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The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Matthewbriggs(m): 8:56pm On Apr 22, 2013
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Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by webizone(m): 9:07pm On Apr 22, 2013
AjanleKoko:

Well, it's not a 'strategy' at all. Just a way out for brothers who 'lost out' when they were in Uni.

Like you rightly pointed out, girls like to date upwards. So Mr Corper should take advantage, and go after uni or poly girls who live in his town of primary assignment. So he can quickly 'upskill' himself where women are concerned.

That way, when he is unleashed unto the wider world, he can be better equipped to handle man-woman interaction. Just imagine a guy who had no babe all through uni, and also roasted during his NYSC, now getting a job in a nice bank in VI, where lots of nice bubbly chicks abound. It would be more like a fish drowning in water grin

Minimal effort can be expended to get qualitative results. And there is enough room for trial and error wink


Me no get o 4 uni, now wey I don dey finish service, no hope again? Haba.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 9:09pm On Apr 22, 2013
Matthew briggs: .
you just repeated all what the OP said in fancier language.
Ishilove:
You this male secretary, leave me abeg :->
why I go leave you? No be you promise me marriage that year?
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by FXKing2012(m): 10:01pm On Apr 22, 2013
I'm glad I made it to 400 level but I have a question for our lecturer, Prof. esere826. I have seen several cases where the lady is on a higher social stratum yet goes for a guy of a lower stratum despite several offers from guys of her stratum or even higher stratum.

My point is I think love cannot be reduced to mere formula because many a time it defies logic. What do you think sir?

2 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by sayso: 11:38pm On Apr 22, 2013
Topic looking like a wake up call to guys/ladies.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by biolabee(m): 12:10am On Apr 23, 2013
Matthew briggs: What a very smart analysis at OP, from you post I deduced the following.
Your post should be called the "Desirability Quotient"

Which states that.
That the desirability of a man is directly proportional to Class and intelligence. While that of a woman is directly proportional to sex appeal and inversely proportional to Age. Given that the order of the present society remains constant.

The set "Class" is made up of the following variables such as, financial status, age, education, sex appeal and family background. With financial status been the most important variable.

It is to be noted that this quotient is used to determine desirability and possibility of you getting the one you Love or fancy to say yes to a relationship, but can not be trusted 100% to measure the possibility of finding true love.

NB: Love can not be reduced to a formula it's a force that till 2moro defies logic, it can't be bought or manipulated by tweaking your desirability value. True love is is divine.

Increasing your desirability can only help in getting you true love notice you or give you a chance.

That been said. I keep on increasing my desirability Value, to make it easier for her to say yes, and give "US" a chance.

Secondly in answer to the new dilemma faced by women who have discovered that the're is a short supply of desirable guys. They have 2 options which is either they lower their standards to a reasonable level and should'nth wait till their desirability quotient go down natural before doing so. Or they can keep contesting with the 90% women for the desirable 10%.

#Matthew Briggs

Sweet!!
The esere briggs theorem is getting traction
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 12:38am On Apr 23, 2013
brokoto: you just repeated all what the OP said in fancier language.

Yes and he admitted by saying that those were his deductions. He is just giving a summary for anyone that needs a crash course. Trust NLers, some will gate crash at 400 level and make insipid contributions. His summary is to help forestall that and help some understand the whole theorem better. wink
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by webbjamie(m): 1:03am On Apr 23, 2013
Look what adverse economic conditions have done to society's psyche... embarassed
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 7:28am On Apr 23, 2013
webb jamie: Look what adverse economic conditions have done to society's psyche... embarassed
welcome to Nigeria. cool
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 7:41am On Apr 23, 2013
FXKing2012: I'm glad I made it to 400 level but I have a question for our lecturer, Prof. esere826. I have seen several cases where the lady is on a higher social stratum yet goes for a guy of a lower stratum despite several offers from guys of her stratum or even higher stratum.

My point is I think love cannot be reduced to mere formula because many a time it defies logic. What do you think sir?

