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Stats: 1,363,723 members, 2,067,751 topics. Date: Saturday, 23 May 2015 at 08:19 AM
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by lucieo(f): 8:57pm On Jun 23, 2007|
And the reason why he is my fiance is because he has put a ring on my finger, what else would you call him,
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by nkirkura: 4:47am On Aug 23, 2007|
isn't it just easier to consider loving a man already here (america) rather to go thru all that immigration worry. there are many available nigerian kings here if that is your preference. but please understand what it means to be wed to an african man. american women don't always understand the submission. just a thought.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by lucieo(f): 5:01am On Aug 23, 2007|
thanks for your input on this topic. Just wanted to thank everyone who posted comments on this post which i created. My engagement to my nigerian has been cancelled as well as any future wedding plans. We still remain friends but we both have realized that this union would not work for either one of us, We are both different as night and day. (no pun intended) he is black, of course and i white. I have realized that it is not so much the nigerian that i am interested in, but the fact that he is black,and I dont have to go half way around the world to find a black man, god knows we have plenty of them here and without all the extra headaches,
thanks to everyone who helped me to realize that. this is a fantastic website,
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by ochiaha1(m): 2:46pm On Aug 24, 2007|
@Nalijah, I can sense you have a beautiful soul and my Naija brother is very lucky to have you.Please keep on giving him the love and respect he deserves and he will always treat you like his Naija Queen.
@Ayeisha,your problem with your lovers parents is your manner of greeting, please seek out a trusted Nigerian lady born and bred in Nigeria, before travelling out to the US, so that she can advice you on the way to greet any Nigerian who is older than yourself, be they your lovers parents or not.
Also find a way to warm your way into your lover's mom heart by helping her in cooking or any other domestic activity; this will really indicate to them how well you will go about to take good care of their son if eventually you get married to him.Don't give up!!!!!
@Njean,Nigerian men might not say much about their love for you, rather they will demonstrate it by their actions,so do not get worried if he does not say, "I love you" very often as he was brought up in a cultural setting where it is not said often .Goodluck !!!
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 10:15pm On Aug 24, 2007|
hum, this is a very interesting post. So many good points and cautions from people that know,
Lucieo, where are you in USA?, just wandering,
peace & good luck to you,
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by redwoman(f): 8:43pm On Aug 29, 2007|
When all i said and done, all people are the same, some good some bad, it does not matter what part of the earth they happen to inhabit. You would be surprised just how much we all have in common. I am a black african american and i am marrier to a nigerian. If i characterized all nigeria men by my husband, i would have to say that all nigerian men are very intelligent, loving, kind and very romantic. We have been married for almost 4 years now and we are very happy. You have to know who you are dealing with, it does not matter where you coming from. get to know the one you love before you decide to marry. I visit this forum alot and it just surprise me to see that african american and african have alot of things in common. Trust there are alot of people that do not really try to make their marriages work, and it does end in divorce, but i gurantee you that alot of people stay together for reasons other than being in love, in america, africa and other countries. Do not be so quick to judge, All blacks do not just go around killing each other, no race of people has killed more than the white race. Black are in the media more, what race of people inhabit 95% of serial killers, it is not the black race. What i can say is that blacks in America is their own worst enemy. and if i believed all the bad things that have been perpetrated by the media and the government i would never have met the most wonderful person i have ever known. But anyway i just wanted you all to know that i am in a loving relationship with my nigerian man, and God bless we will remand this way. Much love
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by NJean(f): 2:05am On Sep 18, 2007|
@ ochi-aha thanks for the insight. It's difficult or should I say different for me to feel the love without the words. I LIKE the words. And I use them frequently with those that are dearest to my heart. I'll have to get used to the cultural difference, because I'm sure there others coming my way!!
We are traveling to Nigeria this year to visit his family. I'm not sure what the reception will be. Some on this threads have scared the you know what out of me but maybe that is their intent. I'll take any thoughts on this wonderful man taking a tall blonde back to his native land.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Leilah(f): 7:46pm On Sep 18, 2007|
Hey tall blonde I am a six foot snow white red head and when I was brought to nigeria I felt as though everyone thought I had lots of money when in fact I was BROKE. Don't pay for anything by yourself you can be overcharged.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by vronnie(f): 6:48pm On Sep 25, 2007|
all I can say it that I love my nigerian man and I know that im loved by him.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by afrodixie: 6:54pm On Sep 25, 2007|
They are in for a very rough ride! You think say to marry Naija dude easy?---You have to be on top of the game always!!!! Poor things! The only ones who survive the menace are those who really have a good deal of "blackmail" on the Nigerian husbands. Most have done a lot of "poo" here and there and everywhere so have secrets up to the "whazooooooooooo" So they practically have to kill the "mofos" first before they escape. Others just relocate to Nigeria and start a new family there!
