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The Worries Of A Cushion - Literature - Nairaland

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The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 11:51am On Apr 23, 2013
I'm a creative writer trying to improve on my writing. I would be glad to receive positive criticisms that would make me a better writer. Pls be careful with me,this is my first tym on posting my work on nairaland wink

THE WORRIES OF A CUSHION
James could not believe he could go through all the lectures of the day, the three hour practical and still make it to the seminar. He definitely knew he would not miss it for the world. Looking at the price tag of #1000 written on the ticket of registration in his hand, he would have dragged himself there no matter what happened for the financial obligation to the program not to be wasted. “Non-refundable” was boldly written on the same ticket. Enjoying the cool air condition and the soothing voice of the female M.C, he settled comfortably into the cushion.

Thinking to himself about all the troubles he was going through as a student, he said to himself,

“Why can’t I be an inanimate object like this seat and be totally free of worries?”
“What did you say?” was the next thing James heard. Looking round, he could not identify who said those words. The fat lady behind him was chewing gum and staring at the gyrating speaker. the guy to his right was playing virtual football on his mobile phone and the lay to left placed her jaw in her pam just plain bored about the whole experience. James thought he was hearing things and decided to ignore his over active imagination. It was then he heard that voice again,

“You probably can’t imagine what we go through”

James bent to check beneath his seat and when he met it empty could not help but whisper,

“Who is speaking?”

“The worriless cushion you are seating on of course! Imagine, so you think that because we are not allowed by the laws of nature to express ourselves that we are not alive. We are alive and well not moving though but alive. I had to break the rule this once to let you know that it is not as it seems. All inanimate objects used by humans have life. Your table, chair, beds, shoes name it all have life. They are just at the mercy of you all! Heartless scums!!”

James was just speechless. He thought he was in a trance and was probably due to the sugar imbalance in his system from not eating since morning. He remembered he read in a magazine that sugar imbalances cause delusion. He let out a fart unconsciously as his tummy churned at the thought of food.

“You knuckle head, don’t you realize that you are sitting on me and you are farting? That is your problem, you human beings just use anything and everything you lay your hands on. Can’t you respect whatever you get within your reach?”

James looked around him to see if anybody could hear anything or it was only him that could hear the quell voice. The people around him were looking quite normal, not reacting to any change in the norm.

“We too have our own problems. Yesterday, the day before, last week all came with their own problems. Two days ago, the woman with the biggest buttocks I’ve ever seen sat on me! It was the most uncomfortable two hours of our life. She covered the entire space that I could not hear a single thing the preacher was saying. I could not get my full puffiness back for close to thirty minutes, I was as flat as slate!! If that wasn’t enough, a seminar held here yesterday and I unfortunate. lt had another misfit sit on me. The boy probably had three day old beans for breakfast. He farted so much that I was choking. I’m still surprised that none of the folks sitting around him did not collapse from the stench. It seemed that there was a rotting corpse sitting on me. I felt like I needed thorough scrubbing after he stood up and now today I have a complainer that is whining. I wish I could just throw you off me right now. Maybe that’s what I would do………….!!!!

“I know we are all tired but we should try to remain alert throughout the course of the seminar. Can someone wake up that sleeping boy?” the speaker said pointing to James.

The guy playing with his phone nudged him. James opened his bloodshot eyes to see the whole hall staring back at him. He slipped off his seat and fell on the floor with a thud. The whole hall burst out in laughter and he quickly got back into the seat shame faced.

“Stop laughing at him”, the speaker said trying hard not to burst out himself.

James placed his face in his hand trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes. The laughter in the hall had died but he still heard soft chuckling. Chuckling that sounded like the voice of the cushion

ATL B.J

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Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 7:08pm On Apr 23, 2013
i need ur comments o!!!! dnt jst waka pass. afew likes too wont be bad wink
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by PetDancer(f): 1:57pm On Apr 24, 2013
Following

1 Like

Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by sholay2011(m): 4:28pm On Apr 24, 2013
This is nice. I love the idea of lending objects voice too. (I hope say my keypad no dey complain say I dey press am too much).

Try paragraphing your work and check for typo errors. You can 'modify' ur post to change that.

*Following too* Nice one, Bj.
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 4:57pm On Apr 24, 2013
sholay2011: This is nice. I love the idea of lending objects voice too. (I hope say my keypad no dey complain say I dey press am too much).

Try paragraphing your work and check for typo errors. You can 'modify' ur post to change that.

*Following too* Nice one, Bj.

