one’s self and society. Is that what the Bible also calls for? Don't you get it? Just because a certain sect of one religion decide to take a portion of their Holy book and use it as an excuse to be destructive, does not mean everyone of that religion is like that.

That's like me saying The Church of God with Signs Following is the epitome of what all churches are.  In case you haven’t heard about them, they believe in carrying snakes around and drinking poison as part of their religious services. If the snake bites you while you are holding it, it means you are not a true Christian or that you have no faith. I hope you are gasping in shock wondering where they got that notion. . .wonder no more my friend, just check out Mark 16:17 -18 . Many have died because of this practice . . . where is the chant of Terrorist?

Ever wonder why Jehovah’s Witnesses refuses blood transfusions in spite of the numerous evidences that a pint of blood can save lives? Because it’s in the Bible . . . Acts 15:28 – 29 and Gen 9: 3 -4. Many have died because of this practice . . . do you call them terrorist?

And for funsies. . .ever wonder why some Jehovah witness churches don’t have windows? Some say it’s to keep the outside world away, others say it to keep the devil away and even more say it’s to avoid persecution. Seriously?!!

Every religion has its extremists and it's hypocritical look focus on one while turning a blind eye to the other.

When we say people of different religion I keep asking: What about people of same religion and different denominations?

I asked because I go to RCCG and my wife is a confirmed Catholic where I wedded her.  Our parents wanted to make that an issue because my mom is a Gbim Gbim, Bible Preaching, Tongue Speaking, Demon Chasing Baptist while her mom is a confirmed CWO chairperson. You see how difficult?  But we promised our selves one thing and that was that it was never going to be an issue.  AND IT HAS NEVER BEEN.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW I WOULD HAVE FELT HAD I MISSED THIS WOMAN COS OF church as it is not religion in our own case

4Him:

_*yawn*
Its not a question of agreeing with you or not . . . its a question of reality. We've seen soooooooo beautiful weddings before . . . 50% of them end in divorce within 2 years.

I don't also remember anyone volunteering to help u carry your cross.  

I honestly thot u made sense before but now I know ur brain don't seems to be functioning properly.
So quick to conclude and think u know better.

and u say u ain't judging . . . .

as for the cross, That was nothing but an adduce.

@ topic
I won't get into it in the first place. I'm not so blinded by love, other important stuff to look out for when it comes to marriage.

What type of religion tells you to go strap belt bomb around your waist and blow innocent folks up? What kind of Teachings is that?

ROTFLMAO. . .Please tell me this is a joke? No one could possibly have said this with a straight face? Ay yi yi. . .we have a long way to go.

Sisikill:

But you are judging when you say emphatically that these people are simply practicing their religion on paper.

I think the term "judging" is grossly over used. That i express an oppinion that is different from yours does not indicate a judgemental attitude. Would i be right to say you are judging for accusing me of judging when i'm not?

Sisikill:

ALL the men in my lives who are M u s l i m s are like that.
ALL the men I've come across at one time or the other who are M u s l i ms are like that.
ALL my friends' Fathers who are m u s l i m s are like that

Well, marry them all first and report back to us.
It is one thing to know a man as an uncle, friend, cousin . . . it is another to know him as a husband.

Sisikill:

Have you ever tried researching what Jihad really means? I’ll save you the trouble. . .in the simplest way I can put it without going into much detail, it means striving to improve one’s self and society.

Go rewrite the kooran and hadiths then.

Sisikill:

Is that what the Bible also calls for? Don't you get it? Just because a certain sect of one religion decide to take a portion of their Holy book and use it as an excuse to be destructive, does not mean everyone of that religion is like that.

i never said such.

Sisikill:

That's like me saying The Church of God with Signs Following is the epitome of what all churches are.  In case you haven’t heard about them, they believe in carrying snakes around and drinking poison as part of their religious services. If the snake bites you while you are holding it, it means you are not a true Christian or that you have no faith. I hope you are gasping in shock wondering where they got that notion. . .wonder no more my friend, just check out Mark 16:17 -18 . Many have died because of this practice . . . where is the chant of Terrorist?

Your analogy is fatally flawed. A group is judged by the very book it derives its laws from . . . the bible does not encourage neither did it say a peep about the man-made practices you describe above.

Sisikill:

Ever wonder why Jehovah’s Witnesses refuses blood transfusions in spite of the numerous evidences that a pint of blood can save lives? Because it’s in the Bible . . . Acts 15:28 – 29 and Gen 9: 3 -4. Many have died because of this practice . . . do you call them terrorist?

1. The bible didnt tell us not to accept blood transfusions - another man-made doctrine that you hypocrites use to deflect terrorism in is'lam.
2. They become terrorists when they fly aircraft to go kill innocent Spaniards. If mooslims were only killing themselves by denying blood transfusions no one would give a bother.

Sisikill:

And for funsies. . .ever wonder why some Jehovah witness churches don’t have windows? Some say it’s to keep the outside world away, others say it to keep the devil away and even more say it’s to avoid persecution. Seriously?!!

Did you read such nonsense in the bible?

Sisikill:

Every religion has its extremists and it's hypocritical look focus on one while turning a blind eye to the other.

There are hindu extremists, i just dont care because they dont bother the rest of the outside world.

@topic  . . .YES and a resounding YES
a house divided esp in religious issues cannot stand.

can we all just get along??