So much energy expended in dodging a question.

plaetton: My fellow Nigerians, it is no wonder that we live today in the equivalent of a failed state. A failed state is characterized by lawlessness, immorality, anarchy and irrationality.
Did i mention corruption at all segments of society, including, unfortunately, the home.?

For some very strange reasons, we seem have an aversion for holding people accountable for their actions.
we always seem to have a get-out-of-jail card for every sin, thanks to our romance with morally ambiguous middle east religions.

Is it not one's moral and religious duty to hold adults accountable for their deliberate misdeeds?

Is marital vow not the most sacred of all vows?

Suppose that this op genuinely decides to forgive her for this very act, and then a few months later he discovers that she had been doing it for years, should he also forgive her?
Again suppose he decides to forgive her and then few months down the road, also discovers that she had been doing it with not just one man but with several men, should he also try to forgive her?

I can bet you anything that if the op digs deeper, what he will discover would completely blow his blind and shatter his spirit.

Op. Get this woman as far away from you as possible as soon as possible. You may then begin to forgive her long after she is gone from your life, not now.
It is the only way can regain and reinvigorate your human spirit, pride and self-esteem.
If you do not, you are defeated and your spirit may never rise to its full potential.

HOGWASH.

jeffizy:
HOGWASH.

In other words, you would forgive, right?
That's all that you need to say.
I have stated my position.
I have not heard many people here boldly say that they would forgive if they caught their wives in bed with another man.
The hypocrisy is glaring.
Do as I say but not as I do?
Moral schizophrenia.

plaetton:

In other words, you would forgive, right?
That's all that you need to say.
I have stated my position.
I have not heard many people here boldly say that they would forgive if they caught their wives in bed with another man.
The hypocrisy is glaring.
Do as I say but not as I do?
Moral schizophrenia.

Should your wife forgive you if she catches you in bed with another woman? Would you expect her to forgive you or kick you straight to the curb?

A married individual is expected to be disciplined and self effaced , if you can't be with one person for LIFE don't dream of marriage Period.

Enough perambulating , a cheating spouse whether caught once or caught twice is a cheat and a disgusting animal.

So to answer your question OP Decidedly NO!

ileobatojo:


Should your wife forgive you if she catches you in bed with another woman? Would you expect her to forgive you or kick you straight to the curb?

With all due respect sir or mam, this silly question goes straight to heart of the problems in our society.

The man has given us facts on a simple matter. You have deliberately chosen to ignore the given facts on the matter to focus and reach a judgement on insinuations and silly conjecture not presented on the matter.
The man's conduct is now the determinant of whether he should kick his adulterous wife to the curb or not.
I shake my head in disgust.

That is why we are in such a mess.
Comprehension problems?.
Deja vu to Waec and Jamb exams.
lol.

That is why I said earlier that we tend to put sentiments where they do not belong. It clouds our reasoning.

Our moral compass is sooooo f@&%$ed up that we even lack the will to call a spade a spade.

It seems that everyone in this country is walking under some perverse, delusional sense of religious correctness.

plaetton:

With all due respect sir or mam, this silly question goes straight to heart of the problems in our society.

The man has given us facts on a simple matter. You have deliberately chosen to ignore the given facts on the matter to focus and reach a judgement on insinuations and silly conjecture not presented on the matter.
The man's conduct is now the determinant of whether he should kick his adulterous wife to the curb or not.
I shake my head in disgust.

That is why we are in such a mess.
Comprehension problems?.
Deja vu to Waec and Jamb exams.
lol.

That is why I said earlier that we tend to put sentiments where they do not belong. It clouds our reasoning.

Our moral compass is sooooo f@&%$ed up that we even lack the will to call a spade a spade.

It seems that everyone in this country is walking under some perverse, delusional sense of religious correctness.

With all due respect, a simple yes or no answer would do.

With all due respect, no comment by me.

ileobatojo:

With all due respect, a simple yes or no answer would do.

And what is the question that I have not answered?

Too much grammar. You guys are talking but not saying much

plaetton:

Biggest f.... bullcrap.
Would give such stupid advise to your own brother?

Jesus said to the Pharisees, let him that has no sin first cast the stone.
And they left one by one.

plaetton:

And what is the question that I have not answered?

