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The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind - Romance - Nairaland

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The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 5:30pm On Apr 21, 2013
(Post 1)

This writeup links with my other writeup in the business section
https://www.nairaland.com/994349/how-create-economic-success-out/7

Objective: Provides Nigerian males and females with a better understanding of unfolding dynamics in the opposing sex dating pool' with the hope that its understanding would help in allowing us nail our desired mates (no pun intended grin)

(* i know say people for romance section no like long tori, so I go try make my 'thesis' short. You can go straight to Post #6 for conclusion)

1 Like

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 5:34pm On Apr 21, 2013
(Post 2)

Some years back, after some heartbreak, I decided to question and understand what none-agape Love really was.
I had grown up with those romantic notions of love as indoctrinated and fantasized by TV and romantic novels
Were Cupid in drunken haste draws his bow and strikes his poisoned arrow at just anybody
leading to love between unlikely couples
This romantic view fueled my teenage years, where love was supposed to be blind and extremely foo.lish

After my heartbreak(s) I paid a closer attention to people that acted in such romantic movies
their real love life did not seem in anyway blind.
It seemed to follow a pattern of carefully cherographed choice of partners
and clinical disposal of such partners when needed

Uhm, these guys were (and are still) feeding us the paying mumuish crowd with co.rk and bull descriptions of love
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 5:49pm On Apr 21, 2013
(Post 3)

Find below a gift I share with you
that should help you visually understand the whats and whys in the dating game

The male symbol is shaped like an erect di.ck
(thats how my secondary school biology teacher thaught me to remember it grin)

The female symbol has the cross attached

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 5:54pm On Apr 21, 2013
(Post 4)

Women have a strong and prefered tendency to date upwards. Be it age, economic status, power, visibility etc
they can tolerate dating sideways with their peers

Men on the other hand easily date in all dimensions
they are sometimes cowered by more successful ladies especially if they've had a humbling experience before

2 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 6:03pm On Apr 21, 2013
(Post 5)

My observation in the Southern part of Nigeria
Most males and females seem to be out of University and completed NYSC sowmehere between 24 to 27 years old

The girls are already thinking of marriage amongst economic acheivements at this time
while the guys are thinking mainly of economics -first Job, then rent house, then furnish house, then buy car before marrying

(kai, this is getting longer than i thought)

1 Like

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 6:47pm On Apr 21, 2013
(Post 6)

Conclusions

Dissecting the theory will be too long for this forum,
so I'll race straight to the conclusion
(U can always refer to the diagram to understand scenarios better)

1) When women are ready to settle down (even when they do not have jobs) their university boyfriends are many times not ready because their graduate job slaries cannot cater for the pair
2) when the bf and gf have both finished university and have jobs, there is a stronger tendency to take the next step into marriage

3) wen ladies have jobs but their bf's dont have, there is a strong tendency for the girls to suddenly start seeing faults in their bf and start looking out for new relationships. Sometimes even cheating
4) Guys that have 'arrived' in Nigeria are most times married
5) Girls because of their inate desire to date upwards have a tendency to cheat with these married guys

6) Guys in their 20's because of their economic emasculation complain that ladies are bitches and gold-diggers
7) Sons of: politicians, top bureacrats and top private sector chiefs have it easier with all category of girls in Nigeria even if theyhave not yet got employment. This is because they represent the higher pecking order that girls desire to date. Thanks to their dads cash, they would already have nice furnished houses, cars and a bright future even while in university

8 ) When your boyfriend travels abroad and you dont yet have a job, U need to be worried because the probability is that except he has a job that can cater for both of you, he will dump u and pick a girl that can complement him there
9) When ur girlfriend travells abroad. The only time u shld be scared is if u dont have a job. Then, she will look out for some other alpha male

10) If ur gf travls abroad, and u both have jobs that pay same rate (all other economic condition being equal), the tendency is also for her to look out for males in the higher order. If she does not find any, she's coming for u.


