Thanks for your time. Cya

what then is the need to get joined wt ur hubby as one and his help MEET,if u still carry ur father's name.Lets be cautios of absorbing the goods n bads of this Western life.Little wonder families easily tear apart these days,because of no true identity.I love my wife beyond words n respect womenfolk alot,but that gives no room for compromise.QED.The Bible remans d final word for evry issue of life.

Thanks you ooO. I made the same point and a wing switcher called me a fool for saying it for that he will not have enemies among people on NL. You guys living in the western world. try ask some elderly men who know how the real world looks like and hear what they have to say about this. You will find out that while the media is feeding us with unread facts something else is happening in the real world.

DJA:

what then is the need to get joined wt your hubby as one and his help MEET,if u still carry your father's name.Lets be cautios of absorbing the goods n bads of this Western life.Little wonder families easily tear apart these days,because of no true identity.I love my wife beyond words n respect womenfolk alot,but that gives no room for compromise.QED.The Bible remans d final word for evry issue of life.

@DJA and excoba101 you guys need to send me a quote from the bible that says the surname is the glue of the marriage.

Study Ephesians 5 and you will see dat its d woman dat submits(which includes accepting his identity as yours)to d man,while the man is obliged to love his wife.Marriage is complete separation from both parents authority to accepting that of the head of d new union.

Madam i never said i was a bible expert. I only said when we discuss issues like this we readily make a pointer to the bible for the fact that it is the oldest living record of human existence. I also made references from nature/science as a realist.

In as much as i have to post my comments here which counters your believe doesn't mean that everybody will take it. But the point remains that as long as there will be your kind, there will also be my kind. And the war will never ever end, if it ever ends i believe it means everybody but a few would have realized that one side is right.

But i am sure that there are many examples in the bible. You make a research if you are so willing to know the truth about this.

DJA:

Study Ephesians 5 and you will see dat its d woman dat submits(which includes accepting his identity as yours)to d man,while the man is obliged to love his wife.Marriage is complete separation from both parents authority to accepting that of the head of d new union.

Are we talking about the same bible that said the human folk should not have intimacy before marriage Please look around you before you answer this question.

With that being said I am sure my christian brother's and sisters knows that Gawd will forgive me if I dont take your surname in marriage.

Are we talking about the same bible that said the human folk should not have intimacy before marriage Please around you before you answer this question.

With that being said I am sure my christian brother's and sisters knows that Gawd will forgive me if I dont take your surname in marriage.

You had a ready made answer when you asked me to show you somewhere from bible.     ayaya  But i am not a religious man.

If you are a xstian your excuse above should not be enough reason to go to hell 

muslims are encouraged to retain thier maiden name,because no man can truely be ur father but ur own father,so we dnt live our fathers name at one side all cos we wanna bear hubby family name,muslims are not to call anyone thier father except the own who bore them

excoba101:


You had a ready made answer when you asked me to show you somewhere from bible.     ayaya  But i am not a religious man.

If you are a xstian your excuse above should not be enough reason to go to hell 

I asked for a quote in the bible but somehow I was refered to a whole chapter, now being a diplomat that I am I decided to dismiss the ommission and I obliged. Now having gone through the Chapter I can now safely say thank you sir I dont need your surname. Perhaps you can give to somebody that doesnt have one I am sorted on that front in fact you should consider yourself lucky that I come with a surname.

What a full package I am hey! stress free   

I am loving Ephesians 5 good news indeed.

How about a year contract. Stress free, No cheating.  50% 50%      This would be a full packaged DEAL. I bet. JK

excoba101:

How about a year contract. Stress free, No cheating. 50% 50% This would be a full packaged DEAL. I bet. JK

Fair deal, wrong girl. You missed the part about ABSOLUTE LOVE, 100%

I tried inviting LOVE, it wont come if i don't send 50% 50% contract its enemy away first. I 'm so frustrated.

excoba101:


I tried inviting LOVE, it wont come if i don't send 50% 50% contract its enemy away first. I 'm so frustrated.

I think you've been doing the same mistake that most men keep doing over and over. This thing requires you to think like somebody who wants to build an empire. Step 1 think vision, step 2 is strategy step 3 is mission, step 4 is execution. Most importantly VISION without that this ship wont float let alone sail.

So for home work go work on the vision.

Same to you teacher SA LADY.

^^^Somebody had to rip that title away from you I mean Epesians 5 unless the plan is to sink this ship.

