chaircover: Hmmmmmmmmm so the truth is finally revealed

The truth that women suffer more than men when relationships break down inspite of all our feminism, this is 2013, 50/50 etc

If a 29 year old man with 2 children from 2 different mothers still wants to get married, there wont be this much uproar, Some people will say its even good, that he has proved that he is a man. . . . .but now that the shoe is on the other foot, deliverance services & head washing are being prescribed

for the people that can read between the lines, a word is enough for the wise. Women be extra careful when it comes to relationships. Poor decisions now can/will haunt you later. This woman is already on the scrap heap at 29 and even if she manages to marry into this family, they will make her life hell and if she makes the mistake of entering Kulyies family her own don finish finally

This is not a divorced or widowed woman at 29 with 2 kids but a baby mama with 2 baby daddies at 29
There is a huge difference.

That is why women should be careful because the burden of an unwanted pregnancy usually falls on us
The man can walk away and continue with his life,the woman is stuck with the babies.
How many stories do you read of a man insisting a baby is his and how many of a woman pointing at a baby daddy that wants her to get lost and never come near him.
If the man had the babies,They will most likely stay with their mothers not the father .
Your teenage son Impregnating a teenage girl doesn't have the same effect as your teenage daughter being impregnated.

Switch this story around,if my 29 year old never been married sister was getting married to a 31 year old man with 2 baby mamas and he is taking care of the kids, I will advice her not to .
I wouldn't marry him myself.

kulyie: 1st of all i have never had sex with a man that i have not known his character too well beyond reasonable doubt.number 2 i dont just have sex with just about anybody that says you are beautiful.theres something called friends with benefits and there is something called oral contraceptives or condom,number 3 when people point out where both parties make mistakes (meanwhile any mistake that is more than once is no more a mistake as far as i am concerned) i wonder why people call it judging.number 4 if genuinely she was raped the first time,and she took in,what of the other kids

i wonder why some people will go back to their vomit and call it mistake.mistake is always the excuse for people who dont want to learn

She has 2 kids, she made mistakes, she can move on. We all deserve a chance at happiness.

Daresh:

She has 2 kids, she made mistakes, she can move on. We all deserve a chance at happiness.

Nobody says she can't move on and find happiness.

Would you introduce this woman as first choice to your own 31 yr old brother or son
That is the sincere way to answer this question.

If your brother or son called you and described this woman as his intended wife ,what will be your reaction?

Anyone that says they won't be shocked and try to persuade him otherwise is lying

i knw someone that doesnt have a child but she has had 5 abortions, she told me so herself, she even had it twice in 5months and she insists that all of them were mistakes. #mycousin

this is a very good babe, everybody loves her she is so hard working and respectful
@kulyie am very sure if u see her, without knowing this u will approve her for ur brothers. and because it doesnt show on her eveerybody calls her a good wife material. and u will too if u meet her.


all am saying is that, the fact that this girl has two kids from different fathers doesnt make heer a bad/useless person
it just shows that he made a bad choice twice. stop judging her and insulting her.

ur life might be perfect doesnt mean u should insult others who make mistakes

@OP have u tried to see what ur brother sees in her? surely there must be something he is seeing to make him insist on marrying her. y dont u try looking at her through his eyes?

two kids from 2different fathers omo that's more like one chance things o....my advice is to FLEEEE UNLESS THERE'S AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE

Aafulenu: i knw someone that doesnt have a child but she has had 5 abortions, she told me so herself, she even had it twice in 5months and she insists that all of them were mistakes. #mycousin

this is a very good babe, everybody loves her she is so hard working and respectful
@kulyie am very sure if u see her, without knowing this u will approve her for ur brothers. and because it doesnt show on her eveerybody calls her a good wife material. and u will too if u meet her.


all am saying is that, the fact that this girl has two kids from different fathers doesnt make heer a bad/useless person
it just shows that he made a bad choice twice. stop judging her and insulting her.

ur life might be perfect doesnt mean u should insult others who make mistakes

@OP have u tried to see what ur brother sees in her? surely there must be something he is seeing to make him insist on marrying her. y dont u try looking at her through his eyes?

babyosisi:

Nobody says she can't move on and find happiness.