These are all things that I have observed. Stay blessed

28 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Abbott(m): 7:24pm On Apr 21, 2013
I like the concept and what's more? It is very true though like all laws/rules, it admits of some exceptions too.
Very much interested in reading the unabridged version.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Ishilove: 9:29pm On Apr 21, 2013
I totally agree with you. Who wants to date a brokeasss? He might cover your destiny with the spirit of poverty troubling him undecided

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by 190: 9:35pm On Apr 21, 2013
Ishilove: I totally agree with you. Who wants to date a brokeasss? He might cover your destiny with the spirit of poverty troubling him undecided


ROTFL grin grin grin

Nice one OP

So u saying in essence that money is a strong factor in today's relationships
which is highly applaudable hence the reason why im letting money these days rule my head and relationship grin grin

Get money and all other things shall be added unto you cool

front page please 1st to comment btw oops 2nd JK tongue tongue

3 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 9:53pm On Apr 21, 2013
Ishilove: I totally agree with you. Who wants to date a brokeasss? He might cover your destiny with the spirit of poverty troubling him undecided

190:

ROTFL grin grin grin

Nice one OP

So u saying in essence that money is a strong factor in today's relationships
which is highly applaudable hence the reason why im letting money these days rule my head and relationship grin grin

Get money and all other things shall be added unto you cool

front page please 1st to comment btw oops 2nd JK tongue tongue
Its more about success level than cash per say

Women are very sensitive to the relative 'succes' level of their male counterpats
So you might see a Kim Kardeshi marrying some comfortable bloke for a day
and then going on 'UP' to date and happilly carry belle for a more successful Kanye West who 'stooped' to date her
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 10:08pm On Apr 21, 2013
Abbott: I like the concept and what's more? It is very true though like all laws/rules, it admits of some exceptions too.
Very much interested in reading the unabridged version.

I go write book for that one grin

A better and less boring approach would be to answer questions
for example, how would a guy that is 'less in status' 'nail' is chosen chick?
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 11:55pm On Apr 21, 2013
Ishilove: I totally agree with you. Who wants to date a brokeasss? He might cover your destiny with the spirit of poverty troubling him undecided
chilo.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by plaetton: 12:28am On Apr 22, 2013
esere826: (Post 6)

Conclusions

Dissecting the theory will be too long for this forum,
so I'll race straight to the conclusion
(U can always refer to the diagram to understand scenarios better)

1) When women are ready to settle down (even when they do not have jobs) their university boyfriends are many times not ready because their graduate job slaries cannot cater for the pair
2) when the bf and gf have both finished university and have jobs, there is a stronger tendency to take the next step into marriage

3) wen ladies have jobs but their bf's dont have, there is a strong tendency for the girls to suddenly start seeing faults in their bf and start looking out for new relationships. Sometimes even cheating
4) Guys that have 'arrived' in Nigeria are most times married
5) Girls because of their inate desire to date upwards have a tendency to cheat with these married guys

6) Guys in their 20's because of their economic emasculation complain that ladies are bitches and gold-diggers
7) Sons of: politicians, top bureacrats and top private sector chiefs have it easier with all category of girls in Nigeria even if theyhave not yet got employment. This is because they represent the higher pecking order that girls desire to date. Thanks to their dads cash, they would already have nice furnished houses, cars and a bright future even while in university

8 ) When your boyfriend travels abroad and you dont yet have a job, U need to be worried because the probability is that except he has a job that can cater for both of you, he will dump u and pick a girl that can complement him there
9) When ur girlfriend travells abroad. The only time u shld be scared is if u dont have a job. Then, she will look out for some other alpha male

10) If ur gf travls abroad, and u both have jobs that pay same rate (all other economic condition being equal), the tendency is also for her to look out for males in the higher order. If she does not find any, she's coming for u.


These are all things that I have observed. Stay blessed

You are extremely brilliant.

