Pls I nid ur advi

what's confusing you?

sekemba: Pls I nid ur advice,am a married woman wit a set of twins,got married 2yrs back i married my husband cos I was pregnant and didn't want my parents to feel bad since I was d first born. along d line d 1 I truly luvd came back And still single n in love with me,d moment I saw him d love I had 4 him resurrected so strongly. am thinking of telling my husband and getting a divorce,cos aLl I think of nw is my first and tru luv.am so confused.

My dear that man you call your true love is now your Ex and should remain your Ex forever. Face your husband and the wonderful twins God has blessed you with. Rebuke temptation n let your Ex remain your enemy even if you have to relocate to another environment, cut all communications from him. Or else you give the devil a chance and face thw wrath that comes with it. Pray and ask God to lead you tru the right path. Good luck

u dey ok so...


wetinn go happn to ur twins....

hope u r working first cos otherwise na hunger u dey play with

Hope U ar not having an extra-marital affair already wt 'True Luv'?.
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Considering divorce?? Woman!! U do not test d depth of a river wt Ur 2 feet!!!!
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It is a child who has never been burnt dat plays wt a lighted candle.
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Ur 'true luv' will NEVER have anythng positive 2 do wt U. If U leave Ur hubby, it means dat if 'true luv' marries U (which is not going to happen), maybe after 2 yrs, anoda 'true luv' will resurface.
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2yrs, 2kids and U want 2 foolishly throw it away!
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A dog dat will get lost will not hear d hunters whistle.
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U better go on Ur knees and beg God 2 forgive Ur foolishness.

Haba! Jide, watch it! U have no right talking to her like that.

sekemba: Pls I nid ur advice,am a married woman wit a set of twins,got married 2yrs back i married my husband cos I was pregnant and didn't want my parents to feel bad since I was d first born. along d line d 1 I truly luvd came back And still single n in love with me,d moment I saw him d love I had 4 him resurrected so strongly. am thinking of telling my husband and getting a divorce,cos aLl I think of nw is my first and tru luv.am so confused.

didnt you know he was your true love when you got pregnant for another man
If hes actually your true love, you would have kept yourself for him, no matter where and how long he would stay at wherever he has gone too.

Well, you want to tell your hubby and get a divorce, o.k, go on, you know what, if one's punishment is in another country, and the person is destined for that punishment, he/she will find a way of getting there, infact, such person can sell off his/her happiness to board a vehicle to where he will suffer sorrow for life........that is irony of life.
If you like yourself and your kids, inasmuch as your hubby is not abusive or cheating on you, you better stay there and enjoy your marriage. That guy you call your true love is a distraction to you and your marriage, better flee from him and be focussed in your marriage, before your hubby start to suspect you and throw you out.


#you never know the value of a thing until you lose it.

@ OP,

First of all, if u tell hubby and u end up not divorcing him, it will be very difficult for him to trust u again. U are gonna bruise his ego telling him u never did love him cos ur marriage is just a marriage of convenience.

U may think it's impossible for u to get over true love, but with time u can and u will. What if true love actually dumped u? Wouldn't u have moved on with ur life?

What if he is infected with HIV, would u still insist on marrying him?

What if you are both AS, won't u think twice b4 marrying him?

In marriage, love isn't everything. Love should be the bedrock, but u should know that people stay married for different reasons.

Give yourself some time. Occupy your mind with something meaning and engaging. Spend more time with hubby n kids, spend more tym with ur friends and extended family.

Try to put the other guy behind u.

I hope hubby is treating u right? If not, it will be difficult to get the other guy behind you.

Tgirl , you're very dramatic.

I called somebody a shame less person and you hid my post... what's so dignitary in her behaviour, call a spade a spade and stop arousing bad behaviour. Scold her so she knows it's a no no route.

Tgirl4real: Haba! Jide, watch it! U have no right talking to her like that.

Tell me more Tgirl, people stay married for different reasons apart from Love? wonders .

Tgirl4real: @ OP,

First of all, if u tell hubby and u end up not divorcing him, it will be very difficult for him to trust u again. U are gonna bruise his ego telling him u never did love him cos ur marriage is just a marriage of convenience.

U may think it's impossible for u to get over true love, but with time u can and u will. What if true love actually dumped u? Wouldn't u have moved on with ur life?

What if he is infected with HIV, would u still insist on marrying him?

What if you are both AS, won't u think twice b4 marrying him?

In marriage, love isn't everything. Love should be the bedrock, but u should know that people stay married for different reasons.

