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Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by tbaba1234: 1:51am On Jul 05, 2013
Boy or Girl child, Which is better? - An Islamic Perspective

Part 1


The question is odd and sounds like one from the times of Jahiliyah (Ignorance) but the truth is that many cultures including Muslim cultures across the world feel a male child is better. The Quran criticized this kind of behaviour over a thousand years ago, yet we have Muslims today having this kind of attitude.

I remember a sister once telling me of how her father walked out of the hospital angrily after she was born, He did not visit his wife again until she came home with the baby. He was so upset that his first child was a girl. This ignorance does exist, folks.

The virtues of having sons is completely different from the the virtues of having girls, there are so different that there isn't even a comparison. They are both blessings.

Before going into this in depth, I would like to address an even bigger problem faced by Muslims today.

In Surah Al 'A'raf, Allah says (roughly translated):

It is He who created you all from one soul, and from it made its mate so that he might find comfort in her: when one [of them] lies with his wife and she conceives a light burden, going about freely, then grows heavy, they both pray to God, their Lord, ‘If You give us a good child we shall certainly be grateful,’ and yet when He gives them a good child they ascribe some of what He has granted them to others.

God is far above the partners they set up alongside Him! How can they set up with Him these partners that create nothing and are themselves created, that cannot help them at all, or even help themselves? (Surah 7:189-192)


So what is this talking about? You see, certain segments of the muslim community result to consulting pseudo 'Alfas' to pray for them to have a male child. This 'alfa' gives them an amulet or a portion, something completely against Islam. Then, when Allah grants them a the male child,they give credit to the 'Alfa' or to the Amulet.

If that is not shirk (idolatory), I don't know what is.

Unfortunately this kind of ignorance is HUGE...

Now Muslims, Listen up

1. If you want to ask Allah for a child ask for a righteous child. We should not ask for a boy or girl, pray that Allah gives you the best. The s.ex is up to Allah.

2. If you do have a child, It is not because of some prayers or amulets of some 'alfa.

Life is not in the hands of any human being, your provision does not come from any human being. Once you say, a person did something special and that is why you had a child, THAT IS SHIRK . Attributing harm or benefit to a person, amulet or portion is SHIRK.

You can pretend to be muslim all you want but that is not islam.


DO NOT LOSE YOUR IMAN(FAITH) TO GAIN A CHILD.


Allah says in Surah Ar RA'D:

God knows what every female bears and by how much the wombs fall short (of their time or number) or do exceed.– everything has its measure with Him; (Surah 13: 8 )

Allah knows whatever is in your womb, He knows which child is going exceed its time and the child that is going to come in early. Allah knows. ASK HIM HE KNOWS...

Do not fall for the scam of someone charging you money.

Everything with Allah has its measure and it belongs exclusively to Him not any person.

Now back to the main topic, so if you are a muslim, still thinking that boys are better, listen to this:

In Surah Al Layl, Allah makes an oath by the awesome power of creation of both the male and the female (ayah 3). In that ayah, Allah is saying that one of the manifestations of His awesome power is that He created the boy and the girl.

So how can we complain about a girl

Also in Surah Ash shuraa, Allah says:

God has control of the heavens and the earth; He creates whatever He will– He grants a gift of female offspring to whoever He will, male to whoever He will, or both male and female, and He makes whoever He will barren: He is all knowing and all powerful (Surah 42:49-50)

Replay, muslims: He creates whatever He will...

You say: I want a boy or I want a girl...

Allah says : He creates whatever He will...

He grants the gift of a girl to whoever He wants and the gift of a boy to whoever He wants.

Both Allah called a gift.. So If you frown because you have been gifted with a gift of a girl, YOU ARE DISREGARDING A GIFT FROM ALLAH. You are ungrateful.

Allah says there are some He gives girls, some He gives boys, some He gives boys and girls and there are some that He does not give children.

He is all knowing and all powerful

Again, He knows.

5 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by tbaba1234: 3:35am On Jul 05, 2013
Boy or Girl child, Which is better? - An Islamic Perspective

Part 2


This subject is discussed in many places in the Quran, boys vs girls. It remains a problem up till this day. Allah knows the problems that would remain with us.