Oh, only the one that has been asked multiple times by several different posters which you continuously ignore. But since you insist you don't know the question (despite calling it a silly question in a previous post), here it is again. From multiple sources.

jeffizy: @Plaetton ,
Marriage is not like eating yam where you drop the yam when it's too hot to chew!
Where else will i as a "Nigerian" put sentiments if not in my marriage? If it's about pegs and holes, we will all be "happily" divorced.

When you say divorce is the only option, have you thought about the thread that goes beyond the needle?
I mean kids, documents binding ,ventures you both share, years put into the marriage, etc!

While it's not a worthy act, there are still various options open to be explored. Corrective and punitive measures of course.

May i ask you this question. If you as a man got caught, will you suggest your wife divorce you?

bukatyne:

Do you have an issue with couples (husbands and wives)forgiving one another when they cheat or husbands forgiving wives when they cheat?

ileobatojo:


Should your wife forgive you if she catches you in bed with another woman? Would you expect her to forgive you or kick you straight to the curb?

armyofone:

Jesus said to the Pharisees, let him that has no sin first cast the stone.
And they left one by one.

Pastor Hauwa.....lol.

ileobatojo:


Should your wife forgive you if she catches you in bed with another woman? Would you expect her to forgive you or kick you straight to the curb?

It is a very very silly question.
But I will condenscend to answer it.

Humans, that includes you and I, by simple nature will tend to do things that they feel they can get away with.
If If I get caught stealing, or cheating on my wife, ofcourse I would want the easy pass, the get-out-of-jail card, the religiously inspired forgiveness crap.
And if I happen to get it? yahooooooo! So what?

If I don't get it, it would be no surprise. Asking for something is not the same thing as having a right to it. It is not a right human or even a divine right.
No.
Infact, hell is being kept warm for the sole purpose of accomodating violators of god's laws? not so?
lol.

Now, if by now, you don't get it, then I'm sorry for trying.

Paddy mi, gege bi aiye lo o.

Singing
have you been to Jesus for the cleansing power, are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?

Omoge don see the light, come and see the light o amen amen..

Plaetton, forgiveness bringeth forth healing. Forgive an adulteress wife.
To sin is human, to forgive is divine.

Pataki:
Pastor Hauwa.....lol.

plaetton:

It is a very very silly question.
But I will condenscend to answer it.

Humans, that includes you and I, by simple nature will tend to do things that they feel they can get away with.
If If I get caught stealing, or cheating on my wife, ofcourse I would want the easy pass, the get-out-of-jail card, the religiously inspired forgiveness crap.
And if I happen to get it? yahooooooo! So what?

If I don't get it, it would be no surprise. Asking for something is not the same thing as having a right to it. It is not a right human or even a divine right.
No.
Infact, hell is being kept warm for the sole purpose of accomodating violators of god's laws? not so?
lol.

Now, if by now, you don't get it, then I'm sorry for trying.

Ah, finally, we get an answer.


Behold! Out of the mouth of the same person this came from.....

ofcourse I would want the easy pass,

Came this.

plaetton:

Adultery,the violation of trust in marriage, the most intimate and sacrosanct of personal relationships, is to me , unforgivable.

And this

plaetton: I can't believe these people asking a man to forgive a an adulterous wife he caught red handed.
Forgive for what?
Am I living in an alternate universe?

And this....

plaetton: My fellow Nigerians, it is no wonder that we live today in the equivalent of a failed state. A failed state is characterized by lawlessness, immorality, anarchy and irrationality.
Did i mention corruption at all segments of society, including, unfortunately, the home.?

For some very strange reasons, we seem have an aversion for holding people accountable for their actions.
we always seem to have a get-out-of-jail card for every sin, thanks to our romance with morally ambiguous middle east religions.

Is it not one's moral and religious duty to hold adults accountable for their deliberate misdeeds?

Is marital vow not the most sacred of all vows?

.....Now that's what I call.....

plaetton:

The hypocrisy is glaring.

AND

Moral schizophrenia.

Have a good day.

armyofone: Paddy mi, gege bi aiye lo o.

Singing
have you been to Jesus for the cleansing power, are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?

Omoge don see the light, come and see the light o amen amen..

Plaetton, forgiveness bringeth forth healing. Forgive an adulteress wife.
To sin is human, to forgive is divine.

F..$$##@ng bullcrap.
Reserve that for your brother when it happens to him.

Its ok and encouraging to forgive simple and common misdeeds.

