991: watching tv program while a housemaid is inside ur bedroom?? SMH for ur uncle.

KINGwax: u av not really said anything! If u av a point, make it known!

Smartie gurl: To me, is quite wrong for a woman to allow that in her house ......but in some cases where the woman is always busy with work and stuffs like that, permit me to say that it is a little bit understandable.

Smartie gurl: To me, is quite wrong for a woman to allow that in her house ......but in some cases where the woman is always busy with work and stuffs like that, permit me to say that it is a little bit understandable.

Shakslayer:

My sentiments exactly! I asked him if the maid cooks for them too, he said hell NO! So if u won't allow her cook, why let her into ur private room?

991:

seemingly the woman was watching a tv program? SMH again.

modele2: @poster so madam should dress it abi....i hope you would assist her some times..always looking for more work for the woman as if what they have on their plate is not enough.

As some people have cited. to each its own, everyones orientation and marriage blueprint is different. Besides it also depends on your living quaters e.g room and parlour e.t.c:DAnd i am most certain that unless through diabolic means that someone cleans your room dosent make the person a husband snatcher candidate

That said..I personally dont allow ANYONE into my bedroom. I clean, make bed and even do the bathroom my self, simply because i feel it is an invasion of my sanctuary, its a form of exercise and i dont think anyone can do it as well as i would. thats all.

Shakslayer:
As a young man who is trying to learn the basics and nitty-gritty of marriage before I jump into that ship, I have found this forum to be immensely helpful in this regard.

As part of my vacation traveling, I went visiting my big uncle and his wife who live in Calabar, last week. While we (my uncle, his wife and kids), were in the living room watching a tv program, the housemaid was in their bedroom, cleaning and dressing the bed. I asked my uncle why is that, and he replied that there's really nothing to it.

But am not comfy with that, so am asking, should a housemaid clean the couple's bedroom and dress the bed in their absence?

Smartie gurl: in this case, the woman is wrong and busy lazying about!!

Shakslayer:

You sound very confused. Am sorry to say!

Smartie gurl: Exactly my thought!!

Shakslayer:
As a young man who is trying to learn the basics and nitty-gritty of marriage before I jump into that ship, I have found this forum to be immensely helpful in this regard.

Ngenge: In my own opinion,dis scenario shuld occur if d couple ar 60yrs & above or d wife is not fit medically. U peopl ar talking about dressing nd cleaning d couple's room but I've seen worst cases wia d wife's only duty is to abuse,shout,insult,go to work,partying,brush teeth,eat nd bath. Maids sweeps all d 3 rooms & parlour[it can take u up to 2 hours or more to sweep her room and arrange it],wash her undies and clothes,wash d hubby's own,iron d undies and clothes,make d bed,cuk 4 d house,wash d kids clothes(aged 13,11 and 5 as at 2008),wash cars,mop d kitchen nd toilet,polish shoes,cut grasses around d house. These peopl ar not paid but lives wit them. I've known this lady 4 up to 13yrs now but i can tel u dat i've not seen her cuk up to 10 times. Incredible? I'm a witness.

Efemena_xy:

It's incredible that you expect the wife to do all of the chores you listed.

Why should she? The man nko?

Sure, shouting and raining abuses on people is wrong, so is underpaying them. But that aside, if she does go to work then cut her some slack.

Ngenge:

If a lady dat is not up to 40yrs cannot wash her undies and her hubby's own cloth 4m d day she married,wen wil she do it? U rely on maids nd sista inlaws to cuk ? If she prepares breakfast,she wil be doing dat til 12pm? Anyday she washes even her undies,she wil be teling evry1 dat she has been too busy as an excuse for failing to keep up to an appointment and u ar backing her attitude?

Ngenge:
** sweeps all d 3 rooms & parlour
** wash her undies and clothes (you seem particularly interested in her undies? )
** wash d hubby's own
** iron d undies and clothes
** make d bed
** cuk 4 d house
** wash d kids clothes(aged 13,11 and 5 as at 2008)
** wash cars
** mop d kitchen nd toilet
** polish shoes
** cut grasses around d house. (Really? I mean, really??)

Efemena_xy:

What makes you think I'm backing her 'attitude'?

I asked you a question: Do you expect a working woman to do all of the tasks you've just listed alone and without help?



And ontop of all that, she's expected to go out and work? Pls kindly tell me what the husband should be doing while she does all of that ALONE. Watching the latest premiership football match with an ice cold beer in his hands, while he develops a pot belly? Or even the kids? Don't you think they're old enough (now at 18, 16 and 10 years of age) to get off their backsides and get involved in looking after their home? This is basic Home Management Skills 101.

Pls get real. In this day and age, no one has to kill themselves with housework to prove a thing! If she can afford hired help, then why not? Must she bend over an iron bucket and a bar of Canoe soap to prove she knows how to wash clothes? There are such things as washing machines, dishwashers, tumble dryers, hoovers, lawn mowers, etc that can be purchased to make light of housework. It wouldn't make her any less of a woman.

You said she works. What are her working hours like on a typical day?? I'll repeat the last sentence of my previous post...Cut her some slack! No one was born to be a slave donkey to another all for the sake of marriage.

bettymafy:

Ah Efe, you have stayed abroad for too long. U need to visit Nigeria more often. Most Nigerian wives are expected to do the above listed chores with little or no help whether or not you are a full time workers with 8-6pm jobs, else, u will be seen as lazy.

Some years ago, househelps were trending, but these days, people are wary of hiring them for security reasons, so the wife is stuck with those chores and even more with little or no help from hubby. Did I hear u say "dish washers, washing machine, lawn mowers"? How many families can afford these in Nigeria?

All hubby does is wake up in the morning, take his bath, eat his BF, grab his lunch already packed in a lunch box by wifey and off to work. Comes back, take dinner, watch CNN and goes to bed by 10pm while wifey is saddled with running of the home

My dear, that is the story of many Nigerian wives.

Ngenge: Bettymafy and Efemena_xy,thank u 4 ur contributions. D kids dat i mentioned b4 ar 18,16 and 9yrs/9months nw nd they ar all boys. D clothes of d last two boys ar stil being washed nd ironed by maids. D first boy knw hw to cuk noodles nd hot water. I knw dat its not expected of d lady to do all d house chores listed above but Y is she afraid,sceptical nd shy of cuking 4 d family? I'VE LIVED WIT THEM FOR 4YRS and oda times i visits nd go but she have not cooked up to 10 times in 13 yrs in her matrimonial home. Initially,she does nt work but now,an accountant in a hospital. Works 4m 8am to 4pm monday to FRIDAY. Her case worse i beg