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What Can Make You Disown Your Child? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by greatgod2012(f): 8:05pm On Jun 16, 2013
Mynd_44:
When your own son becomes a terror suspect and decides to use your boysquarters as a base for his boys and him. Keep talking oooo


lol.
Parenthood is such a great task, afi ki Olorun ran awa obi lowo.

Sometimes, i dont know why, but i have seen an extremely nice and godly parent whose one of their children turn out very bad, i dont know why is this. I have also seen a highly rebellious parent whose one or more of their children is extremely enviable, why Is it destiny is it their luck Why
Afi ki Olorun ran wa lowo.
(Only God can help us all).
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Mynd44: 8:09pm On Jun 16, 2013
Yomieluv: first,for a child to be wayward shows that the parents have failed in their responsibilities.
a good parent would first look at the loopholes they failed,then try to correct it.
Wrong. Some kids just decide to become problems.

When a child becomes an adult, there is not much you can do again concerning his/her decisions. What will a parent do if a 20 year old boy becomes a yahoo boy, starts making money and joins a school cult?

2 Likes

Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 8:30pm On Jun 16, 2013
Mynd_44:
Wrong. Some kids just decide to become problems.

When a child becomes an adult, there is not much you can do again concerning his/her decisions. What will a parent do if a 20 year old boy becomes a yahoo boy, starts making money and joins a school cult?
train a child in the way of God,and he wont depart from it..
a person would always make a reference to his upbringing ,no matter what.

when i got admission,my mum pleaded with me never to become a cultist,that kept me going through out my university days....
i had so many temptation,but i always remember the promises i made to my mum....

meaning that i stuck to her training on me.

parental responsibility goes on long way in a child life.
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Mynd44: 8:35pm On Jun 16, 2013
Yomieluv: train a child in the way of God,and he wont depart from it..
a person would always make a reference to his upbringing ,no matter what.

when i got admission,my mum pleaded with me never to become a cultist,that kept me going through out my university days....
i had so many temptation,but i always remember the promises i made to my mum....

meaning that i stuck to her training on me.

parental responsibility goes on long way in a child life.
So are you willing to blame every bad youth out there on their parenting?
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 9:07pm On Jun 16, 2013
kind of
Mynd_44:
So are you willing to blame every bad youth out there on their parenting?
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Mynd44: 9:12pm On Jun 16, 2013
Yomieluv: kind of
There is no way in heaven, earth or hell I am gonna grace this with a reply that is bent on proving you wrong dude.

I will rather sit back and watch
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 9:16pm On Jun 16, 2013
state your cause man,this is a forum,and am not limited to my ability man.
Mynd_44:
There is no way in heaven, earth or hell I am gonna grace this with a reply that is bent on proving you wrong dude.

I will rather sit back and watch
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by k2039: 9:33pm On Jun 16, 2013
Yomieluv: first,for a child to be wayward shows that the parents have failed in their responsibilities.
a good parent would first look at the loopholes they failed,then try to correct it.
Omo ti won ko ti o gbeko nko, ejo obi e no ni. Mtchew.
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by k2039: 9:36pm On Jun 16, 2013
Yomieluv: train a child in the way of God,and he wont depart from it..
a person would always make a reference to his upbringing ,no matter what.

when i got admission,my mum pleaded with me never to become a cultist,that kept me going through out my university days....
i had so many temptation,but i always remember the promises i made to my mum....

meaning that i stuck to her training on me.

parental responsibility goes on long way in a child life.
So you think those who join yahoo or a cult were not warned by their parents.

Abeg, just thank God for your life.

Abiko wa, akogba na de wa.

Parental responsibility goes a long way, but it's the child's choice to decide to stick with his parents way of life or not.

1 Like

Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by damiso(f): 7:03am On Jun 17, 2013
k2039:
So you think those who join yahoo or a cult were not warned by their parents.

Abeg, just thank God for your life.

