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The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? (48533 Views)

What's The Biggest Lie Your EX Ever Told You / Ladies: What Is The Greatest Lie A Guy Has Ever Told You? / What Is The Dumbest Lie Your Ex Ever Told You? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 6:53pm On Jul 02, 2013
she called me n said we cant continue with our relationship anymore b'cos of distance ...dat she is nw in russia studying medicine....alas after d call I took a look @ her number ....it started with 062....hehehe kaduna don turn russia abi

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by ehiblessing(f): 6:57pm On Jul 02, 2013
Hmmm it was a big lie I went to his hux on d bathroom I saw a girls panties and he told me it was 4 him, he was just too concincing dat he even tried it on himself dat I started doubting if it was reall a girks panties

13 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Ekeretom4(m): 7:01pm On Jul 02, 2013
[color=#000099][/color] When with her on bed, she told me to please be gentle with her .......why?... she told me it's been long she had sex........fast forward to 2 days, I found out she was having an affair with her neighbor 4 five months. .
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by jovie50: 7:01pm On Jul 02, 2013
Pls help me click LIKE for no particular reason.

68 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by purplekayc(m): 7:02pm On Jul 02, 2013
I have never partied in my life but I go to occasions.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by emmanuel4758(m): 7:05pm On Jul 02, 2013
hi nadia ?hey emmanuel .nadia where ar u from ?am frm s.a.which part ?cape town .wow nice one u luk so sweet in u pix?thank u . I ga enyem ukwu nwere nti make i jolly ? Lol iga eburikwa.i den bust out lafin like mad man on the street start tinkin dis girl hear igbo ,speak igbo, and even write igbo ,but claim to be frm s.a .oboi girls can lie ehh .but i outsmart her lol .no be n.land nadia na anoda nadia in capetown lol.

3 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by EdidemOluomo: 7:09pm On Jul 02, 2013
demelza:
Read my post again, I said I dint date him. An Omo Ogun is not so easily fooled. He was one sweet maga tho




Naha ke ? He has and he could spend it nii.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by myvic70(m): 7:10pm On Jul 02, 2013
My ex told me the very first day we did.....that am the one that disvirgined her, when the hole was already there.
I just develop hatred for her since that day.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:12pm On Jul 02, 2013
Diarogba: My ex...
Me: Are you a virgin sweethrt?
Girl: Yes dear... MY hole is still tight... And bloody
(During sex).........
Me: But sweethrt , ur hole is big..and blood never came out..
Girl: Yes...i used my finger to tear it out b4 we started
Lies!!!!! Lies!!! Lies!
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
cheesy cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by valicious1(m): 7:13pm On Jul 02, 2013
My babe de scatta me wit lie evriday. my name and ha papa na d only guys name wey dey ha phone others na girls and unsaved numbas yet she de make and receive calls from guys without asking who de pesin be. Sumtimes i wonda if she de use jazz abi she be winch

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by yamunla(m): 7:14pm On Jul 02, 2013
She dey always claim say na Once dem F*ck her b4 we Jam..
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Tomeseen(f): 7:14pm On Jul 02, 2013
personlly told some interesting lies and been told some in return, but the most ridiculous lie i've ever heard was from a 'galfriend'. happened long time ago when i was in ss3. noticed this ss1 girl following me around and b4 long noticed she was interested in a male friend of mine which would account for the tag and follow routine she was doing with me. went to this guy's place one blessed day like that and met her there and that very silly sixth sense that says somethings not right told me something very funny went down. asked the guy whatsup, he told me shut up!.

cornered the girl in school and was trying this big sister thingy 'that she should be careful with this friend of mine since he is a very matured guy, 7yrs older than myself as at then and the sex bit where a girl should be careful, bla bla bla'. to which she replied and told me that i shouldn't be bothered becos she already told brother 'so' when he said they should have sex that he cannot deflower her because her alfa fiance did a strong jazz on the punany and no matter how many times my friend do the deed, she will still remain a virgin. shocked shocked shocked to say that i was scandalized was saying a lot, i asked her 'so how many times did brother 'so' do it?'. plenty plenty times she repiled and brother 'so' thingy meets the hymen each time she finished. went back to my friend and was about beerating him for taking advantage of an innocent girl when he replied to me that, for starters she wasnt even a virgin to begin with and in all her narration was there any part where she said she was raped.
at which point me sef close my mouth, abi which one kon be my own for the matter tru tru.

3 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Orikinla(m): 7:15pm On Jul 02, 2013
That her mother gave her N18, 000 for abortion.

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by purplekayc(m): 7:19pm On Jul 02, 2013
lynpetra: Me:Honey did you miss my punnany
Bobo:yea,I do
Me:so who did you fuuuuuck after we part ways?? angry
Bobo:Nobody sad
Me:NobodySo you mean say for three months u noo kpoki? shocked And you didn't masturbate undecided undecided
Bobo:I[b] NEVER masturbate grin grin[/b][i][/i] ,so baby did you.....

Me: you definitely know the answer to that question! lipsrsealed cry
lolz
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:19pm On Jul 02, 2013
My ex said I disvirgined her when I was sure there was no blood and no serious cry. Guess the next lie, she said the blood later came out undecided (true story, no jokes) I immediately dropped my marriage agenda sad

6 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by InvertedHammer: 7:20pm On Jul 02, 2013
This girl had so many suitors cos she fine die.

Each time she set her young sister up to be crying when each of them (me inclusive) arrives.

If you ask the small girl, she would tell you that she lost her dad's money ( N2000) and that her dad would skin her alive.

To claim big boy, guys dey pay.

Na the mechanic wey dey in front of their house told me it was all "game" after I don pay finish. Chei!

Long story short, I left the hustler alone and counted the N2k as cost of doing business.

