am this kind of person that likes phone communication with a loved one, for God's sake, i don't even need you to call, i will call you and talk as much as i want.

but my friend is this quiet type that finds it difficult to engage in discussions, she prefers once in a while call rather than all this everyday talk on the phone.

now i have this firm believe that since we are working in different states, the easier way for me to know her is by engaging her on the phone regularly.

sometimes i might have an urgent need to discuss something with her, she will not pick or return my calls, sometimes over a day, and i am like, is it that you did not see the missed calls or you did not feel it is important to return the missed call.

am now thinking of getting someone else that i can always pour out my heart to anytime i feel like i can not hold it anymore while still keeping her as my friend as i still love her dearly. i just need to satisfy myself and also keep the relationship going.

Advise!

Advice? You are clingy. Get a life, man.

bloody talkative!
go get a day job and stop haranguing the poor lady on the fone with your tale of woes. if you get another friend, she would ignore your calls as well unless she's a good-for-nothing idle mind like yourself.

Interesting to meet a auditory-stimulated guy

I know someone who is like you
Well one suggestion is to use chats, SMS and web links to pass topical stuff, happenings around you and then have a round off chat in the evenings
This way you take into cognisance her schedule which may not be talk-friendly

You then discuss your concerns and bring the above as a possible solution

If it does not work, then you can move on or manage if she has other virtues you dig

kool J: Advice? You are clingy. Get a life, man.

Thank u, i think i need to work on myself and free her small lol

@kool J], coogar

Guys it does not mean he is clingy or jobless
He is just a 90s man....
Attitudes & Comments like this are what make men seem to be stone - hearted and supposedly insensitive

He may want to run some thoughts on investments, office politics by someone removed from his surroundings and get a fresh perspective on stuff


OP if it is really important to you, go for it

coogar: bloody talkative!
go get a day job and stop haranguing the poor lady on the fone with your tale of woes. if you get another friend, she would ignore your calls as well unless she's a good-for-nothing idle mind like yourself.

Oga am not really idle, somehow i think am more busy in the office than she does. its just that, i feel after work, possibly by night one should call a loved to share work and related experiences of the day.

i think you are being too harsh on me man

biolabee: @kool J], coogar

Guys it does not mean he is clingy or jobless
He is just a 90s man....
Attitudes & Comments like this are what make men seem to be stone - hearted and supposedly insensitive

He may want to run some thoughts on investments, office politics by someone removed from his surroundings and get a fresh perspective on stuff


OP if it is really important to you, go for it

Thanks my guy. i have just been transferred newly to this place. i don't have any friend around here to hang out with. i prefer to stay at home and gist with my friend but as she is not available mehn life has to go on.

biolabee: Interesting to meet a auditory-stimulated guy

I know someone who is like you
Well one suggestion is to use chats, SMS and web links to pass topical stuff, happenings around you and then have a round off chat in the evenings
This way you take into cognisance her schedule which may not be talk-friendly

You then discuss your concerns and bring the above as a possible solution

If it does not work, then you can move on or manage if she has other virtues you dig

Thanks all the same, she does not do social media at all. i will try to discuss with her anyway.

chyseth:
Oga am not really idle, somehow i think am more busy in the office than she does. its just that, i feel after work, possibly by night one should call a loved to share work and related experiences of the day.

i think you are being too harsh on me man

i am not harsh.....
just telling you as it is. never leave yourself in the position where your calls would be ignored. in short, don't ever call any woman unless she has begged 5 times to make that call. use your text message, BBM or whatever applies to pass the message across. calling should be the last resort when all other avenues have been tried.

biolabee: @kool J], coogar
Guys it does not mean he is clingy or jobless
He is just a 90s man....
Attitudes & Comments like this are what make men seem to be stone - hearted and supposedly insensitive

but that's exactly how men should be - stonehearted!
i doubt any woman wants a guy that calls them every time. they simply don't like such overbearing partners so it's better you don't even attempt calling at all. if she wants to hear your voice, she would ask for it.

He may want to run some thoughts on investments, office politics by someone removed from his surroundings and get a fresh perspective on stuff
OP if it is really important to you, go for it

let him run all those tales with his male friends.......
a man should stand a man - not an object to be ridiculed by the female species.

biolabee: @kool J], coogar

Guys it does not mean he is clingy or jobless
He is just a 90s man....
Attitudes & Comments like this are what make men seem to be stone - hearted and supposedly insensitive

He may want to run some thoughts on investments, office politics by someone removed from his surroundings and get a fresh perspective on stuff


OP if it is really important to you, go for it

Are u kidding me? I've seen this time and time again. This is a sure sign of being clingy/needy. Have interacted/got quite close to a few of them that I might as well spot one from a writeup on his expectations. He ALWAYS wants her to be there for him, feels she's obligated to talk to him. Heck,he feels bad if they don't talk in a daya and u tell me he's just being old school? Lol. I don't wish u a clingy friend/mate cuz trust me,its hell when someone wants to be with/talk with u every blinking moment. It would help if he could be busier than he already is. She's prolly pissed off at him n doesn't know how to show it,thus resorting to ignoring him. Not like it really works. Lol

