emmatok: What is special about talking to a friend 2-3 hours every weekend.
What if goes out and spend thesame time with his friends.

That woman is really insecure for saying she wants divorce .

Duke_Nija:

Abeg keep quiet!
What do you know about friendship?
Any Man that loses such a great friend is a big FO.oL!

Who will he run to when Life turns sour? This kind wife?

MacLovington: .

Emmatok,

He does so every evening every day and also weekend.

If a thief admits stealing a line of yam, you will know that a whole barn if finished.

This man probably talks a lot longer.

emmatok:
Their is no stealing or cheating here.
I will suggest the OP hangout with his friend, and reduce calls when at home.
Since that's what the possessive Wify wants.

But for her to threaten him with divorce, she can go get her divorce.

coogar:

what scholarly articles are you talking about?

i might have forgotten there was something i ought to have provided.

you are my favourite sparring partner cos i always win!

ileobatojo:
That'd be the ones that don't actually exist. You only claimed they did for argument's sake. *some fabrication about hours mothers must spend with their children on weekdays.*

Not really surprising, considering the fact that they never existed in the first place!

In your dreams, mate! I win 100% of the time! And I know the good people of the family section can attest to that.

coogar:

of course they did - the video link i wanted to show you was hauled off youtube cos of copyrights!

100% win?
bahahahaha - keep deluding yourself. the only thing you are good at is witchdoctoring. no one is your equal in the whole forum. once you put that powder on one side of your face with your red miniskirts embroided with juju, you are in another realm of intelligence....

ileobatostical - i salute you!

ileobatojo:
Yeah, yeah. And the dog ate the articles right...blah, blah, blah...Just quit lying to yourself and admit that I won. Again.

shooze: With all due respect zeefa I think you are suffering from diarreha of the mouth.
You have given out way to much information about your wife and family generally and if you are this loose with your tongue I can imagine all the shyte you tell dayo about your wife. I think you should take the advice of real men like siena , chamotex , lord reed and matured ladies like cc and sis kill just to mention a few. Cut down on your phone time with your friend and spend more time with your wife. If you friend is truly a friend he should not even be told to reduce the time he spends with you. I have friends that are married and the minute they got married I cut down on how much time and activity I spent and did with them . That's what a sensible friend does

zeefa: ************************************************************************

I need to open up this new page without having to quote anyone cos so many people have done just perfect to have followed up my thrend and drop a good comment. However, I commend those with negative contributions too cos they are also part of progress am about experiencing at the moment to better my marriage.

Frankly speaking, your comments have been making waves in sorting us out a little bit cos despite the commencement of the whole problem, the calls goes on. But right now, I had to get home from work, check ppls comments on NL & May be discuss with him for just half an hour & st8t to bed.

I will use dis opportunity to answer few questions from the comments!


1. How long is the marriage btw Us?

The marriage btw Morenike & I clocked 3yrs feb 2013.


2. No of kids?

God just answered us and we are expecting a baby soon by his grace.


3. If she is a nigerian.

She finished her secondary school in Fakunle comprehensive high school in osogbo, osun state nigeria and university education in the united kingdom. we met in a friends child dedication three months after I relocated to uk.


Useful facts!

We stays in our own apartment which we bought 2011 with my share being 70% from the total cost of the properties. Although its by mortgage but all the documents were prepared under her name cos of all the rights she has over me as a UK citizen.

I know so many ppl will attack me for taken the above action but I see her as my wife and never thought of any instance that might root the case out of us in a negative way. I have accepted her after our marriage and building our home should be our topmost idea which I prioritized.

Negative comments from the Thrend.

Some people castigated my useful calls to my friend and even tag it to be a Guy stuff.....

For your information, we don't discuss issues that won't better our life....let me tell you for example, he is an electrical engineer, for the last 2ys he has been working on solar energy & innovations. And part of our crew put some finishing touches to the team that came 2 naija 2 install that of ondo state.

All we talk are based on how to develop ourselves, most especially in a land where you don't have a family that would checkmate you or give you directions.

I got converted to a xtain abt 14yrs ago in the university. Dayo is a gud Muslim but one thing that surprised me is that, that didn't stop our friendship. In fact, I tried getting him converted too but he is so principled and focus that he holds on2 his religion and never discourage my decision.

People should know that there are people out there ready to do anything just to see a smile on their fellow humans face.

