From the perspective of our brains, personal goals define who we are. Our goals are our identity. And when we think and act based upon goals that reflect our core values as well as what we have to deal with due to life’s stresses, we create an identity for ourselves that can withstand any stress.

Without goals, we are simply our reptile and emotional brain reacting to our surroundings. Our core identity, or self, is based on our fundamental values that become goals, and it guides us in what we focus on every day.

An identity based on alarm goals will almost always lead to stress. Alarm goals don’t guide us toward whom we need to be in our lives, they push us toward what we feel we have to do in order to escape a problem or satisfy an addiction. Alarm goals lead us to define ourselves in terms of temporary satisfaction or chronic problems, both of which are a recipe for feeling not only stressed, but fundamentally incomplete and unfulfilled.

For example, say your life revolved around watching a particular television show, or following the events in a celebrity’s life.

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