There are some sociological reasons why some cultures prefer boys
i.boys make you money,
ii. boys are going to remain in the family,
iii. When a boy gets married, you gain someone in your family but when a girl gets married you lose someone. etc

In the times of Ignorance (pre Islamic era), the Arabs preferred boys to girls, It was their pride to have boys but they gave to Allah the attribute of having daughters. They gave what they did not like to have to Allah.

Allah talks about this in Surah Isra:

What? Has your Lord favoured you people with sons and taken daughters for Himself from the angels? What a monstrous thing for you to say! (Surah 17:40)

The pagan arabs had contempt for daughters but they attributed what they had contempt for to Allah. They attributed sons to themselves.

Now let's understand the principle here..

There's a child you like so you put him in best schools in the world but the child you do not really like, you make him an hafidh of Quran. The child you like, you give to yourself. The child you don't like, you give to Allah. The mentality is the same.

You may not be calling angels, daughters of Allah but the psychological disease is still there.

Allah describes their countenance when they receive the news of a girl child in Surah An Nahl:

They assign daughters to God ––may He be exalted!––and the [sons] they desire to themselves. When one of them is given news of the birth of a baby girl, his face darkens and he is filled with gloom. In his shame he hides himself away from his people because of the bad news he has been given.Should he keep her and suffer contempt or bury her in the dust? How ill they judge! (Surah 16:57-59)

Now imagine, the father is in the waiting room and the nurse comes and gives him the news of a girl child. Allah describes his reaction. Allah says that his face darkens, the smile disappears, he looks depressed, filled with gloom.

Allah gave a whole ayah to that look. So if you make that face when you are gifted with a girl, know that it is recorded in the Quran. That is how offensive that face is to Allah.

He avoids people, He hides himself in shame contemplating what he will do with the baby girl. Should he hold on to the new child despite the embarrassment or should he bury the child alive.

The arabs had two practises with baby girls,

i. They bury them alive. This is mentioned in the Quran.

ii. They would build another tent for the wife who gave birth to a girl and they would never talk to her again. They will still provide for her, though. This was the humane option for them

Holding on to the child in spite of the embarrassment often meant that the woman and her child are abandoned and never spoken to again just because she gave birth to a girl.

Allah ends the ayah with the statement: How ill they judge!

This crime is so offensive to Allah, that in ayah 61 of the same conversation,

Allah says:

If God took people to task for the evil they do, He would not leave one living creature on earth, but He reprieves them until an appointed time: when their time comes they cannot delay it for a moment nor can they bring it forward(Surah 16:61)

Just after this discussion on this attitude, Allah makes this statement showing His anger at this attitude about daughters not been good enough. If he put people to task for the evil they do, there would not be a single living creature on the earth but their deadline is extended and when it comes... No one can change it.

So what was their Justification??

Allah says in Surah Zukruf:

When one of them is given news of the birth of a daughter, such as he so readily ascribes to the Lord of Mercy, his face grows dark and he is filled with gloom– ‘Someone who is brought up amongst trinkets, who cannot put
together a clear argument?
(Surah 43: 17-18)


Here, Allah captures the thought of this ignorant person on why a girl is not good enough.

So he thinks: ' The one who is going to be raised putting on trinkets and jewelry, and the one who can't argue or get aggressive like boys can when putting forth an argument??

Boys are tough and would carry a sword, they don't play with trinkets.. Boy yell back if yelled at...'

This is the kind of ignorance facing even muslims today

So what are the benefits of having daughters Islamically?

4 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by tbaba1234: 3:55am On Jul 05, 2013
Benefits of daughters

There are a number of hadiths in which the messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) takes about the benefits of having female children:

The Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu 'ayahi wa sallam, said:

"Whoever has three daughters whom he provides shelter for, supports and marries off, Paradise becomes absolutely binding for him." It was said, 'What if they are two (daughters)?' The Prophet said, "Even if it's two." (Ahmad, Bukhari)

The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said:

"Whoever supports (i.e. raises) two girls until they reach adolescence (and get married), he will come on the Day of Judgment (like this) - him and I," and he interlaced his fingers. (Muslim, Tirmidi)


“Whoever has three daughters or sisters, or two daughters of two sisters, and lives along with them in a good manner, and has patience with them, and fears Allah with regard to them will enter Paradise.” (Reported by Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhee and others)

Giving our girl children the best education and the best care. Raising our girl children right is our ticket to Jannah such that you will have close proximity with the messenger. SubhanAllah.

The Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, was also reported to have said:

"Whoever has a female (daughter) and doesn't bury her alive nor scorn her nor give preference to his male child over her, Allah will admit him to Paradise." (Abu Dawood)

This care also involves not giving preference to your male child over your female children. SubhanAllah.


Hopefully this helps to cure a little bit of the ignorance out there.


May Allah forgive us and guide us.

Ameen

Assalamu aleikum

7 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by lanrexlan(m): 6:48am On Jul 05, 2013
Masha allahu Brother,may Allah reward you for this.This reminds of the story of the family of Imran,when his wife was pregnant and dedicated the child in her womb to Allah's services(free from worldly activities)[surah Al-Imran 3;35].But when she gave birth,it was a female and she was expecting a male.Allah accepted her invocation and made her daughter[Mary(pbuh)] and her offspring[Jesus(pbuh)]as a sign For the whole of humanity.Verily,Allah knows and we know not.....Peace

8 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by maclatunji: 9:20am On Jul 05, 2013
A very nice topic.
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by sino(m): 9:54am On Jul 05, 2013
Jazakumullahu khayran bro, i was having serious issues thinking of my future children in sha Allah, how to raise them up Islamically and i tell you, female children gave me the creeps....

Alhamdulilah, they are gifts from Allah, and nothing good comes easy.

Did you say paradise? Nna make i start to they call myself Abu-l- Banaat cool

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by tpia5: 1:30pm On Jul 05, 2013
Why should female children give you the creeps?

2 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Nobody: 1:42pm On Jul 05, 2013
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
You need to see the sentence in red up there in the posting arena. WTH



Back to the issue on ground, I didn't read all of that but child is child. There's nothing like better. Isn't it discrimination to say one is better than the other Last I checked, I think Allah still condemns discrimination, correct me if I'm wrong.
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by otijah(m): 1:45pm On Jul 05, 2013
alutacontinua: grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
You need to see the sentence in red up there in the posting arena. WTH



Back to the issue on ground, I didn't read all of that but child is child. There's nothing like better. Isn't it discrimination to say one is better than the other Last I checked, I think Allah still condemns discrimination, correct me if I'm wrong.
u ar nt wronged, so carry on...........
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Bobbystanley(m): 1:45pm On Jul 05, 2013
An Ibo man like me is ready to do anything to have a male child..female children are not regarded as members of the family because they will marry elsewhere..
Who will inherit my Landed properties and wealth if I don't have a male child?
My enemies will eat the fruit of my labour?(Tufiakwa)
AHAMEFUNA
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Lakayanah: 1:48pm On Jul 05, 2013
Female children are very useful they bring in good bride price. While most male child become nuisance by going about begging and trouble shooting.

2 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Lilimax(f): 1:50pm On Jul 05, 2013
Bobbystanley: An Ibo man like me is ready to do anything to have a male child..female children are not regarded as members of the family because they will marry elsewhere..
Who will inherit my Landed properties and wealth if I don't have a male child?
My enemies will eat the fruit of my labour?(Tufiakwa)
AHAMEFUNA
Old school mentality ...no longer acceptable in this 21st century.
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by MrScript(m): 1:50pm On Jul 05, 2013
pikin na pikin o.
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Agrika: 1:53pm On Jul 05, 2013
Wow...so touching, am enriched

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Nobody: 1:53pm On Jul 05, 2013
Bobbystanley: An Ibo man like me is ready to do anything to have a male child..female children are not regarded as members of the family because they will marry elsewhere..
Who will inherit my Landed properties and wealth if I don't have a male child?
My enemies will eat the fruit of my labour?(Tufiakwa)
AHAMEFUNA

I believe you're kidding.

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Bobbystanley(m): 1:59pm On Jul 05, 2013
Lilimax: Old school mentality ...no longer acceptable in this 21st century.
My Dear forget old school and face reality..even if u have 20 female children without a male child,bros u never start.