Talking about ships*** I have a wider knowledge about how to captain a ship, appoint my crew members and coordinate all other non crew members on board. Trust me.
I spent almost five years on that course at the Uni

@souljagirl


Did your mother keep her last name? Do you answer her maiden name as your last name?
Did you contest that with your Dad,that you wish to keep your mum's maiden name?
I guess you are not married with kids . or Are you?

stranger26:

Oh my God! This is unbelievable! Why should a woman take her husband's name? I don't even get it! I have my own surname and it's not like I'm property that is transferred from my father's ownership to my husband's. I'm a human with my own lineage, with my own parents and grandparents. My name shall stay the same from birth till death. I won't even combine my name with his. I have a surname and he has his own. If I have daughters, they must maintain their father's name too.

Its pure and utter nonsense to make such a big deal about a name. A woman's name has no impact on her readiness for marriage. Excuse me, o, for being grateful to my dad for all he has done. If a guy isn't happy with that, he can get lost. Only a petty person would be hung up on such a trivial issue; in fact, that alone would tell me a lot about his character.

I'm not going to take on someone else's name just because I marry him.


Wonderful.so marriage is 'just' a thing.
i think perhaps the problem is that we r attatching so much importance to ordinary marriage.



If the man had met me in rags, uneducated, uncouth and unmannerly, would he have felt the same attraction to me?


Hw can u be accusing the husband who you have not even met and who has not even proposed marriage of being an opportunist?u r already accusing him of selfishness and self-seeking even before youve met him...if u r already this much prejudiced against him i think not even his taking up your own name can save the marriage...the seed for the failure of the marriage has already been planted...
And unfortunately this is d attitude of most girls on this thread to marriage...



My father fed me, took care of me, paid my fees and everything so should I renounce him for a man that wants me only because of all the work this father of mine has done for me?


The best way to be grateful to your dad is to hv a marria ge as good as his,thats if his marriage was great.water doesnt flow backwards.by taking care of u he has done a job and his employer the almighty will pay him his wages.u r not an advertising agent for him.nd if u ladies to start keeping baggages from ur father's house then well start redefining wat marriage should be.u talk like the product of a single parent.u r very quick to shout get lost.but b very careful or it will become athe staple word of ur vocabulary.a woman who is already arguing about equality from the doorstep is not worth the effort...

[quote author=exu]why did you say it's their father's surname- it's their surname, the one that they have





a lady that insists on keeping her maiden name after marriage for no congent reason is actually already getting ready for divorce.

Shinatu: Going through this thread some thoughts come to my mind.

In this part of the world (that's the only sector of the globe I know very well)

Must a man exercise his 'authority' before he becomes a man?
Must there be a woman to 'control' or lord things over before a man feels like a man?

Why cant a man just be a man and be satisfied with and enjoy being a man without having to control a memeber of the 'weaker sex' to be a man?

because such people do not know what being a man, means.

A word of advice to everyone:Before discussing a thread like this its best to know the background of people participating in the debate.something tells me that many girls arguing here are products of a broken home,a divorcee parent or an absentee parent.it takes a medical doctor to produce a medical doctor and an engineer to produce an engineer...a broken home will always tend to produce its kind...I wouldnt want to discuss the issue of pseudo-feminism which the girls here r trying to convert this trend into...the ongoing assault against the change of name practice is actually not an assault against men.it is an assault against women who r married.its actually a women against women war.let me explain.
1.Because of d increasing number of aging spinsters they are actually trying to create a way in which the stigma of ageing spinsterhood will be reduced,there is a desperate attempt to demean the attending dignity that comes with wifehood.The implication is that if they suceed then there is no way of knowing a married and an unmarried woman.These apostles of maiden name retention will now be able to do any of these
1:Lie about their status in areas where they r not known since there is no change of name.
2:Reduce or even eliminate the dignity which clothes a lady when she gets married which these ageing spinsters and divorcees hv always been jealous of and which they hv not been able to attain.Taking on the name of a man has always been a thing of joy and pride for wives,and this trappings of the married woman which divide women from girls is wat they actually want to do away with.The next arguement will be that married women should stop using the title mrs.

3.They clothe their devices in pseudofeminism.They want to strengthen the notion of feminine independence at the expense of devaluing the office of a wife.This is an assault by a group of people on the marriage institution.

Women and potential wives and homemakers should be the ones attacking this conspiracy.Men should only be concerned because it is an attack on the fundamental values of the family as we know it.

For the future homemakers and jewels out there let me elucidate some issues:Change of name during marriage is
1:A symbolic occurence
2:Designed for the benefit of the new bride

n.b.being a nigerian nd a christian their cultural millieu is implied in my discussion.

