1st of all, we live apart. I visited three weeks ago. We have a 14month old son who is not walking yet and still suckling. Though i have begged her to wean him but she refused on the grounds that he's not walking yet.

We agreed to use only natural family planning till we have at least 2 children. We broke the 'rules of natural family planning' thrice during my previous visit. By our calculations she was ovulating during this visit. She took postinor 2 twice in two months during my previous visits. This time around, i told her using too much of it is bad, so she didnt take any.

Her period got delayed so she got a PT strip and tested today which came in +ve.

She is so so depressed from the shame and guilt of conceiving while our 1st son is not walking yet (he's just too scared i believe). Her friends had been warning her not to get pregant again so early. In fact, she asked me to allow our son to be 3 before we conceive again. She has boasted to her friends that she is not giving birth till our son is 4. Our neighbour her friend boasted like that while pregant unknowingly. She didnt want it to happen the same way her friend did.

I am comfortable and welcome the development. In fact, i pray for twins which her immediate younger sis just discovered she is pregnant with. After all, our son will be almost 2 when she gives birth. It is just a month shy of the ideal child spacing of 2. Nothing i said has lifted her spirits. We are both not getting any younger at 32.

What more can i say than 'THANK YOU LORD FOR ANOTHER BLESSING'. I would be even happier if its a girl or in d case of twins or BG.

Though it has happened, friends and family talking behind you is embarassing. Any words of encouragement from NL?

LOL, dont mind her. It is probably the hormones. I wonder why a woman who is married will be concerned about what her friends think about her getting pregnant. And why their opinion on the spacing of her kids matter so much. Why will she cry and feel embarrassed because of what outsiders will say Anyway goodluck and congrats OP. 14months and not walking...

Tell her that there is nothing to be ashamed of because the child could turn to be the president of his/her generation.

There is nothing wrong since the child is over a year. I know of a couple that took in after 3 months.
Tell her not to try any funny thing, but rather offer prayer of thanksgiving t God Almighty because ever before the child was formed, the creator knows him/her.

Encourage her not to look back but forward to a better tomorrow.

Nairaland was there when you got married or when your spermatozoa was swimming up the canal or something?

What "encouragement" are you looking for, or you just want to find mugus who will post.

Congrats op; don't mind wifey she will come around.

I boasted after my twinies that i won't have more kids.I had 3 kids,2 girls and a boy.Fortunately,i took in unexpectedly,i was devastated.Hubby wasnt happy about it unlike you.I had my baby boy 3 months ago and hubby was so excited.Don't worry,keep encouraging her.If you are not against it,nobody's opinion should matter.I pray you dreams come true.

@op, congratulations in advance. Dont mind wiffy, thats how most women are.........always fearing what friends will say or think. To hell with anyone can be saying or thinking, afterall shes legally married. An adage in my tribe says....."won o kinbere lowo iyawo ile pe ibo lo ti royun"(nobdy asks a wife where she got her pregnancy from). In asmuch as shes not relying or expecting anyone apart from you the hubby for antenatal or delivery charges, inasmuch as shes not asking for formular feeds money from anyone, i think, "abuse ti buse"(there is no cause for alarm.
Tell your wife to beg for forgiveness from God, because what some other people are spending lots of money to get is what God gave her on a platter of gold and shes complaining. I wonder why some of us are not grateful to God for his blessings. Dont worry, she will come around and see reasons for thanking God when she sees the wonderful thing that God has in package for her.

Meanwhile, as for your 14months old child of yours who is yet to walk, have you seen a peadriatic doctor about it for proper evaluation of the bones and joints, if you've done that and its confirmed that its all well, then it means, he/shes a lazy type and you people will have a way to encourage him/her to take the bold step.
I wish you well and your wiffy safe and joyful delivery in advance.

Your wife needs deliverance from minding "noise in the market". She is not living her life to please people but to do what will make her happy.

You need to work on her about taking gossip/other opinions as important.
Congrats on the new life to be added to you.

Much ado about nothing.

Na wa o, when I read d topic, I thot she called crying that she's pregnant with another man's child. There's nothing wrong with having her kids all on d same period. Abi she wants to be changing diapers in her 40s? E gba mi o.