It would be great if u share one or two of the stories. It would also be nice if we have some contextual background information like:

Age of couple; economic standing of couple in the preceeding 10 years period; height of couples; look of couples; religious inclination of couples etc

This should help us in better understanding what went 'right' with them
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by chronique(m): 7:44am On Apr 23, 2013
Where are the final year students? lecturer is around o. Pls take ur seats ASAP.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 7:52am On Apr 23, 2013
FXKing2012: I'm glad I made it to 400 level but I have a question for our lecturer, Prof. esere826. I have seen several cases where the lady is on a higher social stratum yet goes for a guy of a lower stratum despite several offers from guys of her stratum or even higher stratum.

My point is I think love cannot be reduced to mere formula because many a time it defies logic. What do you think sir?
Love does not exist in this strictly differential dx/dy assembly. At best it can be defined as fuzzy.
It is phucking moot.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 7:52am On Apr 23, 2013
@Matthew briggs, ishilove et al

I appreciate your critique
which insists that love in itself is ethereal and immeasurable.

This might be the case
but we'll try our best to peel as much measurable layers off love
much like understanding sperms, eggs, zygots, fusion, fission, all in trying to understand LIFE itself

1 Like

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by biolabee(m): 7:57am On Apr 23, 2013
chronique: Where are the final year students? lecturer is around o. Pls take ur seats ASAP.

Seated
I finally cleared my carry over
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 7:59am On Apr 23, 2013
My wilderness years of breaking down LOVE lead me to these important questions

1) Why is it that when a partner dies, the living partner can later love again?
2) Why is it that someone can 'love' someone; if rejected he/she goes on to love another person later on?
3) Intelligence agencies have this way of sometimes waiting for years then appealing for people that have past information to come forward. They believe that at some point in future, bonds might have weakened

4) Why do some people fall inlove with more than one person?
5) Do we really have 'A' sould mate?
6) what happens if that soul mate is in Japan? (ref taken from TD Jakes)
7) What happens if the person whom we 'love' is married?
8 ) What happens if we love someone, the person gets missing for 6 years; we then love the 2nd person; then the 1st love appears (a rough example is Winnie and Nelson Mandela)
9) Is love only applicable when both parties love themselves? what if I love u, and u dont love me back. What happened? Did cupid missing and strike only one instead of both parties?


Look through these questions, critique, answer and draw some conclusions

2 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 8:14am On Apr 23, 2013
^^^
I de come, make I go baff. cool
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 9:07am On Apr 23, 2013
blaise26.abj:


Ok @ power scale. Well, we are all conditioned one way or the other so there will always be a pattern. Knowledge, humour, maturity and power (and an sign of steady increase in it) will always get you ladies. Especially power, it is tested and proven countless times (checkout solomon). In my opinion true love is when all these things are removed and the person is still subjected to such an intense affection. And this type can only be found in mother-child relationships. therefore i subscribe to your theory that "love" can be measured.
Bros chop knucle!!!You are absolutely right[b]
blaise26.abj:


Ok @ power scale. Well, we are all conditioned one way or the other so there will always be a pattern. Knowledge, humour, maturity and power (and an sign of steady increase in it) will always get you ladies. Especially power, it is tested and proven countless times (checkout solomon). In my opinion true love is when all these things are removed and the person is still subjected to such an intense affection. And this type can only be found in mother-child relationships. therefore i subscribe to your theory that "love" can be measured.
Bros chop knucle!!!You are absolutely right[/b]
blaise26.abj:


Ok @ power scale. Well, we are all conditioned one way or the other so there will always be a pattern. Knowledge, humour, maturity and power (and an sign of steady increase in it) will always get you ladies. Especially power, it is tested and proven countless times (checkout solomon). In my opinion true love is when all these things are removed and the person is still subjected to such an intense affection. And this type can only be found in mother-child relationships. therefore i subscribe to your theory that "love" can be measured.
Bros chop knucle!!!You are absolutely right
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 9:15am On Apr 23, 2013
esere826: My wilderness years of breaking down LOVE lead me to these important questions