A man catching his wife in the act is not one of those common misdeeds.
It is the very very worst of misdeeds. It is not an accident. It is a deliberate carefully planned and executed misdeed.
that is the point to am trying to get across to you people.
Pls tell in all honesty, if the man through investigations, finds that the wife had been doing this for a very long time, would you still quote bible for him to forgive?
Secondly, if he also discovered that his wife has more than one lover, should he also forgive?
Thirdly, if he discovers that his wife had infected him with HIV/AIDS or herpes, or symphilis, should he also forgive her?
I would appreciate if you can answer these questions.

The sacred is breached. The dam is broken. It can't be repaired.


To forgive is not devine. Don't delude yourself with that crap.
It's either karma or hellfire (lol), depending on your religious beliefs.

ileobatojo:


Ah, finally, we get an answer.


Behold! Out of the mouth of the same person this came from.....




Came this.




And this




And this....




.....Now that's what I call.....





Have a good day.

It's just hilarious how I am on trial here while you have contributed nothing objectively to the topic. You seem to lazy to repudiate any points that I have made.

It's really dumb to ignore an issue and attack the person advocating a particular view.
The irony is that you are more intelligent that you are pretending to be.
Typical ostrich syndrome.

And in all this while, I still haven't seen any of you hypocrites saying in bold and simple language, whether you would forgive such or not.
If you come out and say you would, I would simply respect you for that.

But coming here to offer the op your janus-faced religious nonsense to deal with a very critical real life issue is extremely insincere.

plaetton:

It's just hilarious how I am on trial here while you have contributed nothing objectively to the topic. You seem to lazy to repudiate any points that I have made.

It's really dumb to ignore an issue and attack the person advocating a particular view.
The irony is that you are more intelligent that you are pretending to be.
Typical ostrich syndrome.

And in all this while, I still haven't seen any of you hypocrites saying in bold and simple language, whether you would forgive such or not.
If you come out and say you would, I would simply respect you for that.

Please dude, quit trying to bury your hypocrisy in a sea of big words.

I would have had nothing but respect for your position on this issue (with minor tweaks) if it were consistent and fairly applied across the board, including to yourself. However, this is not the case and your stance is unfortunately quite hypocritical.

You went on insult laden rants at even the thought of possibly forgiving a cheating woman, expressed disgust at not holding people accountable for their actions, even to the point of using the opposing views as an indictment of the Nigerian society. You used the strongest terms to condemn the act of infidelity by this person, and basically called everyone that would consider forgiveness sheeple.


You can therefore imagine my surprise to see you waffling and sputtering when you were asked what you would do if the genders are reversed or if it were you caught cheating on your wife. Here I was expecting immediate condemnation for the idea of forgiveness in this case as well. Surely accountability and upholding the morality of our nation must apply in this case too, right? After multiple attempts to dodge the question, you eventually came out with an answer which unfortunately has ridiculed your position on this thread so far and shown your position to be biased and irrational.


It's one thing to say you can never personally forgive a woman if she cheats on you and leave it at that. It's another thing to insult everyone who said they could, blame them for the failures of the country and then, in the next breath, go on to say that if you were the one who erred, you would like to be forgiven and what does it matter if you are. In your own words, "And if I happen to get it? yahooooooo! So what?".

The woman must be held accountable for her adult actions but what does it matter if you aren't?

Seriously?

But coming here to offer the op your janus-faced religious nonsense to deal with a very critical real life issue is extremely insincere.

First of all, I have done no such thing.

Second, perhaps you should read the OP again. He's the one that asked his question with the religious slant to it.

It's really dumb to ignore an issue and attack the person advocating a particular view.

But it's really smart to contribute to an issue and attack multiple people advocating a particular view?

*By the way, I did not attack you, I only sought to be clear on your views and then I disagreed with them once they became apparent.*

plaetton:
If If I get caught stealing, or cheating on my wife, ofcourse I would want the easy pass

That's how the cookies crumble prof.

@ OP, forgive and divorce!

ileobatojo:

Please dude, quit trying to bury your hypocrisy in a sea of big words.

I would have had nothing but respect for your position on this issue (with minor tweaks) if it were consistent and fairly applied across the board, including to yourself. However, this is not the case and your stance is unfortunately quite hypocritical.

You went on insult laden rants at even the thought of possibly forgiving a cheating woman, expressed disgust at not holding people accountable for their actions, even to the point of using the opposing views as an indictment of the Nigerian society. You used the strongest terms to condemn the act of infidelity by this person, and basically called everyone that would consider forgiveness sheeple.


