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7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes - Travel - Nairaland

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7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Jollof(m): 8:41pm On Mar 29, 2013
Like me, I bet you've all run around with your bathing towels wrapped above your shoulders like a cape and pretended to be Superman (and if you haven't then it's never too late!). Ever since I was a little brat I wanted to take to the skies. Air travel is the next best thing and I'm always looking forward to having a glass plastic cup of ice-cold apple juice which always tastes better at 10,000 feet. What could possibly disrupt this moment of long-awaited bliss? Cue the Nigerians... On my recent return trip from New York alone I encountered 7 annoying things Nigerians did on the plane:

1. Securing beds...in Economy Class! There's a game Nigerian passengers play whenever they're on-board a semi-full airplane - It's kind of similar to Musical Chairs...but without the music. Passengers snub the seats assigned to them and scout for a stretch of three to four empty seats before take-off. Handbags and other luggage items are strategically placed on empty seats in the hope for that Business Class experience - pathetic.

2. Making dramatic Nollywood scenes. Whoever said 'Rules are meant to be broken' must have been a Nigerian. We're pretty damn good at breaking rules...into smithereens, just for good measure. There was one woman sat at the front of economy class with her less-than-a-year-old baby. She put her baby down on the empty seat next to her when the seat belt light was off (not sure if that's proper in the first place but I'll let her off on that one). The moment the seat belt light was back on, however, one of the air hostesses called her to order and told her to strap her baby in place - RED ALERT! RED ALERT! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! You knew from the way the irritated mother turned her neck with that 'oh-no-you-didn't' expression all over her face that cabin pressure was under serious threat. Needless today she told the air hostess to mind her own business - ironically, that's what the air-hostess was trying to do in the first place...Safety of passengers...DUH! I can't remember if the thud I heard later on was due to turbulence or because the baby had rolled off the chair...

3. Taking pictures. You can imagine trying to enjoy a good book when suddenly the corner of your eye picks up the flash photography of some newbie whose obviously hell-bent on convincing everyone back in Nigeria that he/she indeed travel abroad. Newsflash! There may be people with photosensitive epilepsy on-board or nearby pilots wondering if there is a terrorist hijacking, with one unfortunate Nigerian who decided to break one simple rule 'DON'T MOVE!' (go figure!)

4. Farting. It's bad enough you left your assigned seat at the front and decided to come behind me and stretch yourself across four empty seats. Now you're so generous as to share your flatulence with me in small doses of ammonia-laced farts...not a one-off...periodic discharges which could catch choke me unawares if I dare yawn. FYI, avoid fizzy drinks on the plane if you know you can't handle your abdominal tract like few pros among us.

5. Drink to stupor. Is it the sheer pettiness of wanting to get one's money's worth that would make a passenger drink like a fish? (Remember, its Nigerians we're talking about here). Of course, it's not the drinking that bothers me but the mindless banter and laughter at completely 'unfunny' things that drives me up the Berlin wall (just like that - after a couple of drinks you'd be in stitches when you read 'drive me up the berlin wall').

6. Leaving toilets unlocked. Common sense consistently fails to prevail when most Nigerians use the airline's restrooms. It all boils down to refusing to acknowledge the instructions/directions carefully displayed all around them. It's quite simple - you enter the restroom and close it behind you. Right there on door is a slide lock which denotes 'Slide left to lock and right to open'. Why wouldn't I be interested in making sure that no one accidentally sees my 'bits'? Didn't they notice the green 'vacant' or the red 'occupied' sign before entering the lavatory? At my last count I've walked in on 3 unfortunate passengers who forgot to lock behind (but they all did once I exposed them...makes you wonder, eh?).

7. Sitting ovation. I'm not sure if you can relate but you're nearing your flight destination and as soon as the plane lands successfully passengers around you start to clap until virtually everyone joins in. Why are they doing this, you ask? beats me - for landing safely or for not crashing into the deep blue sea or for getting their money's worth after usurping the mini bar...I dunno. The clapping is cheesy in my opinion. I'd much prefer passengers go one by one to shake the pilot(s) for a job well done plane well-landed.

And coming in at a surprise number 8 is Irregular exercise. Make no mistake about it, Nigerians are terrified about premature death, more so than the average civilian (if that makes any sense). I've seen the most bizarre repetitions performed from kicking mid-air to punching only your left arm over the seat head in the same direction. Deep Vein thrombosis is no laughing matter so I guess all I have to do is close my eyes next time if I don't want to behold seemingly amateurish 'Kung-fu'.

