nanaboi:

Morbid club? makes me think of the Hollywood horror movies/ soundtrax awards - they really try to make an oscar out o it.
looks 2 me like I might open my mind 2 a new kind of writing but the difference between me u guys will be that I will be doing your genre only part time - ha ha! Guess what matters is that I'd do it anyway.

Sisikill,

where r u? what location? I like the pic on your profile. it's so Sisikill

Oh I do remember that but ours isn't gonna be public. We have to keep an air of mystery about it, ya know.

Part time you say, hmmm I don't know if that would qualify you for membership. There are so many evil things to do with the imagination, it's gonna take full time membership to do 'em all. I kid, I kid. . .I can't wait to read what you have for us.

Where am I? Is this where I say something mysterious like "I'm here, there, everywhere. Are we really ever somewhere?" *Gag* Okay, that's got to be the lamest thing ever written. . .Lol.

The Winner Takes It All

Two identical notes lay on the table.

On closer inspection, their differences concealed by distance and dim lighting, is apparent.

The note on the right, wrinkle free reads. . .

Dear Mom
It had to be done.
Don't miss me.
I love you
Jack.

The I in miss dotted with a smiley.

The note on the left,  barely legible. . .angry slashes the Psychiatrist would later say,  reads. . .

Dear Jill
I go to prepare a place in hell for you.
I hope the manner by which you get there is slow and painful.
It's the least you deserve for what you did to me.
See ya soon.
Love Jack

PS
I had the last word. I win. 

nice one though

Sisikill,

U're definitely a killer coz u murder my reputation in cold blood every time I read ur posts and crack up in public, in full glare of everybody - chix as well - who might thik I'm crazy.

And tho i'd love 2 pay u back in ur own blood, I'm not a killer.

Bac k 2 wat I asked previousli, in wat part of hell do u reside? COz I'm the hottest part - Yola.

I'm still working on sending my own very morbid drabble, then maybe d appropriate evil mind will vet to ascertain if I qualify 4 the club. Wat d'u think?

nanaboi:

Sisikill,

You're definitely a killer because u murder my reputation in cold blood every time I read your posts and crack up in public, in full glare of everybody - chix as well - who might thik I'm crazy.

And tho i'd love 2 pay u back in your own blood, I'm not a killer.

Bac k 2 what I asked previousli, in what part of hell do u reside? COz I'm the hottest part - Yola.

I'm still working on sending my own very morbid drabble, then maybe d appropriate evil mind will vet to ascertain if I qualify for the club. What d'u think?

*bows head in pretend remorse*

I’m sorry for killing your reputation. I didn’t mean to, I swear I didn’t. The knife slipped out of my hand and my fingers mistakenly pressed the trigger. . .5 times. Unintentional I tell you.

On the other hand, maybe it is the best way to unleash the killer in you ^{don’t say you don’t have one, everybody does.} Remember Chuck Norris in that movie with like 10 parts, Death Wish or something. He was a mild mannered father until his family was slaughtered and he became a killing machine. Yep, we’re going to Chuck Norris you here. . .are you ready?

I used to stay not far from your parts of hell. . .Kaduna but the gods thought I was having way to much fun and decided to send me off to cooler climate. . .Chicago. I guess they were hoping the cold would tamper my blood lust but the joke is on them because It’s only made me thirstier.

And you already qualify. .You didn’t head for the hills and there were no talks of calling a psychiatrist to “fix us” and a pastor to come bind the devil in us. See. . .you get it, It’s instinct ^{and you thought you didn’t have what it takes. Tsk, tsk, tsk.}

(Screams) Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I qualified!!!!!!

You didn't just , u did not just catch , I mean, the innards in my mouth while I screamed. S**t. Let me explain, she said the gripes had her and I should help out, only she didnt specify how "out" she wanted my help and on what exactly because I literally pulled out everything the gripes had. Now the gripes will never have them again; well, only that neither will she.