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by dasparrow: 2:00pm On Jul 05, 2013
Bobbystanley: An Ibo man like me is ready to do anything to have a male child..female children are not regarded as members of the family because they will marry elsewhere..
Who will inherit my Landed properties and wealth if I don't have a male child?
My enemies will eat the fruit of my labour?(Tufiakwa)
AHAMEFUNA

@Bolded

Is that all you care about? So many Nigerian males - quite a few who are Igbos by the way - are rottening away in far away jails in Asia and around the world due to drug trafficking. Now who will the parents of this convicted drug traffickers pass their properties to? What of those who gave birth and raised their male children overseas in Europe and USA and these children are now grown up and have no intentions of ever living in Africa, who will the parents pass on the property to? What of those who gave birth to male children but they died before their parents, who will the parents give their properties to? Your mindset has no room in this 21st century.

@Post

Nice thread!

3 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Nobody: 2:01pm On Jul 05, 2013
Masha Allah, tbaba. This is a great topic!
Also, Muslims should be aware that it is Sunnah to slaughter two sheep for the naming ceremony of a male child but only one sheep should be slaughtered after a female is born.

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that the Prophet had said:”One should offer two identical sheep for a boy and one sheep – for a girl” (the holy ahadith from Ahmad and at-Tirmizhi)
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by babslamin: 2:03pm On Jul 05, 2013
Masha Allah for your post. In islam the most important thing about relationship is to have the righteous spouse and children. Boy or girl are all blessings from Allah. After every prayer i use to recite this prayer to Allah "Our lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." (Qur'an 25:74)...

2 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Temismith(f): 2:04pm On Jul 05, 2013
Both i tell u! U never can tell wat d future hold for any of dem! So it will be beter if u dont prioritise one over d other.
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by deols(f): 2:10pm On Jul 05, 2013
Bobbystanley: An Ibo man like me is ready to do anything to have a male child..female children are not regarded as members of the family because they will marry elsewhere..
Who will inherit my Landed properties and wealth if I don't have a male child?
My enemies will eat the fruit of my labour?(Tufiakwa)
AHAMEFUNA

Nothing stops your daughters from keeping your name.

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by deols(f): 2:12pm On Jul 05, 2013
alutacontinua: grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
You need to see the sentence in red up there in the posting arena. WTH



Back to the issue on ground, I didn't read all of that but child is child. There's nothing like better. Isn't it discrimination to say one is better than the other Last I checked, I think Allah still condemns discrimination, correct me if I'm wrong.

all you needed was to read the thread before posting your comments. The idea of the thread is to disallow discrimination against female children.
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by cuteshade(f): 2:12pm On Jul 05, 2013
Whether male or female, I only pray for good children the ones I would be proud of.
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by deols(f): 2:15pm On Jul 05, 2013
dasparrow:

@Bolded

Is that all you care about? So many Nigerian males - quite a few who are Igbos by the way - are rottening away in far away jails in Asia and around the world due to drug trafficking. Now who will the parents of this convicted drug traffickers pass their properties to? What of those who gave birth and raised their male children overseas in Europe and USA and these children are now grown up and have no intentions of ever living in Africa, who will the parents pass on the property to? What of those who gave birth to male children but they died before their parents, who will the parents give their properties to? Your mindset has no room in this 21st century.

@Post

Nice thread!

It doesnt have a place even in a 1400 years ago Islam.

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by Nobody: 2:15pm On Jul 05, 2013
deols:

all you needed was to read the thread before posting your comments. The idea of the thread is to disallow discrimination against female children.

OKAY! smiley
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by tpia5: 2:18pm On Jul 05, 2013
No one is saying its wrong to want or prefer male children, but i think its tempting fate to consider female kids as evil.

Just my opinion.

If God blesses you with a female child, are you saying he's mistaken for doing so?

Besides, the man determines a baby's gender.

2 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by deols(f): 2:40pm On Jul 05, 2013
@tbaba1234, I dont think there is anything wrong with asking specifically for a male or female child. Allah's will will prevail anyway but He is also the one who asks us to ask for whatever

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by hayubee(m): 2:44pm On Jul 05, 2013
Jazakallahu karyrih fidunnyaa wal ahkira (amin) @ op
Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by PENMIGHT(m): 3:00pm On Jul 05, 2013
Musa( peace on him) was with khidri when the latter slaughtered a boy! Why wasn't the boy spared to continue the lineage of his parents.