I don't kw ao it goes, but I must confess all we talk about are some important issues and not those ones that would affect or be of a negative impact to us as a whole.

Dayo has 3 kids and his wife is from rivers state Bonny lady precisely! Most atyms I wonder y tribe can't really play a good impacts on our side having married a yoruba lady whom I think should understand better and keep devil off our path on the so called scenario.


Conclusion.
My MIL according to the Pastor called him on phone and the has taken a full charge of the heat. But it wasn't funny that they didn't mention the threats and warnings given to the pastor.

Well,we were both there yesterday & the pastor advised us together and called me to a separate room and insist I reduced the calls from dayo or take time to hang out weekends to discuss fatal issues if need be.

He also warned me of my MIL and said he will keep praying along side with me for a breakthrough.

******************

Right now, things are little bit down but I noticed she is always looking sick due to her condition. We didn't go to church today cos she complained of not feeling so good and vomited that I had to clean up and made her breakfast. As am updating here on NL she is on the bed sleeping after I got her hot custard & chips.

The Pastor didn't allow us to give details on the cause of the problem. He only advise us and asked us to stand as husband and wife, seeing it has one of the challenges of marriages so many atimes ppl face in life.


BUT as for me, the Q is, how do I gradually help mysf from it.... Then from what happened, I have gained a lot of things and its making me not to be too free to Mprenike again! Do I just let go & start another life with HER after her nasty threats?

I'm here 2 at least reduce that actions of mine.......but Morenike really hurt my feelings & our baby is all I look up to see right now.

***************************************************************************
I still need to call her cos we still have to settle out some critical issue that only the both of us could settle.....

I think am getting it right taken dis action?

Dayo and his family are coming to pay us a visit by 4pm today. And I hope this will

seyi42k:

Hi Zeefa,

Nollywood script or not, reality is often times stranger than fiction. Take a break from everything; posting on nairaland, talking with your friend, thinking about this issue etc. Go to disneyland or something.

You have learnt some lessons which everybody that has read this thread will add to their own lives. Points of note for you, me and everyone.

1. Never register all your assets in the name of another in the name of love. Lawyers always advice against it because of issues like the one you have mentioned. Always seek fair representation, especially in societies overly sympathetic to a gender over the other, e.g. western societies are too feminine while african societies are too masculine. Again, always seek fair representation.

2. When this is over, forgive her threats. It could be a result of hormonal changes due to the pregnancy.

3. Cut down on your calls to your friend. However, there is nothing wrong in talking to a friend for over 2 hours daily. In fact the same scenario plays out in the small company I am working with now. I and my boss were former bankers who left banking last year. It was his friend in the UK who gave him 25% of his registered company so that he can manage it. The company is a success story so far. People should go and read the story of Goldman Sachs on how a family business can become a global giant. It often starts from relationships such as yours.

Also, try to get your wife into intellectual discussions which could stimulate better communication between both of you. I have discovered that people with analytical/philosophical minds always have something to discuss every hour of the day. I always imagine myself living in the same room with Gani, Wole Soyinka and Chinua Achebe. Just imagine the quality and quantity of discussions.

4. As for your MIL. Seek counselling from your pastor.

5. Lastly, wetin all of una dey do for UK? If you are well to do, get an equivalent job in Nigeria and come make an impact here. I hear you talking about Solar for Ondo State. That is fantastic. However, it is your insistence to become a UK citizen that has given your wife an edge over you. Come back to Nigeria and build your wealth.

The company that I work, which I spoke about above, been managed by my boss has made more money than the one in the UK. Infact, the other owners are now seriously considering relocating so that their children can understand what it means to be blessed and not take things for granted.

If you have the connections that landed you a contract with the Ondo state govt. You should grow this connection and make an impact in the society while growing your wealth. This will be to the overall benefit of your family.

Please take good care of your wife.

Good luck.

peruso: TRUTH BE TOLD ABT THIS THREAD........ 90%-98% LADIES WILL TILT TOWARDS THE WOMAN, 70-79% 0F GUYS WILL TILT TOWARDS THE MAN.

WE CAN ONLY GIVE OUR OWN PIECES AS TO WHAT WE THINK, SOME OF US WILL ADVISE BASED ON- OUR RELIGION - OUR CULTURE - OUR TRIBE - OUR UPBRINGING- OUR BIAS- OR EVEN WHAT WE READ.