1) Why is it that when a partner dies, the living partner can later love again?
2) Why is it that someone can 'love' someone; if rejected he/she goes on to love another person later on?
3) Intelligence agencies have this way of sometimes waiting for years then appealing for people that have past information to come forward. They believe that at some point in future, bonds might have weakened

4) Why do some people fall inlove with more than one person?
5) Do we really have 'A' sould mate?
6) what happens if that soul mate is in Japan? (ref taken from TD Jakes)
7) What happens if the person whom we 'love' is married?
8 ) What happens if we love someone, the person gets missing for 6 years; we then love the 2nd person; then the 1st love appears (a rough example is Winnie and Nelson Mandela)
9) Is love only applicable when both parties love themselves? what if I love u, and u dont love me back. What happened? Did cupid missing and strike only one instead of both parties?


Look through these questions, critique, answer and draw some conclusions

In my opinion,
@1-4----Human capacity to love is infinite, hence we can love more than one person simultaeneously though in varying degrees. It is all about the mix. A combination of innate qualities and characteristics that we desire in the other person usually serves as the trigger. The more desirable qualities a prospect has, the higher up the desirability quotient ladder he/she moves hence the more the prospect is 'loved' above others.

@5-6---I'd like to think of a soulmate as one with the most number of desirable qualities that we can find yet before making that commitment.I think the soulmate factor comes to play when we meet that someone who meets or surpasses most of our expectations of our desirable qualities. However that can change if someone with more desirable traits shows up but it is very rare. Unfortunately, many don't get to meet their soulmates and only settle for those they can accommodate the most and vice versa.

Ooops! Gotta run, be back later.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 9:15am On Apr 23, 2013
FXKing2012: I'm glad I made it to 400 level but I have a question for our lecturer, Prof. esere826. I have seen several cases where the lady is on a higher social stratum yet goes for a guy of a lower stratum despite several offers from guys of her stratum or even higher stratum.

My point is I think love cannot be reduced to mere formula because many a time it defies logic. What do you think sir?
This case is only possible if the boy is very handsome, Tall,very funny, or very inteligent in relation to the girl. And also the girl needs to be very comfortable financially and also young. If any of this desirable trait is present in the guy, then the OP position on dating UP by women still remain valid.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by troy20(m): 9:34am On Apr 23, 2013
esere826: .......Pastor paul continued

In his dejected state, and out of work etc, he ran into Ify who was still in university
and began a courtship with her that led to marriage.

He talks about how many times, there would be no food at home, and they would use kerosene stove to cook etc
He was very appreciative of his beautiful wife for sticking by him and asked his congregation to believe in dreams

His congregation bursted out in Hallelujah's
I could see the nod of 'shei I tell u' from the guys
while u cld see the gals trying hard to swallow this great call to faith


Me, I sat back relaxed and unemotional, and started dissecting and making sense of the story I just heard


.... I'll use my model in the case study analysis next


all dt story na lie.na 2day?
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by troy20(m): 9:41am On Apr 23, 2013
esere826: Analysing Paul's relationship


I suspect that Paul's first toastee was his equal in terms of class, age bracket and positioning
I also suspect that she was at that point in his life better financially positioned than him

The tendency would then be for her to look UP for love, and manage SIDEWAYS relationships
Paul must have at that time fluctuated between SIDEWAYS and DOWN on her power scale
thereby making him unattractive to her
especially if she was ready for marriage; and/or had other 'potential' suitors; and/or had family pressures etc
On Pauls own power scale, the first toastee must have fluctuated in his SIDEWAYS and UP range
(the man too like better thing)
bt u said his father waz a chief judge n he even had d means 2 venture abroad once? den we wey neva see border hw will u rate us.Pls cut dis bull crap of a story.its annoying
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by biolabee(m): 9:51am On Apr 23, 2013
Darn.. Too much anger in the system
Some people here travelled abroad for the first time in their 40s
Na wa o

1 Like

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by esere826: 9:57am On Apr 23, 2013
sayso: Topic looking like a wake up call to guys/ladies.



