I am not very good with the use of English, so pls I need your correctative comments a lot. Thanks.

*****INTRODUCTION*****
Sandra stared at him with tears filled eyes, her efforts to control the tears were to no avail, she knew she was doomed, she was in hell even though there was no fire around, she knew at that moment that her life was ruined and even though she had tried to ignore that fact for a while now, nothing can change the fact that she had known all along, when he agreed to a platonic relationship, when he told her a kiss meant nothing, when he asked to see her unclothedness with no strings attached, untill he tricked her into making love without protection, maybe it isn't entirely his fault afterall she thought, what would she do with the pregnancy, his parents are the exact definition of poor, her father and mother have to do minor works, and other works they were not proud of, to send her and her five other siblings to school, apart from the fact that they are religious, her father would not hesitate to disown her, after everything they had done for her, the only way she could repay them is to have a fatherless child! No way, she had to do something, but the only thing she could think of was sucide.

"If I find out u are spreading this around or even if u mention to anybody that I got you pregnant, I ll come looking for you and your family and I ll kill everyone u love and you as well" he said angrilly "I didn't get you pregnant, look for the father of your bastard child elsewhere" he added as Frank stumbled out of the uncompleted building.

As frank walked out of the same building he had slept with sandra, he frownd even more, he hadn't hope to get her pregnant, he had asked her and was sure her period ended three days before and even though he was not a doctor he knew wella about safe periods or whatever it was called, how then could she have gotten pregnant, hour had slept with gals and not gotten any pregnant as far as he knew, he had even started to think he was infertile or something. As he continued to walk down the path that led to his house, he knew he had scared sandra enough to leave him out of the pregnancy issue but deep down in his heart he could feel a bulge, something deep, and then even though his mind said otherwise but his conscience and the bulge are saying nothing else than 'his troubles are just begining. ***to be continued***

Keep it coming! Kudos!

Kemi flipped through the the notebook the tenth time, oh how she hated maths, she so wished it was an optional subject, so she ll have to drop it for something like writing or literature, her waec is so close back and she can't vouch for a C in mathematics, as she sadly stared at the notebook, she had a knock at the door, it was a saturday and her mom, dad and siblings were out to a wedding they refused to let her go, "your ssce is starting in the next two weeks, sit at home and read" her father had said, just as if he doesn't know that all work and no play makes everyone dull.

"Who is there" she said as she moved to open the door
"Sandra" her bestfriend answered from behind.
"Sandra!" Kemi answered suprisinly as she opened the door, sandra was the last person she expected to see, even though they were best friends,they have been acting like enemies ever since the argument they had about that tout called Frank
"You shouldn't be moving around with people like Frank, not to talk of dating him, he smokes,drinks and God knows what other bad things he does" she had told sandra who had stared at her as if she had spoken in spanish.
"I can change him, he loves me and I love him too" sandra had replied after what seemed like forever
"Love! U call that love, u know nothing about love, he had done nothing than stare at your boobs since u met a week agao" kemi had said making sure she understood the word 'week'
"He had agreed to a platonic relationship and besides he makes me happy and I don't want us to talk about this again.
"I won't stop talking about it because I won't watch you ruin your life"
"Then we can't be friends anymore" sandra had replied and walked out on her
And that was the temporary end of their friendship and now sandra is at her door, for what? Kemi wondered as she opened the door to see sandra in tears
"Kemi, it has happened" sandra managed to say between sobs "I'm so dead"

I notice somes mistakes like "back"
instead of "by", "had" in the place of "heard". I tried modifyin to no avail, so please bear with me.

Becalina: I notice somes mistakes like "back"
instead of "by", "had" in the place of "heard". I tried modifyin to no avail, so please bear with me.

Everyone makes mistakes ma'am it is okay just try to be better

You killed me wiv this line..........she knew she was in hell even though there was no fire around her..... Word gurl

Mynd_44:
Everyone makes mistakes ma'am it is okay just try to be better

myndd...abeg use ur oga @ de top powers allow her modify her work there are few places that needs will work....merci..