Also khidri saw a fence and bent down to mend the falling wall! Was his unsolicited help not towards the girl orphans who had a future to protect?

The Prophet had male and female children,which one inherited him save Fatima(R.A). Which of his children is as popular has Fatima(R.A).

How many of us know that Abu Bakr(R.A) had other children besides Aisha(R.A).A quick text-pls name the brothers of Aisha(R.A).

Apart from Abu Hurairah(R.A) who dedicated his life entirely to leaving in the mosque,who else narrated most hadith save Aisha(R.A).

The first to believe was a woman.
The first to divide her property with the prophet was a woman.
When the Meccans victimised the prophet,it was a woman that gave him shelter.

The first martyr in Islam was a woman.

Suraltul An-Nisa - YES
Suratul Rijal- NO

The list is endless....
Rabbana Hablana min azwajna wa dhuriyatina qurat'a ayuna, wajaalna lil mutaqina imaama.

3 Likes

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by PENMIGHT(m): 3:00pm On Jul 05, 2013
Musa( peace on him) was with khidri when the latter slaughtered a boy! Why wasn't the boy spared to continue the lineage of his parents.

Also khidri saw a fence and bent down to mend the falling wall! Was his unsolicited help not towards the girl orphans who had a future to protect?

The Prophet had male and female children,which one inherited him save Fatima(R.A). Which of his children is as popular has Fatima(R.A).

How many of us know that Abu Bakr(R.A) had other children besides Aisha(R.A).A quick text-pls name the brothers of Aisha(R.A).

Apart from Abu Hurairah(R.A) who dedicated his life entirely to leaving in the mosque,who else narrated most hadith save Aisha(R.A).

The first to believe was a woman.
The first to divide her property with the prophet was a woman.
When the Meccans victimised the prophet,it was a woman that gave him shelter.

The first martyr in Islam was a woman.

Suraltul An-Nisa - YES
Suratul Ar -Rijal- NO

The list is endless....
Rabbana Hablana min azwajna wa dhuriyatina qurat'a ayuna, wajaalna lil mutaqina imaama.

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by tbaba1234: 3:01pm On Jul 05, 2013
deols: @tbaba1234, I dont think there is anything wrong with asking specifically for a male or female child. Allah's will will prevail anyway but He is also the one who asks us to ask for whatever

Whenever there is a prayer for a child in the Quran , it is never specific. It is better to pray for a righteous child than to pray for the sex of a child. We are taught how to make duas in the Quran.

The other problem with this, is that once praying for a particular sex, we are not asking for what is the best for us and we lose sight of the blessing the other child. A man who raises 3 girls right, is going to jannah even if he had no boy.

Best thing, pray for the gift of both but do not despair if you are given just one sex.

1 Like

Re: Boy Or Girl Child, Which Is Better? - An Islamic Perspective by deols(f): 3:05pm On Jul 05, 2013
sino: Jazakumullahu khayran bro, i was having serious issues thinking of my future children in sha Allah, how to raise them up Islamically and i tell you, female children gave me the creeps....

Alhamdulilah, they are gifts from Allah, and nothing good comes easy.

Did you say paradise? Nna make i start to they call myself Abu-l- Banaat cool

Like tpia asked, why should the female give you creeps?

Does it stem from the thought that the male child is easier to train because

*even if he dresses indecently with tight fitted trousers or saggy baggy ones sweeping the floor, it doesnt matter as much as a girl not wearing hijab. People don't see what the boy does or don't care or think it doesnt matter.

*and even if he goes on having illicit sexual reactions, it doesnt matter either as his virginity is never to be proven at any point in time.

*and if pregnancy does come into the question, it doesn't tell on him unlike the girl, who'd have to take the 9 months course or have her life disturbed.

etc

Well, these kinds of thoughts don't help either and are a disservice to the male folks. It makes parents focus so much on the female child, as she is d one who must not break thereby neglecting the male ones.


Every of life teachings is important for the male and female children and training neither should be creepier.

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