Abiko wa, akogba na de wa.

Parental responsibility goes a long way, but it's the child's choice to decide to stick with his parents way of life or not.
GBAM.From 18 or lets stretch it abit cos adulthood is kinda delayed in Africa 21 cheesy an adult is responsible for his or her actions.In this case I might not disown in the sense of disown, but I would definitely take a harder line stance, showing that bro I can decide to mentally write you off.Still does not mean I will not be praying for the child but if love, care,instruction lhas not worked till then, its time to introduce tough love.
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by bellong: 8:33am On Jun 17, 2013
Sometimes parents adopt the same style in dealing with all their children. The fact that something worked for a first born does not mean it will work for the second.

Some of the problems experienced in wayward children is as a result of the rigid training adopted by parents. It is essential that parents study each of their children and approach them differently. Some parents do compare one kid with the other even from childhood, that alone is enough to sow a seed of bitterness, hatred and rebellion in the child thereby turning him to a "terrorist" to the parents.

In all, parents alone can not be blamed for every wayward children but each case should be treated on its merit while examining the genesis and root cause of the problem so as to find a lasting solution.

#This is a response to Yomieluv who thinks parents alone should be blamed for every children turned miscreants#

It is well with us all.

2 Likes

Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by 3ace(m): 3:07pm On Jun 17, 2013
There was a recent story of a boy who butchered his father to death. If that man escaped that attack, he will definitely not only disown him, but move far away from him.
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Revolva(m): 3:11pm On Jun 17, 2013
well i can disown my child if i was in the case of Laurence fishburne (Matrix the movie star)my own daughter a porn star..Ohh ma Lard
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Mynd44: 3:14pm On Jun 17, 2013
3ace: There was a recent story of a boy who butchered his father to death. If that man escaped that attack, he will definitely not only disown him, but move far away from him.
that's unfortunately true
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Mynd44: 3:14pm On Jun 17, 2013
Revolva: well i can disown my child if i was in the case of Laurence fishburne (Matrix the movie star)my own daughter a porn star..Ohh ma Lard
Lol
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by everyday: 3:20pm On Jun 17, 2013
At first i wan in support of disowning a child if he does something terrible like raping his mother but after reading the opinion of some other Nairaland members i guess it will be better to forgive your child no matter what.Leave the judgement to God though if it were my wife my son raped i will shoot him with a gun or better still strangle him with my bare hands
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 3:23pm On Jun 17, 2013
Yomieluv: first,for a child to be wayward shows that the parents have failed in their responsibilities.
a good parent would first look at the loopholes they failed,then try to correct it.

Yomieluv: kind of

I pray that none of your children turn out to be 'wayward', for your sake anyway lol
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by adexsimply(m): 3:25pm On Jun 17, 2013
Yomieluv: train a child in the way of God,and he wont depart from it..
a person would always make a reference to his upbringing ,no matter what.

when i got admission,my mum pleaded with me never to become a cultist,that kept me going through out my university days....
i had so many temptation,but i always remember the promises i made to my mum....

meaning that i stuck to her training on me.

parental responsibility goes on long way in a child life.
Sorry bro..You are not being practical joor...We(I and my two younger siblings) were brought up in a conc. "Deeper Life" home...Only a member of Deeper Life could imagine the kind of Biblical drilling and physical restrictions we were given, despite all these, my younger brother(the last child) almost became something else. He was so badly behaved that he started patronizing girls at a very tender age. Talk of any atrocities(ranging from stealing), and you would meet my brother there. No amount of beating, prayer, counseling etc. could change his life. Not until I told everyone to "let him be on his own"..as in: stop beating him, stop scolding him, stop counseling him, blah blah.
Now he has really changed..Very organized, Intelligent, Smart, Creative..in short, he is everything I and my younger sis would never be,although he's still fiercely independent and would not bow to any rule(s)
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by novia22(f): 3:26pm On Jun 17, 2013
Yomieluv: first,for a child to be wayward shows that the parents have failed in their responsibilities.
a good parent would first look at the loopholes they failed,then try to correct it.
Because a child is wayward doesn't mean the parents failed in their responsibility to bring him up rightly.Some kids were just destined to be the devil's walking stick no matter how hard their folks try.