BUT I WONT ADVISE!!!! NO I WONT
I WILL ONLY MAKE A CANDID OBSERVATION; DID I HEAR DIVORCE DIVORCE AS IN DIVORCE,..

A HOLY INSTITUTION IS THREATEN WITH THAT WORD[b] DIVORCE[/b] BECAUSE OF WHAT!!!!!! HMMMMMMMMM

NOT BECAUSE OF CHEATING, NOT BACAUSE OF KILLING, NOT BECAUSE OF CHILDLESNESS, NOT BECAUSE OF THE BILLIONS OF REASONS WE ASSUME EVEN REASONABLE(OF WHICH THERES ALWAYS ROOM FOR FORGIVENESS).


NO COUPLE SHOULD THREATEN THE OTHER WITH DIVORCE.

BUT FOR WHAT? I ASK AGAIN

seyi42k:

With all due respect, are you the standard by which the whole world should measure? Are there not worse crime against marriage than talking to a friend?

The internet has granted a lot of us anonymity, therefore if he has sort advise on the internet, you should not be harassing him. Kindly listen to "sharing life issues with Charles B" on inspiration FM everyday to hear worse expo-see.

If a lady has decide to threaten her husband with divorce just to press home a demand, then she will likely use that same weapon again like ladies are capable of doing. The OP has probably now understood that his close relationship with his friend is threatening his marriage but he is also afraid of losing such friendship and his wife seems possessive of their relationship.

Well, God will grant him the wisdom and understanding to solve his problem but please stop berating people for such post. A lot of other people,, who might not have courage to post on the internet, learn lessons from them.

biolabee: Nice advice seyi

Steph it's not about morning sickness but simply control
Someone has spent 70 percent to buy a roof over ur head and yet divorce is so easy to spout out

SMH at some daughters of eve

steph7: Her threatening him with divorce was wrong there is no disputing that,from his post this morning I won't be surprised if she has been having hellish morning sickness and the OP was too busy with his friend to give her the attention she wanted.

Mr Tumble: Just wondering why people are bashing the OP without condemning the threat from the wife because she has RP. Disgusting as it may be, if the OP was jobless, I guess she would threaten him with food and housing too. Lets assume he cuts ties with his friend completely to please her, then tomorrow another issue comes up...since her weapon is RP threat and divorce, then she issues another one and he has no choice again than to obey threat orders. Utter rubbish. Most ladies comments and some lady-like men supporting the wife are people with similar tendency of issuing threats to their partner because of what they have or providing. I bet if the OP was their brother they will say all sorts. If it were not about RP guess Op wont be on this thread and guess wife won't have any meaningful threat. What nonsense. Terrible. @OP you either reach a compromise with her or you totally obey her threat orders. When you get your RP and the game is balance, then when any misunderstanding in your marriage comes up which is certain. Kindly come back here to tell us if she has any threat to make and what the threat is. I bet it would be weightless. Except she is feeding and housing you and probably controlling the blood supply to you heart and brain. Absolute Bullocks......

coogar:

reasons why it's dangerous to marry a brain-dead bimbo because of her curves or the size of her mammary glands. you are right - some women have nothing in their cranium intellectually. all they want to talk about is aso-ebi, latest cosmetics and vanity stuff that won't sit well with most men who are critical thinkers.....

zeefa:

Well, I don't kw what to say as per your comment. I feel she is just getting jealous unnecessarily. As regards your suggestion, if she decided to pick up calls from any of her female friends too. Franklyspeaking, I won't mind if that will make her happy.
The person in question help her get the materials for her PLAB exams & other stuffz. This person is not just a friend but a brother from another woman ready to do anything for us as a family.

My dear, I can't be given u details of my family on NL. But he has done a lot for her too especially when she was pregnant. His wife don't really complain cos he told me he has warned her never to pokenose into our affair.

But my own wife seems to be strong headed that won't just listen or understand but all she intend to do is 2 dish out the threat of a divorce.

As I said, I will call both party to a meeting on sunday, then I will give the house details on our conclusion. I pray it works, but if things go wrong, I have no choice than to let her go. I respect her a lot & I love her and I don't expect such from a woman that care & love her husband.

Besides, am so grateful for all your advise & suggestions.