Kk @ shollay, wld do as u said. But its either typo or typographical errors nt both. wink nt gifted at sighting em though sad ur Fone jst doesn't wanna complain yet.if it can't take it anymore u wld be sure to find out
@petdancer, I see u. smiley
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by BukkyDan(f): 7:21pm On Apr 24, 2013
Nice one, its funny...
Me likey
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by oyestephen(m): 3:25pm On Apr 25, 2013
What a comedic writer.....
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by IZUKWU(m): 7:28am On Apr 27, 2013
Epic
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 10:03am On Apr 29, 2013
I see u @ bukkydan, oyestephen and izukwu. I won't mind at all if u like the story smiley. Update loading ...............
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 10:10am On Apr 29, 2013
James sat at the restaurant with the plate of jollof rice laced with fried plantain and two pieces of juicy looking beef. The much anticipated food seemed tasteless not because the correct ingredients in their correct quantities were not in the food but because his taste buds had lost its power and his mouth lost the will to chew.

He looked back to the incident that happened a few hours back at the seminar and turned it around in his mind. He could not have the left the hall immediately it happened, that would have caused more laughter. He buried his face in his palms after the laughter from falling off the cushion had died down. The chuckling of the cushion stopped after he readjusted to be well seated on the cushion.

“Maybe I’ve sat over its mouth? Was it all a dream? “He thought to himself but there was no concrete answer.

He hoped that nobody in the hall recognized him and could not concentrate as the last speaker kept reeling off his experiences in business and the crowd was laughing at the speaker’s jovial nature and well-structured jokes that went according to the topic he was talking about. James wished the man would quickly round off his speech so he could take the nearest exit out of the venue. Luckily that time came soon and as the M.C came upstage to give the vote of thanks and announcements, he stood up as did some other people that were uninterested in the announcements and wanted to leave the hall to get to other activities.

James looked down as he moved with the exiting crowd; put his hands in his pockets with his shoulders hunched like someone trying hard to keep warm. He didn’t want people to know his face from the sleep incident, he could not bear to think about walking around campus the next day and people would whisper to their friends; “that’s the sleepy head that rolled off his chair during the seminar” then there would be stifled giggles if he looked in their direction. He could not live with that!

He was almost at the door, almost out of the embarrassing situation when he heard his name. His ears pricked and he raised his nose off the floor slightly to listen. Yes! It was his name and he was going to ignore the person because he was certain that the person wanted to make fun of him due to the incident that occurred. He kept on squeezing with the crowd, playing the part of the deaf man in a very noisy play. They had gotten to the scene that it seemed that the actor that was calling his name had forgotten his lines and kept repeating the last remembered line half hoping another actor would remind him what next to say. James vowed in his mind that he would remain in character what come may but this actor was consistent and anger was welling slowly in his temporarily deaf body. The voice kept moving closer to him and he tried to move father from it but the thick crowd prevented him. He could not keep his vow to remain in character because the voice that was tormenting him decided to place a hand on his shoulder. The anger had gotten to its boiling point and physical contact made it erupt.

“WHAT
He screamed as he turned to face his tormentor. The hand that touched his shoulder still froze in midair and so did the owner of the hand. James anger dissipated when he saw the face of his bi spectacled friend and course mate. Everybody around James froze too expecting a face-off between the two staring counterparts. He mumbled what seemed like a general apology to everyone that was looking at them. The frozen midair hand had thawed and gently pulled him out of the crowd to stand aside and have a little talk. The crowd also continued moving and James heard a voice ask “Isn’t that the sleeping boy? “ He didn’t bother to look back to put a face to the voice so as to avoid the person in future.

Bi-spectacled pushed his glasses up his nose and opened his back pack as he spoke,
“James, take your notebooks and your handouts, I’ve made the necessary photocopies. I didn’t see where you were sitting when I came in for the seminar ‘cause I came in late. It was when you fell off while sleeping I was able to locate you. It seems you have been reading too much, take a break tonight. The test is still two days away and we don’t have lectures till the test day.”

Bi- spectacled turned and left after delivering his speech. James stood there speechless with his notes in his hands. The crowd had thinned and he walked towards the exit. It was then he saw her!

She stood close to the door in discuss with two guys. He has had a crush on this girl since the day her saw her but he never had the chance to talk to her.
“Hope she didn’t see any of the drama that involved me?” James thought to himself as he walked towards the door. “What does it matter? She doesn’t even know I exist” He kept walking with his face down and just looked up when he was very close to her to have a final glance at the pretty face. That was the simple plan, to be able to store an image of her beautiful face in his brain that he would be able to retrieve when he needed to. But that plan changed all too suddenly, she waved at him!


