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Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 5:13pm On May 30, 2013
Firstimer: I hop i'l get a solution in dis section.
Got maried as a virgin las mth. Bin tryin sex wit my hubby 2 no avail. Its so painful wen he tries 2 thrust.
I cry evrytym n it makes him stop. I see lil stains if blood hopin dat my hymen is broken (4were?).
My hubby is very patient wit me but i no it frustrates him. He refused dat i see a doc. Dat notin is wrong wit me.
Pls nlanders, does it min my vagina is too small/tight or my hymen is too thick.
Rite now am rlly hungry 4him.
Wat do i do?
Pls ladies share ur exp if u wer once in my shoes n how u dealt wit it
it could be that your husby is well endowed.If that is the case, you have to do do it regularly and with time it will ease up.

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Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by dayokanu(m): 5:25pm On May 30, 2013
Try yourself first, Get lube and use your fingers Pinky at first till you can put your whole fist

Do the fistingg training regularly
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by baby124: 5:35pm On May 30, 2013
dayokanu: Try yourself first, Get lube and use your fingers Pinky at first till you can put your whole fist

Do the fistingg training regularly
shocked shocked shocked shocked

I did not read this. shocked shocked shocked
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Kosigift(f): 5:53pm On May 30, 2013
dayokanu: Try yourself first, Get lube and use your fingers Pinky at first till you can put your whole fist

Do the fistingg training regularly
shocked ewwwwwwwwlk!
Too disgusting 2 imagine!
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 6:13pm On May 30, 2013
Firstimer:
Hmmmm. Makin me more worried. Any natural way?

You really listening to this freak? grin lol

Abeg, don't mind coogar, he's just making fun of you 'cos he doesn't believe in virgins.
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 6:35pm On May 30, 2013
Get tested for Candidiasis, try what the first poster said if you are certified candida free.
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Ferya(f): 6:48pm On May 30, 2013
@ poster
Most ladies experience pain when they are deflowered and female body tends to delay most times for fear of pain so, it is normal. Just as your hubby said, you have no reason visiting the doctor. I will suggest the following:
1. You just have to relax and if possible play cool music like blues it will help you relax in the process. You need to be in a calm state; this will help to relax your muscles so it won't be so painful to penetrate.

2.Your hubby should try to introduce lots of pre-intimacy. You will need to be aroused either by Kissing and caressing it will entice you into the right mood.

3. Plenty of lubrication will be needed since your vagina will be very tight. Keep plenty of lubricating jelly, like Vaseline and so on handy. Direct your husband on were you would love to be touched this helps you too reach organism.
However, ensure you play with your husband more at home. Remember, it takes time but you will soon enjoy love making there is nothing wrong with you.
Finally,relax, relax and tell us when you become Oliver Twist grin
Goodluck!!

4 Likes

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by bank2k4real(m): 7:01pm On May 30, 2013
Firstimer:

Av googled vaginismus. N am nt in any of d categories.
Hubby refuses dat i c a doctor. He says nofin is wrong wit me, dat i gat 2b strong.
Infact, las nite he got angry n shouted at me buh apologised dis mornin.
Am nt finding dis funny at all. I tot sex is supose 2 b a swt tin. I lubricate wel during pre-intimacy.
Dont undstand anymore



I understand your predicament....my little 2 naira is...have u tried using the fingers first ?....maybe from one finger to two...then d main thing ....it might help...
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 7:16pm On May 30, 2013
Ok, @op, I do get you and I'm really sorry you're having this experience. I wonder though, did you, like, chat with your mom, experienced sisters or aunts before coming online? It might have been better to do so unless they were unavailable or unable to help.

Um, I don't think you have any problems. I think what inhibitions you have now are natural to virgins. I don't think you're too afraid to have sexx for the first time, I think that the contraction that makes you too tight is normal to first-timers.

I don't know if you guys have tried this: slow and very gentle penetration. It's actually so slow that it's a while before you realize that he's inside you. It's a very little depth at a time and at each depth he does very slow thrusting motions waiting for your vagginal muscles to relax. As they do, he slowly increases depth of penetration.

Another way is to tease your muscles with a shallow penetration and as soon as they relax, he pushes in completely. But, believe me, that can hurt far more than you expect, and you should probably not try it the first few times you successfully have sexx. However, if and when you do, once he is in, he should pause and wait for your muscles to relax before thrusting slowly. Soon, the pain should turn into a lot more pleasure and a lot more lubrication.