OP, seems the lady has answered you

Tone down the calls and use SMS and bbm/whatsapp chats....

coogar:

i am not harsh.....
just telling you as it is. never leave yourself in the position where your calls would be ignored. in short, don't ever call any woman unless she has begged 5 times to make that call. use your text message, BBM or whatever applies to pass the message across. calling should be the last resort when all other avenues have been tried.




but that's exactly how men should be - stonehearted!
i doubt any woman wants a guy that calls them every time. they simply don't like such overbearing partners so it's better you don't even attempt calling at all. if she wants to hear your voice, she would ask for it.



let him run all those tales with his male friends.......
a man should stand a man - not an object to be ridiculed by the female species.

I have read through your thought. Thank you. Anyway I don't know how to do the stony heart stuff but all I think is to get some more things to distract myself with. In that case I will require less of her time.

kool J:

Are u kidding me? I've seen this time and time again. This is a sure sign of being clingy/needy. Have interacted/got quite close to a few of them that I might as well spot one from a writeup on his expectations. He ALWAYS wants her to be there for him, feels she's obligated to talk to him. Heck,he feels bad if they don't talk in a daya and u tell me he's just being old school? Lol. I don't wish u a clingy friend/mate cuz trust me,its hell when someone wants to be with/talk with u every blinking moment. It would help if he could be busier than he already is. She's prolly pissed off at him n doesn't know how to show it,thus resorting to ignoring him. Not like it really works. Lol

Thank u, but I don't really understand what you mean by being needy. Me I think the essence of a relationship is to be able to understand your partner and adjust to at least find a balance in the relationship. I don't really need to be more busy than am already are. I think what I need is a bit more distraction outside the work place. I felt pity for myself after reading through your comment.it is well

biolabee: OP, seems the lady has answered you

Tone down the calls and use SMS and bbm/whatsapp chats....

Thanks. The thread is already yielding the desired result

chyseth:
Thank u, but I don't really understand what you mean by being needy. Me I think the essence of a relationship is to be able to understand your partner and adjust to at least find a balance in the relationship. I don't really need to be more busy than am already are. I think what I need is a bit more distraction outside the work place. I felt pity for myself after reading through your comment.it is well

No need to feel pity for yourself. If u realize what you r overdoing,it'l help you take the crucial step. Give her space. When I say get busier, its not necessarily at work. Just like u opined,distractions outside work would keep you busy enough to give her space. That's if she feels you are smolthering her. On the other hand,it could be that she's been only trudging along after you in the relationship and is now evaluating her actions. Either way,she needs space. U do too so u could move on. Afterall, life always goes on

kool J:

No need to feel pity for yourself. If u realize what you r overdoing,it'l help you take the crucial step. Give her space. When I say get busier, its not necessarily at work. Just like u opined,distractions outside work would keep you busy enough to give her space. That's if she feels you are smolthering her. On the other hand,it could be that she's been only trudging along after you in the relationship and is now evaluating her actions. Either way,she needs space. U do too so u could move on. Afterall, life always goes on

I can understand. But let me please ask. Is once in a day call too much to ask for in a relationship

chyseth:
I can understand. But let me please ask. Is once in a day call too much to ask for in a relationship

No its not for most people. Talk to her and find out what's ok for her

This brings it home to you man

Women say they want to be engaged in discussions ie being carried along bla bla bla but in their heart they see such guys as a sissie

In a relationship it is expected that there should be nothing else but yarns as understanding is key here because inevitably the yarnings will reduce once you are married (familiarity) yet you're being perceived as a wuss
And even a woman feels so!

So you should read between the lines and keep your detached cool calm

I hope she does not accuse you of having another babe soon

Ish

Ok thanks

kool J:

No its not for most people. Talk to her and find out what's ok for her

Anyway am ok with fact that some women responded here. That have afforded me the opportunity to actually understand the problem.
Whether am continuing with relationship or not and how I intend to go about it will depend on events of the next few days that will ensue.

Thank you for ur time
quote author=biolabee]This brings it home to you man

Women say they want to be engaged in discussions ie being carried along bla bla bla but in their heart they see such guys as a sissie

In a relationship it is expected that there should be nothing else but yarns as understanding is key here because inevitably the yarnings will reduce once you are married (familiarity) yet you're being perceived as a wuss
And even a woman feels so!