1.Change of name signifies that not being of the same parents you both still hv the closest relationship any two people should have.minus mr and mrs, both of u r one in name.Bearing different names changes this symbology.the symbolic imagery is degraded.the singularity of the name is like a banner.a banner whether in times of peace or war always sends warning to enemies to keep off ur territory.thats y i said that a woman who starts to assert her independence from the door step is already preparing for divorce.
2.If any ritual does not involve a definitive change in perception,then the importance of that ritual cannever imprint itself effectively on the consciousness of the participants.Change of name is supposed to imprint on the mind of the bride the enormity of her decision and to establish that intensity of feeling which she can always relive in nostalgia.this creates in her the feeling not only of having performed a rite of passage but gives her pride in being a member of the marriage institution.this is very necessary both for the marriage institution and for the self awareness of the bride.
3.Change of name signifies submission.but what actually is the lady submitting to?Is she submitting to the authority of the man?to masochism?to abuse?none of these and ill tell u what she is submitting to.she is submitting herself symbollically to the love,care and protection of her husband.

4.Change of name distinguishes the bride from the spinsters.Difference engenders hate.A lady will hate another lady for hving a mere handbag which she does not hv.hw much more then will she envy and possibly hate another lady for possessing an epithet which by large in her immediate society symbolizes superiority(in this case the nigerian society?).This is the war they are fighting.To demolish the gap between wives and spinsters.

^^^ Okay now what??

I don hear new one Medical doc procreate Surgeon

Hai! NL I don hear wen!

jidegirl12: ^^^ Okay now what??

I don hear new one Medical doc procreate Surgeon

Hai! NL I don hear wen!

So procreation is the only kind of production there is?When you produce akara from beans,or palm oil from palm fruits,is that procreation?I am talking of academic production.When i say that a medical doctor produces a medical doctor i mean that u can only teach wat u hv.can a medical doctor teach in the faculty of engineering?or can a lawyer teach in the faculty of medicine?it takes a medical doctor to produce a medical doctor.everthing produces its kind...

originbm:





So procreation is the only kind of production there is?When you produce akara from beans,or palm oil from palm fruits,is that procreation? I am talking of academic production.


When i say that a medical doctor produces a medical doctor i mean that u can only teach wat u hv.can a medical doctor teach in the faculty of engineering?or can a lawyer teach in the faculty of medicine?it takes a medical doctor to produce a medical doctor.everthing produces its kind

...

Menh ....What correlation has that ^^ côćk of bull assertions got to do with this Topic for crying out loud?

Oh jeez I'm exhausted mtcheww.

So let even try and relate this to the Topic, ( which still doesn't make any sense) .... Sooo *sigh* Divorcees are complete brain dead bout child raring that they have no morals and values to teach their offsprings because they failed ONLY in their marriage??

how old are you??

I've got my hands full already Abeg...vamoose joor .

By the way I noticed your moniker, nice try.

plappville:

This is not all about wealth, it is done all over the world, unlike me i kept my dad's name together with hubby's name, there is no need changing ur informationg completely as ur previews name still persist in all ur document.

what happens when u devoice?? u will have to change informations again from hubby name to surname. no one will ever call u mrs by ur surname but mrs by ur hubby's name.

On like where i live, they automatically keep ur surname in ur identity card as (((name of birth and hubby's name as mariter name)))) i think is really the best.

I rest my case

Menh ....What correlation has that ^^ côćk of bull assertions got to do with this Topic for crying out loud?

Oh jeez I'm exhausted mtcheww.

So let even try and relate this to the Topic, ( which still doesn't make any sense) .... Sooo *sigh* Divorcees are complete brain dead bout child raring that they have no morals and values to teach their offsprings because they failed ONLY in their marriage??

how old are you??

I've got my hands full already Abeg...vamoose joor .

By the way I noticed your moniker, nice try.







U r arguing ad hominem.I dont blame u for not understanding the arguement...but let me give u an advice:it is always better to keep quiet and let others think that u know a particular thing than to open your mouth and remove every doubt about your ignorance...i like your fervour and look forward to dicussing with u on other threads.and the correct expression is c^oc^k -and-bull not c^oc^k of bull.i don vamoose joor...

If discussing this was too archaic for 2008, I wonder what cave/village the people having problems with it in 2013 came from.


Weaklings calling themselves men over something very trivial. I pity them wives.

mr orgrinbm

what you and your co-conspirators are failing to acknowledge due to your bullheadedness and over eagerness to bully others, is :

1. 90 to 98% of ladies take on their husband's name when they marry. So you are giving yourself hypertension over something that doesnt concern you.

2. a woman automatically takes on her husband's name when she marries him. This is expressly implied, as in it is assumed by all who know of the wedding and/or marital status, that she now takes on another name in addition to the one she had before.

Did you perhaps call someone by her married name and received a thorough beating in return? Thats the only thing that would explain your aggression over this matter, imo.

