Hello guys,can u open ur heart to us ladies over this issue.I want to learn and I hope some of us ladies want to learn 2.(Sorry o if there's a thread like this before!)We r ladies,we hv it all;beauty, intelligence, power,authority,money, infact an epitome of perfection! To crown it all marriage and children. Waoh! We hv landed!but wait a minute,u start suspecting something or hearing rumours,did small investigation and there is d other woman around,oh my so wonderful marriage is no longer wonderful. after effect;we all know them. My question is this.please my brothers,can u tell us what makes u start thinking out of d box and what we can do to help make it work.from sex to hygiene to whatever(no matter how little)that causes dis.we want to learn.it will help lots of us.what pushes u to the hands of the other woman? We want to know everything so we can be better for u guys. Thanks as u contribute positively.

I created this because we hv so many unhappy or broken homes around us. It might be a simple thing that was ignored and over time became so thick. So let us know(we can talk about ladies some other time) I hv a cousin that is presently in such situation and I swore their marriage was so wonderful.its heartbreaking. Pls can u guys shed light into this.thanks

Pls permit me , Even though am not a guy... During courtship, both parties be true to yourselves... Intending wives try to understand the Man yur getting married to...don't just float through the relationship.. All men are not the same, so no specific rules on that...except normal basic rules of life, which every human being should know as we mature in age. Understand yur man, yur husband...listen when he complains and adjust... Constant complains to deaf ears lead to withdrawal and loneliness, even during marriage... Different strokes for different folks.
That's my two cents.

@OP, i'm assuming that the summary of your post is ''How does a woman keep her man faithful''. Well, lets see...

The fact is that EVERY man gets bored after a while with the same woman. I can't say for the female folk, but i know that the male libido decreases with time when cooped up with the same female. It has nothing to do with being immoral, or sexx-addiction, or up-bringing, or whatever. It is NATURAL, and every male mammal on this planet has that gradual accumulation of desire to try something new.

However, the DECISION to give in to this natural instinct is one every man has to make for himself, and the richer or more powerful a man is, the harder it is to stick to one partner. I've read it is also same with women. The power that comes with wealth and position is truly intoxicating; keeping emotions and urges that can be satisfied by just a flick of fingers is, to put it mildly, very VERY hard.

So, how to keep the man ''chained''? I honestly don't know, and i'm even a man o! Young, juicy and volumptious girls shaking their tails all over the place, and all they want is a trip to Kilimanjaro and BIS recharge. Mehnnn, men dey try o!

But if you wanna help your man keep his marriage vows, well, VARIETY and CHANGE are your friends. Spice things up after a while. In addition to being a good wife and all that, KEEP YOUR SEXX LIFE ALIVE. Never make the mistake of leaving this responsibilty to the man alone. Try something outrageously er0tick every once in while. Men like excitement; keep him guessing what new foxy thing u'll do next week.

Unfortunately though, the truth is if your man makes a conscious decision to cheat, NOTHING will stop him.

@Op,A man that wants to cheat will cheat,even if you die in the process of pleasing him,it won't make him faithful.Most men cheat because they know most women will forgive.The solution to male infidelity lies with the ladies.Even Kim Kardashian's beauty can't keep kanye from cheating on her with Adele,if he has no self control.

kay9: @OP, i'm assuming that the summary of your post is ''How does a woman keep her man faithful''. Well, lets see...

The fact is that EVERY man gets bored after a while with the same woman. I can't say for the female folk, but i know that the male libido decreases with time when cooped up with the same female. It has nothing to do with being immoral, or sexx-addiction, or up-bringing, or whatever. It is NATURAL, and every male mammal on this planet has that gradual accumulation of desire to try something new.

However, the DECISION to give in to this natural instinct is one every man has to make for himself, and the richer or more powerful a man is, the harder it is to stick to one partner. I've read it is also same with women. The power that comes with wealth and position is truly intoxicating; keeping emotions and urges that can be satisfied by just a flick of fingers is, to put it mildly, very VERY hard.

