cinder66: I realy feel for you, what more can kill a man faster than an infidel and ungrateful wife. Divorce her asap and take ur daughter far away from her reach. Now what is her gain cos am sure the cork did not stick in her punny for more than 30min. No wonder some men call us fish brains, if she no marry now, she go D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ cry foul. Mtcheeeeeeeeew

So this woman's infidelity makes it acceptable for men to call you fish brains? You should be ashamed of yourself for that statement.

@Op, I'm so sorry about what you are going through. Its obvious you can not forgive or forget what this woman did, if na me nko?. File for a divorce and remove yourself from this misery, its not worth it.

....And by the way Op, did you by chance notice any signs of waywardness when you were courting or you were too carried away with her beauty and intelligence? A lactating mother who engages in unprotected sex with her boss\family friend is too loose and has probably been that way for some time.

P.S -if cheating can so damage a man's psyche like this, I think our men should think twice before doing the same and stop seeing it as a norm or what should be accepted by the female folks.

May God help us all -

*Semuhle*Baby*:
Dnt punish the kid for the mom's mistake. If she is a good mom to her kid, especially at such a young age, there is no reason to take the kid away. Even if the Op gets a divorce, they should at least try to remain civil for the kids sake. The child needs both her mom and dad.

how can she be good to her kid when she's screwing another man while lactating? the kid is not being punished, the kid is being protected before her mother pass her whorish genes to the little child.

coogar:

how can she be good to her kid when she's screwing another man while lactating? the kid is not being punished, the kid is being protected before her mother pass her whorish genes to the little child.

Well you are not God so only he can judge her. Her being a LovePeddler or cheating does not mean she is not taking care of her child. I hate when people use anger to separate their children from their fathers or mothers. It is not right. If he feels she is a bad mother he can take her to court. But because she cheated should not be used against her because the child and remember she is 2yrs old, will suffer in the long run.

coogar:

how can she be good to her kid when she's screwing another man while lactating? the kid is not being punished, the kid is being protected before her mother pass her whorish genes to the little child.

Yes you have a point but I still believe toddlers are best kept with their mums

Grandmas are not better off and the father still needs to hustle
The new wife may be worse

Let her stay with the wife

*Semuhle*Baby*:
Well you are not God so only he can judge her. Her being a LovePeddler or cheating does not mean she is not taking care of her child. I hate when people use anger to separate their children from their fathers or mothers. It is not right. If he feels she is a bad mother he can take her to court. But because she cheated should not be used against her because the child and remember she is 2yrs old, will suffer in the long run.

I agree
The second wife will always maltreat the step kid - she will now look for house maid

A childs place is by the mum

biolabee:

I agree
The second wife will always maltreat the step kid - she will now look for house maid

A childs place is by the mum

This is very true

WhyMe222: Thank you everyone for your kind words and suggestions. May God bless you all.

On the paternity of my daughter, I have no doubt she is my flesh and blood because of the striking resemblance. She is a replica of my mum.

I want to forgive her and move past this period and work on the marriage, this is the reason why we have stayed together till this moment. I had the chance of informing both parents last Christmas but I chose not to with the hope we will survive it and move on. Yeah my wife is remorseful. She has tried in her own way to make amends but truth be told, it is not easy. I cannot lƠ̴͡Ơ̴͡k at her and not wonder how she got to that hotel, took her clothes off, slept with her colleague/our family friend, left and I possibly went to pick her up, she came back and carried my daughter, forming mother and wife, slept on the same bed with me (Oh Lord I must have been so foolish), and lƠ̴͡Ơ̴͡k me in the face to tell me she loves me. And the repeated same thing few days later, and again and possibly again and again and again till I made the discovery. They claim it was just a few times cos I have spoken with the devil himself. Before breaking the news to her after my discovery, I made her unlock her phone so I went straight to their BBM chats. Their BBM conversation and email correspondence lend credence to the fact that, they didn't just sleep with each other out of raging hormones, they were actually having an amorous affair. A supposed wife!