Give yourself some time. Occupy your mind with something meaning and engaging. Spend more time with hubby n kids, spend more tym with ur friends and extended family.

Try to put the other guy behind u.

I hope hubby is treating u right? If not, it will be difficult to get the other guy behind you.

Tgirl is on point!

OP, you aren't the first to be in this situation and you won't be the last. What you have to do is to engage your full senses here and not just ride the wave of this reactivated ?infatuation with your ex.

As exciting as the prospects may seem to be with your 'true love', are you ready for the shi*t storm that will ensue? Are you ready for the emotional rollercoaster, a lengthy and messy divorce process, the insults you will receive from family, in laws, friends? People will look down on you, your husband's heart will be broken, your kids lives will be affected. All for what? Do you have a guarantee that the relationship with your ex will work out? Are you willing to risk it all only to end up parting ways in 6 months with the ex? How do you know you two are maritally compatible now after all the years that have passed by? If he does decide he wants to marry you, will he love your kids as his? Will his family accept you? The potential for drama and stress is unlimited. If you are ready for all this, if satisfying your self takes precedence over all these, then all the best with the divorce.


However if you are not ready, then join the ranks of women who did not end up with their 'true love'. Trust me they are all around you. That's life for you. You can't always get what you want.
What were the reasons you broke up before, what were the things that were wrong in the relationship? I would recommend you start ruminating on those reasons so that your eyes can truly be opened. Find other ways to gain enjoyment from your marriage. Good luck, pele.

The movie ''Not since You'' ( very good movie)... Now playing on Netflix.

jidegirl12: Tgirl , you're very dramatic.

I called somebody a shame less person and you hid my post... what's so dignitary in her behaviour, call a spade a spade and stop arousing bad behaviour. Scold her so she knows it's a no no route.



Tell me more Tgirl, people stay married for different reasons apart from Love? wonders .

Who makes you her judge? Calling her a shameless fellow is an insult to her person and goes against the rules I laid down.

No attacking of OP. Give advice or move on.

jidegirl12:

Tell me more Tgirl, people stay married for different reasons apart from Love? wonders .

Wonders?? Lol.

No worries, time will teach you...

biolabee:
hope u r working first cos otherwise na hunger u dey play with

Funny, but true

@Op, I'd lik 2 apologise 4 d harshness and rudeness on dis thread.
When someone is obviously on d wrong track, pple tend 2 run wild wt emotions.
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It is my sincere hope dat thru d harsh comments, u will undrstd dat U shld stick 2 Ur hubby and make Ur marriage work.
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Know U can always count on nairalanders 2 give U honest opinions/advice. Forgive d wild emotions.

Winneygirl: @Op, I'd lik 2 apologise 4 d harshness and rudeness on dis thread.
When someone is obviously on d wrong track, pple tend 2 run wild wt emotions.
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It is my sincere hope dat thru d harsh comments, u will undrstd dat U shld stick 2 Ur hubby and make Ur marriage work.
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Know U can always count on nairalanders 2 give U honest opinions/advice. Forgive d wild emotions.

Relying on Nlanders for sincere opinions, think again!! I'd rather see a Pastor/Imam regarding my faith..

nairaman66:


Relying on Nlanders for sincere opinions, think again!! I'd rather see a Pastor/Imam regarding my faith..

I perfectly understand why you react like this,its true all sorts are on nairaland. Very good and very bad advices are given on nairaland,its left for the op to be wise enough and sieve the good ones out of the bad ones and make good use of it. The bad ones have indeed spoilt the goods ones. Funny enough all those who give bad advices do not practice it cause the know it will sure lead them astray. Even the pastors and imams you talk about also have very bad ones amongst them which we hear of on a daily basis. May God help us all.

It seems like @op is using her heart instead of her head! Whatever that made ur lv to go away will still hunt d 2 of u.
Ladies o,women o,young gals o, don't ever open ur leg while thinking with ur heart,use ur head always!

people are focussing on the wrong issues here, ok let me be the devil's advocate:
A) the OP is clearly saying that she doesnt love the man she married and have kids with, never did never will, thus telling us all that she is unhappy and living a miserable life.

B) the OP is clearly saying that she doesnt really care about her hubby and she is willing to drop him like bad rash for someone else.the sad truth is that if it is not her "real love" it will be someone else, BUT it will happen eventually.

C) the OP is clearly saying that she has enough of the charade, enough of trying to please others, and that now she is ready to please HERSELF for once.

anyone who thinks this woman should stay married (whether true love is back or not) is clearly living in la la land. shame on you all!