Kaduna? I've only been in Yola and Yobe here in the blazes - beside other areas I've been through. This, service, took me to hell and I've been getting my black butt glazed here.
I even wrote a poem about it one afternoon when hell's gateway was re-flung ajar.

Just curious, did u crack when u got to Chicago? I mean, rapid cooling - u know Kaduna weather being what it is and Chicago chills being what it is.

Sanjima

Innards in your mouth? Ewwww Gross! I love it! Rotflmao, I wan/na hear more! I wan/na hear more!!

You are having trouble settling you say? Well it does take a particular type of body to live comfortably in hell but I have great faith in your ability fit in seamlessly. . .why you are already on the right path, putting your frustrations down on paper. When do we get to read the poem? Soon I hope.

Chicago almost broke me I tells ya, found myself writing about snow flakes, roses, rainbows and whatnot. . .raped the paper with sugary sweetness, I swear I did. Then one day, I saw an icicle hanging from the roof and thought it would make a perfect murder weapon. Imagined gutting my victim and then disposing of it by running it under hot water. . .Viola! The perfect crime. Suddenly images of the many things I could do with snow, freezing temperatures, slippery roads and the whole lot flooded my head and that was when I knew I was back baby!!! Ah. . .what a day, I felt reborn.

Well that’s my story. Hope to read yours soon and that’s why I’ll say…

Sai wani lokoci.

Paroxysms of Distress

My screams resonated against the walls. I huffed, I puffed gasping for breath.

Blood, oh gosh blood!!!!!!!!!!

My body shook as I clinged hard to almost everything my hands came in contact with.

His hands were on me again. I heard his voice. . . no, two voices or was it three?

God take me out of here. . . I can't do this. . . I just can't, my mind screamed for help.

Ok, think of beautiful things, think of flowers. . . red, green and yellow flowers. . .

Oh the searing pain again. . . oh it hurts. . . oh it. . .

". . . oh it's a baby girl," the doctor said excitedly.

LMAO! Stillwater that was good, very good.

My Valentine, My Life

Christian Pop Music plays in the background.

Pink feathery pen bounces between pink tongue and pink paper…

Dear Diary,
I want to know my Valentine.
To Know would be happiness for all involved
To be involved is to own the ultimate gift
To own the ultimate gift is to be loved by him
To be loved by him is to be cherished
To be cherished is to be his obsession
To be his obsession is to be his life
To be his life is to belong to him forever
To belong to him means I can't be free
To be free is to take leave of him
To leave him is to brave his anger
To brave his anger is to make him mad
To make him mad will be the death of me.

. . .On second thoughts, I don't want know my Valentine


Please this is actually published as part of an anthology, so err. . .give credit should you decide to borrow it ^{not that I think anyone cares enough to want to borrow it} or you might have a lawsuit on your hands.

. . .On second thoughts, I don't want know my Valentine

he he lol, nice

Sticks of the Labia Majora Look Alike 

With my thumbs and fore-fingers, I held on.

It responded like an elegant skater at my first touch,

Swirling and turning to its full length as if all this while it felt caged.

This was how I loved it. . .

Brown, hard, solid but sleek enough to caress my welcoming luscious body part.

Pouting my lips in anticipation, I looked at my reflection in the mirrors. . . it revealed hooded bedroom eyes.

In one swift oscillation it painted me brown. My lips parted on their own to get more of it.

mmmhh, I had brown glossy lips again.

Lipsticks sure do wonders

stillwater na wa o!

Get your mind out of the gutter

forget it! this mind is firmly in the gutter at this point.
how did you come about this tale? you've been experimenting?

I live in this world ok

I was checking out my lipsticks and the thought came to me

mmmmh why not twist the tale concerning your lipstick

I don't even use brown wine colors would have sounded odd

stillwater stop dribbling me.
who told you i have a lipstick? you've been peeking??

That was an error, someone's tampering with my post. Get over it

chei. So stillwater, the quintessential gentle chic, can write an erotic poem? Who would have thought it . . .
But its really nice though, keep it up.