Originbm?(I hope I got that right)

I have no idea what you wrote up there... Cant you quote a post again? Jeez

Anyways, you condemned people from broken homes , compared their Divorced parents to professors in different field with absolutely little or NO knowledge bout another field. BUT in contrary to your stûpid assertions, parents who stay together will have all the tools and knowledge to teach their kids ''how to NOT'' keep their maiden name

I understand you're trying very hard to make a point but that côćk of bull assertions just glitched-up everything you piled up there. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

Divorcees raise well rounded kids too just like parents who stayed together. Keeping your maiden name is just another life choices solely made by oneself, leave the parents out of it... Stop bullying to make a point.

As for making changes to my expression, You're very rude I must say, nobody corrects me

I'm so done with you.

jidegirl12: Originbm?(I hope I got that right)

I have no idea what you wrote up there... Cant you quote a post again? Jeez



I understand you're trying very hard to make a point but that côćk of bull assertions just glitched-up everything you piled up there. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

Divorcees raise well rounded kids too just like parents who stayed together. Keeping your maiden name is just another life choices solely made by oneself, leave the parents out of it... Stop bullying to make a point.

As for making changes to my expression, You're very rude I must say, nobody corrects me
I'm so done with you.

Anyways, you condemned people from broken homes , compared their Divorced parents to professors in different field with absolutely little or NO knowledge bout another field. BUT in contrary to your stûpid assertions, parents who stay together will have all the tools and knowledge to teach their kids ''how to NOT'' keep their maiden name









I give up...i could start discussing the forces that shape the mind and percption of a child and give u a logical model of wat is expected from a divorcee kid and how he or she will differ from a kid that grew up in a family...but i dont think u would understand me also.....but just a little rejoinder :the choices that a man or lady would make 2moro would always indicate the values of his or her upbringing...just like the quality of any student would automatically indicate the quality of the academic background that shaped her or him...so u cant take parents out of the issue...and an analogy is like an extended metaphor...for u to understand the usage u must first of all understand the point...

y dont u try organizing ur thoughts better...it takesa little practice to attain...but u could learn it and our discussions would be richer for it.the first rule is to make sure u understand a point and its context before u respond so as to give an intelligent answer.

I didnt mean to be rude wen i corrected ur expression,sorry if i came across as that.nd i dint mean to correct u either.i just added the rejoinder by way of light comic relief.thats y i added d face.this is just a discussion not a war...


And by the way even if it was, no man has ever won a war against women.and i dont intend to try...

deols: If discussing this was too archaic for 2008, I wonder what cave/village the people having problems with it in 2013 came from.


Weaklings calling themselves men over something very trivial. I pity them wives.

Dismissing every issue with a modernist sneer is a knee-jerk and an infantile reaction to issues.Or are u trying to posit that any development that arises with the passage of time is welcome?Here is the scenario:A wife picks up a decision to initiate a break from the norm for no compelling reason without understanding what the norm represents because she is too mentally lazy to realize that conventions in an institution dont just come out of the blues but r meant to preserve and also nourish the institution and its member.and that unless she is questioning the intrinsic validity and the conventions of the institution ,the standards should be maintained.the husband who is actually as intellectually vapid as the wife can then only do either of two things then;either he resorts to the self-serving,knee-jerk masochist attitude of dismissing and even violently opposing the wife's view point,and thereby creating the negative feed back mechanism that accompanies such situation in which the wife feels encouraged in her perversity because she feels she is being unjustly persecuted.(women, being intelligent creature,(to the injury of unintelligent men )would actually hold more tenacoiusly to an issue if they r being dissuaded from it,especially when the man has no superior arguement or notion to the contrary.and its easier to lead than to rule an intelligent person and easier to rule than to lead an ignorant person.)the woman consequently labels his husband a masochist or even a chauvinist weakling for his stance.
Or secondly the man may decide to take the alternate direction of avoiding a grouse and swallowing wat he feels.(i use feel because he does not even understand the issues at hand himself ).When this happens the man is labelled a real man. like the poster above is actually implying.
Now in the both situations both the wife and husband are guilty of crass ignorance.the first situation is perhaps worse because proactivity in ignorance may be more immediately destructive and more demeaning to the agressor.thats y the typical reaction of the woman is always" wat a trivial issue".Docility may buy a little time for the man and is much more appealing to the woman.hence he is labelled as 'the real man'.but both men are united in ignorance.In both situations the husband and wife r to b pitied.
A man must always be equipped with the right knowledge so that he can be able to lead his family well.Where a man is knowledgeable it is easier for him to lead his family.But when a man is ignorant bullying and destructive docility becomes the only option.There are so many deceptive arguements and pseudomodernist notions always peddled in the society (like those on this thread),from the media and everywhere,so much so that an ignorant husband,and by extension ,an ignorant family does not have a chance of survival.(not to even talk of the children who will be even under greater assault since they are in their formative years).
So wen u talk of real men and weaklings i dont even suppose u know wat they mean...