alutacontinua:
I think it's going beyond threats. Unless he's ready to ruin his marriage, he should start paying attention. Seriously, what would they give as an explanation for their divorce Their reason is going to be like the most stupid reason in town and if Dayo himself is wise and matured enough, he would start backing off!

the wife can explain the reason that made her walk out of her marriage. it's not on the husband to do the explanation. he wasn't the one that called for a divorce.

He brought this upon himself, he should have dealt with it long ago but as madam CC said, he has opened up a crack in the wall and if he doesn't build it up soon, the whole building might come down crumbling.

let it come down - what does he stand to lose in the face-off?
in the op's shoes, i would not budge. if she wants to leave, she should and i would remind her once she leaves with her bags, she should never come back.

Although, I agree that he needs to make it clear to his wife that taking their issues to her mother is not welcomed by him.

the deed is already done - i won't even bother about her discussing his marital issues with her mum. she can marry her mum!

coogar:
Step 1: boot out the wife and her mum

Step 2: Move in with Dayo. Finally!
Step 3: Conspire to chase out Dayo's wife.
Step 4: Live happily ever after.

ileobatojo:
Step 2: Move in with Dayo. Finally!
Step 3: Conspire to chase out Dayo's wife.
Step 4: Live happily ever after.

dayokanu's wife is far more sensible......
she does not whinge like mrs jackson who is insecure because of her husband's male friend. if the roles are reversed. would a man walk out of his marriage because his wife spends 2 hrs with her friend? some women have the emotional make up of a toddler in pampers! i blame the op - where did he find such chic in the first place?

chaircover: ***pulls cooger close and whispers in his ear***** Oya tell your big sis the truth. I promise not to tell anyone else . . . . kid brother will you feel ok about it, if Mrs Cooger was on the phone to her friend for 2 hours every evening?
. . . . Yes!!! EVERY EVENING!!!!!

it won't bother me one jot.....
she's a friend i have always known - i know her husband and the calls do not affect my steamy bowl of beans. they can add another hour if possible. there's ruzzle, playstation and skysports to fill the void.

Eeyah! You guys have an enviable friendship. And i hope it is just that, friendship. But i understand the woman's frustration. What will a grown family man be doing, having time to gist 2 hours everyday. You guys even move to landline if the cellphone talk is not enough. Do you even have free calls with your wife. She is probably jealous, and it is understandable. She should be in that position, not your friend. The closeness between you two na wah! Maintain your friendship with him, but devote more time to your family. Those 2 hours can be cut down to 15mins or 1hour over the weekend. Spend more time enjoying your family. What do you guys even see to say everyday? Most guys dont even like to be on the phone past 15mins. I like that you guys actually pulled each other up and helped each other out while in need. The guy is a friend in deed, actions and words. Dont lose such a friend, they are rare. But let him understand your wife's reservations which are valid. Just reduce the gossip time, maybe you guys can start playing soccer together and hang out at a bar once a week. So you can talk all the talk you want

jidegirl12: @aluta you crack me up! What do you men take women for? Really? So being married means we are Nobody and worthless?

It's okay for Dayo to call the shots in OP 's home but not okay for MIL to have her daughter's back?

Like really, has it really come to this all in name of MRS?? Nauseating!

First of all, i'm not a man
Secondly, if u read my posts well, I equally blamed the op & his wife for inviting 3rd parties into trivial matters in their family.
Seems like u're mistaking me for someone else.

chaircover:
. . are you being truthful?

this is the 21st century, chaircover.
if my wife cannot spend a considerable amount of time with her friend on the phone then i might as well force her to wear burqa. mind, this is something that she's always done - i saw it during our courtship and i still proceeded to propose......where's the problem?

baby_123: Eeyah! You guys have an enviable friendship. And i hope it is just that, friendship. But i understand the woman's frustration. What will a grown family man be doing, having time to gist 2 hours everyday. You guys even move to landline if the cellphone talk is not enough. Do you even have free calls with your wife. She is probably jealous, and it is understandable. She should be in that position, not your friend. The closeness between you two na wah! Maintain your friendship with him, but devote more time to your family. Those 2 hours can be cut down to 15mins or 1hour over the weekend. Spend more time enjoying your family. What do you guys even see to say everyday? Most guys dont even like to be on the phone past 15mins. I like that you guys actually pulled each other up and helped each other out while in need. The guy is a friend in deed, actions and words. Dont lose such a friend, they are rare. But let him understand your wife's reservations which are valid. Just reduce the gossip time, maybe you guys can start playing soccer together and hang out at a bar once a week. So you can talk all the talk you want

This is a sensible response

OP,

Is your wife working? Does she have friends yet in the UK? If she doesnt she might see you as the only outlet and you talking with friends on phone is taking out of her time.

because I think atimes when partners dont have any other life aside from each other it might become choking.
No matter the love you still crave the lonely time to yourself where you can do anything you wished,

On Saturdays, Sundays and midweek I like watching football or sports and after the game call friends who are fans and discuss it argue and make fun of each other. My partner has to understand that

