Last tym i posted and wz seeking for advice frm pple concerning my bf calling his ex and sending him air time. I heard wot pple said and d advice they gave. I appreciate dat. I made one mistake of not calling off dat relationship even as i tried to do so. But now my heart bleeds because not calling it off has brought heart break and constant tears to me. My bf still calls his ex even as we talked and he deny ever having any thing to do with her. He still call her, even planned to go and see her not knowing dat i will find out. How can some men be this cruel and heartless. This is a relationship of just one yr which i knw that i have contributed a lot because i thot i wz building a future. My friends adviced me to leave him since he said he does not have future wit me. Yes he said it one day dat he is not ready to settle down now, dat he still have 5 to 6 years and bn dat both of us are of age, (he is in his late 30's while i am in my early 30's) i thot he will change his mind. Now i want out but don't knw how and what to do because we live in d same area. I need a candid advice from you to be able to think. I seriously want to call it quit because i can't stand seeing my bf cheating on me. It will kill me. I know some of u will say i am reacting out of jelousy, i think i am. Plz advice.

Leave the fool alone... At late 30s he cant stand as a man or what? He cant be committed ? I should be a multimillion at that age no doubt.

You had better let him be to save your dignity. He has told you his mind so holding on is wholly a wast of time and resources.

I understand how you feel, considering you have given a lot in this relationship. Next time, let it flow naturally and do not be in hurry to start spending... You have to find out what if he is really serious about the relationship...

If you're both in your 30's and he's still thinking of 5-6 years, then maybe you actually got to move on.
As per the 'ex' ish, i think your boyfriend is a bit stubborn about the whole thing, relationships are about compromise, if he cannot tone it down a lil with his 'ex', then other things might suffer in this relationship. I still don't believe there's anything between them, though...but it's like the guy is not even serious, anyways.

One of my life motto is never to give an advice twice. but for u I will make an exception..I was among those that told u to leave that guy alone. but I guess 'love' make people blind to the truth. you may think that u have given too much to just leave it... but remember the saying 'better late than never' word of advice when a guy tells you he doesn't want a relationship/marriage he means it dunno y ladies think if they stay he will change his mind. even if he says he agrees to get married I wouldn't advice it. past event shows he doesn't respect u and that won't change.

@2sexy.us:, thnx for your candid advice, but how do i move on? Knowing dat i will see him everyday. @alutacontinua. thnx, but i think he has something to do wit her because d rate of d calls and d hour spent on d phone,i think they hav something going on.

Z8. thnx for ur advice. But i think i wz seriously blinded by love and contributions, and d thot of, hw do i start again.

@Nora4real..

Where r u based?.. I could serve as ur rebound bf and help u heal faster.
Give urself some worth for 1c.. Haba!

behave as if he doesnt exist n take ur mind away frm him. dnt give up,wen God hasnt given up on u.there is a much more better person for u

You dont need to worry. I know age can be scary too. I know a lady who got married around that age because she was committed to helping her younger siblings. Her first pregnancy were twins-2 handsome boys. They have just added a girl to make it 3.
And you know what, she has d best husband any woman will so desire. I cant go into details.


Do not allow the age factor on yourself to blind you into the wrong hands because you may regret it later. I encourage you to be hopeful and faithful. What you deserve is a home of peace.

You can find that guy I tell you. He is out there and you should be grateful that you hadnt gotten married to a man that doesn't love you... Nothing is as bad as sticking to someone that does not love you in a relationship.

You can move on... Get occupied with more important things and be more out going.

There is a reason for all this because God wants the best for you.

Nora4real: @2sexy.us:, thnx for your candid advice, but how do i move on? Knowing dat i will see him everyday. @alutacontinua. thnx, but i think he has something to do wit her because d rate of d calls and d hour spent on d phone,i think they hav something going on.

forget about all ur contribution n impact, let it go just believe , its an eye opener 4 u. n u ve learnt ur mistakes. GOODLUCK DEAR

JUst take the bold decision of moving on, some people are just wolves in sheep clothing.

OP, take this advice... Let what you contributed not be the chain holding you.

I once contributed into a relationship I wasnt regarded as anything... So, I know how painful it is. The good news is that I have made back that money in many folds... And she has excreted what she ate from me and lost what I bought as well.

She is currently like a desolated soul wandering the earth and more confused. This is the fate with people of this nature.

A friend once told me and he said if God could open our eyes to see his plans for us...

Which is true. I cant tell you now that the money my ex left me for is almost becoming an ATM for me as I am building everyday... God is great.

The job she left me for is almost landing on my lap on a gold platter. Yeah, she weny with a guy that 'man' his father's company. Lol, so she told me back then but later said d guy didn't man any company and he just got job not quite long... Of course he lied have 5ex with her, deflowered her... After we officially broke up, she went back to the guy( so she told me). I had to let her go cos I couldn't no longer bear it anymore and considering I finally realised she doesnt love me.