First i love ur name Beclina.....now on to the matter @hand, some issues punctured my reading flow...here there are, i noticed the struggle for supremacy between ur tenses..
My observations....

Even though nothing can 'could' change the fact...

Maybe it 'wasnt' for maybe it isnt..

His parents 'were' the exact definition of 'poverty'....for his parent are the exact definition of poor

she could repay them 'was' for is....

His toubles were just beginning

she 'would' have to drop

she 'heard' for had a knock at the door.....

I think u meant 'a week ago'


My humble observations......

******chapter one******

Samuel woke up panting, he needed nobody to tell him it was still early midnight, he took a glance at the wall clock which rested on the wall directly in front of him, just few minutes past two in the midnight, he hadn't slept long, as samuel adjusted his sitting position on the bed, his mind went back to the dream, he was awoken by the dream, the same dream he had been having for months now, sometimes he sits and wonders, he had heard people having dreams that looks alike but he hasn't seen anyone having the same dream over and over again like him, same dream on different nights, it started the same way, same way it has always started.
It was dark and he was running, someone was calling out to him from the darkness and he kept running to the voice, he got to a T junction and was confused, the voice was calling to him in his head and yet somewhere far ahead, he turned left and kept running until he saw the masquerade, it was a red masquerade with no head and it kept beating the man who was calling to him but when he moved closer, the masquerade saw him and took to its heels, he stared at the man, he was nobody he had seen before, "what is your name, sir and what have you done to the masquerade" he asked but as the man opened his mouth to answer him, he woke up.
Samuel wondered and wondered and wondered, he thought and thought and thought, who was that man, what has he done to that masquerade, why did he have to call to him, what connection do they have, but what got samuel more confused was why the masquerade ran at the sight of him.
Samuel knelt down and prayed, he prayed for himself, for the strange man of his dream, whoever he is, wherever he was and for whatever he had done.

******* ******** *********.
Mr Raymond stared at the doctor in disbelief, or is he mad! He wondered, but even if the doctor is mad, the test results in his hands can't be mad too. "There was surely a mix-up doctor" he said to the doctor
"There is none, mr Raymond, I ve been your doctor for a while now, I was as surprised as you are right now when the results came out, so I took another sample and sent them to the lab and we got the same results" the doctor answered confidently.
"Ah! How is this possible, the three kids, not even one has my blood group" he asked rethorically. "Doctor I have just three children and now you are telling me, that none has my blood?" He asked again.
"None medically"
Mr Raymond stood up and thanked the doctor, he left the office and went to the private ward his so called daughter lay dieing, he sat on a chair and stared at the sleeping child, his wife had travelled down to her hometown for a family meeting two days ago, his so called last child had been involved in an accident, he was told she needed blood transfusion and he had wanted to donate his blood just to be informed that, she wasn't having his blood in her veins, as shocked as he was, he had invited his two other sons over for blood tests, just to discover now that they don't have his blood in their systems, how could it be true, he has been married to his wife for 15 years now, and has been taking care of her and the kids, provides them with luxuries. What has that woman wanted that he hadn't given to her, Nothing! He had even been faithfull to her irrespective of temptations, but the only way she could repay him is to give him 3 bastard children.
Mr Raymond's blood began to boil with anger, not even one! He thought, it was plain wickedeness. He stood up and went to the door, he had to go somewhere to think, he needed to talk to someone before he would go crazy, he had been loving and caring for another man's children, the anger was eating him up, he took one last glance at the sleeping child before he turned down the way to the exit, this is disaster, he thought.

ortopazz: First i love ur name Beclina.....now on to the matter @hand, some issues punctured my reading flow...here there are, i noticed the struggle for supremacy between ur tenses..
My observations....

Even though nothing can 'could' change the fact...

Maybe it 'wasnt' for maybe it isnt..

His parents 'were' the exact definition of 'poverty'....for his parent are the exact definition of poor

she could repay them 'was' for is....

His toubles were just beginning

she 'would' have to drop

she 'heard' for had a knock at the door.....

