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Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? (12431 Views)

Poll: Should wives have to submit and obey?

Yes: 79% (39 votes)
No: 20% (10 votes)
This poll has ended

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Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by lunafish(f): 6:27pm On May 15, 2006
I ask this question because I have witnessed some traditionalist and patriarchal statements being made on this website that both confuse and infuriate me.

The notion of wives submitting to their husbands comes from the bible though that does not make it RIGHT eg. The "Good" book also tells us to kill our family members and firends if they are not believers. We are living in modern times (if you're not, please emancipate yourself and get with the times) and therefore the idea of a woman appeasing her husband and following his every word is in short, absurd.

Considering the state of the world, we have seen the leadership of men result in atom bombs in Nagasaki, the failure of communism in China, this "holy" OIL war in Iraq and others. So why must a man be entrusted with the right to lead especially in his own home?

I don't believe in either spouse being subservient as slavery was abolished 200 years ago. Does a man have to have a submissive wife to feel like a man? If so then he can't be entrusted to lead anyone because if your power is dependent on the lack thereof for other-then you don't have any at all.

I say all this because I don't underatand what a man and his family hopes to gain from having a "yes" woman as a wife and or mother. I definitely don't see how this can benefit a woman either.

So [b]should wives submit to their husband[/b]s?
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by eveseh(f): 6:36pm On May 15, 2006
think so undecided undecided undecided,but i dont really know becos am not yet married
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 6:45pm On May 15, 2006
So you want to marry b4 you find out.
My answer Hell NO
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by eveseh(f): 6:47pm On May 15, 2006
mamaput:

So you want to marry before you find out.
My answer Hell NO

lol mamaput,lol
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 6:52pm On May 15, 2006
You know eveseh its not funny.
You have to know what you want In Life and go for it.
When it comes to marrage there is no maybe about it.
Or you may wakeup to find yourself in your worst nightmare
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by eveseh(f): 7:00pm On May 15, 2006
mamaput:

You know eveseh its not funny.
You have to know what you want In Life and go for it.
When it comes to marrage there is no maybe about it.
Or you may wakeup to find yourself in your worst nightmare

u right mamaput,that's right
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by DaHitler(m): 7:17pm On May 15, 2006
I do not like submissive women. I like my women more on the independent side.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by lunafish(f): 7:53pm On May 15, 2006
Thanks to Afeni and especially to Mamaput.

For me- triple Hell Nawwwwwww to submitting to your husband

Seeing eye to eye is a priority.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by babwilms(m): 9:22pm On May 15, 2006
Very funny thread. How dear us to question God given commandements?

Hope you are not referring to the bible by saying it tells us to kill our family members and friends if they are not believers. Absolutely nonsense. Please tell me where you read that!

Do you know better than God to be saying his commandements are not right? What is the bible meant for? Isn't it meant for our guidiance.

Does been submissive mean slavery? People are very funny. Wife been submissive does not mean one has a yes woman has a wife or mother. If u say a wife been submissive to her husband means slavery, then the husband loving his wife means stupidity. Also if a man loves his he will always have the interest of his wife at heart.

Don't you all know that bending away from God given rules means we are creating more problems, which is evident in today's world. You see people complaining about the rate of divorce going up, while the man is not learning to love his wife and the wife not been submissive her husband.

The truth is that we need to go back to the word of God, or else we would keep having problems in this world. Then again everything had been predicted to happen.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by hotangel2(f): 9:53pm On May 15, 2006
Yes wives should submit to their husbands.

BUT! Wives shouldn't become didirins (dumb-asses) because they r submitting!
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mukina2: 9:58pm On May 15, 2006
yes offcourse cuz he's the soldier in tha house but it shud'nt be like a master n hiz slave o
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by goodguy(m): 11:59pm On May 15, 2006
babwilms has said it all!

The first poster obviously misunderstands what the Bible means by "Women should submit to their husbands". Submissiveness is not slavery at all. It's more of regards and respect.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by LadyB(f): 2:51am On May 16, 2006
wives summit to your husbands. husband love your wife. this is the word of god, and if you're a child of god at heart you will abide by it. the bible never says women are slaves and thats why they should summit to their husbands.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by BellaRouge(f): 4:34am On May 16, 2006
Wives should not have to submit to their husbands. "To respect" and "to submit to" are two different things. In a marriage both the husband and the wife should respect each other, but no one should be superior to the other; equality is key!
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by kajad(m): 8:30am On May 16, 2006
Marriage is by consent.
Anyone that wants partnership can go sign a partnership agreement.
Anyone that wants marriage should go and marry according to his/her believes.
I most of all pity those being lead by bible quoting lunafish. . . . you ‘re already divorced before marriage. cry cry cry
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by beyunce(f): 8:35am On May 16, 2006
I believe as a wife there are some specific ways that u will have to submit to ur husband.
But that does nt mean that u should let him take advantage of that.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Nia: 9:27am On May 16, 2006
Interesting thread. To answer your question: No, a woman should not have to "submit" to her husband, but many people like to twist things and use their holy book to get what they want out of relationships and life in general. This has been the case since time immemorial.

It's interesting that you point out something some people like to ignore: which is that believing that your partner has to be weak/submissive in order for you to be strong. Having a submissive wife doesn't make you any more powerful than a boxer who is fighting an opponent that is clearly less stronger than he is, but yet he's happy that he won. Now if he fights someone who is as strong/powerful as he is and still wins, then we can say that he is truly strong. Otherwise pouncing on a weaker opponent and thinking highly of yourself is something else, but "strong" is not the word that comes to mind.