11 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by OluwaKoopa(m): 7:26pm On Jul 02, 2013
Idi Amin: My ex said I disvirgined her when I was sure there was no blood and no serious cry. Guess the next lie, she said the blood later came out undecided (true story, no jokes) I immediately dropped my marriage agenda sad

ROTFLMAO!!!
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by RazziP(m): 7:28pm On Jul 02, 2013
She said she lives in VI
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:28pm On Jul 02, 2013
I travelled and came back only to see another female shoes by the door. the coversation ensued:

me: honey, who owns this pair of female shoes outside?
him: are they not your shoes?
me: I wear size 42 ,but this pair of shoes are size 38.
me: so na who come get am na?
what followed next is another story for another day. angry

6 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:34pm On Jul 02, 2013
"chilling with my besties"...smh

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:35pm On Jul 02, 2013
berem: I travelled and came back only to see another female shoes by the door. the coversation ensued:

me: honey, who owns this pair of female shoes outside?
him: are they not your shoes?
me: I wear size 42 ,but this pair of shoes are size 38.
me: so na who come get am na?
what followed next is another story for another day. angry
Am sure you received holy communion ie military slaps afterwards for asking too many questions grin

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by jessyrichy(f): 7:37pm On Jul 02, 2013
lol
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by eagleeye2: 7:38pm On Jul 02, 2013
InvertedHammer: This girl had so many suitors cos she fine die.

Each time she set her young sister up to be crying when each of them (me inclusive) arrives.

If you ask the small girl, she would tell you that she lost her dad's money ( N2000) and that her dad would skin her alive.

To claim big boy, guys dey pay.

Na the mechanic wey dey in front of their house told me it was all "game" after I don pay finish. Chei!

Long story short, I left the hustler alone and counted the N2k as cost of doing business.


Lmao..... omo see business strategy.

2 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:38pm On Jul 02, 2013
Idi Amin: Am sure you received holy communion ie military slaps afterwards for asking too many questions grin
im dey craze? when i starved him of sexx for one week, nobody tell am say make im apologize .Inshort, im go buy 3 different pairs of shoes for me. I dey fear pesin? mtscheew! undecided

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:43pm On Jul 02, 2013
berem: im dey craze? when i starved him of sexx for one week, nobody tell am say make im apologize .Inshort, im go buy 3 different pairs of shoes for me. I dey fear pesin? mtscheew! undecided
U starved him and he begin jones? Come, e be lyk u get gold 4 dia.grin
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by sakaguchi(m): 7:46pm On Jul 02, 2013
berem: im dey craze? when i starved him of sexx for one week, nobody tell am say make im apologize .Inshort, im go buy 3 different pairs of shoes for me. I dey fear pesin? mtscheew! undecided
You starved him of sex or both of you were starved of sex?

14 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by lolaluv1(f): 7:56pm On Jul 02, 2013
There was this toaster I had back then.

Him: I studied Elect/Elect in Uniport.

Me: I'm a .... from ... University.

*I didn't click with him so I blanked him. Many months later, he still came looking for me*

Him: One of my greatest regrets in life is the fact that I didn't get to study Elect/Elect. I don't want to regret not marrying my dream woman.

Me: undecided

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:56pm On Jul 02, 2013
Idi Amin: U starved him and he begin jones? Come, e be lyk u get gold 4 dia.grin
na you get your mouth. pesin wey dey go dig gold, wetin im be?
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 8:00pm On Jul 02, 2013
Me:i'm proud 2b a virgin...
Distant relationship thingy...She was outa town,i met som fwends wit benefit babes nd we got down.
She:babe ar u stil a virgin?(in my head,see MTH111 question)
Me:yea swiry,jst wana do it wid d right person
,.Fast forward...
Game begin
She:babe go gently its painin me,u knw ur smal joystick is bik
Mesadsurprised)omo wid ds big hole,u stil dy complain?Came quickly nd d relationship is pendin,i wan port sef like saka..
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Ezedon(m): 8:03pm On Jul 02, 2013
"i love you" is d greatest lie she had ever told me

2 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by AbuMikey(m): 8:04pm On Jul 02, 2013
emmanuel4758: hi nadia ?hey emmanuel .nadia where ar u from ?am frm s.a.which part ?cape town .wow nice one u luk so sweet in u pix?thank u . I ga enyem ukwu nwere nti make i jolly ? Lol iga eburikwa.i den bust out lafin like mad man on the street start tinkin dis girl hear igbo ,speak igbo, and even write igbo ,but claim to be frm s.a .oboi girls can lie ehh .but i outsmart her lol .no be n.land nadia na anoda nadia in capetown lol.
You foo..lish Die!!!! Nadia is from S.A!!
Her husband is an Ibo guy [Ikechukwu] and She sure knows how to speak and write Ibo!!! And finally she is actually from Cape Town! I have her on my BBM!! So speak what you know sir!!!

7 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Mfonbah(m): 8:04pm On Jul 02, 2013
drnairalov: EX_ i wud be travelling to abuja 2day to get some things frm ma uncle.send me like 6k..went to her school d nextday 4 sumthings, suprisingly saw her coming frm a rangerover sport. while me waz driving in2 d skul in ma small ride,

me- who is dat??
she - (shocked) aww sweerie what u doing here?? anywayz dats ma dad, ddnt know he waz coming to see me self
me - *giggles Oh!! really, thought u said u were goin to Abj yesterday
She-err! i changed ma mind dear...we had an important test this morning!!!


tho havent seen d fada bfo but chick forgot she told me her father waz a non teaching staff in U.I

i collected ma transport moni nd broke up sha...it still hurts *end of story

*morals of d story all dem uncles gals say dey ve, re probably secret lovers
thank God u collected ur money back...smart of u!

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