You are extremely correct
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by FXKing2012(m): 10:00am On Apr 23, 2013
chronique: Where are the final year students? lecturer is around o. Pls take ur seats ASAP.
I'm a bit late to class today ooo, hope I wont be sent out.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 10:17am On Apr 23, 2013
troy20:
bt u said his father waz a chief judge n he even had d means 2 venture abroad once? den we wey neva see border hw will u rate us.Pls cut dis bull crap of a story.its annoying
comprehension mate, comprehension. Its not enough to just know how to read o. Lol.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 11:08am On Apr 23, 2013
atbu1983: This case is [b]only possible [/b]if the boy is very handsome, Tall,very funny, or very inteligent in relation to the girl. And also the girl needs to be very comfortable financially and also young. If any of this desirable trait is present in the guy, then the OP position on dating UP by women still remain valid.

What about a situation where the guy is humble and 'level headed' or the pity factor? Some unions are born out of pity for the other fellow, some urge to be seen as the hero or redeemer. How about the rebellion factor? Some people may want to get involved with people from a particular social stratum in defiance to family traditions. Lecturer esere, I'd like you to touch on some of these points as they seem not to have a place yet in your theorem. Assistant Lecturer, Ajanlekoko pls assist in throwing more light, your views are highly appreciated.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Nobody: 11:22am On Apr 23, 2013
mekula:

What about a situation where the guy is humble and 'level headed' or the pity factor? Some unions are born out of pity for the other fellow, some urge to be seen as the hero or redeemer. How about the rebellion factor? Some people may want to get involved with people from a particular social stratum in defiance to family traditions. Lecturer esere, I'd like you to touch on some of these points as they seem not to have a place yet in your theorem. Assistant Lecturer, Ajanlekoko pls assist in throwing more light, your views are highly appreciated.
Such unions are inherently unstable, like plutonium.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by walan(m): 12:13pm On Apr 23, 2013
biolabee:

Sweet!!
The esere briggs theorem is getting traction

No be small theorem o. More peops need to see this. As this education is seriously needed.
This kind of analysis is really outside what one usually sees around here. @OP I think this should be developed further and documented. It will serve as instruction for the upcoming, myself included(even though i be old man! grin).

Nice one sha. Please dont let this insight die here o!
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by AtheistD(m): 12:51pm On Apr 23, 2013
@ OP

What about "bedroom power"? Did you account for that in your detailed equations and analogy? Do you not think that it plays a role in attaining and even holding partners? What about the fluidity within a relationship? Some partners date up but are more likely to stick to their partner if their social or financial status changes... other are not. How can we tell which will stay and which will leave?

1 Like

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by troy20(m): 1:00pm On Apr 23, 2013
brokoto: comprehension mate, comprehension. Its not enough to just know how to read o. Lol.
comprende broda.just didnt like his choice of example.tired of dem pastors leasurely serving us anytn n it becomes our life identity.somtn real instead.
Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by Unluvable(f): 1:44pm On Apr 23, 2013
@ OP

I think some people fall in love 'desired' qualities and not with the individual. That's the reason a they can fall in love with several persons that possess those qualities.

E.g. If Obi loves ada because she is pretty, smart, artistic and funny
Obi later loved nkem because she is pretty, smart, artistic and funny.

What this means is that obi is in love with pretty, smart, artistic and funny not necessarily ada or nkem. And the level of love Obi feels is directly proportional to his desired qualities.

Love aint blind indeed!!

3 Likes

Re: The Dwindling Pool Of Male Lovers In Nigeria -Love Ain't Blind by AtheistD(m): 1:51pm On Apr 23, 2013
Unluvable*:
@ OP

I think some people fall in love 'desired' qualities and not with the individual. That's the reason a they can fall in love with several persons that possess those qualities.

E.g. If Obi loves ada because she is pretty, smart, artistic and funny
Obi later loved nkem because she is pretty, smart, artistic and funny.

What this means is that obi is in love with pretty, smart, artistic and funny not necessarily ada or nkem. And the level of love Obi feels is directly proportional to his desired qualities.

Love aint blind indeed!!

So if Obi met both together, how would he choose between the two?

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