Would you introduce this woman as first choice to your own 31 yr old brother or son
That is the sincere way to answer this question.

If your brother or son called you and described this woman as his intended wife ,what will be your reaction?

Anyone that says they won't be shocked and try to persuade him otherwise is lying

Like I wrote before I won't want my brother to marry a mum of 2 but what d OP is asking is how to stop the marriage. The guy has weighed his options and knows what he wants. If it was my brother instead of trying to stop the marriage and cos him unhappiness I would support him and pray the lady is good to him. If the marriage doesn't work then he would have learnt from it. But it is his mistake to make not for me to stop him. What if that woman is the woman for him. That loves cherishes and understands him? What if she was a different person when she had those kids? It is who she is now that attracted the OP's brother.

Aafulenu: i knw someone that doesnt have a child but she has had 5 abortions, she told me so herself, she even had it twice in 5months and she insists that all of them were mistakes. #mycousin

this is a very good babe, everybody loves her she is so hard working and respectful
@kulyie am very sure if u see her, without knowing this u will approve her for ur brothers. and because it doesnt show on her eveerybody calls her a good wife material. and u will too if u meet her.


all am saying is that, the fact that this girl has two kids from different fathers doesnt make heer a bad/useless person
it just shows that he made a bad choice twice. stop judging her and insulting her.

ur life might be perfect doesnt mean u should insult others who make mistakes

@OP have u tried to see what ur brother sees in her? surely there must be something he is seeing to make him insist on marrying her. y dont u try looking at her through his eyes?

Thank you very much for this. That what I've bn trying to explain. She had 2 kids because she had the guts to carry them. Countless girls have abortions everyday but you won't ever know cos belle is flat. We shd stop judging her Biko. Condoms break and many people have never heard of the morning after pill. My husband then bf didn't know what is was and many girls don't know. Shit happens everyday abeg.

Men - She must get pregnant before marriage oh, who knows how many abortions she's had...her womb might be damaged.

Men - She has children out of wedlock? Tufia! Who wants to deal with someone that irresponsible.

Men - My Ideal Bride is a pregnant virgin who is not a mother before marriage.

Women -

Sisi_Kill: Men - She must get pregnant before marriage oh, who knows how many abortions she's had...her womb might be damaged.

Men - She has children out of wedlock? Tufia! Who wants to deal with someone that irresponsible.

Men - My Ideal Bride is a pregnant virgin who is not a mother before marriage.

Women -

buhahahahaha
men know what they want - what they don't want is an irresponsible woman with 2 kids from 2 different fathers......

chaircover: Hmmmmmmmmm so the truth is finally revealed

The truth that women suffer more than men when relationships break down inspite of all our feminism, this is 2013, 50/50 etc

If a 29 year old man with 2 children from 2 different mothers still wants to get married, there wont be this much uproar, Some people will say its even good, that he has proved that he is a man. . . . .but now that the shoe is on the other foot, deliverance services & head washing are being prescribed

for the people that can read between the lines, a word is enough for the wise. Women be extra careful when it comes to relationships. Poor decisions now can/will haunt you later. This woman is already on the scrap heap at 29 and even if she manages to marry into this family, they will make her life hell and if she makes the mistake of entering Kulyies family her own don finish finally

This is not a man vs woman thing, this is about doing what makes sense. If my sister was going to marry a 29 year old boy who has two kids from different women, I will be equally worried. Just as it shows irresponsibility on the side of the woman, it shows irresponsibility on the side of the man. I don't want my sister getting into baby mama drama or marrying a guy who could end up with one of his former lovers. Having kids from different women is irresponsibly period.

Let us not be hypocrites, what is bad is bad. For man or for woman. Let us stop this chauvinistic society nonsense. Marriage is a choice, people make their own choices. If you are a woman and a guy with two kids proposes to you, you have a right to say no. Nobody can force you to marry the person so your analysis that their would not be an uproar is floored. Uproar or no uproar, the decision still lies with the individual. No one can force you to marry who you do not want to marry abi na by force? The main reason that will make the average Nigerian woman marry such a man is if and only if he has lots of money or in a case where the girl is over 35. No one would ever want their 24 year old sister marry an average broke guy with two kids.