Thanks.

[s] _{out of all the other stories here, his eyes saw only the drabble with sexual connotations, men!!!!!!}[/s]

4 Sisikill,

To uncrown me; unscalp me
unsuture my mesh;
scoop half my grey,
my thick skull cap for plate
- so she seeks, celestial
hot nought -
To make us half mad. Full mad,
she unmakes us in Jimeta
long before noon.

June,08
Yola.

The title is not "4 Sisikill" abeg. I haven't titled it yet. I always have a problem finding the appropriate title - never passed that part of grammar tests.

nanaboi:

To uncrown me; unscalp me
unsuture my mesh;
scoop half my grey,
my thick skull cap for plate
- so she seeks, celestial
hot nought -
To make us half mad. Full mad,
she unmakes us in Jimeta
long before noon.

June,08
Yola.

Question - How could this have been written in June 2008 when we are still in May 2008? [Just asking - no be fight o.]

Maybe he meant 1908.

stillwater:

Maybe he meant 1908.

LOL, that would make him the oldest man on Nairaland and this the poem written by the oldest poet here.

stillwater:

Sticks of the Labia Majora Look Alike

With my thumbs and fore-fingers, I held on.

It responded like an elegant skater at my first touch,

Swirling and turning to its full length as if all this while it felt caged.

This was how I loved it. . .

Brown, hard, solid but sleek enough to caress my welcoming luscious body part.

Pouting my lips in anticipation, I looked at my reflection in the mirrors. . . it revealed hooded bedroom eyes.

In one swift oscillation it painted me brown. My lips parted on their own to get more of it.

mmmhh, I had brown glossy lips again.

Lipsticks sure do wonders

Lmao! You are something.

So who's got the dirty mind here. . .You or us?

nanaboi:

4 Sisikill,

To uncrown me; unscalp me
unsuture my mesh;
scoop half my grey,
my thick skull cap for plate
- so she seeks, celestial
hot nought -
To make us half mad. Full mad,
she unmakes us in Jimeta
long before noon.

June,08
Yola.

The title is not "4 Sisikill" abeg. I haven't titled it yet. I always have a problem finding the appropriate title - never passed that part of grammar tests.

Wait. . .what? The title is not 4Sisikill? Aww man! I guess released the 1000 ballons with "Congratulations Sisikill, you just had a poem dedicated to you" written on them too soon.

How's this for a title. . .Sultry Days? Hun? Hun? It's got a sexy zing to it, no?

True Brit:

Question - How could this have been written in June 2008 when we are still in May 2008? [Just asking - no be fight o.]

Chei! You people are hard ooh, He posted it on the 31st of May. . .maybe it was June 1st where he is or maybe like my older brother, he forgets May has 31 days so after May 30th, they just leap to June 1st. ^{I kid you not, every year someone corrects him to which he responds, brows all furrowed "Se 31 days ni ti May?}

Besides, not everyone remembers. . .

30 days has September,
April, June and November
All the rest have 31 days
Except February alone
Which has but something, something
And something something leap year.

Why. . .I still have to recite that song to remember which is which.

Sisikill:

Lmao! You are something.

So who's got the dirty mind here. . .You or us?

Absolutely not me

30 days has September,
April, June and November
All the rest have 31 days
Except February alone
Which has but something, something
And something something leap year.

Why. . .I still have to recite that song to remember which is which.

Which has but 28 days clear
And 29 in each leap year.

Yeeeeehhh I still remember it!!!!!!

My mind must'a given my fingers the month 4 my CDS's 4thcoming performance. The actual month I wrote that stuff is 04/08 - April - so u c, no connection watsoeva bw the typed month and the real thing.

Sisikill:

How's this for a title. . .Sultry Days? Hun? Hun? It's got a sexy zing to it, no?

I kinda like that. Don't worry when I do dedicate a poem to you, it will be all gooey with blood and strips of flesh. How'd u like that?

.

.