I kinda identify with her sha, I also maintained I wasn't going to have another baby till my boy was at least 2 and a half yrs. Lo and behold, I took in just a few weeks short of his first birthday. I was really embarrassed cos I wasn't working at the time and I was ready to go out and do something wen dis happened. I felt everyone around me was judging me as the lazy woman who couldn't go out and mk money, all she knows is to drop babies every year. Hubby didn't mind, he saw it as a blessing.

Well the baby is 4 months old and indeed a source of blessing to us as I started work 2 wks ago. Could have asked for a better timing for these to happen.
We make plans for the way we want our lives to be, but God knows us better than we know ourselves and rather know how our lives need to be.
Opps didn't mean for d post to be this long

My mum tried to abort to abort my younger brother on this same issue,buh i can tell you the boy is doing exteremly very well.out of 7seven children,he's the only one that has his first degree in Uk,a Uk passport holder and works in the Uk.not that the reaming ones re noh doing well,buh the guys isdoing far better.and ur wyf complaining of what her friends would sayBleep her friends abeg...pls say no to Abortion

Reading all ur post (except 1) gave me big smiles and a feeling that all will be well.

On my son, i believe all will be well. Reason being that a strong adult gets tired of hm in less than 10 mins. The boy jumps like crazy without getting tired and can go on for hours. He dances to all songs played. Old and fragile ppl cannot hold him. Our house help, a woman in her mid 40's prefer any kind of household chore all day than to be alone with him for 2hrs.

Besides, he walks but not by himself. He walks while his hand is held and can walk holding furniture. Just not enough confidence and balance to let go off anything he's holding.

adanny01: Reading all ur post (except 1) gave me big smiles and a feeling that all will be well.

On my son, i believe all will be well. Reason being that a strong adult gets tired of hm in less than 10 mins. The boy jumps like crazy without getting tired and can go on for hours. He dances to all songs played. Old and fragile ppl cannot hold him. Our house help, a woman in her mid 40's prefer any kind of household chore all day than to be alone with him for 2hrs.

Besides, he walks but not by himself. He walks while his hand is held and can walk holding furniture. Just not enough confidence and balance to let go off anything he's holding.

Your son needs to shed some weight so that his legs can support his body.

bukatyne:

Your son needs to shed some weight so that his legs can support his body.

It not his weight.

He lost so much weight in November when he fell sick from Diarrhea. We almost lost him.

He lost interest in food that he still doesnt like other most foods till today. Since that time till now he has refused everything but breast milk and ocassionally pap. The cerelac we bought since March is there. We tried every kind of baby food but that strong baby will seal his lips with all his strenght that no 1 can feed him. Me, i do not attempt to feed him, one time we both bath with the cerelac i tried. Sometimes he rejects feeding bottle and accepts serving cup, sometimes the other way round. The open cup is disastrous though if he rejects coz he will just punch the cup with a big fist.

Even my mum has raised the white flag and given kudos to my wife.

I wonder where he gets the energy to do all the things he does.

About walking my mum said it runs in the family. Recently, my female coz delayed walking till she was 3. She walks and dances very well now at 6.

op Congrat,u ar a fast shooter ;Das 4 Iyawo,tell her 1 mrs,tasandra said,she got preggy wit anoda baby,wen my 1st baby was just 6 months old..u need to see them nw

But if you ask me, why are this couple living apart or are they not in the same country?

Jonwesley: But if you ask me, why are this couple living apart or are they not in the same country?

Coz i work in the south south and she works in the northwest.

I am to work here for only 2 yrs. Should she quit and join me knowing in a year i may be moving again?

Am sure u are nt married.

Maybe your absence is not making things easy for her. And it will only get harder with a pregnancy and an overactive baby.Next time you are transferring take your family with you. If she's working, try to encourage her to take a federal job so she can transfer easily.

The baby is probably traumatized from his experience. He should be eating solids by now. They need to be careful about the water he drinks. There is a thread in the health section that talks about these issues, am sure your wife can get good advice from mums who have gone through this. Its the newborn thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/971395/new-born-babies-u-new

baby_123: Maybe your absence is not making things easy for her. And it will only get harder with a pregnancy and an overactive baby.Next time you are transferring take your family with you. If she's working, try to encourage her to take a federal job so she can transfer easily.

The baby is probably traumatized from his experience. He should be eating solids by now. They need to be careful about the water he drinks. There is a thread in the health section that talks about these issues, am sure your wife can get good advice from mums who have gone through this. Its the newborn thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/971395/new-born-babies-u-new

Absence is always a big problem for couples living apart.