So, how to keep the man ''chained''? I honestly don't know, and i'm even a man o! Young, juicy and volumptious girls shaking their tails all over the place, and all they want is a trip to Kilimanjaro and BIS recharge. Mehnnn, men dey try o!

But if you wanna help your man keep his marriage vows, well, VARIETY and CHANGE are your friends. Spice things up after a while. In addition to being a good wife and all that, KEEP YOUR SEXX LIFE ALIVE. Never make the mistake of leaving this responsibilty to the man alone. Try something outrageously er0tick every once in while. Men like excitement; keep him guessing what new foxy thing u'll do next week.

Unfortunately though, the truth is if your man makes a conscious decision to cheat, NOTHING will stop him.

You made a lot of sense.

kay9: @OP, i'm assuming that the summary of your post is ''How does a woman keep her man faithful''. Well, lets see...

The fact is that EVERY man gets bored after a while with the same woman. I can't say for the female folk, but i know that the male libido decreases with time when cooped up with the same female. It has nothing to do with being immoral, or sexx-addiction, or up-bringing, or whatever. It is NATURAL, and every male mammal on this planet has that gradual accumulation of desire to try something new.

However, the DECISION to give in to this natural instinct is one every man has to make for himself, and the richer or more powerful a man is, the harder it is to stick to one partner. I've read it is also same with women. The power that comes with wealth and position is truly intoxicating; keeping emotions and urges that can be satisfied by just a flick of fingers is, to put it mildly, very VERY hard.

So, how to keep the man ''chained''? I honestly don't know, and i'm even a man o! Young, juicy and volumptious girls shaking their tails all over the place, and all they want is a trip to Kilimanjaro and BIS recharge. Mehnnn, men dey try o!

But if you wanna help your man keep his marriage vows, well, VARIETY and CHANGE are your friends. Spice things up after a while. In addition to being a good wife and all that, KEEP YOUR SEXX LIFE ALIVE. Never make the mistake of leaving this responsibilty to the man alone. Try something outrageously er0tick every once in while. Men like excitement; keep him guessing what new foxy thing u'll do next week.

Unfortunately though, the truth is if your man makes a conscious decision to cheat, NOTHING will stop him.

. R u a psychologist or marriage counselor? I'm beginnin to get scared!so much work for the woman! Thanks o! I'm learning!

@Op,start by marrying a man who sees everything wrong with male infidelity not one of these types we see on NL who believes that cheAting is part of what mAkes a man a superman.Just have it in mind that a man who sees nothing wrong in male infidelity cAn never be satisfied with one woman.

[quote author=byvan]@Op,start by marrying a man who sees everything wrong with male infidelity not one of these types we see on NL who believes that cheAting is part of what mAkes a man a superman.Just have it in mind that a man who sees nothing wrong in male infidelity cAn never be satisfied with one woman.[/quot. I'm a married woman,its just that its too much in d society and I want to know d driving force behind it and how we can correct it(at least try).married men,can u go after another woman simply bc ur wife's vj expanded a bit due to child birth?how may u help her if yes is d answer.pls enlighten me o!

It is prevalent because women fold their hands and wait for changes that ll never come,if every man that cheated lost his family,won't that deter some?100per transparency in marriage can curb infidelity.If couples should abide by a no privacy rule this will help a lot.How can a man keep a Gf when you know that your wife knows each and every one of your contacts?when she can pick your calls or read your messages before you?This no privacy rule works for me as there are things you can never do when ur marriage is devoid of privacy.Keeping this so called "Just"friends of opposite sex hAve led many men to the temptress's corner.

If only couples can severe all these unnecessary ties with people that are of no value to their marital bliss.....

byvan: @Op,start by marrying a man who sees everything wrong with male infidelity not one of these types we see on NL who believes that cheAting is part of what mAkes a man a superman.Just have it in mind that a man who sees nothing wrong in male infidelity cAn never be satisfied with one woman.

True but it is easy to say..