He was shocked. Surprisingly at first, then panic followed immediately. What was he to do? He waved back but the wave was a disaster. He had totally forgotten that he had two notebooks in his right hand and his effort to wave back to her had the handouts spilling out of the books and littering the floor. The guys turned and assisted him pick the handouts off the floor. He thanked his stars that bi-spectacled helped him fasten the pages together to make five different handouts. He could not imagine if it wasn’t fastened and all 104 pages scattered in front of her. He would have just walked away and left the handouts there instead of having to pick every single page. He mumbled his thanks to the friendly guys; she just smiled at him when he looked at her. A little embarrassed, he just nodded and left as fast as his legs could carry him. His legs led him to the restaurant wishing that food could at least give a respite to the activities that happened all day but the pleasure he wanted to obtain from eating eluded him also.


The food still didn’t still look attractive to him so he picked the pieces of beef that decorated the top and ate them leaving the rest to the mercy of the cleaners as he walked to his hostel. He would have to rest and rest he shall. The cool late evening breeze blew and he felt a little better. He would follow the kind advice of bi- spectacled and take the night off study. He took out his mobile phone to check the time but realized that the battery had been drained. He needed to charge it. He had to get to his room and sleep so he could wake early to return to study. His other roommate of his twin bedded room was not in the room when he got there. He dumped his books on his bedside table, plugged his phone to its charger, undressed and flopped into bed.

“With the way today went by, tomorrow can’t be any worse “he said out loud to himself after a mental review of the day’s activities
How he wished he never uttered that statement.

4 Likes

Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 2:47pm On May 08, 2013
Hey y'all, sorry that there hasn't been a recent update. its been due to unforeseen circumstances. an update in the pipelines, WATCH OUT!
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 12:21pm On May 09, 2013
It was a dream. It just had to be a dream!

James could not explain what happened in his unconscious state except it was a dream. There was no other reasonable explanation to it.

“Was it a dream?? Who did I offend??” he asked himself

The experience he had in the hall that afternoon repeated itself. This time another object sort out to torture his intellectual reasoning; an object that seems harmless , one that is flat and was white when unused.
He found himself in a room painted all white, he seated in a chair. He tried to get up but to no avail. No straps, hooks or apparels held him down but his butt could not lift off the seat.

“Where do you think you are going to??” a gruff voice asked him.
He looked around to try to see if the voice had a face to it. Was it the cushion again? The chair he sat on didn't look one bit like the terrible cushion that he sat on before.

“I am in front of you, nitwit!”

Magically, typed words started to form in front of him and he just watched as the wall had black ink, neatly arranged in paragraphs with bold headings and well adjusted indentation. He looked carefully and the words looked familiar, something he has seen somewhere before, something he has read over and over. HIS HAND-OUTS!!

The entire white wall had turned to his handout, page one stared him in the face and his mouth just went agape! The pages moved toward him and he didn't know what to do. The words formed a face, a well proportioned face. Words that were above formed the brows and eyes, the mouth was formed too and shouted:

“WHAT
“You never expected this to happen? Me too! We have never been allowed to tell you human folk that we are sick and tired of your misuse and destruction. We have kept mute, endured centuries of oppression and we have not been appreciated. Cushion spoke with the everlasting master and we were given the opportunity to let you know what we are and what we go through. You would go back and tell all human folk what you went through”

“This was I was when I was first created. Clean, pure white. I can’t forget the first day that i was removed from the pack of papers to be printed upon; I was so excited and happy. I was carefully stacked and placed in a corner waiting for my owner. You came by, took me and placed me in your bag.
My first night with you was terrible. You tore half of my back to explain tactics of a football match, drew lines with your pen on almost every typed line to help you study well and even tore me when your pen pierced with your pressure applied by your hand. “

As the hand-out reeled out his experience, it started happening exactly as he said, when he talked about the torn back page, James heard a tearing sound. Lines started appearing as he complained about his use of his pen and even the tear created by the pen too showed. He felt bad about all that and decided to use a highlighter when next he reads. That’s if the hand-out forgives him and lets him read it again. The hand-out continued his tirade,
“You slept off on me and you had saliva all over me when you woke and raised your head. You woke only to squeeze me and throw me into your bag like I was the cause of you sleeping or that I offended you. Do not let us talk about all the other days, I would punish only for that first day and your punishment starts now”

The hand-out folded itself in the manner that James does when he tires of studying, twice vertically and started hitting him. James tried protecting himself from the blows and finally was able to get out of the chair. He took to running away from his assailant but the hand-out was resilient and pursued him, laughing as he hit him whenever he got close enough. The white room was so large that it seemed to be endless and there were no doors or windows so no route of escape but to keep running. James ran like he was in the Olympic 100m finals but it seemed the hand-out was Usain Bolt’s mentor for he was faster than light and was at his heel throughout the race. James fell over, exhausted, tired. He turned over with his eyes closed and hands up to protect him from the worst of his rebelled book.

