I've been married for over a year now and I have a daughter, my wife is a very wonderful person, she's beautiful and well mannered and I still love her and care very much about her. There's also this girl that I was dating before I got married, the day I told her I was not going to marry her was hell but the irony is that we are still together and now we are discussing marriage. Is anything wrong marrying her?

skywalker:

I've been married for over a year now and I have a daughter, my wife is a very wonderful person, she's beautiful and well mannered and I still love her and care very much about her. There's also this girl that I was dating before I got married, the day I told her I was not going to marry her was hell but the irony is that we are still together and now we are discussing marriage. Is anything wrong marrying her?

Seee this man ooo, U this stupid man! U have a wife at home, and u are thinking of marrying another woman. Ehnn, u were actually dating another girl and u actually STILL are dating the same girl, while in marriage with a daughter. Which kind of human being are you self??

Okay wait, why am i insulting you?

Here's the deal, Since u can have an affair out of your marriage, and u are considering marrying this new girl, i don't think u need our help.

U don't love your wife, stop lying to yourself. It doesn't make your wife feel better if u tell her that "i still love you, but i want another wife".

That is sick! U can't love the mother of your daughter, and still be talking marriage with another girl out there.

You've made up your mind already.

Can u hear yourself? You were dating this girl even before u married your wife. Then u continued dating her while in marriage, Then u continued dating her after u had a daughter, then u continued dating her EVEN after all that. Now u come here to tell me u still love your wife. What a good way to show love. fxck me saturday night and go to your girlfriend's house monday night. All in the name of "late office work".

seee ehn, I don't know u, but please don't make me hate you. "The irony is that you are still together". WHICH IRONY?? THE TRUTH IS THAT U DON'T LOVE UR WIFE. U Don't care about your daughter, and u obviously are in love with this other woman, which makes me soo mad.

Since u were in love with her before marrying your wife, why then didn't u MARRY HER! I mean the other lady! You shoulda married her, and then u won't have to deal with all this.

----
Now let me stop being angry, and talk something that makes more sense. U need to leave this other lady, and sort your marriage out! If u still love your wife like u claim - which by the way i think is a lie. Then u will forget all about this other lady.

Afterall, if u really loved her, u woulda married her and not your present wife. That other lady could be great at sex, but trust me honey, she ain't good for nothing else. U saw her before u married your wife didn't u? If she was all that, u woulda choosed her not your wife.

Get out of that shell now, and go work out your marriage! Tell that lady that, u are sorry, but you have a home to build. Be there for your daughter and wife. U don't need a second wife.

Or were u forced to marry your present wife? Cos seriously speaking, if this other girl was wifey material, u wouldn't have married your wife. It's not like u started dating her after u married your wife. U've been dating her before u did!

Now u have the wifey material, u have the woman that'll cook, take care of the house, become a child bearing machine. So u now need a sisi oge, the one u can take to parties, and the one u can have the crazy wild sex with. Shiooo, After that, u'll think of third wife. Sha don't come near my sisters/friends. I'll pursue u!

bull Rubbish!!!!!!!!! do U only care bout Ur fxxking feelings what bout that of ur wife??
better stop talking that shxt!

Hahahaha! H-Angel, I like the way you dropped it like it's hot. Good job.

not acceptable.

Skywalker, you wont get a good advice here. Your type of questions is best thrown to friends, elderly or even close confidants and certainly not in public like this. You see, Nigerians are the greatest pretenders, whilst they are in the same scenarios as you are, they will give you different advice especially those that people would like to hear or listen to. One truth is that, of those ladies who will condemn your actions here, some will not mind being a second wife, so long as she thinks you can take good care of her. As for my own candid opinion, while I dont see anything wrong in having a second wife because a lots of our ladies are without fiance nowadays because lots of men develop cold feet when the issue of marriage come up, at the same time, I will suggest you think very well about it because like my people used to say, 1 wife is two problem and 2 wife is four problem. Best of luck pal.