So you should read between the lines and keep your detached cool calm

I hope she does not accuse you of having another babe soon

Ish[/quote]

First, must you guys dole out bad words in the bid to motivate other? KoolJ, cOOgar, why?
Guy,
Why not just find someone more suited to your characteristics? I know a couple of ladies who can talk hours on end. They bore me all the time on the phone. I hate phone calls like damn!
Nevertheless, I wouldn't suggest all that they're passing around here. No! Instead, look and you'll find someone who will never get tired of your daily calls. Need I say the person will in fact love you more for it?
Finally, never get into a long term relationship with someone who's not your type in this area, else you ask for disaster.

sauer: First, must you guys dole out bad words in the bid to motivate other? KoolJ, cOOgar, why?
Guy,
Why not just find someone more suited to your characteristics? I know a couple of ladies who can talk hours on end. They bore me all the time on the phone. I hate phone calls like damn!
Nevertheless, I wouldn't suggest all that they're passing around here. No! Instead, look and you'll find someone who will never get tired of your daily calls. Need I say the person will in fact love you more for it?
Finally, never get into a long term relationship with someone who's not your type in this area, else you ask for disaster.

so far the best advise

Bros, try and call your utility supplier or like virgin broadband, I can bet someone one would keep you company for about 1hr before you hear an indian voice.

chyseth:
Oga am not really idle, somehow i think am more busy in the office than she does. its just that, i feel after work, possibly by night one should call a loved to share work and related experiences of the day.

I feel you Chyseth; you aren't alone. We sometimes need someone to talk to and share our experiences.

Since she's not the communicating type, please move along. Find someone who's ever ready to hear you.

ferhyntorlah:

I feel you Chyseth; you aren't alone. We sometimes need someone to talk to and share our experiences.

Since she's not the communicating type, please move along. Find someone who's ever ready to hear you.

You be fine babe. Seems you guys are of the same type. Please give him control

you didn't really need to comment on this thread

wonlasewonimi: Bros, try and call your utility supplier or like virgin broadband, I can bet someone one would keep you company for about 1hr before you hear an indian voice.

some people here are claiming superman, anyway, to each according to his opinion. thanks all the same

ferhyntorlah:

I feel you Chyseth; you aren't alone. We sometimes need someone to talk to and share our experiences.

Since she's not the communicating type, please move along. Find someone who's ever ready to hear you.

Haba people, why are you people being so harsh on the OP. Communication is his love language and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. While other girls will kill over him because of his great communication skills, it seems his "girlfriend" whom he is conveniently calling a friend does not appreciate that very much.
OP, I know you have the need to communicate with your girlfriend every two minutes, but you must understand her kind of person (she is introverted or extroverted, what is her love language etc) as well as her work environment. I am personally against people whiling away their work time on private conversations on the phone. Discuss this issue with her and tell her how much you hurt when your communication is not reciprocated and you people should come to a level ground(compromise).

Cheers

Op, are you in anyway related to a certain Denrele Edun

chyseth: am this kind of person that likes phone communication with a loved one, for God's sake, i don't even need you to call, i will call you and talk as much as i want.

but my friend is this quiet type that finds it difficult to engage in discussions, she prefers once in a while call rather than all this everyday talk on the phone.

now i have this firm believe that since we are working in different states, the easier way for me to know her is by engaging her on the phone regularly.

sometimes i might have an urgent need to discuss something with her, she will not pick or return my calls, sometimes over a day, and i am like, is it that you did not see the missed calls or you did not feel it is important to return the missed call.

am now thinking of getting someone else that i can always pour out my heart to anytime i feel like i can not hold it anymore while still keeping her as my friend as i still love her dearly. i just need to satisfy myself and also keep the relationship going.

Advise!

I don't see anything wrong with calling a loved one everyday after work. I would not call you needy or clingy there is nothing wrong with you, keep being yourself. I would prefer you talk to her though and tell her you enjoy discussing issues with her and will appreciate if when she sees your missed call she sends a text to tell you she is available or to return your call and i don't think its fair on you that she ignores you. If you call her thrice everyday and want to spend 30 mins on phone per call, well this will be killing.

Why not call her after work only and reduce the time you spend on phone.

Gentleman thanks for your concern, one of the few things i have learnt from this forum is that some people don't need to understand your post to reply, all they need is to find the closest derogatory word to fire at you. to such people i just smile and get over them.
Meanwhile i wasn't advocating work time discussions on issues that are not work related. Personally i don't like using office time to discuss non office related issues. what i just want is after work hello hi which am asking whether it's such a clingy demand

Moreso, i don't know how these people suddenly tagged me a talkative, please that is not how i pick up my phone to call every tom, dick and harry just because i have an itching mouth.

nat138: Haba people, why are you people being so harsh on the OP. Communication is his love language and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. While other girls will kill over him because of his great communication skills, it seems his "girlfriend" whom he is conveniently calling a friend does not appreciate that very much.
OP, I know you have the need to communicate with your girlfriend every two minutes, but you must understand her kind of person (she is introverted or extroverted, what is her love language etc) as well as her work environment. I am personally against people whiling away their work time on private conversations on the phone. Discuss this issue with her and tell her how much you hurt when your communication is not reciprocated and you people should come to a level ground(compromise).

Cheers