I wish there is a reset button so I can reset my memory and move on in my marriage cos I ĺOVƐ my wife and for the sake of our adorable daughter. But how will I cope in this misery she has put me in? Right now I don't feel anything for her anymore. I snap sometimes no matter how much I try not to. Even the way I relate with her. Our usual pet name "НONEY" is so heavy in mouth now that I just mumble it when I need to call her attention for anything.

I feel my best option is a dissolution. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. Yes I know it has its up and downs and we have had our fare share and gone past through it. This one is bigger than me. I don wanna die young or age faster than I should cos I have noticed some rapid changes.

Meanwhile, I made her confess because she was trying to be economical with the details initially. Let me also mention that in all this, I never raised a finger on her. I am one with an absolute self control. I don't subscribe to any form of violence.

God help me.

Don't sweat it bro. The marriage is over. No matter how hard you try to fix things, you'd never trust your wife again. It wasn't once, neither was it with a stranger.. Kai..She is a wicked wife and a heartless mother and she doesn't deserve you. I honestly can't wrap my head around sleeping with another man when you have a less than 1 year old baby and a husband at home.


But Er er ermmmmm....oga, please spare us the self control story. Why would you lay a finger on her in the first place? Your wife cheating on you is not an excuse to beat her. Send her back to her parent's house if you can not stand her. Shikena!

*Semuhle*Baby*:
Well you are not God so only he can judge her. Her being a LovePeddler or cheating does not mean she is not taking care of her child. I hate when people use anger to separate their children from their fathers or mothers. It is not right. If he feels she is a bad mother he can take her to court. But because she cheated should not be used against her because the child and remember she is 2yrs old, will suffer in the long run.

the child is in more danger growing with a whorish mother that lacks any decorum or scruples. i am sure you would also make this same point if a mother is a drug-addict. whoever told you children cannot be separated from their mothers is brainless - women are the biggest offenders when it comes to child abuse - go figure!

coogar:

the child is in more danger growing with a whorish mother that lacks any decorum or scruples. i am sure you would also make this same point if a mother is a drug-addict. whoever told you children cannot be separated from their mothers is brainless - women are the biggest offenders when it comes to child abuse - go figure!

Coogar strictly speaking they are not the same

Strippers raise upright babies

Right from d begining in eden, women have always been a mistake, a deadly one 4 dat mata... Even God 1st made d mistake.

We have talked about joint custody if the marriage finally collapses which is very likely. I agree my little girl will be better off with her mum. But the thought of her not growing up under my watch is killing me. I love her to bits and wanna enjoy her stages of growth. But this I am going to miss. It's killing me.

coogar:

the child is in more danger growing with a whorish mother that lacks any decorum or scruples. i am sure you would also make this same point if a mother is a drug-addict. whoever told you children cannot be separated from their mothers is brainless - women are the biggest offenders when it comes to child abuse - go figure!

So a man that cheats on his wife when pregnant would make a bad father. How can you compare a cheater to a drug-addict Smh. I still say that if the wife has been treating or neglecting the baby then he has valid reasons to separate mother and child, if not then there is no reason to do that to the child at least at such a young age.

WhyMe222: We have talked about joint custody if the marriage finally collapses which is very likely. I agree my little girl will be better off with her mum. But the thought of her not growing up under my watch is killing me. I love her to bits and wanna enjoy her stages of growth. But this I am going to miss. It's killing me.

It can be managed but civility is key

That's what seperates us from beasts

Even kids who have grown up with pastors as parents can be wayward etc so coogar you are really making false assumptions.

WhyMe222: We have talked about joint custody if the marriage finally collapses which is very likely. I agree my little girl will be better off with her mum. But the thought of her not growing up under my watch is killing me. I love her to bits and wanna enjoy her stages of growth. But this I am going to miss. It's killing me.

