coogar:

you married the wrong man then.....you are doing the equivalent of a man that wants to join the church of helen akpabio in case his wife or his female becomes a witch later in future. that's how daft the idea sounds.

you are a villager......

Oga Coogar tot we've settled that ni? I'm a Vilagger, agreed!
That's why I married an Ibo man, no time for long grammar . . .

Ujujoan:
Oga Coogar tot we've settled that ni? I'm a Vilagger, agreed!
That's why I married an Ibo man, no time for long grammar . . .

you married an ibo man?
for real? wow - is he from my village in enugu? lololololol!

coogar:

you are the faker.....
women like you come to the cyberspace to claim lara croft and yet you are a subservient wife.......how are we even sure you are not a 2nd or 3rd wife sef who cannot even contribute your opinion in family meetings?

Lol . . you dey vex
ME I don talk my own!

coogar:

you married an ibo man?
for real? wow - is he from my village in enugu? lololololol!

IF you are a real igbo man, then you'll know what I'm talking about!
Of cos there are men and there are men

7842I:

True, the Igbo man will pay raw cash, chop and clean mouth and if you near his family, he is dumping your butt immediately. The Igbo values their family.

Thank you o jare . . .

7842I:

You are definitely pouring fuel on people's homes. You cannot throw a blanket advice to the public because of the unfortunate experiences of a single lady. You act like you are the one that wants a break, maybe you have found a younger man?

I agree . . . no reason to generalize cos of an irresponsible yoruba man's actions!

Ujujoan:
Lol . . you dey vex
ME I don talk my own!

how can i vex with an igbo chic? that's abomination!

IF you are a real igbo man, then you'll know what I'm talking about!
Of cos there are men and there are men

majority of the ones i know have more than 1 wife.....
one abroad and another one in the village. yes, the average igbo man is good at concealing this stuff but it can be argued that's sheer cowardice! it is when he dies that the 2 wives would lock eyes and all hell would break loose.

coogar:

how can i vex with an igbo chic? that's abomination!



majority of the ones i know have more than 1 wife.....
one abroad and another one in the village. yes, the average igbo man is good at concealing this stuff but it can be argued that's sheer cowardice! it is when he dies that the 2 wives would lock eyes and all hell would break loose.

Haba . . resorting to lies just to justify your claims? And I thought you were above that!

I think that if you marry the right person, you don't have to hide anything..... no one should be a liability in this day and age to another human being. If you both can't work to acquire things together, do it alone without harming/hurting the other person.

times have changed ooo .... any woman waiting for a man/husband to come and rescue her from financial mess is on a long thing.

obowunmi: I think that if you marry the right person, you don't have to hide anything..... no one should be a liability in this day and age to another human being. If you both can't work to acquire things together, do it alone without harming/hurting the other person.

times have changed ooo .... any woman waiting for a man/husband to come and rescue her from financial mess is on a long thing.

How can one tell the right person? will anybody intentionally marry the wrong person

coogar:

how can i vex with an igbo chic? that's abomination!



majority of the ones i know have more than 1 wife.....
one abroad and another one in the village. yes, the average igbo man is good at concealing this stuff but it can be argued that's sheer cowardice! it is when he dies that the 2 wives would lock eyes and all hell would break loose.

Igbo men dont marry two wives, period.

Ujujoan:

How can one tell the right person? will anybody intentionally marry the wrong person

You marry the wrong person, when

1. you get pressured into marriage by family members
2. get pressured because you think time is running up against you (you are old)
3. some people marry only because they got someone pregnant i.e. Titi Arowolo
4. some people get married because other friends are married..(peer pressure)
5. you don't know who YOU are as a person? what you stand for? what your values should be? principles?
6. if you are in a bad place in your life - you think marriage will some how take you out of your misery...
7. if you are a negative person, you will attract negative energy and people.

Others will also argue that marriage is a choice and that we choose to stay with someone, but if any of the above applies to you, when you "attracted" your spouse, there is a higher likelihood that it won't last long or you will live a miserable married life.

obowunmi:

You marry the wrong person, when

1. you get pressured into marriage by family members
2. get pressured because you think time is running up against you (you are old)
3. some people marry only because they got someone pregnant i.e. Titi Arowolo
4. some people get married because other friends are married..(peer pressure)
5. you don't know who YOU are as a person? what you stand for? what your values should be? principles?
6. if you are in a bad place in your life - you think marriage will some how take you out of your misery...
7. if you are a negative person, you will attract negative energy and people.

Others will also argue that marriage is a choice and that we choose to stay with someone, but if any of the above applies to you, when you "attracted" your spouse, there is a higher likelihood that it won't last long or you will live a miserable married life.

SO you are saying people who didn't marry for any of the reasons above don't get cheated on and lied to
Wierd . . .

Ujujoan:

How can one tell the right person? will anybody intentionally marry the wrong person

Women intentionally marry the wrong person and vice versa when the person comes from a prominent background... "he's rich, they'll say" pefect example is Chima Anyanso, he's on his 3rd marriage in two years. http://www.bellanaija.com/2011/03/16/loves-new-chapter-onyeka-odiegwu-chima-anyaso-wed/

7842I:

Igbo men dont marry two wives, period.

Tell him . . .

Ujujoan:

SO you are saying people who didn't marry for any of the reasons above don't get cheated on and lied to
Wierd . . .

I am answering your question on circumstances why people intentionally marry the wrong person. Marriage is a CHOICE. It is an option to be married. But there are just some people and some circumstances that you are in, that no matter what you do and how hard you tried, if you don't get HELP for yourself first, the marriage will NOT work no matter how hard you try.