H-angel, thumbs up. I needn't say more.

i think it's very wrong,damn no man will do that to me
i'mma kick thire axx frist

I strongly agree with twinstaiye here,  many of the ladies here will not tell you the truth. The best answer they will give you will be emotionally ladened, yet how many of them are saying they can't be second wife and they still date married men. There are folks who has 4 wives and they are all living in peace , there are folks who has 2 even 1 and yet their home is hell on earth. The difference is how you choose to plan your life. And be sure that your wife must be happy at all times, if the happiness in your life, and in your home will be at stake  guy don't even think about it but if you knowyou are up to the task of balancing an uneven equation then why not go ahead, you won't be the first and you will never be the last to try it out. I don't think I want to have 2 wives but like they say the person who's still alive does not know the kind of death that will kill him. Good Luck.

Geez! Hell ya! A whole lot of things are wrong with a second wife. I can't believe that you are asking that here. Others have responded appropriately. You are an adult, and if anything you should be looking more at yourself if this is what you want to do. You have barely been married, and you are thinking about a second wife. How are you even sure your current wife will put up with that? In this day an age, people are still talking about second wife, na war oh! One wife and kids is a major responsibility, add another one(what for) you just magnify the issue. I am not even sure you should have married in the first case.

Good luck to you bro!

O Boy skywalker,

its you that something is wrong with, not just in marrying her.

Infact everything is wrong with gettin a second wife. Everything

beyunce:

Infact everything is wrong with gettin a second wife. Everything

But a lot of people have more than one wife. Most of our past leaders have more than 1 wife. Most rich people in Nigeria are polygamous. Where a man has one wife, he compliment from concubines and sleeping outside the marriage. Is this what we all want, my point here is dont condemn having a second wife, it is been practised and lots of people indulge in it. Why objecting to something that we may end up with or someone close to us. The more we discuss it here, the better to be acquainted with it. Let us all live in real world, not a world of fantasy that is full of what we want.

twinstaiye:

But a lot of people have more than one wife. Most of our past leaders have more than 1 wife. Most rich people in Nigeria are polygamous. Where a man has one wife, he compliment from concubines and sleeping outside the marriage. Is this what we all want, my point here is don't condemn having a second wife, it is been practised and lots of people indulge in it. Why objecting to something that we may end up with or someone close to us. The more we discuss it here, the better to be acquainted with it. Let us all live in real world, not a world of fantasy that is full of what we want.

Just because alot of people have more than one wife don't mean he should have more than one wife. Do u know wat goes on in those families? I mean the trouble? The hatred? The Problems?

Most of these people u are talking about are stinkingly rich. All they need to do is give the kids a car, a driver, and money money. This guy askin us question is probably just an average man who's income is not more than (i reserve my comment).

I know that polygamy isn't a new thing, but why encourage it when u can stop it? What ever happened to love? You alone for ever? U didn't tell me u alone till my breast start falling!

Thing is ehn, u r actually the one living in a fantasy world. IN THE REAL WORLD>, TWO WIFE IS TROUBLE! Trust me, no matter how much the families put out to love each other, there's always that inner hatred.

U are in a fantasy world, cos u r thinking about the rich hausa men, and all the rich big big people will the 5 6 4 wives.

Again, i say, forget abt that woman out there, and make things WORK between u and ur wife. If you love that other woman sooooo much, u would have made her ur wife, instead of ur present wife. Think about it, u know ur present wife is better.

Or did they put knife on ur neck to marry ur present wife? Mmbanu, i didn't think so!!!

twinstaiye:

But a lot of people have more than one wife. Most of our past leaders have more than 1 wife. Most rich people in Nigeria are polygamous. Where a man has one wife, he compliment from concubines and sleeping outside the marriage. Is this what we all want, my point here is don't condemn having a second wife, it is been practised and lots of people indulge in it. Why objecting to something that we may end up with or someone close to us. The more we discuss it here, the better to be acquainted with it. Let us all live in real world, not a world of fantasy that is full of what we want.