See you on the next flight and God help you if you're sitting next to me, lol.

44 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Ugosample(m): 9:35pm On Mar 29, 2013
Hehehe... No be Nigerians?

1 Like

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by dooch(m): 9:38pm On Mar 29, 2013
Jollof:
7. Sitting ovation. I'm not sure if you can relate but you're nearing your flight destination and as soon as the plane lands successfully passengers around you start to clap until virtually everyone joins in. Why are they doing this, you ask? beats me - for landing safely or for not crashing into the deep blue sea or for getting their money's worth after usurping the mini bar...I dunno. The clapping is cheesy in my opinion. I'd much prefer passengers go one by one to shake the pilot(s) for a job well done plane well-landed.
grin grin grin
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by NessaFresh(f): 11:06pm On Mar 29, 2013
And u think only nigerians do this?

41 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by ManTiger(m): 11:18pm On Mar 29, 2013
Nice write-up and good observations but if you look closely, you'll notice that some white folks do also give "sitting ovation" but they are not always the initiator.
I think this should make a FP.

5 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Chinwem(f): 11:49pm On Mar 29, 2013
Lol @ clapping ovation

You forgot to add, they make too much noise and they carry bags that are too big for the overhead compartment

8 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:02am On Mar 30, 2013
Ok. Thank God you're nigerian too! grin angry
when next you're travelling..mind ur business. Pssst! angry
because you've only travelled within nigeria, u came with dis warped conclusion. Be in a plane having foreigners within,..and i'm very sure you'd be singing dis same song.
Trash!

25 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Popowaa: 12:04am On Mar 30, 2013
I made frontpage

4 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by israel007: 12:04am On Mar 30, 2013
What of when u land and everyone just stands up wanting to get out of the plane as though there's something eating them on board!

7 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by DrMuzungu(m): 12:07am On Mar 30, 2013
9. Trying to take extremely large baggages of any kind on board, and fuming if they don't let them...

4 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:08am On Mar 30, 2013
Messing grin

3 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by 190: 12:08am On Mar 30, 2013
im guilty of leaving toilet doors open embarassed embarassed

i always like the airhostess shuttin em

1 Like

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by PweetiQueensy(f): 12:11am On Mar 30, 2013
No. 4, ȋ̝̊̅̄ no fit laugh....... #9ja no dey carry last biko, ....haba no be 9ja agn
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by obowunmi(m): 12:13am On Mar 30, 2013
OP: great topic.

I made the mistake of sitting next to a FAT, OBESE, FAT Nigerian woman and it is a day that I will never forget.... she had no teeth so her mouth smelt really bad, like the pit latrine. She kept farting and I couldn't tell if it was her mouth or her fart.... then she rested her head on my shoulder and kept spreading her FAT OBESE thighs... I said" ma'am, pls restrain yourself to your seat now, I'm a bit uncomfortable..."

This woman starts shouting... "I will strangle you to death...I said ehn..." aaaaahnn... there's more to the story. undecided undecided undecided

35 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by PweetiQueensy(f): 12:14am On Mar 30, 2013
grin No. 4...
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by kaypaw: 12:16am On Mar 30, 2013
Jollof: Like me, I bet you've all run around with your bathing towels wrapped above your shoulders like a cape and pretended to be Superman (and if you haven't then it's never too late!). Ever since I was a little brat I wanted to take to the skies. Air travel is the next best thing and I'm always looking forward to having a glass plastic cup of ice-cold apple juice which always tastes better at 10,000 feet. What could possibly disrupt this moment of long-awaited bliss? Cue the Nigerians... On my recent return trip from New York alone I encountered 7 annoying things Nigerians did on the plane:

1. Securing beds...in Economy Class! There's a game Nigerian passengers play whenever they're on-board a semi-full airplane - It's kind of similar to Musical Chairs...but without the music. Passengers snub the seats assigned to them and scout for a stretch of three to four empty seats before take-off. Handbags and other luggage items are strategically placed on empty seats in the hope for that Business Class experience - pathetic.

