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Yung Joke. - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Best Joke Of The Year......russians Drugg 100 / Joke Of The Day...happy Sunday / Joke Section>>night Vigil Service (2) (3) (4)

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Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 10:59am On Jul 06, 2013
Hi my name is Mr Akpos I work
for Central Bank Nigeria and I just
got my a small loan of
N200.000 and my
babe just called that she needed to go to
shopping which may
cost her N200.000. I have given her
the money because
I truly love her. Now I am starving;
I wan die.

WHAT AM I
1. Lover Boy
2. First Class Mumu
3. MTN Be Your Best Network
4. A Learner
5. Fool
6. Sellfish
7. Wise
8. __________?
Re: Yung Joke. by englishmart(m): 3:59pm On Jul 06, 2013
Ur name no even dey there.. U be idiot wey pass idiot wey dey teach idiots how to be greater idiots
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 1:01pm On Jul 09, 2013
Akpos Question!!!

80% WILL FAIL THIS..

Q: Akpos’s father has 5 daughters –
Nana
Nene
Nini
Nono.
What is the
Fifth daughters name?

Comment if u are brilliant
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 1:12pm On Jul 09, 2013
Akpos is madly in luv ooo,,,

Akpos thought that LOL means 'LOTS OF
LOVE' So he sent an SMS to his girlfriend
saying 'Dear, i'm sorry about the death of
your sister LOL

Give him a name plizz.
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 1:16pm On Jul 09, 2013
Akpos a houseboy ,who's usually alone at home,committs lots of atrocities! He wuld go 2d bar
&steal his oga's drink &fill it back up wit water. Soon d oga noticed &decided 2set a trap 4him.
He bot a drink dat changes colour wen u add water 2it(just like dettol). So one day,as usual,Akpos
steals d drink,added water,&d drink changed color. He knew he was bursted! Wen d oga returned,
Akpos was in d kitchen. "Akpos",d oga called,"Yes oga". "Who stole d drink in dis bottle?" No
response. D boss storms off 2d kitchen &asked,"Y is it dat u ansad wen i called ur name,bt kept mute
wen i asked u a question?" Akpos replies,"Oga,wen u de inside dis kitchen there are certain
questions u cant ansa". To prove himself right,he asks his oga to remain in d kitchen while he
goes out &asks a question. Akpos den calls out,"Oga". "Yes Akpos". "Who de enter d maid room wen
madam no de?" No response. D Oga came out of d kitchen. "Akpos u're right o,i didnt hear a word
in d kitchen". D wife said its not true, and so she goes in as well. "Madam". "Yes Akpos". "Who be
Junior real papa, na me abi na oga?". No response. When she came out she said to her husband,
"Honey dat kitchen needs to be fumigated,i couldnt hear a tin in it!"

1 Like

Re: Yung Joke. by Natureboyfk(m): 1:21pm On Jul 09, 2013
Nsns
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 1:26pm On Jul 09, 2013
Only the smart will get this....
what time is it??
. . . . . . . . . . 12. . . . . . . . ..
. . . . . .. 11. .↑. . .1. . . . . ..
. . . .10. . . . .|.. . . . .2. . . ..
. . .9. . . . . .. °→→ ....3. . ...
. . . ..8. . . . . . . . . . . .4. . . . .
. . . . . . .7. . . 6 . . .5. . . . . . .

a)3:00
b)12:15
c)3:15
d)12:00

answer in 5sec
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 8:05pm On Jul 12, 2013
R.I.P. to my Ex.. The funeral will be held at Never Again Baptist Church, located across from The Lies You Told Cemetery, On TFY Ave!

Comment: What's the meaning of TFY?
Re: Yung Joke. by taebtraeh(f): 9:28pm On Jul 12, 2013
Akpos Question!!!

80% WILL FAIL THIS..