Aafulenu: i knw someone that doesnt have a child but she has had 5 abortions, she told me so herself, she even had it twice in 5months and she insists that all of them were mistakes. #mycousin

this is a very good babe, everybody loves her she is so hard working and respectful
@kulyie am very sure if u see her, without knowing this u will approve her for ur brothers. and because it doesnt show on her eveerybody calls her a good wife material. and u will too if u meet her.

all am saying is that, the fact that this girl has two kids from different fathers doesnt make heer a bad/useless person
it just shows that he made a bad choice twice. stop judging her and insulting her.

ur life might be perfect doesnt mean u should insult others who make mistakes

@OP have u tried to see what ur brother sees in her? surely there must be something he is seeing to make him insist on marrying her. y dont u try looking at her through his eyes?

Sorry I wouldn't approve a girl that has children for two different men for my brother neither will I approve someone that has had 5 abortions. They do not write things on people's faces but when you know that this person has 5 abortions, I would not approve my brother marry such a person no matter how nice she is to me.

You cannot argue that because there are some very bad girls who don't get pregnant and end up marrying good guys, then it is ok for your brother to marry a bad girl. The devil you know is not always better than the angel you do not know. This is marriage and it is meant for a lifetime. One more mistake on the girl's part could make your brother devastated for life and that is not exactly what you want for him. Marriage is not trial and error please. Mistakes in marriage can be very costly on the couple, children and even families involved. When you see clear signs that a potential partner could have problems in future you dont turn a blind eye to it!

One of the reasons why I ask myself if Lola omotayo still has her head screwed on. A woman not married but has 2 kids for Peter psquare, claims not to be all about marriage but engages in a twitter battle with people who wonder why she is popping them babies with no ring. If marriage isn't your thing why be so defensive??

Tomorrow Peter will look for one sweet young girl with No baggage and marry her, watch Lola go to the nearest babalawo to curse him. He'd easily move on but her??how many nigerian men will marry someone that intentionally had 2 kids out of wedlock

Back to story....whoever said its a man's world.......29 with two kids from two different men You'd think first carelessness will bring about wisdom to either tie both legs or use some sort of contraceptive..... First fool no be fool, na second fool be fool.

If she was once married...... not married but just chopping carelessly anyhow?? Chukwu nna mere'm ebere.


Let your brother be, he is a grown man (I guess)

coogar:

if she's 29 and she has a 9 year-old then her attitude as an adolescent should be looked into. it means she got preggers at 20. it's not rocket science - at 20, most females were completing their first degrees and miss thing here was procreating - she's not responsible!



arrant nonsense!
if problem occurs later, who would this guy run back to? his family or a faceless afam4eva? if i can't advise my sibling on a sensitive issue like his marriage then i would rather not have him as a brother - he's better off dead to me.

at 29, 2 kids for 2 different men?
if she's a good wife material, why did the fathers of her children refuse to marry her? i would personally beat up my brother or wait till their wedding day and send hired thugs to beat up bride and groom to stupor.

well said

Daresh:


Thank you very much for this. That what I've bn trying to explain. She had 2 kids because she had the guts to carry them. Countless girls have abortions everyday but you won't ever know cos belle is flat. We shd stop judging her Biko. Condoms break and many people have never heard of the morning after pill. My husband then bf didn't know what is was and many girls don't know. Shit happens everyday abeg.

Nothing says a woman who had two kids could not have have gotten pregnant 7 times,had two kids and did 5 abortions
So doesn't really prove anything really.

ggood: From a female LIB reader.

My fellow readers of this great blog please I need your help urgently. My younger brother wants to marry a woman who has two kids by two different men. She's only 29 and already has a 9 year old and a four year old, both from different men she dated in the past. My brother is only 31 and I and other members of our family feel there are more decent women out there he can marry and not a young woman with two kids. We have tried to talk him out of it but he doesn't want it to hear it. It's not even like she's beautiful, well educated or rich so I don't understand his obsession with this woman. How is he going to take care of two kids that are not his? What do we do? How do we get him to get away from this woman? There are some family members who believe he's under a spell because his obsession with her and determination to marry her is not normal.

source http://lindaikeji..com/2013/06/dear-lib-readers-how-can-i-stop-my.html

He is under spell. He needs to be taken for deliverance to clear his eyes off

all am saying is u guys should take it easy with her, there must be something the man is seeing in her to make him ignore her past

Nashville:

Sorry I wouldn't approve a girl that has children for two different men for my brother neither will I approve someone that has had 5 abortions. They do not write things on people's faces but when you know that this person has 5 abortions, I would not approve my brother marry such a person no matter how nice she is to me.