I think u meant 'a week ago'


My humble observations......

thanx a lot, I ll look into all of that

Nice story. Becalina I see you. good morning

Please I am hungry. hope you have prepared our breakfast [update] for this morning?

Sandra closed one eye and opened the other as the pastor prayed, she took a look at her friend whose eyes were closed in prayer, Sandra looked around the white garment church and wondered why everything had to be white, even the pastor himself was turning white, she thought or maybe she was just imagining it. Sandra's thoughts went back to her problem, to what brought her and her friend to the church, she was married for a long time with no child, the first five years of marriage was full with hope and expectations but after seven years of childlessness she began to worry, her husband's family didn't make things easy on her even though her husband pretended like everything was fine, she knew he was more worried than she was but still he stood strongly by her.

She went for medical checkups, tests, scans and everything else, but nothing was found to be wrong with her and her husband, until finally God answered their prayers, she got pregnant and gave birth to Nelson, he was a dream come true, smart,brilliant and handsome boy. Just few days after his 6th birthday, he fell sick, fainted on the playground in school and was rushed to the hospital and that was how another problem started, the doctor found nothing wrong with him, they did tests, called in specialists but still were not able to diagnose anything but miraculously Nelson got well without any specific treatment and they were relieved until it began his culture, three days every month he falls ill and gets well with no specific treatment and every month, the sickness worsens, she was confused and scared for her only child until people started giving her series of advice, "it is a spiritual attack" her friends told her and that was how she found herself in this white garment church.

"Jehovah our lord" the pastor finally ended the prayer
"Amin!" She and her friend replied as the pastor took the seat opposite her
"As I was praying, the lord spoke to me about your son"
Sandra adjusted her sitting position and paid full attention to the pastor
"Thank God you seeked the lord on time because if u didn't come here today Your son will not live to see the next two months" the pastor told her

Sandra's heart leapt, she felt her heartbeat increase, her eyes swollen with tears
"What did I do wrong, pastor. I can't lose this one child I have, talk to God now, tell him to take me instead"
"Calm down" the pastor answered "only you can save your child" he added

Mr Raymond's anger rose the more as he watched his wife plead for his forgiveness with her mother,mama ogidi as she is fondly called, his mother and few other family members sitted. Gosh! She has guts he thought, after fooling him, punishing him, ruining him, shattering him like that, she still has the guts to bring her mother to his house to plead, infact, he thought, what exactly are they begging him for, are they begging him to take his unfaithfull wife back or to keep taking care of another man's children.
"My son-in-law, please forgive her, nobody is above mistake"
"Mistake?" His mother asked rethorically interrupting mama ogidi "you call that a mistake, how come you and your daughter are so shameless, you brought in three bastard children into our family, haba, one is a mistake, two is wickedness, three is devilish"
"My in-law, pls don't talk like that, you are a mother too"
"I didn't give birth to bastards"his mother interrupted again
"My daughter has a reason for what she did" mama ogidi continued, "pls those children are yours, you took care of them from pregnancy, they are yours"she added
"Enough" Mr Raymond finally answered "enough is enough mama ogidi, right now, I want you to take your bastard children out of my house" he added as he stood up, "I am going out and when I get back, I don't want to meet any of you here" he added as he stumbled out of the house

As Regina watch her husband walk out angrily out of the house, she knew she was done "mama I am finished o" she cried out as she bursts into tears, and as the tears rolled down her eyes, she remembered exactly how she
started, she had met him at the NYSC camp, became friends, they went on a few dates after, feelings appeared, he proposed and they got married, he was loving, caring and the kind of husband anybody will pray for, he provided her with everything she wanted, all she needed to do was ask but as wonderful as their life was, there was no child, his mother made life hard on her.

After few years of marriage, she brought in series of ladies for Raymond to marry but he was faithful to her, she knew he had hope but she didn't, she wanted to have a child before her husband would look out and heed his mother's advice to marry another wife, she was convinced nothing was wrong with her and her husband but maybe God doesn't just want to give them a child yet, still she was determined to try other means.