The first way won't hurt as much as the second, it'll hurt a bit and then the pleasure will take over and then hurt a bit again after which the pleasure will take over and so on as he gently increases depth of penetration and continues to thrust slowly at each depth. The key though is that the depth is increased in stages and he must read the contractions and relaxations of your vagginal muscles as well as your facial expressions properly and ask you at all times when it is too painful. Whenever it is, he should pull back a bit and continue making back-and-forth motions at that depth until you're comfortable enough for him to go in deeper.

The second option is actually smarter because the first can bore the both of you. So, there should be a smart combination of the two in such a way that he surprises you when he pushes in fully. That way, the pain will be sharp and short.

Hope I've helped a bit. Let me know if you've already tried this or you want something in the above explained a bit more clearly.

13 Likes

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 8:08pm On May 30, 2013
^^^ Thank you for that elaborate explanation. Should go a long way in helping her and others in same situation.
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 8:18pm On May 30, 2013
Poster,r u really a woman? U don't write like one and d way u answer ur questions r very suspicious. Seems like u wanna hv fun.
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 8:29pm On May 30, 2013
I really hope so too, bettymaffy.

@Firstimer, I forgot to tell you why it happens. You're not yet accustomed to sexx, so you unconsciously tighten up as soon as his organ touches yours. It will probably stay that way for a little longer until you are completely at ease with the idea of having him inside you. His size is not the issue here unless he approaches and exceeds six- or seven-inch thickness. And even in that case, it's not impossible.

It's just virginal reluctance. But you'll get over it, everyone does.

1 Like

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by mideeniafe(f): 9:05pm On May 30, 2013
Ihedinobi: Ok, @op, I do get you and I'm really sorry you're having this experience. I wonder though, did you, like, chat with your mom, experienced sisters or aunts before coming online? It might have been better to do so unless they were unavailable or unable to help.

Um, I don't think you have any problems. I think what inhibitions you have now are natural to virgins. I don't think you're too afraid to have sexx for the first time, I think that the contraction that makes you too tight is normal to first-timers.

I don't know if you guys have tried this: slow and very gentle penetration. It's actually so slow that it's a while before you realize that he's inside you. It's a very little depth at a time and at each depth he does very slow thrusting motions waiting for your vagginal muscles to relax. As they do, he slowly increases depth of penetration.

Another way is to tease your muscles with a shallow penetration and as soon as they relax, he pushes in completely. But, believe me, that can hurt far more than you expect, and you should probably not try it the first few times you successfully have sexx. However, if and when you do, once he is in, he should pause and wait for your muscles to relax before thrusting slowly. Soon, the pain should turn into a lot more pleasure and a lot more lubrication.

The first way won't hurt as much as the second, it'll hurt a bit and then the pleasure will take over and then hurt a bit again after which the pleasure will take over and so on as he gently increases depth of penetration and continues to thrust slowly at each depth. The key though is that the depth is increased in stages and he must read the contractions and relaxations of your vagginal muscles as well as your facial expressions properly and ask you at all times when it is too painful. Whenever it is, he should pull back a bit and continue making back-and-forth motions at that depth until you're comfortable enough for him to go in deeper.

The second option is actually smarter because the first can bore the both of you. So, there should be a smart combination of the two in such a way that he surprises you when he pushes in fully. That way, the pain will be sharp and short.

Hope I've helped a bit. Let me know if you've already tried this or you want something in the above explained a bit more clearly.
Are you a gyneacologist? smiley
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 9:17pm On May 30, 2013
'mide eniafe:
Are you a gyneacologist? smiley

Lol. No, I'm a man. smiley

3 Likes

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by nikkyshyne(f): 10:13pm On May 30, 2013
yellowpawpaw: Poster,r u really a woman? U don't write like one and d way u answer ur questions r very suspicious. Seems like u wanna hv fun.
Even at that, the thread is quite helpful. Although some bad belle dey here.
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by mideeniafe(f): 10:15pm On May 30, 2013
Ihedinobi:

Lol. No, I'm a man. smiley
Lol....I know you're a man. There are male gyneacologists. With the way you explained the whole deflowering process to the OP, I thought you'd be one. grin
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 10:23pm On May 30, 2013
'mide eniafe:
Lol....I know you're a man. There are male gyneacologists. With the way you explained the whole deflowering process to the OP, I thought you'd be one. grin