It's DOING that is important
Any man can say anything yet we have so many married males rolling with young nubile females

Ish

The driving force is simple......quest for variety!!only a few men can lay claim to other factors.Women should never turn down their hubby's advances if not on health grounds,infidelity or abuse.Some of these married men aint getting some because their wives won't comply.It must not be love making all the time as women would want it,sometimes it has to be just SEX.

kay9: @OP, i'm assuming that the summary of your post is ''How does a woman keep her man faithful''. Well, lets see...

The fact is that EVERY man gets bored after a while with the same woman. I can't say for the female folk, but i know that the male libido decreases with time when cooped up with the same female. It has nothing to do with being immoral, or sexx-addiction, or up-bringing, or whatever. It is NATURAL, and every male mammal on this planet has that gradual accumulation of desire to try something new.

However, the DECISION to give in to this natural instinct is one every man has to make for himself, and the richer or more powerful a man is, the harder it is to stick to one partner. I've read it is also same with women. The power that comes with wealth and position is truly intoxicating; keeping emotions and urges that can be satisfied by just a flick of fingers is, to put it mildly, very VERY hard.

So, how to keep the man ''chained''? I honestly don't know, and i'm even a man o! Young, juicy and volumptious girls shaking their tails all over the place, and all they want is a trip to Kilimanjaro and BIS recharge. Mehnnn, men dey try o!

But if you wanna help your man keep his marriage vows, well, VARIETY and CHANGE are your friends. Spice things up after a while. In addition to being a good wife and all that, KEEP YOUR SEXX LIFE ALIVE. Never make the mistake of leaving this responsibilty to the man alone. Try something outrageously er0tick every once in while. Men like excitement; keep him guessing what new foxy thing u'll do next week.

Unfortunately though, the truth is if your man makes a conscious decision to cheat, NOTHING will stop him.

1000+ Likes!!!
Excellent and superlative post
I like how you killed it

byvan: The driving force is simple......quest for variety!! only a few men can lay claim to other factors.Women should never turn down their hubby's advances if not on health grounds,infidelity or abuse.Some of these married men aint getting some because their wives won't comply.It must not be love making all the time as women would want it,sometimes it has to be just SEX.

Sadly true..
Even some pastors have fallen to the charms of the daughters of eve

biolabee:

True but it is easy to say..

It's DOING that is important
Any man can say anything yet we have so many married males rolling with young nubile females

Ish

Who is listening to what a man says??Observing a person's reaction to situations is more valid than verbal expressions.

The best a woman can do is,give your best and allow nature take its course.Be ready for your next course of action if it happens,a cheater can only be sorry because he is caught or better still,keep fasting and praying for changes that might never come.

biolabee:

1000+ Likes!!!
Excellent and superlative post
I like how you killed it

I killed it? Well thanks.

byvan:

You made a lot of sense.

Was my pleasure. OP asked a sincere question; i was glad to answer sincerely.

yellowpawpaw: . R u a psychologist or marriage counselor? I'm beginnin to get scared!so much work for the woman! Thanks o! I'm learning!

I'm not o, my dear! Lets just i'm a lil more observant than usual...with a helpful dose of experience!

byvan: The best a woman can do is,give your best and allow nature take its course.Be ready for your next course of action if it happens,a cheater can only be sorry because he is caught or better still,keep fasting and praying for changes that might never come.

I'm not entirely sure that's the best course of action... Letting nature take its course and all that, i mean. I'm always one for communication and proactiveness.

I'd say look for signs that your man maybe getting restless. Share your concerns with him, you know, ''honey, i feel like you're holding out something on me...''
Then get proactive; dont wait for him to confirm or disprove your fears - pull a Megan Fox on him! If it means buying some crazy p0rnn flick and learning a new move or pre-intimacy play, just do it. I know i'll do it for my wife if i notice she's getting somewhat cold...

What i'm saying is, dont quit without a fight. If i love something, i'm not letting go without a good fight o!

byvan:


Who is listening to what a man says??Observing a person's reaction to situations is more valid than verbal expressions.