Few days after her mother-in-law brought in another gal from the village, though her husband rejected her, she met a secondary school lover, Kenny. at the bank and the old flames rekindled, he was married too and he was well aware that she is too, they decided to keep having secret affairs and miraculously after two afternoons together, she got pregnant. She was determined to stop the extra marital affairs but after four years, the twins were old enough to have a sibling and her husband families started disturbing her peace, "you've given us boys, at least add a girl" her mother-in-law kept saying, so she went back to her lover and then she got pregnant again.

Regina wished she could turn back the hands of time to correct her mistakes, what is she going to do with the kids, how can he take care of three kids on her own, kenny is married and will never take her kids, as Regina watch her mother stand up to leave, "ah mama" she cried out loudly as she bursts into another round of tears.

Samuel woke up from the same dream again, it was afternoon, he just got back from the church and decided to take a nap, he checked his wrist watch and it realised he hasn't even slept for five minutes and from what he learnt at the theological school, that was a vision not a dream, he had been running again, a voice was calling to him, it was faint and he kept running to the voice, he was sweating and breathing hard but he just kept running to it, he got to the same T junction, stopped, he looked left and right then he turned left and kept running until he got to where the voice is, he saw the same masquerade again but this time it wasn't flogging the man but a boy, a little boy and he was crying bitterly, the masquerade saw him and stopped flogging,
"What are you" he asked the masquerade
"BOOMERANG" the masquerade replied in a thick tone
"What has this boy done wrong to you"
"Ask her " the masquerade replied in a thicker tone pointing at Samuel's behind, samuel turned back to look at the person the masquerade was pointing to, he saw no one, he turned to face the masquerade but it was no where to be found, then samuel turned back again and this time he saw two women and suprisinly he recognised one of them.
"Mrs kemi Adeoye" he called to her, and Gbam! He woke up

Pastor samuel watched Mr Raymond sit directly opposite him, but his mind was calculating, he had seen Mr Raymond before somewhere, but he couldn't recall, he was not a member of his church, he knew that for sure.
"Good afternoon, pastor" Raymond said
"Good afternoon, mister..."
"Raymond" he added for the pastor
"Ok, mr Raymond can I help you" the pastor asked
"Yes sir, I was directed here by a friend who is a member of your church, I have problems, pastor and right now I feel like dieing" he answered
"Don't say that, Mr Raymond, let's pray" the pastor replied

As they closed their eyes to pray, it came again to Samuel, he was running, a voice was calling to him, the voice was loud and in his head, he kept running to the direction of the voice, he got to the T junction but didn't stop this time, he just turned right and kept running until he got to the masquerade again, it was flogging a man, but it stopped flogging when he saw Samuel
"Why are you punishing this man" samuel asked the masquerade
"Ask him!!!" The masquerade answered with a very harsh tone
"Who are you" samuel asked again
"I SAID I'M BOOMERANG, I'M BOOMERANG, BOOMERANG" it answered with a loud voice and disappeared,
Samuel looked down at the man the masquerade was flogging and lo and behold it is the same Mr Raymond

"Jesus christ our lord" samuel said to end the prayer
"Amen" mr Raymond answered as he opened his closed eyes
"Mr Raymond" samuel called trying to get the sad man's full attention
"Yes, pastor"
"You are being punished for something you have done far back in the past, think about it and confess your sins, that's the only way you will be free, or else your problems are just beginning"

Wonderful story... Please keep it up

Neduzze5: Wonderful story... Please keep it up

. Thanx

Raymond thought and thought and thought, since he left that pastor, he has been thinking, his mind went back to his youthful days and the bad things he had done that he could be paying for at this stage in his life, but thinking about it now, he realised he had done too many bad things, maybe it was the gals he raped, the ones he promised and failed, the people he doped, the things he stole, he was a tout and a terror throughout his youth and it was until he spent few years in prison for stealing that he realised that wasn't the best way to live life and then he had determined to changed and had worked towards it.
Raymond knew he was confused, maybe he wasn't paying for a particular sin, maybe he was just paying for all the wrong deeds he had done, he thought as he picked up his car keys, he was going back to that pastor, and whether he was paying for a particular sin or all, he dosent care because as far as he was concerned, he is sorry for all and if that pastor likes it or not, he would talk to God on his behalf to forgive him and save him from this pot hole he is in.