Sorry smiley I said I'm a man by way of explanation.
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by star4(f): 10:56pm On May 30, 2013
Op I think you should go speak to your doctor, if its a simple explanation then fine but painful sex cannot be taken lightly! There could be a serious problem! And btw you don't need permission from your man to see a doctor angry

1 Like

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 11:19pm On May 30, 2013
A little bit of lube & pre-intimacy should do d trick
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by deybowlah: 11:23pm On May 30, 2013
grin grin grin at coogar: I really tried to pretend this is not funny but couldnt help laughing really hard. aba guy surgery ke
op I think you need to be determined to get it done. its very painful i know but think about what you are putting your husband thru. Buy KY jelly from a drugstore. its a very gud lubricant or your husband may use c*nd*ms.
Its most likely your h*men is broken already as you claimed to see blood but that wont make easy penetration as ur v*gin* is still very tight. Your husband may also use his fingers as this will break the hym*n if it hasnt been broken already and also help penetration
you should also get tested for Candida as one poster suggested.
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by omonikiba(f): 11:28pm On May 30, 2013
@cooger, pls stay clear if u don't have answr jor, must u comment?

@poster, pele, i did mine at that you age too, it wasn't funny. I had to be lectured by him. This is how it went:

First:, relax your mind, the memtality that it pains is what usually kill firstimers, relax, relax, relax your mind, don't stiffen up.

2) Use a lubricant like preseed, this is more sper.m friendly, don't use saliva cos you might get infected as a firstimer.

3) Make sure he caress you well to the point that you are carried away.

4) This one really worked, don't allow him to continue doing pity party, once the place is wet, let him harden up and thrust it, then bang well until he release, once he release I tell ya, you won't feel it again.

5), Relax again, then do it maybe another day or after some hours with the same lubricant. You will enjoy it.

6) U might be tempted to push him away when he is trying ro enter u, pls n pls, at this point, don't push him, cos dat was wat I was doing, pushing him when trying to enter, don't push him, he can be kis.sing you while trying to enter, keep the mouth contact until he did it, highest you can close your eyes. But that place must be wet.

Tell your hubby to stop petting you and do the action, its not painful, its just your mind. Soften up and enjoy pls, since last month? Your hubby self is so soft. Oya, go buy preseed, u might not get it in any how pharmacy oo, go to big pharmacies.

It is well with you, you are not too old to be disvirgined, I know of a church sister who did it @ age 32.

7 Likes

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by honeychild(f): 11:47pm On May 30, 2013
Firstimer:
Dnt wan2 b raw here. But hubby always fondles my clitt til i cum b4 he starts d thrusting. We wer hopin dat wud mak it expand a lil but 4wrr?

some women get quite dry immediately after an orgasm. do not wait until you have climaxed. He should start thrusting once u are wet but before u climax

2 Likes

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by miccheck58: 4:48am On May 31, 2013
Kosigift:
Don't be too worried jare...
Just do a lot of pre-intimacy: kissing, smooching, caressing and all dat b4 doing d main thing.

As for d pains, its kinda normal so u've got to brace up and pls lead ur hubby in as soon as possible... D guy don try na...

Dis story reminds me of my aunt who cudn't show up for their thanksgiving service cos she cudn't walk after d deed was done grin

Op ur own no go be like dat u hear... Just go wit d flow.


I love ur profile pic

1 Like

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by miccheck58: 4:53am On May 31, 2013
dayokanu: Try yourself first, Get lube and use your fingers Pinky at first till you can put your whole fist

Do the fistingg training regularly

Best comment so far since the grease (lubricant) didn't work d wonders
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by feminineA: 6:56am On May 31, 2013
Its normal so fear not. Get to a pharmacy and ask for ky gel or any other lubricant. Hubby needs to be patient when thrusting. He shouldn't be in a hurry to put everything in. In, out little by little till you accept it all. The lubricant works like magic. You could also ise vaseline or olive oil. It makes entrance easieR and always relax during sex
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by ChukwuVC: 10:46am On May 31, 2013
Firstimer: I hop i'l get a solution in dis section.
Got maried as a virgin las mth. Bin tryin sex wit my hubby 2 no avail. Its so painful wen he tries 2 thrust.
I cry evrytym n it makes him stop. I see lil stains if blood hopin dat my hymen is broken (4were?).
My hubby is very patient wit me but i no it frustrates him. He refused dat i see a doc. Dat notin is wrong wit me.
Pls nlanders, does it min my vagina is too small/tight or my hymen is too thick.
Rite now am rlly hungry 4him.
Wat do i do?
Pls ladies share ur exp if u wer once in my shoes n how u dealt wit it
. cheesy nothin wey person no go hear 4 here.
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Alwaystrue(f): 12:13pm On May 31, 2013
@Firstimer,
Congrats jare for allowing your husband be the first to make love to you. Please do not mind all those who tell you that virginity should be terminated at a certain age. Morally, that should be done on the marital bed.