Of course the guy never married her and after 3 years, they parted(so she told me. She may have lied, may be she had been with several guys within that period). She came back begging though, albeit too late.

All I am saying in essence is that so people have to leave so that we can enjoy better things of life.

Back then, I will starve and deny myself the luxury of good life... Today, it's the opposite. I enjoy my life too the fullest.

By God grace, I will get a job before the end of my service...

The boyfriend has to go so that the husband can come in--190(rephrased)

So, chill...

Darlene babe: forget about all ur contribution n impact, let it go just believe , its an eye opener 4 u. n u ve learnt ur mistakes. GOODLUCK DEAR

I wonder how someone who claims to be a man and who is in his late thirties, who has found someone willing to support and stand by him refuse to commit himself to that relationship. Op your man emotionally stingy and cares only for himself. my advice to you is that you cut your loses and move on. I was in a longterm relationship that lasted 4+ years and I worked towards it leading to marriage but she left me and I thought I couldn't do without her but believe me when I tell you that what does not kill you makes you stronger and wiser. in the beginning it would seem difficult and unsurmountable but if you persevere you'll overcome it. don't loose hope and don't let this episode change the kind of person you are when it comes to relationships

@op that your boyfriend know say that you love him wella,na him make him dey do shakara,if to say you hate am,him for dey kneel down dey beg you.
Now he has seen love in excess that`s why he is taking you for granted,that is life sha,love cannot be measured equally no matter what and the one that LOVED most will surely pay that price.
I will advice you to move on with time you will be able to forget all about him and pls don`t just jump into another relationship for now,I hope that helps.

@iebanehita. Hahahahahaaa. I will think about it.
@Darlenebabe.thnx so much.
@2sexy.us.thnx so much onca again,feeling a bit relief after reading this ur last advice and comment.
@Handsomeemmy. Thank you.

You dont know how to leave him??..
Stop going to his place and quit picking his calls..
Just move on with your life as if he doesn't exist..
Put your happiness first girl..
You deserve better..

@Youngpo413. U are right. I love him so much because i thot h will be d best. Nt knwing dat it will be lik dis. I pray to God to give me d heart to move on. Thnx so much.
@Nnekacherry.thnx. But we live in d same area,even if i don't go to his place we will see on d road.

if there's anything we all agree its he doesn't respect u. through age is Scarry in your condition but marrying him and having problems in the near future isn't worth. leave the guy. u deserve much better

Cant bliv lov could b so cruel..(sobbing)..breakup with him dear..my heart aches for u

Dump him.!!! Maybe, try staying with any of ur frnd 4 like 3wks ( i mean away 4rm the area that reminds u of him). To enable you heal emotionally and be strong enuf to move on.

Op, i ve been there before, i knw wat it means for ur hrt to bleed. He shattered my hrt then, and just like you..., i tot it was the end of the world.

But, swearie u knw wat?? I look back and i tank God for removing him away in my life. Weneva, i sit down and imagine wat life cld ve bin wit him...., i shudder in fear and shame.

“IF SOMETIN PAINFUL DID NOT LEAVE YOU, SOMETIN GAINFUL WILL NEVA FIND YOU“.

@firetrap.thank u. I think he is emotionally stingy and cares only for himself. Very true talk.
@olumaxi. Hahahahaaaa. Lol.
@nyere84. Thank u. Am planning to leave for a friend's place tomorrow. It is just dat d place is too far to my working place but i think i will cope

Nora4real: @iebanehita. Hahahahahaaa. I will think about it.

2strt with, where r u based na?

Are you looking for someone to sleep with or what? Is this the right time be suggesting such?

If you have no meaningful or worthwile contribution other than sex, I think you should just let her be!

iebanehita:

2strt with, where r u based na?

2sexy.us:
Are you looking for someone to sleep with or what? Is this the right time be suggesting such?

If you have no meaningful or worthwile contribution other than sex, I think you should just let her be!

Bros, let her speak for herself. At least, she's not complaining.

2sexy.us:
Are you looking for someone to sleep with or what? Is this the right time be suggesting such?

If you have no meaningful or worthwile contribution other than sex, I think you should just let her be!

SE.X.....
Pls, m nt Hot. And besides, I can see you have been making meaningful contributns so far...#smh.

*When d OP is going thru d pains of hrtbrk, you wld b rocking yr life whereva u r.*

@Alutacontinua.. Thanks for the reply.

Okay oh... Make una carry go.

alutacontinua:

Bros, let her speak for herself. At least, she's not complaining.

All I am saying is whatever you want to do should be of good intention...

Don't make her come here to complain again.

Carry go.

iebanehita:

SE.X.....
Pls, m nt Hot. And besides, I can see you have been making meaningful contributns so far...#smh.

*When d OP is going thru d pains of hrtbrk, you wld b rocking yr life whereva u r.*

@Alutacontinua.. Thanks for the reply.