Ujujoan:

How can one tell the right person? will anybody intentionally marry the wrong person

You can better identify the "right" person if you are in a good place in your life. That good place obviously won't last forever but at least, the particular time you were making the decision, it was intentional, and well-intentioned.

obowunmi:

I am answering your question on circumstances why people intentionally marry the wrong person. Marriage is a CHOICE. It is an option to be married. But there are just some people and some circumstances that you are in, that no matter what you do and how hard you tried, if you don't get HELP for yourself first, the marriage will NOT work no matter how hard you try.

My problem with your answer is that you are somehow passing on the guilt yo the other party.
Whatever the reason for getting married doesn't justify such level of betrayal!

obowunmi: I think that if you marry the right person, you don't have to hide anything..... no one should be a liability in this day and age to another human being. If you both can't work to acquire things together, do it alone without harming/hurting the other person.

times have changed ooo .... any woman waiting for a man/husband to come and rescue her from financial mess is on a long thing.

In my response, I clearly state that in this day and age, this is NOT the time to be a liability to any human being (wife or husband) get your mind right first. I still stand by my statement that if you marry the right person, you will not have a problem of hiding this here and there.... communication is the rule to any successful relationship, even if the person is a family member.

I can't imagine marrying a woman that I can't speak with about my financial transactions. (maybe I'm different, but business savviness is important for me, when choosing a spouse.)

Ujujoan:

My problem with your answer is that you are somehow passing on the guilt yo the other party.
Whatever the reason for getting married doesn't justify such level of betrayal!

guilt? other party? I'm confused. I haven't passed off blame to anyone. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness, if you are waiting for someone to save you from your misery or financial responsibilities (whether male or female), you are on a LONG thing.

obowunmi:

guilt? other party? I'm confused. I haven't passed off blame to anyone. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness, if you are waiting for someone to save you from your misery or financial responsibilities (whether male or female), you are on a LONG thing.

Maybe you need to read the original post again!
The OP is talking about joint investments made by BOTH parties. Nobody's talking about saving anyone from poverty!
Get in context brotha!

obowunmi:

In my response, I clearly state that in this day and age, this is NOT the time to be a liability to any human being (wife or husband) get your mind right first. I still stand by my statement that if you marry the right person, you will not have a problem of hiding this here and there.... communication is the rule to any successful relationship, even if the person is a family member.

I can't imagine marrying a woman that I can't speak with about my financial transactions. (maybe I'm different, but business savviness is important for me, when choosing a spouse.)

You need to read the original post again, the op did not say any of them was a liability to the other.

Ujujoan:

Maybe you need to read the original post again!
The OP is talking about joint investments made by BOTH parties. Nobody's talking about saving anyone from poverty!
Get in context brotha!

You asked me questions, and I responded. Indeed, I read the problem at hand and gave my response about marrying the right person. The man's decision to bring in a second wife has nothing to do with the investments. He may have always been polygamous.... that's his CHOICE and the first wife CHOOSE to marry him.

He saw the second wife, married her, and enjoys her presence. The investments are just by-the-way conversations.

7842I:

You need to read the original post again, the op did not say any of them was a liability to the other.

Uju asked a question and I responded. I read the post and I have responded again with marrying the right person.

A man marrying a second wife, has nothing to do with women securing their futures.



what's wrong with a man marrying a second wife? NOTHING.

If the man at hand was RICH, built her a dream house, she won't be complaining. Many RICH men have more than one partners/and the women know about each other. The woman needs to bring it down a notch and better learn how to manage the situation.

7842I:
Igbo men dont marry two wives, period.

you must be living in a cocoon!

Ujujoan:
Haba . . resorting to lies just to justify your claims? And I thought you were above that!

majority of the igbo guys i know have 2 women in their lives.

7842I:

You need to read the original post again, the op did not say any of them was a liability to the other.

Didn't I say I looooved this guy?

coogar:

you must be living in a cocoon!



majority of the igbo guys i know have 2 women in their lives.

There . . fixed your post!
Now the difference between an Igbo guy and a yoruba guy is that the igbo guy will chop and clean mouth, but the yoruba guy will get her pregnant and marry her second wife . .
That is a FACT!

Ujujoan:

There . . fixed your post!
Now the difference between an Igbo guy and a yoruba guy is that the igbo guy will chop and clean mouth, but the yoruba guy will get her pregnant and marry her second wife . .
That is a FACT!

didn't know that you are a tribalist.

Ujujoan:
There . . fixed your post!
Now the difference between an Igbo guy and a yoruba guy is that the igbo guy will chop and clean mouth, but the yoruba guy will get her pregnant and marry her second wife . .
That is a FACT!

what's the meaning of chop and clean mouth?

obowunmi:
didn't know that you are a tribalist.

she's not a tribalist, she's simply an aproka woman!

obowunmi:

didn't know that you are a tribalist.

Nwando in making

obowunmi: A man marrying a second wife, has nothing to do with women securing their futures.



what's wrong with a man marrying a second wife? NOTHING.

If the man at hand was RICH, built her a dream house, she won't be complaining. Many RICH men have more than one partners/and the women know about each other. The woman needs to bring it down a notch and better learn how to manage the situation.

You still don't get it . . . it's not about the man building the house. It's about them building the house together!
What if the man wasnn't so rich and the [b][/b]only house the had was the one they both built together with their life savings. I mean let's be real, this IS nigeria where poverty is endemic. . .
So wat happens when such a man marries a second wife and brings her into that house?
Or if he dies as another wife pops out of somewhere to claim co ownership of the house

obowunmi:

didn't know that you are a tribalist.

Now what's tribalistic about someone saying the fact!
If we were talking about money I'll say the fact about an Igbo man too . .
#This is not about being tribalistic.