You cannot argue that because there are some very bad girls who don't get pregnant and end up marrying good guys, then it is ok for your brother to marry a bad girl. The devil you know is not always better than the angel you do not know. This is marriage and it is meant for a lifetime. One more mistake on the girl's part could make your brother devastated for life and that is not exactly what you want for him. Marriage is not trial and error please. Mistakes in marriage can be very costly on the couple, children and even families involved. When you see clear signs that a potential partner could have problems in future you dont turn a blind eye to it!

gbam.you have said it all.i just wonder why some people feel its ok to marry out of pity.miss nice my foot.mshewww

Aafulenu: i knw someone that doesnt have a child but she has had 5 abortions, she told me so herself, she even had it twice in 5months and she insists that all of them were mistakes. #mycousin

this is a very good babe, everybody loves her she is so hard working and respectful
@kulyie am very sure if u see her, without knowing this u will approve her for ur brothers. and because it doesnt show on her eveerybody calls her a good wife material. and u will too if u meet her.


all am saying is that, the fact that this girl has two kids from different fathers doesnt make heer a bad/useless person
it just shows that he made a bad choice twice. stop judging her and insulting her.

ur life might be perfect doesnt mean u should insult others who make mistakes

@OP have u tried to see what ur brother sees in her? surely there must be something he is seeing to make him insist on marrying her. y dont u try looking at her through his eyes?

i will never advise anyone to marry out of pity.besides,my mom said something recently,thank God i wasnt the one that brought up the idea before my siblings say aunty shewa,e tunde.anyway she said that with the rate of abortions going on,any lady that wants to marry the rest of her sons must go and do all round medical examination in a hospital recomended by her.they will go together a week before introduction,they will verify if she had done abortions and all,my mom was like,if such a lady is not comfortable or ok with that idea or thinks she will be found out,should go and look for a man else where because i wont allow any of my sons marry a male dog pretending to be a meek sheep and will not let me see my grand children.rara ko jo.i want to see my grand kids from the first born to the last born before i leave this world.and me i was like o tie ti da be.there are too many wolves pretending to be sheeps this days,only wisdom and thorough investigation will make you see who they really are.

People need to marry for reasons that hold substance so that when the butterflies in the tummy are all dead,he or she can still hold on to the reason why he married her and vice versae

jennykadry: One of the reasons why I ask myself if Lola omotayo still has her head screwed on. A woman not married but has 2 kids for Peter psquare, claims not to be all about marriage but engages in a twitter battle with people who wonder why she is popping them babies with no ring. If marriage isn't your thing why be so defensive??

Tomorrow Peter will look for one sweet young girl with No baggage and marry her, watch Lola go to the nearest babalawo to curse him. He'd easily move on but her??how many nigerian men will marry someone that intentionally had 2 kids out of wedlock

Back to story....whoever said its a man's world.......29 with two kids from two different men You'd think first carelessness will bring about wisdom to either tie both legs or use some sort of contraceptive..... First fool no be fool, na second fool be fool.

If she was once married...... not married but just chopping carelessly anyhow?? Chukwu nna mere'm ebere.


Let your brother be, he is a grown man (I guess)

lola's case is different - she's 40 years of age!
the hope of doing a white wedding at 40 has been dashed. she just wants children she can call her own at the moment. let's compare like for like - the madam here is 29, she's still in the market!!!

coogar:

lola's case is different - she's 40 years of age!
the hope of doing a white wedding at 40 has been dashed. she just wants children she can call her own at the moment. let's compare like for like - the madam here is 29, she's still in the market!!!

my dear dont be deceived.29 is no more in the market.if you said a 29 with no kid na,ehen,i can agree with you that she is still in the market,but a 29 with more than one child is no more in the market.she has 1 more year to enter 3o with 4 kids.