Kemi sat down and waited nervously with Sandra as Pastor Samuel sat down with them
"This is the friend I saw with you in the vision I had, the one I told you about" he told kemi
"Yes pastor"
"What have you done in the past that you are now paying for?" He asked Sandra directly
Sandra wasn't surprised at the question, when she had left the hospital and gone to Kemi's house, she had told her about the dream the pastor had, she had then asked both of them to come over to see the young pastor, even though she hadn't told Kemi her reason for coming to see her, she had hoped that the pastor would have a better solution to her problem, perhaps another way to save her son but now that he wants to know what she had done, she is ready to open up to him, seriously hoping it would help save her son
"Pastor" she said "I made a mistake and I was and still sorry for it"
"What happened madam" the pastor wanted to know but as Sandra opened her mouth to talk, a voice interrupted her

Mr Raymond was so eager, as he got into the church, he saw the pastor talking to the women, he could have just waited for him to be through but he wanted the pastor to know he is around
"Good day pastor" he said as the women turned to look at him but suprisinly...
"Frank!" Sandra called out suprisinly at Mr Raymond who was as shocked to see her as she was
"Frank Raymond!" She called out again as she stood up from her seat to recognise the man
"Sandra!" Mr Raymond called back
"Glory be to God" the pastor answered
"Amen" replied Kemi

Raymond thought and thought and thought, since he left that pastor, he has been thinking, his mind went back to his youthful days and the bad things he had done that he could be paying for at this stage in his life, but thinking about it now, he realised he had done too many bad things, maybe it was the gals he raped, the ones he promised and failed, the people he doped, the things he stole, he was a tout and a terror throughout his youth and it was until he spent few years in prison for stealing that he realised that wasn't the best way to live life and then he had determined to changed and had worked towards it.
Raymond knew he was confused, maybe he wasn't paying for a particular sin, maybe he was just paying for all the wrong deeds he had done, he thought as he picked up his car keys, he was going back to that pastor, and whether he was paying for a particular sin or all, he dosent care because as far as he was concerned, he is sorry for all and if that pastor likes it or not, he would talk to God on his behalf to forgive him and save him from this pot hole he is in.

Kemi sat down and waited nervously with Sandra as Pastor Samuel sat down with them
"This is the friend I saw with you in the vision I had, the one I told you about" he told kemi
"Yes pastor"
"What have you done in the past that you are now paying for?" He asked Sandra directly
Sandra wasn't surprised at the question, when she had left the hospital and gone to Kemi's house, she had told her about the dream the pastor had, she had then asked both of them to come over to see the young pastor, even though she hadn't told Kemi her reason for coming to see her, she had hoped that the pastor would have a better solution to her problem, perhaps another way to save her son but now that he wants to know what she had done, she is ready to open up to him, seriously hoping it would help save her son
"Pastor" she said "I made a mistake and I was and still sorry for it"
"What happened madam" the pastor wanted to know but as Sandra opened her mouth to talk, a voice interrupted her

Mr Raymond was so eager, as he got into the church, he saw the pastor talking to the women, he could have just waited for him to be through but he wanted the pastor to know he is around
"Good day pastor" he said as the women turned to look at him but suprisinly...
"Frank!" Sandra called out suprisinly at Mr Raymond who was as shocked to see her as she was
"Frank Raymond!" She called out again as she stood up from her seat to recognise the man
"Sandra!" Mr Raymond called back
"Glory be to God" the pastor answered
"Amen" replied Kemi

Nice work

Pardon me for asking, but who is dreaming? Is it Sandra or Frank? Or the Pastor?

Neduzze5: Pardon me for asking, but who is dreaming? Is it Sandra or Frank? Or the Pastor?

Samuel, the pastor.