The laughter just continued in its gruff voice and said
“You don’t know the value of what you have until it’s gone. This is just phase one, phase two would soon be initiated”
The laughter continued and when he opened his eyes he was on the floor of his room hands still raised.

“It had to be a dream, it just had to be a nightmare” he said as he stood from the floor looking around. He was farther from his bed than seemed logical to say he rolled off while sleeping. Streaks of light came into the room from the florescent on the corridor and that let him see the objects in the light less room.

Roommate wasn't back still; his bed was empty and still well laid so he had no way of asking if he uttered while sleeping. He had to be certain if it was real or not and only one thing would let him know that. He walked to his bedside table and his mouth just went agape with the realization that his hand-outs were GONE!!!!!!

2 Likes

Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 5:46pm On May 20, 2013
How could his handouts be gone?? Where did it go? Did someone pick it?

He looked at the table again and saw the normal occupants of the table space, his reading lamp, textbooks, his phone that he plugged and placed on the reading table and the exercise books he collected from Bi-spectacled and the handouts was not there to say “present” to his mental attendance. Well, if the handouts were there and it really said present, that would be another problem on its own.

He sat at the end of the bed with his head bowed. More questions burned in his heart and he found no answers. Questions about this incident lay like a burden on his heart and he could not just understand why he was the one that was chosen to be tortured by objects. He has not done any major harm to things before; he has never started a bush fire to burn grass, he has never cut down trees neither has he blasted through rock to get minerals encrusted within it. He never did all these, why was he punished when lumber men, mineral explorers and bush burners were changing snoring gears in their sleep wherever they were. Why him a simple student?

It just had to be a series of dreams, terrible dreams. He felt so certain that there should be psychological or psychiatric term for the condition that he had. He must be cured, he must find out the cause before he searched for a solution. He doesn’t know what the problem was so searching for a solution was like designing a car before the wheel was invented. He could search through the internet to check for information around the world if these incidents had occurred before to any other person and if there was a way to escape it.

James had luckily renewed the internet subscription on his phone before going into the seminar the day before. He stood and moved to his reading table to pick up his mobile phone and power it up to be able to have access to the world wide web. He unplugged the charger from the charging port and went back to his seating position. He pressed the power button and instead of his light to emanate from the screen like it always does, nothing happened. He hissed and blamed himself for not properly plugging the phone to the charger all night, the light from the corridor still showed that there was still electricity thus he could redeem himself from his previous mistake of improper plugging. He dragged the extension box from beneath the table closer to the bed so he could sit on the bed while he used his charging phone.

All that done, he sat and correctly connected the charger to the phone and expected the charging light to blink after a few seconds as it usually does but it didn’t.

“The battery was totally drained before so it might take a little time for it to pick up” he thought to himself.

But after two minutes and the indicator that blinks when the phone is charging did not come up. James became worried because one feature he liked about his phone was that bit charged really fast so he could use it quickly whenever the battery had been drained and he had just a few minutes of plugging to an electric source. He could not add fixing of a mobile phone to the growing expenses he had that month. He had almost spent all of his monthly allowance and his parents that about him learning to be financial independent would not send him any extra money.

He pressed the power button and the phone did not react to his thumb. He hit the phone praying that if a component had fallen out of place, it would miraculously fall back into place and the phone would start working again. That didn’t work too. He decided to check if the battery was properly placed and when he opened the back cover of his phone, he met the battery compartment EMPTY!!!!

The words of the hand out began to ring in his ears, the exact words the way it said it; “You don’t know the value of what you have until it’s gone. This is just phase one, phase two would soon be initiated”

James became perplexed! Was this phase two? Did his battery leave too? Is he going to have another dream about his battery chasing him, or worse off, plugging him to electricity so he could feel how the battery felt? He shrugged at the very thought.

He remembered at that moment that he had been angry at the battery when he was heading back to the hostel when he realized that the power in it was totally drained. So whatever he had no value for would be gone, an object that he did not treat with love and respect. That means that were still phase one, he just could not figure out how phase two would be like.