he he he he he he he he! Abi no be so ma brothers? Those mother phockers are something else oh! Full of some shitty games! If culture can't explain their waywardness, they will bring in religion. If all else fails--they will use their fists! Learn some Tae kwan Do my dear girls oh! ---The journey is long and tedious! God be with y'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Leilah(f): 11:40pm On Sep 26, 2007|
oh you Have said it afrodixie hit it on the nail. You see they are used to ruling with an iron fist. As much as I love my husband he would be WAAAAYYYY better off with on of his own tribe who will let him out on holidays, parties without her, clubs without her etc etc. Its only the strong naija ladies that can handle em kudos to you naija ladies you really have the patience of saints.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Leilah(f): 11:42pm On Sep 26, 2007|
PS I'm on top of the game to a certain degree. I have him under 224 surveilance me don't want no HIV
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Leilah(f): 11:48pm On Sep 26, 2007|
PS I'm on top of the game to a certain degree. I have him under 24hour surveilance since I met him four years ago - me don't want no HIV
You for got to mention, there are quite a few that skip the culture thing and the religion thing to justify their behaviour some don't even have the patience to speak about culture or religion its straight in with the fist!!!!
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by osisi5: 12:19am On Sep 27, 2007|
Please ladies don't mind afrodixie.
She's a joker most of the time.
Let me be very frank here and sound a note of warning to any of my American sisters who have ears.
I would hate for anyman to take advantage of my fellow woman
American women are in high demand not just to Nigerian men but to all immigrants.
It's an open secret that immigrants including Nigerians get into these marriages solely for green card purposes and have ruined lives in the process and the saddest part is that there are thousands and thousands of kids resulting from these shady unions,kids that have been denied the joy of having a father by the foolish act of these men.
I would advise that American women be careful,if possible keep away from those without papers and be extra vigilant.
These men are heartless.
In some situations,everyone around knows the woman is just for "papers' except the woman involved.
Things to watch out for.
If green card is the ultimate discussion keep away
If he insists on marrying you at the justice of the peace rather than Church,inviting friends and family,keep away.
Nigerians usually don't do registry weddings if it's genuine.
If he has female "cousins" calling from home , forget him.
If his family in Nigeria never call his home #,never speak with you and don't know you,they obviously don't know you exist.
If you have a baby and his parents and siblings never call,that's not our culture,they don't know about you.
let me stop so far.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by omoge(f): 12:26am On Sep 27, 2007|
hahahaha, am sure our brothers will be sighing and saying why is our sister spoiling show
i liked that one with not calling the home . they prefer the cell phone .
sad many Western women are still falling for those guys.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by osisi5: 12:50am On Sep 27, 2007|
my sister these men are heartless.
They have ruined the lives of several women and children
I've heard of men who practically disappeared in the dead of the night after getting the green card and the poor wife is left to file for divorce due to spousal abandonment.
What real man will run away from his own kids that way,children who called him daddy,whose births he may have witnessed.
If I were a lawyer,these men would have been my targets.
These and any men who would run away from the responsibility of fatherhood.
I will make them pay child support sotay,they'll have nothing left to eat but kwulikwuli.
I'll make sure they learn a bitter lesson.
Next time they see a woman,they'll pick race
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by omoge(f): 12:56am On Sep 27, 2007|
lol, i heard they are now focusing on white women.
they run away from the black american women because they are good at digging it
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by osisi5: 12:59am On Sep 27, 2007|
please break it down.
You know I'm not that street smart
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by omoge(f): 1:13am On Sep 27, 2007|
like going to court all the time. i knew of a lady who called INS for a guy. the case is still pending. he didn't get to run too far
she quit school now to take care of the kids.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by osisi5: 1:20am On Sep 27, 2007|
serves him right.
Any woman who shows these green card seeking men pepper is allowed.
He will pay child support,pay alimony (in some states).pay for the house they live in and the car she uses to drive the kids then he'll find out that hamattan can give chapped lips.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Militiana: 7:10am On Sep 27, 2007|
These ladies omoge and +osisi no well at all! You sabi them welly welly! These guys over here are terrible. Ladies--white or black or African---BEWARE OF NIGERIAN GREEN CARD SEEKERS--- they will mess up your lives---without any conscience!!! Make sure you are well-schooled before you fall for that "afrodickey "!!!!
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by mellow(m): 12:03pm On Sep 27, 2007|
Since you Ladies are aware of these attitudes, why do women
still fall foul to them? Or were they blindfolded?[/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Militiana: 5:37am On Sep 28, 2007|
Because we need baby daddies---also landscapers to "mow" our lawns and "trim" our bushes!!!! Just as they need sharpeners to "sharpen" their pencils!