Woman go shopping, massage, manicure, Hair dressing salon, hang out with female friends and share female gist

Guys argue football, politics, past life, work place issues, future business plans, common friends, go to bar or stadium etc

Its not everytime that your partner must be on your neck and talking there are other people in your life too

chaircover:
Truth be told, courtship is different from marriage which I am sure you know. What was acceptable then may not be OK now. Maybe, You wouldn't think anything of spending a certain percentage of your salary on a pair of shoes when you were courting but now that you are married you have more responsibilities and you cant do that anymore.

chaircover, it depends.....
this guy owes his entire life's journey to his friend. they are more than the word "friend" can describe. i agree a man should spend quality time with his wife but this is not even the issue. the wife is pissed her husband spends 2 hrs with his friend not because he doesn't spend time at all with her.

Seriously, I dont see how you can do a whole days work, commute home, eat, wind down, spend quality time . . .I am going to say that in caps QUALITY TIME!!! with your family . . . and still have time for a 2 hour phone call everyday . . I am also assuming that he calls other people too from time to time, so some evenings he could be on the phone for much longer than 2 hours.

if he closes by 5 pm - there's more than enough hours left during the day to squeeze 2 hrs to speak to his friend. that's 2 hrs in the 5-6 hrs he's got before he goes to bed. the wife still gets the lion share so what's the fuss? for instance, i watch football 2 hrs during the week except fridays......would i drop that routine because of a wife? hell no.....

Like I said earlier . . .there has been no mention of compromise anywhere. Let him try that first and see if it helps sort things out.

there are some things you cannot compromise - my football hours cannot be compromise and i know host of other men like that too. wifey should be grateful the husband is at home spending 2 hrs on the phone with his friend - it could be a whorehouse, betting shops or the pub around the corner!

^^After the game, does your husband call friends to discuss the game and argue it for a while?

Most guys do it. Even on NL after a game guys congregate in the Sport section to analyse for hours. This happens every Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and atimes Monday and Thursday

You cant suddenly leave all that because you are married.

because one is married doesnt mean other aspect of life is dead

If its a world cup final, Champions league fina, Superbowl final, NBA finals For most guys only a matter of life and death would make them shift

Some people commit suicide, refuse food or go into depression after the game, So sexy moves at these times might be ignored

And dont turn it to "So football matters more than me" or Choose between football and me" you might be surprised at the response at that point in time

chaircover: cooger it depends on where he works and how far he has to commute. it is not unusual for some people to get home as late as 7.30pm.

he probably closes very early to be able to squeeze 2 hrs everyday - but that point is moot. did she complain before they married is the crux - i am not going to dwell on the act, i would rather concentrate on why calling his friend was okay before marriage and why it's suddenly offensive after marriage

Football hmmmmmmmm!!!!!! . . .as we speak my husband is downstairs watching football, but I still have access to him. If I want to, I can go and sit with him or ask him to come upstairs and watch it on the bedroom TV. Infact if I want football totally canceled and the game put on record, I know what buttons to press . . .a phonecall however is different. The wife is excluded and she has no access to her husband for those 2 hours. So there is a big difference.

i know football is a big issue for couples in the uk.
in the summer, women celebrate the end of the football league like the 2nd coming of Christ. women should understand there's nothing else to do apart from stay at home and yell at the referee on TV.

the husband should make himself accessible during his calls to his friend.

dayokanu:
And dont turn it to "So football matters more than me" or Choose between football and me" you might be surprised at the response at that point in time

hahahaha
there was an opinion poll the other year where some men in the uk said they would readily abstain from sex for one year to watch their football team play in a stadium.

dayokanu: ^^After the game, does your husband call friends to discuss the game and argue it for a while?

Most guys do it. Even on NL after a game guys congregate in the Sport section to analyse for hours. This happens every Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and atimes Monday and Thursday

You cant suddenly leave all that because you are married.

because one is married doesnt mean other aspect of life is dead

I totally support everyone having their own life and friends outside of their marriage. But obviously reasonable and responsible friends. It makes life more interesting for the couple. Not being all needy, clingy and boring everyday! Especially if one party is a social type of person. But everything should be done in moderation and with consideration to their spouse.

alutacontinua:

First of all, i'm not a man
Secondly, if u read my posts well, I equally blamed the op & his wife for inviting 3rd parties into trivial matters in their family.
Seems like u're mistaking me for someone else.

Not a mistake, it was a response to your last paragraph ..... It's obvious there's no such thing as boundary in that home, he spends ample time with Dayo and he calls the shots too btw both families, so why frown at mil's interference?

2 hrs 24/7 ? Heck can't imagine how he does it after a long day. Chats , bbm I can deal but staying on the phone 2 hrs everyday with same person?? Nah.