Q: Akpos’s father has 5 daughters –
Nana
Nene
Nini
Nono.
What is the
Fifth daughters name
ANSA IS.....AKPOS
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 7:55pm On Jul 13, 2013
Imagine a 300L undergraduate with a CGPA so low that it can't even flash MTN to MTN, yet demanding for Brazilian hair from yung dipsey...
Thunder Fire u dere!!!
Re: Yung Joke. by satos: 12:50pm On Jul 15, 2013
COMFIRM MUGU
yungdipsey: Imagine a 300L undergraduate with a CGPA so low that it can't even flash MTN to MTN, yet demanding for Brazilian hair from yung dipsey...
Thunder Fire u dere!!!
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 1:50pm On Jul 16, 2013
I was in a restaurant with my gf when I got down on 1 knee. she cried.I cant believe this is happening Shut up,I said,My wife just walked in
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 4:57pm On Jul 17, 2013
TEACHER : Akpors, recite A-Z and what each
alphabet stands for..
AKPORS :
A for-Adobe
B for-bluetooth
C for-chat
D for-download
E for-email
F for-facebook
G for-google
H for-hotmail
I for-iphone
J for-Java
K for-kingston
L for-laptop
M for-messenger
N for-NOKIA
O for-outlook
P for-print
Q for-QuickTime
R for-RAM
S for-Server
T for-Touch Screen
U for-U S B
V for-Version
W for-wifi1
X for-xbox360
Y for-YouTube
Please help Akpors
with `Z’.
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 5:04pm On Jul 17, 2013
Little Akpos farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can’t stop laughing.

The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing.

He says, “Little Akpos what are you doing sitting here laughing ?”

Little Akpos says, “I farted in class and the teacher threw me out.”

The principal says, “Well then, why are you laughing ?”

Little Akpos says, “Because the dumb idiots are sitting in the classroom smelling my fart while they put me outside in this beautiful, clean air.”
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 8:23pm On Jul 20, 2013
DAD: Akpos, if Mr John asks
after me, tell him I'm not
around. How will you tell him
when he comes, cos i know
you are funny?
AKPOS: When he comes, I will say
my daddy
said I should tell
you he is not around.
DAD: Idiot! Just tell him, he is
not around. Ok!?
AKPOS: Yes daddy.
[When Mr John arrived...]
MR JOHN: Akpos, where
is ur daddy?
AKPOS: He is not around.
MR JOHN: When is he coming
back?
AKPOS: Wait let me go and ask him
he didn't
tell me.
(Rushed into the room,
shouting, daddy, daddy, when are
u coming
back?)
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 8:28pm On Jul 20, 2013
Your Mother-In-Law came from
the village for a visit and after
staying for 2 days.. You left her @
home and left for work,when you
return home, You discovered she
has given all your children 'long Tribal Marks'.
Sincerely, what will you do?
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 11:12am On Aug 04, 2013
She holds it with her hand and tries to put it into the hole but it will not penetrate.
Then she licks it with her tongue to make it wet and stand firm.
She tries to put it in again and this time it enters smoothly ....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's not what you think, she's just trying to fix a thread into a needle,
May God forgive your mind, whatever u are thinking always be positive

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Yung Joke. by Watermelon(m): 7:39am On Aug 06, 2013
yungdipsey: Akpos Question!!!

80% WILL FAIL THIS..

Q: Akpos’s father has 5 daughters –
Nana
Nene
Nini
Nono.
What is the
Fifth daughters name?


Comment if u are brilliant
NUNU
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 12:28pm On Aug 20, 2013
Beyonce is using Iphone 4 but worth 40million dollars,
Amber Rose dont use brazillian hair but woth 10million dollars,
Kim Kardashian and Nicki Minaj uses touch2 but they both worth 7million dollars. BUT...........................
WELCOME TO NIGERIA WHERE JUST 1 GAL have samsung galaxy S4, iphone5, Ipad, Apple laptop, brazillian/Indian hairs, room full of clothes, shoes, bags etc, but she only got 3500 Naira in her purse or account.
Most of them dont even have bank account, not to talk of their own room. Yet they claim in town, facebook, twitter etc they are big gals...Lmao, most of this gals who claim they are big gals and want to live celebrity life too are from poor homes, they dont want to be sober like their mothers. Last of all, they dont know how to dress, they dress lyk skul children, make ups alone lyk their drawing board. Most annoying, u will see a pot belly gal, wearing leggings, pull it to cover dat pot belly stomach then put on a small top !!! Rubbish ...gosh!

MY SISTER DO U KNOW WAT U LUK LYK
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 12:31pm On Aug 20, 2013
JUDGING A BOOK BY ITS' COVER

(Akpors' ordeal)

You won't believe what happened to me yesterday night.

I was coming back from somewhere around 9 pm when I saw this beautiful damsel approaching me.

She has the the beautiful face of Beyonce, the sumptuous lips of Angelina Jolie, the backside like that of Kim Kardashian, the curves were like that of Mercy Johnson.

She got the height like that of Angela Okorie, her eyes were as beautiful as that of Ini Edo.

She got the forehead of Rihanna, with bumper front package like that of Cossy Orjiakor.