2 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by clemz85(m): 1:07am On Apr 22, 2013
na there!
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Ishilove: 4:59am On Apr 22, 2013
plaetton:

You are extremely brilliant.
Yes o, that's why I was tempted to gree when he toasted me. Alas, he is broke so... No deal!
grin
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Ishilove: 5:40am On Apr 22, 2013
Esere, you didn't factor Love into your analysis. Love can make a woman who is way up there in the food chain stoop to date and stick with a guy who earns far less than her. Love makes mincemeat of your submission, in my humble opinion.

9 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by eagleeye2: 6:49am On Apr 22, 2013
Ishilove: Esere, you didn't factor Love into your analysis. Love can make a woman who is way up there in the food chain stoop to date and stick with a guy who earns far less than her. Love makes mincemeat of your submission, in my humble opinion.
Like someone already said, there are exceptions to the rule. "Love" is not the norm in Nigerian relationships, it's an exception.

"I love you" from a girl could mean different things.

11 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by 190: 7:25am On Apr 22, 2013
eagle,eye:

Like someone already said, there are exceptions to the rule. "Love" is not the norm in Nigerian relationships, it's an exception.

"I love you" from a girl could mean different things.

True wink
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 8:20am On Apr 22, 2013
Ishilove: Esere, you didn't factor Love into your analysis. Love can make a woman who is way up there in the food chain stoop to date and stick with a guy who earns far less than her. Love makes mincemeat of your submission, in my humble opinion.

What I am trying to show is that love is not so unmeasurable
A girl could date a guy who earns far less than her,
but if you critically examine the relationship, you might find an equal or 'higher power' relationship as the reason she is dating him

Think carefully about this
You can use Uduaghan's daughter and that Eric boy's relationship as a case study

Also try thinking about other relationships. You might soon start seeing the logical connection

1 Like

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 8:25am On Apr 22, 2013
^^^^
The Y axis in my diagram is the major key
Depending on the girl, the Y axis could be any of these indices, (or) a combination of these indices, and more:

Visibility, power, money, beauty, Support, Height, Intelligence, adventuresomeness, Class etc
(The beauty of cash is that it is able to enhance many of the indices listed above)


Mating could be a conquerable science for guys who understand it, understand the societal context, and understand their female targets
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 9:31am On Apr 22, 2013
Ishilove: Esere, you didn't factor Love into your analysis. Love can make a woman who is way up there in the food chain stoop to date and stick with a guy who earns far less than her. Love makes mincemeat of your submission, in my humble opinion.
Ishilove: I totally agree with you. Who wants to date a brokeasss? He might cover your destiny with the spirit of poverty troubling him undecided
see as you de contradict yourself? Eh, chilo?

6 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by mirob(f): 9:54am On Apr 22, 2013
Ishilove: Esere, you didn't factor Love into your analysis. Love can make a woman who is way up there in the food chain stoop to date and stick with a guy who earns far less than her. Love makes mincemeat of your submission, in my humble opinion.

Forget movies, in real life before a girl of that status stoop to date or marry that kind of guy check it she didn't get †ђξ required attention from guys of the same class or guys that are in higher class than her. grin

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by AjanleKoko: 9:55am On Apr 22, 2013
The analysis is a bit challenging from the female angle- considering that guys have varying financial ability, and women also have varying degrees of attractiveness.
There is also the issue of overall suitability - as my financial standing improved, the less likely I was to accept just attractiveness as a criteria for a suitable mate. I also wanted similar social and intellectual status, as well as background/character.

I think in the general sense, water always seeks its own level. As much as the perception exists that women date upward (it is certainly their preference), it is only a small percentage of women that get that privilege. Most usually settle for what they can get, or get none at all. Even while most women are commenting like Ishilove 'Who wants to date a brokeass?', in reality most of them have no date at all, and eventually settle for any available fellow.