You do not have to miss it, you can still be there for her as much as you can and see her everyday if possible.

*Semuhle*Baby*:
Even kids who have grown up with pastors as parents can be wayward etc so coogar you are really making false assumptions.

Coogar , over to you

Wow!

biolabee:
Coogar strictly speaking they are not the same
Strippers raise upright babies

strippers are not cheats and they are not whores..... if you wait long enough till 4am, their husbands/partners come to take them home! stripping is a profession, please don't compare it to infidelity!

*Semuhle*Baby*:
So a man that cheats on his wife when pregnant would make a bad father.

i want to know the kind of foundation or example that cheating father is setting for his child. surely, what he's doing is edifying, isn't it?

How can you compare a cheater to a drug-addict

your over-emphasis on separation is the reason i cited the drug addict instance. if the mother is going to do more harm psychologically to the child then it's better they are separated. i shudder to think what kind of upbringing a mother of this ilk would give to get child. she would probably be sending her on errand at age 5 to go buy condoms.

Smh. I still say that if the wife has been treating or neglecting the baby then he has valid reasons to separate mother and child, if not then there is no reason to do that to the child at least at such a young age.

to each his own,
personally, i would not let my child grow with such a disgusting woman. screwing another man during lactation period. how grotesque!!!! some women make me sick to my stomach!

*Semuhle*Baby*:
Even kids who have grown up with pastors as parents can be wayward etc so coogar you are really making false assumptions.

at least then, the fault lies with the kid and not the parents. the parents have done their best. you are doing the equivalent of saying even houses with strong doors get raided so you won't put a door in your house.

your logic induces projectile vomiting.

coogar:

strippers are not cheats and they are not whores..... if you wait long enough till 4am, their husbands/partners come to take them home! stripping is a profession, please don't compare it to infidelity!



i want to know the kind of foundation or example that cheating father is setting for his child. surely, what he's doing is edifying, isn't it?



your over-emphasis on separation is the reason i cited the drug addict instance. if the mother is going to do more harm psychologically to the child then it's better they are separated. i shudder to think what kind of upbringing a mother of this ilk would give to get child. she would probably be sending her on errand at age 5 to go buy condoms.




to each his own,
personally, i would not let my child grow with such a disgusting woman. screwing another man during lactation period. how grotesque!!!! some women make me sick to my stomach!

Yes you are right not all strippers are whores
It was an example to show that not all things are conclusive

I still believe she is best with the child at the moment

Real life prostitutes raise kids too and it does not mean they are in the same profession and as someone said children of pastors can be wayward at times

You are being sentimental
This is a career woman

She made a series of errors in judgement
Maybe the relationship pre dates the marriage

so Op do you think your wife is a bad mother? Do you think your child would be happier and better off without her mother? Do you think your child would cry a day without seeing her mother? These are the questions you should answer personally for yourself based on your situation. Everyone is different and have different opinions, what works for one may not work for another. I personally blv that cheating does not determine whether one is a bad father or mother it is how they are with their kids and how they treat them. You can have the nicest person on earth raise a child who could become a murderer, so try not to listen to bitter stereotypical advice because at the end of the day, you have to live with your choices.

ifeness:

What about seeking the face of Africa?

dnt worry him go seek ur Face.

OP

This is so sad. I just hope the randy lover boy is getting a lot of heat from his own wife too and not just enjoying his life like nothing happened

biolabee:
Yes you are right not all strippers are whores
It was an example to show that not all things are conclusive. I still believe she is best with the child at the moment

this is marriage - not some around the corner relationship.

Real life prostitutes raise kids too and it does not mean they are in the same profession and as someone said children of pastors can be wayward at times

a pröstitute is better than this woman. at least, with a prostitute i know what to expect and any waywardness would not throw me into a state of shock.

You are being sentimental
This is a career woman

which is the more reason i would be angry - she ought to have known better.

She made a series of errors in judgement
Maybe the relationship pre dates the marriage

she committed a cardinal sin.....