You can therefore imagine my surprise to see you waffling and sputtering when you were asked what you would do if the genders are reversed or if it were you caught cheating on your wife. Here I was expecting immediate condemnation for the idea of forgiveness in this case as well. Surely accountability and upholding the morality of our nation must apply in this case too, right? After multiple attempts to dodge the question, you eventually came out with an answer which unfortunately has ridiculed your position on this thread so far and shown your position to be biased and irrational.


It's one thing to say you can never personally forgive a woman if she cheats on you and leave it at that. It's another thing to insult everyone who said they could, blame them for the failures of the country and then, in the next breath, go on to say that if you were the one who erred, you would like to be forgiven and what does it matter if you are. In your own words, "And if I happen to get it? yahooooooo! So what?".

The woman must be held accountable for her adult actions but what does it matter if you aren't?

Seriously?




First of all, I have done no such thing.

Second, perhaps you should read the OP again. He's the one that asked his question with the religious slant to it.





But it's really smart to contribute to an issue and attack multiple people advocating a particular view?

*By the way, I did not attack you, I only sought to be clear on your views and then I disagreed with them once they became apparent.*

Let me say it again, I think you are a smart person who is just pretending to be dumb or it's just plain hypocrisy.
First the op made his situation quite clear. There were no ambiguities. You and other took a position which I attacked.
But rather than advance any sincere arguments to buttress your views, you introduced a hypothetical situation that was not part of the op case.
In your perverse way of thinking, whether I would ask for forgiveness in a hypothetical scenario becomes, for you, your strongest argument and your trump card.

There are no systems of morality or measured justice that are predicated on hypothetical situations.

Ignoring the real life situation to thump your chest on a hypothetical situation is very very dumb.
Sooo silly. Sooooo cowardly. Soooo Uniquely Nigerian.

And that's our national Cancer-...this tendency to run and avoid dealing with real situations. Our inability to cultivate and hold steady a consistent system of reward and punishment.
Our inability to face issues squarely and deal with them without using useless religious or other sentiments as escape hatchets.

I shake my head in disgust.

Anyway, at this point, only the op knows what he is going through.
And I can tell you, no bible abracadabra is going to heal him until he deals with the matter as he rightly should.

@Op.
A stitch in time saves nine.

^ ^ ^ ^ just one question from me and please, i just need a yes or no answer. I don't av energy to read epistles.

Should a woman forgive an adulterous husband?

Mynd_44: I believe that the same reason why a woman forgives her husband is the reason why the husband should forgive his wife. Now that is just a belief.

Now in practical terms, I will forgive her and still get a divorce and forget by not remembering I was ever married to her. I expect her to do the same thing if I cheat.

I AGREE WITH THE FIRST PART

11th Commandment:

Never make a who.re a house wife; a who.re will always be a who.re!!! - Ask Daz and Kurupt.

12th commandment:

Forgiveness is a sin. God forgives, I don't! - Ask Rick Ross.

FORGIVE ? FOR WHERE ? NO SUCH THING AS FORGIVE FOR THIS ONE OOO. IN FACT YOU HAVE TO PUT BOTH OF THEM TO DEATH SEF

DEUTERONOMY 22 VS 22 If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. <<< THEY BOTH SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH SO SAYS THE GOOD BOOK

Yes, but ko easy mehnnnn...

If God can forgive us our sins,then she needs to be forgiven.

Some crazy people will say forgive...let wait and see

forgiving is not the problem. The problem is forgetting. Even if he forgive long life may not be your portion again because it will take a small offence on your part for him to be provoked to cut off your head completely. A wise woman caught red handed will relocate to another country.im being honest.

It takes a lot for a married woman to have sex with other men. Except she never loved the man anyway. Fear of shame if caught etc. Women have more emotional attachment to sex. A man can get hard on for nothing.

A woman who cheats can easily connive with her lover to kill her husband, especially if the man is rich.

One major ground for divorce in the bible is adultery.

I cannot forgive adultery. At least not to forgive and continue together.

Maybe years later when we have long gone our seperate ways, I can forgive.

forgiving is not the problem. The problem is forgetting. Even if he forgives long life may not be your portion again because it will take a small offence on your part for him to be provoked to cut off your head completely. A wise woman caught red handed will relocate to another country.im being honest.