#Just saying

He and our son discuss it but they are both within earshot

Of course marriage does not stop you being an individual but it should reduce you from being just a ME ME ME person and to be considerate towards your partner. Its not just all about you now. It should be more of "us"

chaircover: He and our son discuss it but they are both within earshot

Of course marriage does not stop you being an individual but it should reduce you from being just a ME ME ME person and to be considerate towards your partner. Its not just all about you now. It should be more of "us"

You are lucky he has a grown up son to discuss with For a man who is newly married, has only daughters, whose son in too young to discuss. He has to call friends

He could have gone to the bar to watch which would take him away from home for about 5hrs or more but he is at home at least you dey see am say he dey here and not "Maybe he dey with another woman or getting into mischief"

chaircover: He and our son discuss it but they are both within earshot

Of course marriage does not stop you being an individual but it should reduce you from being just a ME ME ME person and to be considerate towards your partner. Its not just all about you now. It should be more of "us"

exactly....
and i am sure you join in when your husband and your son are discussing football even though you don't understand how it works. the key is to study your partner, identify what he enjoys and be a part of it!

dayokanu:
You are lucky he has a grown up son to discuss with For a man who is newly married, has only daughters, whose son in too young to discuss. He has to call friends

He could have gone to the bar to watch which would take him away from home for about 5hrs or more but he is at home at least you dey see am say he dey here and not "Maybe he dey with another woman or getting into mischief"

women and their wahala.
if this man goes to the gym everyday for 3 hours, the wife would have no complaints. her problem is insecurity. "why is he choosing someone else over me?"

Divorce because of a friend ke, and on MIL's instructions? Clearly your wife is still a kid and has no business being married. No one except the parties involved should make such a decision. Tufia! I dont like to be threatened or third party interference at all! It always backfires. That is the wrong approach. Take your stand as the man of the house, and find practical solutions. Clip MIL's wings NOW! If she succeeds with controlling this, you wont be able to stop her. It will be something else tomorrow, and they will use the divorce threat to get you to do whatever they want at your expense. Just reduce the amount of time on the phone to a more reasonable time. But this friend o, i will not give up. Sorry!

chaircover:
Loooool if its only shouting at the referee, then thats OK. My husband has the habit of involuntarily kicking out like he is kicking the ball. So annoying when he does it under the duvet every few seconds each time a player is taking a kick

it's football - it's potent than any religion.
i find it difficult to make friends with any man that does not watch it religiously. real men watch football and yell at the TV!

thats a big fat lie! . . . a whole year!!!! a day maybe but not a year!

no jokes - 1 in 6 would give up sex for a season ticket.

chaircover:

Now you are talking!!! I thought all the men questioned said they would give up sexx for football. 1 in 6 is a better figure . . . truth is they probably werent getting laid to start with anyway, so they arent missing anything

they were all married men.

chaircover:

Now you are talking!!! I thought all the men questioned said they would give up sexx for football. 1 in 6 is a better figure . . . truth is they probably werent getting laid to start with anyway, so they arent missing anything

if you ask 6 men to choose between sex and football during a game especially an important one. Maybe 4 would give up sex at that point, He might come back to beg after the game o

In Naija when Nigeria wins some people spend their life savings celebrating, If some peoples phone ring during a game they can throw it away

You need to see a football fan, Nothing matter at that point

My dad told me he sat motionless inside the rain for like 3hours at Liberty stadium in 1976 after IICC lost to Mighty Jets

A friends dad told me he rode Motorcycle from Oshogbo to Ibadan to go watch an IICC game

Tell Baba Eleran to take between IICC and Sex lol

baba eleran is probably impotent - he would choose his football. what else can he do in bed at 75?

^^ In his potent days nko?

coogar: baba eleran is probably impotent - he would choose his football. what else can he do in bed at 75?

coogar:

he probably closes very early to be able to squeeze 2 hrs everyday - but that point is moot. did she complain before they married is the crux - i am not going to dwell on the act, i would rather concentrate on why calling his friend was okay before marriage and why it's suddenly offensive after marriage

Why are you assuming she knew this?

Did they live together? How do you know that she was aware that he spent 2 hrs everyday without fail talking to his friend? Do you think he would do that when she came visiting? As in, babe, sit down here for the next 2 hrs while I talk to my bff? After that, they phock and she goes home ba? And comes back the next day for a replay?

Did she visit him everyday? Did her visits coincide with the 2 hr gisting period? Everyday?

dayokanu: ^^ In his potent days nko?

it depends on the physique of iya eleran. what if iya eleran has more curves than a formular one racecourse?

ileobatojo:
Why are you assuming she knew this?

Did they live together? How do you know that she was aware that he spent 2 hrs everyday without fail talking to his friend? Do you think he would do that when she came visiting? As in, babe, sit down here for the next 2 hrs while I talk to my bff? After that, they phock and she goes home ba? And comes back the next day for a replay?

Did she visit him everyday? Did her visits coincide with the 2 hr gisting period? Everyday?

if they met in london, there's a high probability they cohabitated before marriage. the dude has since confirmed she knew about this 2-hour ritual and she has only ever joked about his closenes to his bøsom friend.