True....

kay9:

I'm not entirely sure that's the best course of action... Letting nature take its course and all that, i mean. I'm always one for communication and proactiveness.

I'd say look for signs that your man maybe getting restless. Share your concerns with him, you know, ''honey, i feel like you're holding out something on me...''
Then get proactive; dont wait for him to confirm or disprove your fears - pull a Megan Fox on him! If it means buying some crazy p0rnn flick and learning a new move or pre-intimacy play, just do it. I know i'll do it for my wife if i notice she's getting somewhat cold...

What i'm saying is, dont quit without a fight. If i love something, i'm not letting go without a good fight o!

There are numerous faithful married women and men don't have to do so much to keep them so.Can't one find a man who one wouldn't have to work so hard on to keep his fly zipped outside the house?

slimyem: There are numerous faithful married women and men don't have to do so much to keep them so.Can't one find a man who one wouldn't have to work so hard on to keep his fly zipped outside the house?

Yes, one can, indeed, find such men. The species isn't extinct yet, fortunately.
I wouldn't make so bold as to say what percentage of the total male population they comprise though, cos i feel the women folk would be the ones to say just how many or how few they are.

My post, however, was directed at women whose men aren't one of such men.

kay9:

I'm not entirely sure that's the best course of action... Letting nature take its course and all that, i mean. I'm always one for communication and proactiveness.

I'd say look for signs that your man maybe getting restless. Share your concerns with him, you know, ''honey, i feel like you're holding out something on me...''
Then get proactive; dont wait for him to confirm or disprove your fears - pull a Megan Fox on him! If it means buying some crazy p0rnn flick and learning a new move or pre-intimacy play, just do it. I know i'll do it for my wife if i notice she's getting somewhat cold...

What i'm saying is, dont quit without a fight. If i love something, i'm not letting go without a good fight o!

You misunderstood me,eventually after you have given your all with the loads of proactiveness and communications,won't you rest your case??will you tie your spouse by the waist to make sure your pre-intimacy and all is good enough??eventually you resign to fate by letting your spouse make his decisions.

Your post is directed to everyone,not women who their hubby aint faithful,atleast no one is complaining of a cheating hubby here.

"What i'm saying is, dont quit without a fight. If i love something, i'm not letting go without a good fight o!"Isn't this only valid where the actual infidelity have not occurred?

so it takes a great deal to keep a guy grounded ? smh
sounding like women should do all the work to keep a guy from wandering.
A dog destined to miss its way will not listen to the hunter whistle.

both men and women should work hard to keep their union going.
go for open relationship so that both of you can be doing the chopping outside.
when and if you are bored, communicate. Not doing hide and seek or playing peekaboo with the other person emotion.

kay9: @OP, i'm assuming that the summary of your post is ''How does a woman keep her man faithful''. Well, lets see...

The fact is that EVERY man gets bored after a while with the same woman. I can't say for the female folk, but i know that the male libido decreases with time when cooped up with the same female. It has nothing to do with being immoral, or sexx-addiction, or up-bringing, or whatever. It is NATURAL, and every male mammal on this planet has that gradual accumulation of desire to try something new.

However, the DECISION to give in to this natural instinct is one every man has to make for himself, and the richer or more powerful a man is, the harder it is to stick to one partner. I've read it is also same with women. The power that comes with wealth and position is truly intoxicating; keeping emotions and urges that can be satisfied by just a flick of fingers is, to put it mildly, very VERY hard.

So, how to keep the man ''chained''? I honestly don't know, and i'm even a man o! Young, juicy and volumptious girls shaking their tails all over the place, and all they want is a trip to Kilimanjaro and BIS recharge. Mehnnn, men dey try o!

But if you wanna help your man keep his marriage vows, well, VARIETY and CHANGE are your friends. Spice things up after a while. In addition to being a good wife and all that, KEEP YOUR SEXX LIFE ALIVE. Never make the mistake of leaving this responsibilty to the man alone. Try something outrageously er0tick every once in while. Men like excitement; keep him guessing what new foxy thing u'll do next week.