1 Like

Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by ifebosco: 3:28pm On Jun 17, 2013
jmoore:
I have a case study. This boy is the bad apple in the family, he even fights with his own father and insults him publicly. His siblings are good.
Some parents try to raise their kids the right way but some kids end up choosing a bad lifestyle.
How can a son threaten to kill his own father. And you think the father will stand and watch?
any day my son do that. he is dead, sorry i will not take that from my children ,
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Celepope: 3:28pm On Jun 17, 2013
[b]Those people on this thread speaking against disowning have not seen anything from evil children.Some kids their parent have done everything possible to make them a better person yet they have made up their mind to sell their soul to the devil in exchange for nothing.What do you expect the parent to do.Many of you against disowning your own child will certainly harbor that Boko Haram crook the father reported to JTF in Maidugiri last week.Though from my point of view of disowning situation in Nigeria its only the rich that does that simply because they gat what they can use in punishing such kid.A boy with a poor parent have nothing to lose if he is disowned.I have seen a father that disowned his son but he kept on staying in his house except that they don't speak to each other and when this man passed on even the wife was shocked that her late husband willed all his physical cash and asset to charity and Church except for few stakes in his companies to his wife.Funny enough the boy was their only child[/b]

1 Like

Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by dd12: 3:31pm On Jun 17, 2013
land properity

Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by gagafuc: 3:37pm On Jun 17, 2013
I no go disown my child ooo
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by yuzedo: 3:37pm On Jun 17, 2013
That stoopid boy can come back with his yeye gay gang to attack his parents o! Cos he is obviously devoid of intellectual functioning! I'd advocate they bundle the boy to a remote village in china where he should be chained and made to carry out community service for a year or three. WTH?! How won't you want to be useful to yourself and your family?! Well what am i saying? Perhaps the parents had a hand in this unfortunate predicament? Maybe past sins or failings i.e. too much indulging while raising the deviant? undecided Pathetic!

Before i disown my own flesh and blood, hmmmmm! In fact, i'll rather kill him so he doesn't come back to mete any monkey business on his family; because to be so hopelessly lost, he must obviously be bordering on the psychedelic which can constitute a danger to others. Na God go punish dat pikin wey wen fall my hand! Ah go waste am! angry angry angry
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 3:40pm On Jun 17, 2013
If my child is a man utd fan,i disown him...because our blood dnt match.,when i av a blue blood.Even most of d galz av made out wit av blue blood...Y wuld i make out wit a red devil?God4bid
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 3:42pm On Jun 17, 2013
bellong:

Some of the problems experienced in wayward children is as a result of the rigid training adopted by parents. It is essential that parents study each of their children and approach them differently.

This is an excellent point!

If you end up with a problem child among your children, that means what you are doing is ineffective for that particular child. You need to figure out tactics to help modify that child's behavior. Yes, you will need to leave your comfort zone, you need to let go of your default mode. You need to modify your own behavior first to be able to help that child. You can't just keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.

Lack of education, lack of resources contribute to this problem. Also the sheep mentality contributes, 'that's how it's always been done so that's how I will do it'.

1 Like

Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by yuzedo: 3:44pm On Jun 17, 2013
yellowpawpaw: Mr biolabee,I call them failures bc they hv given up on their son.
Failure means when u didn't get something right and u give up even if u've bn tryin ur best to get it.