*Semuhle*Baby*:
so Op do you think your wife is a bad mother?

Sincerely, I cannot say she is a bad mother. However, change being a constant, I cannot vouch for tomorrow. If she can toss off the window the sanctity of her marriage and destroy it by her own volition, no saying what she can do tomorrow.

coogar:

this is marriage - not some around the corner relationship.



a pröstitute is better than this woman. at least, with a prostitute i know what to expect and any waywardness would not throw me into a state of shock.



which is the more reason i would be angry - she ought to have known better.



she committed a cardinal sin.....

Yes we all agree she committed the cardinal sin
The issue we have here is the child and where the child should be

@ Coogar so career and business men dnt cheat because they are educated and should know better Are you listening to your rational. Even the president has cheated many times. A cheater can be anybody irrespective of career and class. But as the guy said that the lady is trying to amend but he cannot seem to get it out of his mind. So they can divorce worse case scenario, But the child should not be paid or punish because of that, and only those who think with anger and emotions will fail to see that.

MMotimo: OP

This is so sad. I just hope the randy lover boy is getting a lot of heat from his own wife too and not just enjoying his life like nothing happened

Funny enough, because I didn't want the news to go ballistics, I covered up for them when the man's wife stumbled on their BBM chat too and stormed my house with the man spoiling for war.

*Semuhle*Baby*:
@ Coogar so career and business men dnt cheat because they are educated and should know better Are you listening to your rational. Even the president has cheated many times. A cheater can be anybody irrespective of career and class. But as the guy said that the lady is trying to amend but he cannot seem to get it out of his mind. So they can divorce worse case scenario, But the child should not be paid or punish because of that, and only those who think with anger and emotions will fail to see that.

Cool

WhyMe222:

Sincerely, I cannot say she is a bad mother. However, change being a constant, I cannot vouch for tomorrow. If she can toss off the window the sanctity of her marriage and destroy it by her own volition, no saying what she can do tomorrow.

Unfortunately your wife is not here to tell her side of the story. So because you are divorcing your wife, can i also say that you lack commitment when times are hard so there is no saying what you can do tomorrow such as not being committed enough to your child. If today she is ok then there is no need to look into tomorrow. If tomorrow she is bad then you can take matters to the court. You cannot predict the future, who knows you divorcing her could be the change that she needed to be a better person, mother and perhaps a better wife to somebody else.

*Semuhle*Baby*:
@ Coogar so career and business men dnt cheat because they are educated and should know better Are you listening to your rational. Even the president has cheated many times. A cheater can be anybody irrespective of career and class. But as the guy said that the lady is trying to amend but he cannot seem to get it out of his mind. So they can divorce worse case scenario, But the child should not be paid or punish because of that, and only those who think with anger and emotions will fail to see that.

your points are all over the place - the cheating bit is the least of her misdemeanour. if she had done it with a random man at a different period in the marriage then i wouldn't even bother.....

•she cheated with her husband's friend.
•she cheated when she was nursing a child
•she did not only ruin her marriage but she has also ruined the friendship between her hubby and the other philandering hilly billy.

Can i ask a question. Did your friend know your wife before you got married? And who knew who first?

coogar:

your points are all over the place - the cheating bit is the least of her misdemeanour. if she had done it with a random man at a different period in the marriage then i wouldn't even bother.....

she cheated with her husband's friend
she cheated when she was nursing a child
she did not only ruin her marriage but she has also ruined the friendship between her hubby and the other philandering hilly billy.

The friend is what makes it painful but it takes two, what kind of friend cheats with his friends wife. Are they both not friends with the guy. Am sure perhaps the cheating could have happened way before she was pregnant, who knows. I am not saying she is not bad, I dnt understand how a women or men can cheat let alone when the woman is pregnant or has a baby. Thats their ish. The thing i am concerned with is the baby. Would you have enjoyed or like to have grown up without your mother at 2yrs old?