2. Making dramatic Nollywood scenes. Whoever said 'Rules are meant to be broken' must have been a Nigerian. We're pretty damn good at breaking rules...into smithereens, just for good measure. There was one woman sat at the front of economy class with her less-than-a-year-old baby. She put her baby down on the empty seat next to her when the seat belt light was off (not sure if that's proper in the first place but I'll let her off on that one). The moment the seat belt light was back on, however, one of the air hostesses called her to order and told her to strap her baby in place - RED ALERT! RED ALERT! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! You knew from the way the irritated mother turned her neck with that 'oh-no-you-didn't' expression all over her face that cabin pressure was under serious threat. Needless today she told the air hostess to mind her own business - ironically, that's what the air-hostess was trying to do in the first place...Safety of passengers...DUH! I can't remember if the thud I heard later on was due to turbulence or because the baby had rolled off the chair...

3. Taking pictures. You can imagine trying to enjoy a good book when suddenly the corner of your eye picks up the flash photography of some newbie whose obviously hell-bent on convincing everyone back in Nigeria that he/she indeed travel abroad. Newsflash! There may be people with photosensitive epilepsy on-board or nearby pilots wondering if there is a terrorist hijacking, with one unfortunate Nigerian who decided to break one simple rule 'DON'T MOVE!' (go figure!)

4. Farting. It's bad enough you left your assigned seat at the front and decided to come behind me and stretch yourself across four empty seats. Now you're so generous as to share your flatulence with me in small doses of ammonia-laced farts...not a one-off...periodic discharges which could catch choke me unawares if I dare yawn. FYI, avoid fizzy drinks on the plane if you know you can't handle your abdominal tract like few pros among us.

5. Drink to stupor. Is it the sheer pettiness of wanting to get one's money's worth that would make a passenger drink like a fish? (Remember, its Nigerians we're talking about here). Of course, it's not the drinking that bothers me but the mindless banter and laughter at completely 'unfunny' things that drives me up the Berlin wall (just like that - after a couple of drinks you'd be in stitches when you read 'drive me up the berlin wall').

6. Leaving toilets unlocked. Common sense consistently fails to prevail when most Nigerians use the airline's restrooms. It all boils down to refusing to acknowledge the instructions/directions carefully displayed all around them. It's quite simple - you enter the restroom and close it behind you. Right there on door is a slide lock which denotes 'Slide left to lock and right to open'. Why wouldn't I be interested in making sure that no one accidentally sees my 'bits'? Didn't they notice the green 'vacant' or the red 'occupied' sign before entering the lavatory? At my last count I've walked in on 3 unfortunate passengers who forgot to lock behind (but they all did once I exposed them...makes you wonder, eh?).

7. Sitting ovation. I'm not sure if you can relate but you're nearing your flight destination and as soon as the plane lands successfully passengers around you start to clap until virtually everyone joins in. Why are they doing this, you ask? beats me - for landing safely or for not crashing into the deep blue sea or for getting their money's worth after usurping the mini bar...I dunno. The clapping is cheesy in my opinion. I'd much prefer passengers go one by one to shake the pilot(s) for a job well done plane well-landed.

And coming in at a surprise number 8 is Irregular exercise. Make no mistake about it, Nigerians are terrified about premature death, more so than the average civilian (if that makes any sense). I've seen the most bizarre repetitions performed from kicking mid-air to punching only your left arm over the seat head in the same direction. Deep Vein thrombosis is no laughing matter so I guess all I have to do is close my eyes next time if I don't want to behold seemingly amateurish 'Kung-fu'.

See you on the next flight and God help you if you're sitting next to me, lol.

1 Like

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by seedord247(m): 12:16am On Mar 30, 2013
Ugosample: Hehehe... No be Nigerians?

Abiooooo. Enter flight with asians and see hell in plane.. The way they eat irritate me die and that language fit block my ear.
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Scarpon(m): 12:17am On Mar 30, 2013
no worry I soon get money and begin to dey buy private jet
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:18am On Mar 30, 2013
How is this peculiar to Nigerians. If you are a frequent flier you will meet people who perform 1 to 8 constantly. Its not a Nigerian thing.

5 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by wazobiaforu(m): 12:23am On Mar 30, 2013
Guy all these thing apply to almost all nation, not only Nigerian, i have seen alot of funny things done by the oyibos also ..