Unfortunately though, the truth is if your man makes a conscious decision to cheat, NOTHING will stop him.

Guys! I lv u all! One don't hv to be in school to learn.I'm a student here o!no wonder! I hope hubby don't visit here cos I wanna gossip small! One day on our way home after church service,still at d car park,I noticed him looking sideways while driving! I scanned and behold one daughter of eve with skimpy and tight gown walking down,oblivious of what is happening!it got me thinkin;c a newly married man from God's house carried away just like that? Men! How I wish I will enter una head!

Does it means we hv to die so as to keep our men? Its too much naw!for eg,I work like him,take care of d house and kids,try lookin sexy most times,I dey try for bed sha except wen nursing,so what again do u guys want?I'm sure most women r like this and their men lv them die but still d issue of d other woman is still there.werin d happen naw? I asked a sensitve ? Up there cos I feel its one of d major issues dat breaks marriage;loose vj,I still wan more please and thank u all for this wonderful lecture! I am so happy!

My hubby told me that the fact that a woman has kids doesn't mean she aint tighter than that single lady by the corner.My sister,love yourself with passion and you can never die over anything.have you forgotten that a man can date a single mother with kids without knowing unless she told him.There is really not much a woman can do to stop a man that wants to cheat from cheating.

yellowpawpaw: Does it means we hv to die so as to keep our men? Its too much naw!for eg,I work like him,take care of d house and kids,try lookin sexy most times,I dey try for bed sha except wen nursing,so what again do u guys want?I'm sure most women r like this and their men lv them die but still d issue of d other woman is still there.werin d happen naw? I asked a sensitve ? Up there cos I feel its one of d major issues dat breaks marriage;loose vj,I still wan more please and thank u all for this wonderful lecture! I am so happy!

You dont have to die to keep him. All you need do is to be his friend. The challenge facing most Nigerian women is that they are not friends or close enough to their husbands. You need to know his lifestyle, what his day at work is life, the kinda friends he keeps (both good and bad). Get involved in his daily routine, talk during the day when both of you are at work. Go hang out with him and sometimes his friends when possile.

Dont just let him live his life and you live yours without connecting everyday. What keeps a marriage is friendship. Does that prevent cheating? No, because a man that wants to cheat will always cheat but it can prevent those that do not want to cheat from having an excuse to cheat. What matters most to each man wants is different. When you are close to your husband, you will truely understand what he wants from you and you will give it to him.

byvan: @Op,A man that wants to cheat will cheat,even if you die in the process of pleasing him,it won't make him faithful.Most men cheat because they know most women will forgive.The solution to male infidelity lies with the ladies.Even Kim Kardashian's beauty can't keep kanye from cheating on her with Adele,if he has no self control.

Wow... you are mostly right except that you implied someone is not-so-good-looking. In addition, a wife should never take her husband for granted or seek to belittle him.

OP, it has to do mostly with orientation- most men have been trained to believe they cannot/should not be faithful to one woman. I also think women tend to deceive themselves. If you had 10 rivals before marrying him, is it realistic to assume he will be faithful?

If he had no inhibitions turning you inside-out in bed before he married you, does it make any sense for you to think he will have inhibitions about 'having a good time' with a 'hot babe' that is all over him?

byvan: My hubby told me that the fact that a woman has kids doesn't mean she aint tighter than that single lady by the corner.My sister,love yourself with passion and you can never die over anything.have you forgotten that a man can date a single mother with kids without knowing unless she told him.There is really not much a woman can do to stop a man that wants to cheat from cheating.

. Thanks for the care dear but this is a generalised ?.for me,it has bn cs all d way for health reason. I ask this cause I seek solution for a dearest friend.it took a greater trust for her to tell me d reason behind her husband's infidelity so that why I'm asking guys all these ?s.

I hv learnt a lot!thank u all my teachers!saluta! Me think I'm fully loaded now to teach my student.u all really helped.thanks once again!