At that point, James vowed not to touch and object or sleep off till he figured out what he was meant to do.
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by oyestephen(m): 4:49am On May 21, 2013
Hehehe this is one big nightmare o cheesy
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by atlbj: 10:09pm On Jun 01, 2013
“Who would believe me even if i decide to tell the world?” he asked himself

He would be locked up in a psychiatric hospital before he could repeat the story twice. He imagined being in restrains and been watched 24 hours by ugly old nurses. He detested the thought has it popped in his head and he tried to squeeze it out.

It was at that point that Roommate came in the room from his night reading. Luckily the door was open for he was certain that if it was locked, he would have needed much persuasion and pleading to have the confidence to turn the key.

Roommate looked at him as he sat at the end of the bed with his head between his hands. He turned on the lights and asked James why he was in the dark room and did not draw the curtains to allow the sunlight in.
James mumbled some words that Roommate did not hear and Roommate decided to ignore him. He went to his bedside, removed his shirt and lay on his bed making to sleep from the stretch of all night reading he did. His back was turned to James and he curled like a baby; the way he usually sleeps. James once joked that he still thought he was in his mother’s womb. James stood suddenly and went to seat by him.

“What can I do for you?” Roommate asked without turning.
“Please, I have to talk to you” James replied.
“I’m listening”
“I need you to please sit up and listen to me”

Though Roommate was very tired, he sat up. James never asked to talk to him in this manner; he kept most times to himself. Even though he was sloppy and messy with his own things, he respected Roommates privacy and things.

“Promise me that you won’t laugh at me and what I have to say?”
“Do you want to tell me a joke? I don’t understand what you are asking from me. I’m tired and I want to sleep and you are asking me not to laugh. Even if a comedian came here to perform world class jokes, I don’t have the energy to laugh. Just say what you have to so I can get my sleep before my afternoon class.”

Roommate lied. He did have energy to laugh.

James started his story from the incident that happened at the seminar and how he fell off the seat, how he made a fool of himself in front of his crush and all the incidents that occurred since then.

Roommate was rolling on the ground when James was explaining about the handouts chasing him in his dreams. James was not unfazed by the laughing but kept on talking. He didn’t answer the questions his roommate asked in between and paid no attention to the laughter. He stopped after he told the entire story.

“And you expect me some how to believe this tall tale of yours?” Roommate asked him.

James made no effort to try to convince him but starred to the ground like he did as he told the story. Roommate stood up from the floor that he sat and looked at James critically. It was then that he realized that he wasn’t joking with his tales.
Roommate felt he needed more proof.

He walked over to the other bed in the room and picked the phone that was on it. He opened the battery compartment to meet it empty, the same way James had said. He didn’t see James’s precious handout in his stack of books, in his bag or on his reading table.

He saw and he believed. He looked at James and it was very visible that that James was scared and confused.

“What would you do now?” Roommate asked his friend standing in front of him.
I don’t know. I seriously don’t know. That why I decided to ask you, maybe you would believe me and be able to give me some advice that would be good enough for me to follow or at least something that would point me in the right direction.”

Roommate sat on James’s bed and turned the matter in his mind, paying attention to every portion. After a few minute he asked, “It started with the cushion right?”

James nodded.

“The handouts said it was the cushion that spoke to everlasting master abi?”

James nodded again.

“If it started from the cushion, I believe it should end with the cushion.”

“So what do you want me to do?” James asked.

“I think you should go and beg the cushion.”

“How do you want me to beg an inanimate object?” James retorted.

“I don’t know how you are going to do that. I don’t know how inanimate objects would be chasing you in the first place but it happening. I don’t think trying to beg the cushion is a bad idea, it’s much better than doing nothing though”

James agreed in his mind and stood from Roommate’s bed. “Okay, I would go. Let me dress up and go to the hall before any other thing happens. Can you come with me?”

Roommate stood, stretched and moved towards his bed, ” I’m very tired and sleepy. I won’t be of any help.” Roommate tried to mask his fear. He didn’t want to go through the experience James had been through and going to beg the inanimate object could incur wrath on him; he that wasn’t involved in the first place.

James opens his wardrobe to pick a shirt and trouser he could wear to the hall. What he saw was shocking.


ALL HIS CLOTHS WERE GONE!!!!!!

And on the floor of the wardrobe, his socks were arranged in a strange way. It took him a minute for his mind to understand what the different sock colors well -arranged spelt out; PHASE TWO INITIATED
Re: The Worries Of A Cushion by oyestephen(m): 10:18pm On Jun 01, 2013
Finally updated.......I love this phase two o

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