We all have our
emotional baggage and
sometimes, this
baggage comes with a
sack-full of ex drama.
At some point, we find
ourselves in positions
where we’ve had to deal
someone from our past
relationships.
While some break-ups can
be simple and
straightforward (when it’s
over, it’s over) some can
get a little more knotty. Life
gets more complicated as we
grow and one of the skills
required to get through it is
the ability to deal with ex
drama- be it yours or other
people’s.
In this article, I have
compiled a list of situations
where you have to deal with
an ex and tactful/effective
ways of doing this without
endangering yourself, your
career, current relationship
and even your life.
Dealing with an ex who
wants you Back
This is probably the most
common. Be it Facebook
stalking, ceaseless phone
calls, or showing up at your
house unannounced,
sometimes you might have to
deal with an ex who
relentlessly attempt to make
their way back into your life.
In this case, one of two
things would happen. You
either want him/her back or
you don’t. Let’s take a look
at how to deal with each
scenarios:
You want them back:
Second-time-round
relationships do work,
sometimes. But for it to work
you’ll have to go in feeling
stronger than before. Go into
this with your eyes open and
with a strong spirit. Know
what you want and take the
time out to think about it.
This is an opportunity for
you to look at the
relationship from an
outsider’s perspective since
you are not in the
relationship anymore. Were
you happy in the relationship
to begin with? It is easy to
remember all of the good
times and totally forget about
all of the bad things because
you have an emotional void
that you need to fill. Don’t
ignore the red flags and
don’t trust too soon. Ask for
what you want. Do you have
a reason to believe that
things will be different if you
two decide to get back
together? If you want to give
the relationship another try,
do you honestly believe that
you two can come up with
reasonable compromises?
You should only consider a
second-time-round only
when you sincerely feel that
prospects for long-term
happiness together is really
there. This is what you need
to communicate to them.
Choose a quiet time and
place (please…not the
bedroom) for the discussion,
one where the two of you
can concentrate on each
other and put in words what
it is you want, and what it is
you can and cannot tolerate.
If you’re thinking of getting
back together just to fill the
lonely hours until Mr/Mrs.
Right comes along, you’ll
actually reduce the chances
of you ever attracting
someone who is right for
you, so that is a bad idea.

You don’t want them
back:
Whether you have been
separated from your ex
lover or spouse for a few
weeks or a few years, if he
or she still wants you back,
sometimes a little hint is not
enough. Helping your ex
understand the situation is
key if you are going to get
them to move on. You want
to be gentle with them, of
course, because the
situation is hard enough for
them without you being too
cruel. However, you have to
make the situation very clear
to your ex so that he or she
really understands it.
This is important; don’t ever
let your ex to manipulate you
when trying to solve the
situation! You have to be
firm and in total control
always when you meet.
Obsessed exes will use
every opportunity they get
to start talking about your
past relationship, and how
good it would be if you just
take them back. If you’ve
already told your ex no, or
you are uncomfortable
talking to them about it, you
may want to find a friend who
can tell them that “no means
no”. Sometimes a pining ex
won’t get the picture until
someone outside the
situation steps in. Tell
someone you trust what’s
going on and ask them to
politely inform your ex that
you are no longer interested.
When you have tried every
possible option, and nothing
has convinced your ex that
it is over, you have to cut all
connections. If it requires
changing your email address
and phone numbers, do it.
Getting rid of an obsessed
ex is sometimes difficult. If
you don’t have any feelings
for your ex, and don’t ever
want to get back together
with them, you have to make
this clear. This is best thing
to do, not only for you, but
also for your ex as well.

Dealing with an ex who
happens to be a co-
worker
The thing about workplace
relationships that while they
are easy to get into, they
are hard as heck to get out
of. When people spend the
greater part of the working
day together, they are
bound to find someone with
whom they have some
common interests. This often
leads to sharing a few social
moments and if they hit off,
things are ripe for a
relationship.
However when a workplace
relationship goes kaput, both
partners are faced with a
difficult situation. While
professional ethics demand
that you continue to respect
your co-worker and work as
a team, the conflict in your
personal relationship makes
it exceedingly impossible to
be around your ex. However
with the following
suggestions, you and your
ex can continue to be co-
workers without the
underlying tension.
Put professionalism first.
When you’re at work, your
mind should be on the job –
irrespective of the turmoil in
your love life. Avoid dwelling
on the reasons of your
breakup and keep yourself
from stealing glances at your
ex – whether in anger or
misery. Vow to see him or
her as just another
colleague and no more.
Remember your employer is
paying you to deliver on
your work and not to mop
around the whole day.

i could comment if the posts were aligned.

tpia@:
i could comment if the posts were aligned.

you can just comment without quoting

Discuss with your ex
If you find yourself being
increasingly thrown into your
ex’s company at the
workplace and feel that
constraint between you two
is too great to work
comfortably, decide to talk it
out. Make an appointment
where you two would not be
interrupted and thrash out
underlying issues. Help him
or her see that what has
happened is better left
behind and that you are
looking forward to being
good workmates. It is not
only important for both your
careers that you put behind
relationship issues but it is
necessary to do so if either
of you are to move on in
your personal lives.

or just look for another job or transfer to a different location?

all this discussion stuff seems geared towards stalking each other, imo.

tpia@:
or just look for another job or transfer to a different location?

what if its a well paying job and you need it badly?

that's just an excuse to keep stalking the person.

there are other jobs elsewhere.