She has help with the boy. Since my parents house is 10mins from ours, she moved there when i left 8mnths ago. My two cousins take care of him while she goes to work. He's not a burden on her now.

I cannot move with my family, its just not possible. Her job is a permanent appointment. How would you like to be moved after every 1.5 - 2 years. My last station i could go home every weekend. Besides my employers take responsibility for my 2way trip home once every month.

Is a federal job so easy to get? Even if she had, would we be requesting for a transfer every time i move (sometimes after just a year)?

Am going through the thread. He has been weaned effectively since last week. He takes solids once a while. Just that he will not consume any reasonable quantity. He never rejects water, meat, cheese balls (my mums handiwork) or things he does not know. Readily accepts pap and beverage (milo) when hungry both served with milk only. Accepts solids like semo and rice when in very good mood. Does not accept any kind of drugs. Giving him drugs is war.

^^^ you are indeed blessed. There is no issue with ur wife getting preggy. Unprecedented blessing they call it.
On ur son, there is no cause for alarm too. I remember my daughter was like that, there was nothing we did not do to encourage her to walk b4 she clocked 1. Barely a week to her 1st Birthday, she just stood up and walked.. We were all so amazed at dat sight.
Also, to get her to eat or take drug was always war. She just woke up one day and started opening her mouth on her own accord.. Now she takes virtually everything eatable!
You have no reason to be worried.. neither does ur wife.. God makes everything beautiful at His time!

adanny01:

Absence is always a big problem for couples living apart.

She has help with the boy. Since my parents house is 10mins from ours, she moved there when i left 8mnths ago. My two cousins take care of him while she goes to work. He's not a burden on her now.

I cannot move with my family, its just not possible. Her job is a permanent appointment. How would you like to be moved after every 1.5 - 2 years. My last station i could go home every weekend. Besides my employers take responsibility for my 2way trip home once every month.

Is a federal job so easy to get? Even if she had, would we be requesting for a transfer every time i move (sometimes after just a year)?

Am going through the thread. He has been weaned effectively since last week. He takes solids once a while. Just that he will not consume any reasonable quantity. He never rejects water, meat, cheese balls (my mums handiwork) or things he does not know. Readily accepts pap and beverage (milo) when hungry both served with milk only. Accepts solids like semo and rice when in very good mood. Does not accept any kind of drugs. Giving him drugs is war.

Does he mix with other kids? If he sees competition, he will be eager to walk. I dont think it is a good idea to keep kids @ home. You can take him to creche and let him mix with other kids.
Those teachers @ school do fantastic jobs as well becos d kids always have ds kinda fear dat ds aint my parents so let me behave
Getting him a walker can also help him to walk. Tell ur wife or coz to always drill him.
In d case of taking drugs, i used to go thru that but than k God for wisdom.
I used to put the syrup in her food & atimes juice but now she points at her drugs now and opens her mouth to take it.
They can always hold his hands and encourage him to walk.

nikkykay:
Does he mix with other kids? If he sees competition, he will be eager to walk. I dont think it is a good idea to keep kids @ home. You can take him to creche and let him mix with other kids.
Those teachers @ school do fantastic jobs as well becos d kids always have ds kinda fear dat ds aint my parents so let me behave
Getting him a walker can also help him to walk. Tell ur wife or coz to always drill him.
In d case of taking drugs, i used to go thru that but than k God for wisdom.
I used to put the syrup in her food & atimes juice but now she points at her drugs now and opens her mouth to take it.
They can always hold his hands and encourage him to walk.

I don't think the last sentence is the best way to go. It doesn't help them develop confidence rather it makes them dependent on you for balance. I just noticed it with my son and i had to read up about it. He has fallen so many times when he tries to grab me to support him when he walks. Let him interact with other kids that are walking. He will definitely walk soon.

Congrats on your baby. May God give you the grace to take care of your children and may you live to see them become successes. Amen.

blank:

I don't think the last sentence is the best way to go. It doesn't help them develop confidence rather it makes them dependent on you for balance. I just noticed it with my son and i had to read up about it. He has fallen so many times when he tries to grab me to support him when he walks. Let him interact with other kids that are walking. He will definitely walk soon.

Congrats on your baby. May God give you the grace to take care of your children and may you live to see them become successes. Amen.