But what's more interesting is how marriage is still seen through the lens of egoism and self-interest. IMO, this is a remnant of the way marriage worked in Africa in the past. We must remember that in the past, marriages in Nigeria (and many parts of Africa) were not really about love, but more for comfort, convenience, financial arrangements, etc, which is why the laws were rigid about "women must do this and not that"

IMO, marriage is about partnership, sharing, fairness and equality. When you decide to marry someone they become a part of you in a way that no one else can. So much so that, at times, things that bring them pain, brings you pain as well. Having said this, then, I don't know why you would want to have them "submit" to you like they are below you.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by naijacutee(f): 10:25am On May 16, 2006
Of course wives should sucmit to their husbands

We should also be as smart as serpents but as gentle as doves

I.E We should know the difference between submitting and taking the piss.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by DaHitler(m): 10:43am On May 16, 2006
Wow, the church has done an excellent job in getting you ladies to conform. I am sure that the words of the bible is not in anyway reflecting on the sexist society that existed in those times. undecided
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by bolex(m): 3:26pm On May 16, 2006
you don't need to say much

duhhhhhh!!!!!!

wives should be 200% submissive

& men should also respect thier wives
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by babwilms(m): 4:37pm On May 16, 2006
Funny isn't it? What else should the wife do rather than to be submissive to her husband.

It's like asking "Should husbands love their wife".
What else should he do than to love is wife.

All those in support if wife not been submissive to their husband just don't know the meaning of the word SUBMISSIVE and LOVE.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Rottweiler(m): 5:26pm On May 16, 2006
Deviation from the teachings of the bible has put most people in the state they are now.
Point of correction: being submissive ain't slavery! All that is required is for you to accept that the man is the head of your home. For every relationship/association to last, there must be a form a hierarchy. Even at work, we pay obeisance to certain category of people because we have accepted them as BOSS. Why can't most women do the same at home? God has made man the head of a family. I know some people will disagree, that's your problem. Don't be submissive, you will end up being a divorcee! It's the simple truth. some women who have made terrible mistakes in their own marriage end up painting the wrong picture to others thereby initiating them into their association of losers!
Do the right thing (submission) and you would have a wonderful marriage, that's if you had not made the mistake of marrying somebody that disrespects you.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Nalijah(f): 5:47pm On May 16, 2006
The Bible has instructed wives to be submissive to their husbands. The scriptures also state the woman as a helpmate to her husband. Also a man and a woman are suppose to cleave together as "one flesh", meaning unity. The husband is the HEAD of the home and the leader. The wife is the helpmate.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by vickybabe(f): 3:18am On May 17, 2006
i think wife should submit to their husband because there is a reason why God made Adam first .
as 4 mii oh, if that husband 2 bossy i no go <suuu-----------what>
LOL smiley
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Nia: 8:08am On May 17, 2006
Afeni:

Wow, the church has done an excellent job in getting you ladies to conform. I am sure that the words of the bible is not in anyway reflecting on the sexist society that existed in those times. undecided

Well, you know what they say: You can fool some of the people all the time, and you can even fool all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all the time.
I think it's a mini-reflection of the state of Naija. As Naija gets better and things begin to improve in the country, people will wisen up.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by alheri(f): 11:04am On May 17, 2006
Ive got no problem with submission, my husband and I understand that submission doesnt mean slavery. I believe a woman can get her husband to do whatever she likes when shes submissive. Its a concept that has been thoroughly misrepresented. Mostly cos some men take advantage of the situation and then the women feel they have to react to defend thier dignity.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by twinstaiye(m): 11:33am On May 17, 2006
Yeah sure, that is one of the things i look out in a woman. My wife is always submissive to me. I guess i compliment that by being submissive to her too.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mmomi(f): 12:17pm On May 17, 2006
Yes a woman should be submissive to her husband = this means that she should take her husband as her 1st son, love him and treat him like a baby
BUT this is only applicable to a man who loves & respects his wife. It is not for HE-GOAT who thinks that he can easily get another woman, that he married her for making babies.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Seun(m): 5:52pm On May 17, 2006
Women that claim to be submissive are usually manipulators. An expert manipulator (woman) can control you better than someone who is trying to dominate you (man). It's like a game and women who play it well can actually profit from it. That doesn't make it right. What if you are a sincere, kindhearted woman? You'll just be suppressed.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 6:20pm On May 17, 2006
Ishould treat a man like a baby ?
When i have other children.
I do not need a big Baby but a man to stand beside me and be my back bone .
If that baby becomes too heave what then break your back or drop it??
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by alheri(f): 11:33am On May 18, 2006
Marriage is no game. I am submissive but definately not a manipulator Expert or amatuer, submission can
not be equalled to manipulation. Well, let me as least speak for my self. I cannot even manipulate my husband because he's not weak and he's definately not a fool. I profit from submission, yes, but not for manipulation. But as a sign of love and respect for my husband and in obedience to my God and that is right!.

Only men who misunderstand what it the concept means try to misuse it to maltreat their wives. Sincere, kindhearted women will reap what the sow, by the grace of God find good husbands who wont suppress them.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by ono(m): 11:42am On May 18, 2006
@Alheri,
Madam, long time o! And I hail o. How you dey? It's been a while since I read something from you. I hope say my outbursts on divorce no just make you forget about one of your friends sha?

Take care o.

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