I think you have received good answers from those especially who were not giving mocking answers. To add, please ensure there is no fan or AC on around....the deed will quickly and be better completed in the heat between the two of you. Sometimes the coldness or breeze may dry up the wetness faster. Pre-seed or KY jelly can be used too but do not get used to it if you can. I know telling you to relax will be hard but just keep at it and you will be surprised in a few days, your husband will be able to penetrate fully and you will start enjoying it. Sex is very sweet, please know that.

And another thing to note is to check the position or the angle of initial entry as this could be the reason why your husband may not be hitting the mark. If you get the entry angle right from the start, the rest will be very easy. But if not, its possible he will be hitting the side of the v.ag.inal instead (i.e v.agin.al wall) and causing you pain.

cheesy @ Ihedinobi, RESPECT! shocked
I hope that is how you did it with your wife for the first time sha wink

1 Like

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by ITbomb(m): 12:19pm On May 31, 2013
alutacontinua:
Can't imagine what ur hubby is going through now, after how many months of waiting. lipsrsealed undecided
coogar:

in the current climate, 24 is too late. the growth has stopped, the skin/tissue has toughened up. you might need a surgery to get it done.
Now virginity is no longer a virtue.
We need experienced hands

1 Like

Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 4:05pm On May 31, 2013
USE OKRO, MAKE SURE ITS NOT THE DRIED ONE, SMEAR IT ON YOUR HUSBANDS KNACKER AND LET HIM SLIDE IN
P.S I DO THIS ALL THE TIME
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 4:12pm On May 31, 2013
Alwaystrue: @Firstimer,
Congrats jare for allowing your husband be the first to make love to you. Please do not mind all those who tell you that virginity should be terminated at a certain age. Morally, that should be done on the marital bed.

I think you have received good answers from those especially who were not giving mocking answers. To add, please ensure there is no fan or AC on around....the deed will quickly and better completed in the heat between the two of you. Sometimes teh coldness or breeze may dry up the wetness faster. Pre-seed or KY jelly can be used too but do not get used to it if you can. I know telling you to relax will be hard but just keep at it and you will be surprised in a few days, your husband will be able to penetrate fully and you will start enjoying it. Sex is very sweet, please know that.

And another thing to note is to check the position or the angle of initial entry as this could be the reason why your husband may not be hitting the mark. If you get the entry angle right from the start, the rest will be very easy. But if not, its possible he will be hitting the side of the v.ag.inal instead (i.e v.agin.al wall) and causing you pain.

Very good advice. Thanks for mentioning this part.


cheesy @ Ihedinobi, RESPECT! shocked
I hope that is how you did it with your wife for the first time sha wink

I truly wish it had happened like that for me. It was my goal but I fell short. sad
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by molli(f): 7:26pm On May 31, 2013
rigormortis: USE OKRO, MAKE SURE ITS NOT THE DRIED ONE, SMEAR IT ON YOUR HUSBANDS KNACKER AND LET HIM SLIDE IN
P.S I DO THIS ALL THE TIME
okro lipsrsealed
Re: Can First Time Sex Be Dis Painful? Or Too Tight Vagina by Nobody: 8:03pm On May 31, 2013
Woodpecker:
I wouldn't give that opinion if I wasn't certain abt it, I've heard and read about several cases like this. Its a fairly common condition and pls note that its nt a disease so its nt like there are drugs she can use. Its jst an involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles pre-intimacy. i'm sure she has tried prolonged fore-play and lubricant before she came here (if she hasn't i'd advice her to do that first) that's why it came to mind so quickly.

U really can't say for certain that she has vaginismus (not vagismus). All you can say from what she has written is that she has dyspareunia (in lay man term, pain during sex). This can be caused by a number of things, including vaginismus, gynetresia etc. I'ld advise to try out some of the earlier suggested and if they don't help, you might need to see a gynaecologist.

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