Thanks
You know then @ creche dey were teaching her how to walk so i decided to assist at home as well esp weekends.
So i helped her 2 hands and when she was up, i wuld leave her. She would stand like 10secs & take like 2 steps be4 she fell.
She wuld even laff cos she knew wot i was trying to do.
She is just 16months but i can tell you that anytime she wants to eat and i put her on my laps she will cry.
When i put her down, she will draw her small chair & look ard for bib be4 she will allow me to feed her.
Am so happy she is learning fast.
So i advise dat whatever dey r being tot @ school, we shld always endeavour to continue with them @ home

Your wife shouldn't be worried about that. I was barely 3 months old when my mum took in. Now most people think I and my brother are twins. As for your son, he will walk as soon as there is a little brother or sister and all the attention shifts fron him to the new born baby. I am a living testimony to that. Didnt walk until my brother was born. #Na den my eye clear say nobody dey look my face#

@adanny01 are you sure you are the father of that pregnancy ?

One pregnancy after the other is not easy. Having a 2-year-old and a baby can be hard too and you are not around. I can understand she is not happy but all will be well with time. Have some understanding and support her.

ceo003: @adanny01 are you sure you are the father of that pregnancy ?

what kind of questions is this now? Is this what the OP ask for? Or are you the father of the pregnancy?

Tell your wife that such is a blessing and comes from God and only God alone. Tell her there are people like me in a situation of unplanned spacing, wishing every month that The Lord will close the gap! I wish I was her. Abeg, she should not be silly. Embrace that pregnancy.

Life is easier when you have good attitude toward your situations.

@OP. Some women are in some mountains somewhere praying for "fruit of the womb" right now, some are negotiating with "baby factory" owners to buy a baby for millions, some have been given approval (by their hubby) to sleep with anything just to get pregnant, some are drinking, rubbing and bathing with concoction just to pregnant, not to mention those who sleep or are sleeping in some ramshackle "spiritual houses" and getting "knacked" by the white-garment wearing demons all in d name of looking for a baby, and your spouse is crying because of what people will say. Tell her she's been ungrateful to God for even complaining.
My spouse got pregnant with our second child while the first was just three months old. Today those who "mocked" her (including colleagues) adore those kids whenever they see them. Some even ask if they are twins.
Just keep encouraging her and she should focus on the EDD.
All the best.

adanny01: 1st of all, we live apart. I visited three weeks ago. We have a 14month old son who is not walking yet and still suckling. Though i have begged her to wean him but she refused on the grounds that he's not walking yet.

We agreed to use only natural family planning till we have at least 2 children. We broke the 'rules of natural family planning' thrice during my previous visit. By our calculations she was ovulating during this visit. She took postinor 2 twice in two months during my previous visits. This time around, i told her using too much of it is bad, so she didnt take any.

Her period got delayed so she got a PT strip and tested today which came in +ve.

She is so so depressed from the shame and guilt of conceiving while our 1st son is not walking yet (he's just too scared i believe). Her friends had been warning her not to get pregant again so early. In fact, she asked me to allow our son to be 3 before we conceive again. She has boasted to her friends that she is not giving birth till our son is 4. Our neighbour her friend boasted like that while pregant unknowingly. She didnt want it to happen the same way her friend did.

I am comfortable and welcome the development. In fact, i pray for twins which her immediate younger sis just discovered she is pregnant with. After all, our son will be almost 2 when she gives birth. It is just a month shy of the ideal child spacing of 2. Nothing i said has lifted her spirits. We are both not getting any younger at 32.

What more can i say than 'THANK YOU LORD FOR ANOTHER BLESSING'. I would be even happier if its a girl or in d case of twins or BG.

Though it has happened, friends and family talking behind you is embarassing. Any words of encouragement from NL?

Don't be overtly concerned about the baby not walking yet,as long he is developing properly,it will happen.Tell her to have him stand and walk holding tables and chairs around,pretty soon he will be walking on his own.
Congrats on the pregnancy.
People fast and pray and do all sorts of dangerous fertility treatments for years for this and she is depressed to be pregnant
Chai
This life is unfair

tpia5: Nairaland was there when you got married or when your spermatozoa was swimming up the canal or something?

What "encouragement" are you looking for, or you just want to find mugus who will post.

you took the words right out of my mind

Thanks to you all, the cute boy is 7 months old now and very handsome.