I will give u another example.
Durin d bakassi tyme,I hapned to witness one of their bizzare killin unintentionally at my place.
I knew one of d guys kild.early forty kind of guy.he was bad,every body knows.but on dat day,what caught my attention was d mum.she insisted on seein her son for d last time even in such a bad situation. She was wailing.pple were consolin her.I can't start narratin what she said cos I even cried.pple cried with her.she didn't give up even in death and we all know she did her best.get it?
Like I said earlier,any parent that said s/he will disown admitted s/he is a failure.
Durin uni,one bad guy in d nebor hood was know for doin it all wrong.a time he was mentally unstable.guess d dad?a well know and respected prof.d guy left d family house and was livin alone. A caricature.he has bn taken to rehab,counseled many times.I still remember d dad's numerous visits and humiliation but that man didn't give up.that guy spent more than 8yrs in school.d last time I went to dat school,I met him.he actually stopd me.I wanted to run but they told me that he is ok now and a grad.it took d family yrs of constantly showing lv and it paid off. Even if it didn't,u can't disown.
God still show lv to us despite our shortcomings.spouses still show lv to abbusive and bad mates even when pple thing they r crazy cos they hope dat there will be change one day.how much more ur child!
I think I can't explain my statement more than this.thank u.
This your message was hardly articulate but well received, nonetheless. I use God beg you bros, try dey write well abeg make people dey understand you, ABEG! Your comment is touching, though! It stirred emotions in me.
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Afam4eva(m): 3:47pm On Jun 17, 2013
Disowning your child is an acceptance of your own failure as a parent to train up your child. If you as a parent had done the right things, the child would not become a burden and a nuisance and so the need to disown that child will not come up. Another word for such parents is "Coward". You don't run away when the going gets tough but prove yourself as a good parent when you see your children through whatever problems or challenges they may be facing. Taking the easy way out is not the solution. Even though i don't usually agree with Coogar because he's baased in London, but i think i agree with his assertion of sending such a child to the war front to learn how to be responsible.
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by adexsimply(m): 3:48pm On Jun 17, 2013
yuzedo:
This your message was hardly articulate but well received, nonetheless. I use God beg you bros,try dey write well abeg make people dey understand you, ABEG!Your comment is touching, though! It stirred emotions in me.
I guess He borrowed a leaf from your note


we give upp!!!
grin grin grin
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by biolabee(m): 4:16pm On Jun 17, 2013
Cele-pope:
Those people on this thread speaking against disowning have not seen anything from evil children.Some kids their parent have done everything possible to make them a better person yet they have made up their mind to sell their soul to the devil in exchange for nothing. What do you expect the parent to do.Many of you against disowning your own child will certainly harbor that Boko Haram crook the father reported to JTF in Maidugiri last week.Though from my point of view of disowning situation in Nigeria its only the rich that does that simply because they gat what they can use in punishing such kid.A boy with a poor parent have nothing to lose if he is disowned.I have seen a father that disowned his son but he kept on staying in his house except that they don't speak to each other and when this man passed on even the wife was shocked that her late husband willed all his physical cash and asset to charity and Church except for few stakes in his companies to his wife.Funny enough the boy was their only child

GBAM!!!
The prayer is to never see such
Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Jerry602(m): 4:20pm On Jun 17, 2013
ayobase: Its never right, and should never be condoned......it should be stated as crime!

The reason why some children will go astray is always when they are being pushed to the wall against their wills....instead of supporting, the parents tend to dictate over them......
The parents are often always the cause of disowning their children....THEY DEMAND TOO MUCH!

Disown?
So, u wanna say u don't OWN YOUR child again....Foolish, barbaric and godless act!

It reminds of a case of Pastor's daughter in Ibadan........make we leave tori for another day!

Even Baba God for heaven wouldn't disown despite all our sins and sins......if I were Jesus, I wouldn't have died for mankind. Imagine, they preferred that thief and murderer to Jesus that meant no harm!

As far as I'm concerned, there is difference between disowning and parking aside!

To crown it up, he/she that disowns should forget about making heaven....SIMPLE!
tank God u'r nt jesus n u can neva b. All dsame u stil ve a point.

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