Anyway you just make youself no 8
** 8 : most Nigerian dont mind their bussiness while on sit, they keep looking front,back,left and right to know what is going on in all corners of the flight and to come NL to show they went abroad

66 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:23am On Mar 30, 2013
kaypaw: .
you're perfectly maadd! U quoted dat long post just to write nothing?! Na thunder go faya ur yansh! angry

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by lafflaff123(m): 12:23am On Mar 30, 2013
No habits by anybody annoys me in the plane and as my friend told me BUY FIRST CLASS if you can't stand the things you see in the economy class and until then,i will continue taking in the good,the bad and the ugly of the economy class.

And at POSTER i don't know how often you travel,but if you travel a lot like me then you should have out grown looking out for faults or habits in other's as people can not be like you,act like you or be like you want them to be.

Just want to add an experience i had sometime last year and it was sad.

As a veteran of ECONOMY CLASS i was coming from Nigeria via Delta to the US and on getting to my sit there was a young girl(later discovered she is yoruba)on my space,looked at the boarding pass and number to be sure and told her excuse me please that's my sit.

I always take a sit by the aisle because i am tall and so can stretch my legs,she had the middle sit and on the third sit there was a very old man and i said hi to him then sat down.

Just siiting down and noticed this girl was restless and kept closing her nose with her hands and chatting fervently on her blackberry,raised her head up and asked me if we can change sits and i told her no. She started looking around urgently for an air hostess,spotted one and asked her if they can move her and they told her the plane was full and all this happening while the plane had not even taxied yet.

So i am wondering what's up with this girl as her restlessness was starting to bother me,especially as she had that first timer traveller look(over dressed to impress or give the impression they are well to do to the immigration at the port of entry)and after a few minutes she stood up to use the rest room and left her BB by my arm rest but i did not notice it.

Later looked at what was poking me and it was her phone glowing with her BB Chat open. Did not mean to read but the first message there caught my attention and this girl had been busy bashing the old man and texting,chatting and telling everybody via her phone that they put a smelly old man close to her.

I did not smell anything so wondering what the girl was smelling. But above all as an African i have respect for old people and even in my private thoughts i dont disrespect them let alone what the girl was doing by holding up her nose and blatantly insulting the old man by letting the old man know she does not want to be close to him.

We all eventually become old and i hope when she gets old people will run away from her.

She tried to make small banters with me but i ignored her and later when we were filling up our landing card,this stupid girl brought out her passport to fill and it was a fresh Nigerian passport and her first Visa was the US one and the old man she was calling a smelly old man brought out his US Passport.

So i am thinking this stupid girl has this attitude and have never even left Nigeria before and how will she behave when she starts living outside Nigeria.

This might sound mean but i prayed she ran into problems at the port of entry with the immigration people,but since she followed the line at the immigration point for visa holders i did not know how it ended.

Why did i get angry and still angry?my parents are very old and travel at least once a year to visit me for medicals and stuff and just the thought that one supid girl will call my parents SMELLY OLD PEOPLE just because they are OLD makes me get mad. That man did not stink and his only offence was being OLD.

169 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:25am On Mar 30, 2013
.

1 Like

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by NessaFresh(f): 12:27am On Mar 30, 2013
Popowaa: I made frontpage
Everytime u made frontpage. Na u post am abi na ur new swag now lol
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by NessaFresh(f): 12:28am On Mar 30, 2013
pDude: Messing grin
U no see farting there? Onye ara

9 Likes

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by iamswizz(m): 12:29am On Mar 30, 2013
.
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:29am On Mar 30, 2013
Very humorous and funny. Didn't know, but will observe it when i travel next, hope i won't do them.
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by NessaFresh(f): 12:29am On Mar 30, 2013
obowunmi: OP: great topic.

I made the mistake of sitting next to a FAT, OBESE, FAT Nigerian woman and it is a day that I will never forget.... she had no teeth so her mouth smelt really bad, like the pit latrine. She kept farting and I couldn't tell if it was her mouth or her fart.... then she rested her head on my shoulder and kept spreading her FAT OBESE thighs... I said" ma'am, pls restrain yourself to your seat now, I'm a bit uncomfortable..."

This woman starts shouting... "I will strangle you to death...I said ehn..." aaaaahnn... there's more to the story. undecided undecided undecided
This ur LIE no get part 2

1 Like

Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:30am On Mar 30, 2013
Op you need a private jet. From the few responses, it is obvious no one is about to change.
Re: 7 Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by obowunmi(m): 12:31am On Mar 30, 2013
NessaFresh:
This ur LIE no get part 2

I'm not lying my sister.... its the truth.

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