26 sef wey still dey market,wey never born,all the breast stand gidigba,hips,shoot out,stomach inside never see man.omo ma lo ro o.

a 29 year old woman with 4 kids most likely has a drop dead breast that even with bra sef,the thing go dey slip out.no let me go to how the power house will be,when pikin don pass there 4 times.you know how many times those 2 men has logged in before those kids came.dont be fooled o 8-)

kulyie: my dear dont be deceived.29 is no more in the market.if you said a 29 with no kid na,ehen,i can agree with you that she is still in the market,but a 29 with more than one child is no more in the market.she has 1 more year to enter 3o with 4 kids.

she has 2 kids.....
besides, what i mean is this woman was in her prime when she decided to have those babies.....

26 sef wey still dey market,wey never born,all the breast stand gidigba,hips,shoot out,stomach inside never see man.omo ma lo ro o.

there are some chics at 29 and you would think they are 19. it depends on how a woman grooms her body.

a 29 year old woman with 4 kids most likely has a drop dead breast that even with bra sef,the thing go dey slip out.no let me go to how the power house will be,when pikin don pass there 4 times.you know how many times those 2 men has logged in before those kids came.dont be fooled o 8-)

you need deliverance!
joke silva looks better than most 25-year-old babes - age matters but you cannot focus too much on it.

coogar:

she has 2 kids.....
besides, what i mean is this woman was in her prime when she decided to have those babies.....



there are some chics at 29 and you would think they are 19. it depends on how a woman grooms her body.



you need deliverance!
joke silva looks better than most 25-year-old babes - age matters but you cannot focus too much on it.

i need deliverance because i talk truth,ok o.lmao .if you no gree my own,i gree ur own

^ ^ ^
The day coogar agrees to another person's opinion, i'll ALMOST stop coming to Nairaland.

alutacontinua: ^ ^ ^
The day coogar agrees to another person's opinion, i'll ALMOST stop coming to Nairaland.

ALMOST stop coming is too vague! you should stop coming. contrary to what you think, i agree all the time with the opinion of others, especially ileoba

coogar:

ALMOST stop coming is too vague! you should stop coming. contrary to what you think, i agree all the time with the opinion of others, especially ileoba

We're saying the same thing.

coogar:

ALMOST stop coming is too vague! you should stop coming. contrary to what you think, i agree all the time with the opinion of others, especially ileoba

Has Jenny lifted your embargo already?

ileobatojo:



Has Jenny lifted your embargo already?

embargo lifted since 12am sunday morning
it's the mother of all battles with you this week, fasten your seatbelt as i prepare to convert you from a sorceress to a deaconess.

alutacontinua:
We're saying the same thing.

i disagree

coogar:

embargo lifted since 12am sunday morning
it's the mother of all battles with you this week, fasten your seatbelt as i prepare to convert you from a sorceress to a deaconess.



i disagree

lolllll


by the way coogar boy no just think say you win.i just let you go because i dey busy.let me close from work,na me and you go wear the same sokoto for nairaland today 8-)

kulyie: lolllll
by the way coogar boy no just think say you win.i just let you go because i dey busy.let me close from work,na me and you go wear the same sokoto for nairaland today 8-)

i welcome the challenge...

coogar:

embargo lifted since 12am sunday morning
it's the mother of all battles with you this week, fasten your seatbelt as i prepare to convert you from a sorceress to a deaconess.

Lol! Prepare to be soundly defeated!! As usual!!

kulyie: lolllll


by the way coogar boy no just think say you win.i just let you go because i dey busy.let me close from work,na me and you go wear the same sokoto for nairaland today 8-)

Ope o. Kulyie is ready for you today. Let me go and prepare my popcorn.

I kind of agree with you over the fact that the lady might have an ammoral youth for to have 2 kids for different fathers at her age, but saying you have got to have a say in your brother's marital plan is rubbish. Are you going to live his life for him?

I kind of agree with you over the fact that the lady might have an ammoral youth for to have 2 kids for different fathers at her age, but saying you have got to have a say in your brother's marital plan is rubbish. Are you going to live his life for him?