Well. i agree with Hot-angel. two wifes are trouble am sure u know that.

no Dear,
there is nothing wrong with marrying 2 wives, hmmmmn?
only, know that the more women in ur life, the less ur peace and, the shorter ur life span !

just dont do it mannnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

marrying two wives is bullshitz and any woman that agrees to play second fiddle is probably a lazy woman or a hoe who is dependent on a man to give her all she needs in life.sayiong you love your wife is a lie because if you love her,you wont contemplate marrying anoda woman because you would be breaking her heart unless your wife is a lazy woman or a hoe.

wake up skywalker b4 you name becomes graverunner

dont do it!

polygamy is deh pits of eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil!!!!!

instead marry one wife and have a 1,000 concubines!

its called the way of the HYPOCRITE and it is SECOND NATURE to all us niger-areans!

then u can safely yap and abuse and call all the polygamous ppl out there names yet be smug that ure doing the same thing and ure dumb wife doesnt have a CLUE!!!!

in fact even if she does have a clue she'll pretend not to know cos at least u didnt DISGRACE her by marrying another woman into the house! Afterall what kind of HYPOCRITE would she be if she actually had to ACKNOWLEDGE that her husband cant keep his KPACKS in one KONGO?!??!?!??!

HER OWN KONGO FOR THAT MATTER! the shame!

look, in naija hypocrisy rules!!! Hypocrisy and evil and oju-kokoro!!!! (foolish man, why u dey eye another man food? its ppl like u that chop all the fine gels commot for ground make poor man no fit chop. hisssssssss, )

of course u can marry her, my grandfather had 14 wives, my dad had 4 wives, and we get along just fine except that the wives don't talk to each other, the kids don't trust each other and most of us have never met ourselves

: Big Shishi with all the wives your people married am sure the gap between the marrages was more than one year.
Other men wait like 5 or more.
People will start saying there is something wrong with the first wife.

@sky
firstly i like to command you for your courage for being open and seeking advise on a matter like this one, what a man u are!
please dear. i could urge you to take some personal moment for urself and rethink before the making of the decision. take the moment to seek the face of god. my brother , there is no matter too big for god. commit everything to the lord in prayer, and he will direct ur path. i urge u to also join faith with ur wife and pray together.

i see that u are deeper in love with ur current wife. the things u said concerning her shows u still have much love for her. so i believe what u need is the holy spirit to open ur inner eyes to see that this other woman in question is just there to confuse u(and u are already in that state now) and break that beautiful and godgiven union u have with ur wife. so by the time u allow god into ur situation, u will flee from her.

some people have no job. their job is to break marriage. yes marriagebreakers!!!
so will u sit there and watch them break ur marriage

Hot-Angel! Tell me what you really think? Baby girl you had me in stitches. You really brought it, huh?. . .But then I got sad b/c the way you dropped it reminded me of. . . .Life's so short & some people spend on some shIt. Sad.

Ol' boy the answer to your question is simple. If you found out that your wife has been having an affair with another man and you have no problem with it or you know you would have no problem allowing your wife to go out and have her "fun" with other men whenever she gets bored with you, then it's all good. But if you think you're the only one entitled to spice up your life with a new **ssy, but your wife should not get the same privilege, then 'ol boy, your head no dey house. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Good luck. 

And yes, polygyny might have been part of Naija's past but it doesn't make it okay, nor does it mean the past should not be changed. Maybe you and your wife should look into having an open marriage, like Jada and Will Smith. Although I'm not sure if that was part of her plan when she married you. At least you'll both be fair and honest with each other.  Good Luck again.

:owat

personally, I think it is not right but on the other hand, it could be justified due to reasons like if the first cannot have kids or she is messing around and not being submissive or not treating her husband right.

my 20 kobo

is anything right with getting a second wife?

thats where we should begin.

you can marry as many wives as possible so long you can take care of them my grand father had 9 wives they all lives happily and he died at the age of 99

Okay - I first of all think you have pretty much done a good job - Hot angel.

Skywalker, my own question is of what religion are you?
Whichever one it is, you don't love your wife if you are still dating that girl. Maybe you married your wife out of desperation or whatever. You need to retrace your steps. If you have a daughter with your wife - what is more important, your daughter or just another woman. Imagine what if the other woman hates your daughter with passion? then what will you do? It is not right. Your daughter has done nothing wrong by coming to you, you really need to get your sh!t together b4 you make a decision that can not be reversed.

I don't see any woman being happy with 2nd wife position. It is wrong.

Mr. Skywalker, It may be okay in the Star Wars Galaxy, but here on Earth it's selfish and wrong.

You are digging your own grave.