Though I agree with the male part - guys are always willing to compromise grin

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 10:03am On Apr 22, 2013
AjanleKoko: The analysis is a bit challenging from the female angle- considering that guys have varying financial ability, and women also have varying degrees of attractiveness.

I think in the general sense, water always seeks its own level. As much as the perception exists that women date upward (it is certainly their preference), it is only a small percentage of women that get that privilege. Most usually settle for what they can get, or get none at all. Even while most women are commenting like Ishilove 'Who wants to date a brokeass?', in reality most of them have no date at all, and eventually settle for any available fellow.

Though I agree with the male part - guys are always willing to compromise grin
your 2nd paragraph is totally on point! cool

I wouldn't say guys are compromising though. More like, they're more adaptable and flexible. In the real sense of it, its the ladies who eventually compromise as per your 2nd paragraph.

Your 1st paragraph is a 'captain obvious' grin

2 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by devour129: 10:05am On Apr 22, 2013
eagle,eye:

Like someone already said, there are exceptions to the rule. "Love" is not the norm in Nigerian relationships, it's an exception.

"I love you" from a girl could mean different things.
why do you people always feel Nigerian girls are different all everything is centered around money for us ? Please we love like any other woman around the world,we compromise,we step down so our partners can step up etc. I think you should change your crowd and your mentality and believe you will find your gem cos there are a lot of them under your nose but guys prefer in your face 40inches hair wearing and make up like juju girls.

9 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by supercolez: 10:08am On Apr 22, 2013
WITHOUT MONEY NOTHING CAN BE DONE. sad
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by AjanleKoko: 10:09am On Apr 22, 2013
devour129: why do you people always feel Nigerian girls are different all everything is centered around money for us ? Please we love like any other woman around the world,we compromise,we step down so our partners can step up etc.

Actually you just contradicted yourself.
'Love' and 'Compromise' don't go together in any context wink
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by SLIDEwaxie(m): 10:10am On Apr 22, 2013
*
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 10:11am On Apr 22, 2013
Would change dis comment if the post makes sense
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by abbeyty(m): 10:27am On Apr 22, 2013
[quote author=Ishilove]
Yes o, that's why I was tempted to gree when he toasted me. Alas, he is broke so... No d


don't worry the deal will come when you start growing grey hair down there.

1 Like

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 10:29am On Apr 22, 2013
AjanleKoko: The analysis is a bit challenging from the female angle- considering that guys have varying financial ability, and women also have varying degrees of attractiveness.
There is also the issue of overall suitability - as my financial standing improved, the less likely I was to accept just attractiveness as a criteria for a suitable mate. I also wanted similar social and intellectual status, as well as background/character.

I think in the general sense, water always seeks its own level. As much as the perception exists that women date upward (it is certainly their preference), it is only a small percentage of women that get that privilege. Most usually settle for what they can get, or get none at all. Even while most women are commenting like Ishilove 'Who wants to date a brokeass?', in reality most of them have no date at all, and eventually settle for any available fellow.

Though I agree with the male part - guys are always willing to compromise grin

Your suggestion actually waltz me towards the subject I initially intended to pursue. i.e the dwindling pool of male lovers:

My observation/hypothesis shows that the 24 to 29 age demography of women (lets call this Dxx)
have a short supply of 'right' men in that same 24 to 29 age demography (Lets call this Dxy)

In Nigeria, The 'right' men can be found more in the 32 to 42 years demography (Dyy)
Unfortunately, Dyy men that are single are few

Consequences:
1) As the Dxx ladies gradually approach the nothern age boundaries of their demography they unconciously or conciously start 'lowering' their standards for mates
2) With Dyy type males in 'short' supply, and a strong need to satisfy the aspirational instincts to mate with Dyy type men, Dxx ladies tend to throw themselves at the few single Dyy men. In the absense of this, they 'tend' to cheat with Dyy men that are married
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Chrisbenogor(m): 10:30am On Apr 22, 2013
Who is this extremely intelligent fellow?

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