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by April22(f): 2:40pm On Sep 28, 2007|
Because we need baby daddies---also landscapers to "mow" our lawns and "trim" our bushes!!!! Just as they need sharpeners to "sharpen" their pencils! Kiss
I disagree. I think these women honestly believe they're in love and want companionship. AA women want more than just sex and a breeder.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by simbalove: 11:58pm On Sep 28, 2007|
This is my first time to this site. I am a intelligent, well read American woman who has fallen deeply in love with a younger Nigerian Man. We have been together for almost a year. We have our good days and our bad of course. But mostly good. All of the sudden he is wanting to marry. I told him no, it it is for the wrong reasons. He got mad and said if I loved him I would marry him for whatever the reason. To me that is not so, Marriage is a commitment that comes from the heart and the soul. He askeed, would you marry me just for me to get my papers. No, I won't. So then he said well, I asked a friend of mine and she will. So, I said go for it, In my heart I was dying, That cut like a knife, We worked things out and he finally said He loved me. I know Nigerian Men don't say that a lot. He does show it in many ways, I am leary though, He keeps on saying lets go to the Vegas, It is quick there. I don't want that. I want it to be from his heart and his soul. Like me, Should I be wary of his intentions? I am so confused. He is so hard to understand sometimes. So hardheaded, H.E.L.P [color=#770077][/color]
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by omoge(f): 1:45pm On Sep 29, 2007|
ha!! this one made it clear that he need his green card. Don't do it. if you really feel pity for him and don't want him and his sorry story, then make sure you milk him real dry . it will be fun and a lesson.
be weary of that ''i love you''
if he really want to marry you, make sure it's not in vegas (too many drive through unions).
get an expensive engagement ring and wedding ring. make sure you pick the most expensive. (maybe he can't afford it ), or he can. dear you have something for the pawn shop (you make good money, afterall for him it's business). don't accept any engagement ring that he came in with (might be from the pawn store).
You should pick one yourself (real expensive stone) for him to pay.
make sure the wedding is huge, i mean very huge! and he pays for everything even your gown, pantyhose and the cake. (get an expensive wedding planner too).
keep his Social security number in a lockbox. so that when he escapes in future you know how to find him and get that alimony and child support.
shine ya eyes my sister
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by April22(f): 3:13pm On Sep 29, 2007|
Listen to your intuition and pay attention to this man's actions. If he really loved you, he wouldn't pressure you to get married. He'd give you more time and he for sure wouldn't go off and marry someone else. This one isn't it.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by nwando: 5:14pm On Oct 02, 2007|
simbalove:From a Nigerian lady who loves you,I say run run run.
Real Nigerian men don't do Vegas.
Go and ask questions.
I'm yet to see a Nigerian man who married for real in Vegas.
They do real church weddings with brides maids and the whole nine yards.
This guy just needs a green card then he'll leave you and a wife will be parceled from Ogidi or Agenegbode for him.
Tell your other American girlfriends to sign in to nairaland and get educated from women who care about fellow women.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by almondjoy(f): 6:58pm On Oct 02, 2007|
You need to stay under your mango tree for a while babe. Don't forget that one wife can be parcelled from Aba or Onitsha too.
People like Simbalove will learn the hard way and will end up on Nairaland like "Leilah" to tell us their stories. As fellow brothers and sisters, we are always here to lend a "shoulder" to cry on. Hey! Simbalove, if it smells like a duck, looks like a suck, quacks like a duck, then the shoe fits. I am not saying you should not marry the guy. Just make sure you have an complete "engine" tune up every 2-3 months to make sure your struts and shocks are in tip top form and shape. The ride is going to be one of the bumpiest in your life. Let me not forget to add that "we" are not very good communicators, verbally or otherwise. Goodluck sister,
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by nwando: 10:49pm On Oct 02, 2007|
climbing the mango tree
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by Leilah(f): 12:48am On Oct 04, 2007|
Reading all this wedding plans stuff it makes me feel ill now. My wedding was in the registry office in Abuja. Quick job indeed it was. My ring cost ten euros here in Ireland and know what, at that time I didn't have a job or nothing and a child for another man that was nine months old at the time. I was in a vulnerable situation. Thankfully, i have managed to gain some benefits my husband, I gained some love and help for my child (financially) he toolk me and my child to see his whole family in Enugu. Now my child is three and I'm in my last year in my MA in Law. We should just make the best out of a bad situation and respect each other whether it be temporarily or till death do us part. Funny enough, there are some white ladies that married in a registrars office ten years ago and they are still married! but thats is like one or two in about ten thousand. Even if the paper is gained there are serious cultural barriers to cross. I am currently crossing those barriers. I have been to so many nigerian weddings and I can say I had tears in my eyes with happiness to see a genuine faith filled union. I looked at myself and I felt a lump in my throat and looked at how my wedding was. I put it to my husband how I felt (like an ) and he said we simply didn't have the money for a big wedding. I have also often pointed out to him that a nigerian lady would most likely, not settle for the type of setting I have. Bottom line I will and will continue to prepare to be alone in the event should I be alone I will have some sort of bank account with money in it. I am thinking of setting up a run away fund.
|Re: American Women That Marry Nigerian Men by nwando: 1:16am On Oct 04, 2007|
Please don't run away,this man may be genuine but what I told you is true.
Nigerians usually don't do rush rush registry.
Registry wedding (not the rush rush type) is popular in places like Lagos amongst Yorubas not Igbos.
You said your man had family in Enugu so I assume he's Igbo.
I do not know a single member of my family,nuclear or extended or even family friends that did registry wedding.
Not even one.
I am sick and tired of seeing women used and abused by these green card seekers.
It's about time people knew their modus operandi.
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