She was looking innocent like Genevieve Nnaji.

I knew I had to talk to her, it will be the greatest mistake if I allow her pass without talking.

So I said;

"Hi"

She didn't reply but just smiled.

So I continued;

"My name is Akpors, I will love to talk to you but am in a hurry right now, pls can I get your contact so that I can call you for us to meet?"

She smiled again and said;

"Ok, ESERO HATE ESERO, TIRI TIRI HATE, SEFUN TWO TIRI, NOI NOI.. NA MY HENTIHEN LINE BE DAT. YOU WANT MY SAIN LINE?"

I fainted!!
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 3:29am On Aug 21, 2013
a HUSBAND told his WIFE,"women are just DONKEYS.
All women are DONKEYS!"
The next day as they were travelling along the highway, a
donkey crosses right in front of their car.
The WIFE tells her HUSBAND,"Sweetheart, be careful.
Your mom is crossing the road."
That's how the trouble started.
Abeg, who is at fault?
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 3:35am On Aug 21, 2013
Akpos who is dying in the hospital is surrounded by his two sons, daughter, his wife and nurse. Says to
his eldest son:
To you, Peter, I leave the Airport houses.
To you, my dear daughter, I leave the apartment blocks in East Legon
To you, Charlie, being my youngest son with a large future, I leave the City Center offices.
And you, my dear wife, the three residential building towers at Tetteh Quarshie
The nurse, impressed, tells his wife:
Madam, your husband is very rich. He has so many properties! You all are so lucky!!
And the wife retorts: Rich Lucky Our whole family works for the cleaning company. Those are his
Job schedules for cleaning!
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 1:26pm On Oct 16, 2013
*Nepa takes light* *no fuel in d gen*
My enemies @ work, Oga mosquito u know we r friends, sorry for killing your family members before, I owe u a cup of blood tomorrow but please don't pierce my skin...
Cos its alcoholic u might get drunk and start misbehaving... Please oooh
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 1:34pm On Oct 16, 2013
If you can say these 4 words fast without getting tongue tied, you're a genius:
1: Eye
2: Yam
3: Stew
4: Peed
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 1:39pm On Oct 16, 2013
A poor boy was in love
with a rich man's
daughter….One day the
boy proposed to her and
the girl said…”Hey! Listen,
your monthly
salary is my daily hand
expenses..How can I be
involved with you..?
How could you have
thought of that?
I can never love you, so
forget about me and get
engaged to someone else at
your level”
But somehow the boy
could not forget her so
easily…..Some time 10
years later they stumbled
into each other in a
shopping mall.
The lady again
said….,”Hey.. ! You! How
are you? Now I’m married
and do you know how
much my husband’s salary
is..? $15,700 per month!
Can you beat that? And he
is also very smart”
The guy’s eyes got wet
with tears on hearing those
words from the same
lady….
A few seconds later, her
husband came around but
before the lady could say a
word her husband seeing
the guy, said……
“Sir you’re here and you've
met my wife..” Then he
said to his wife,”This is my
boss, I’m also one of those
working on his $100 million
project!
And do you know a fact
my dear?
My boss loved a lady but
he couldn’t win her
heart….That’s why he has
remained unmarried since.
How lucky would that lady
have been, if she had
married this my boss now?
These days, who would
love someone that much?"
He said all these to his wife.
The lady looked in total
shock but couldn’t utter a
word….
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 8:44pm On Nov 01, 2013
DEAr JANUARY,_, How is FEBRUARY?
Kindly infOrm MARCH,_, that APRIL,_,
Said MAY,_, will come Before JUNE,_, i
heard that July,_, is gEtting Married in
AUGUST,_,, how about SEPTEMBER,_, &
hEr children? Please send my regards to
OCTOBER,_, & Don't fOrgEt to nOtify
NOVEMBER,_, that All Our friends,
families, classmates, business associates
& colleagues reading this post will end
December in Greater AnD GreatEr JOY &
HAPPINESS, CELEBRATIONS ,
BREAKTHROUGH &
ACCIDENT FREE IN
THE MIGHTY NAME OF OUR CREATOR.
type AmEn to Claim It nOw B4 u GOTO
BED
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 8:00pm On May 26, 2015
#‎Don‬'t just Wake up ,Wake up 2 realisation that ur life must have a positive theme to it!. Don't live your life being selfish.
Re: Yung Joke. by kenibest: 11:03pm On May 26, 2015
the fifth daughters name is "Nunu"
Re: Yung Joke. by aboyaji(m): 12:14pm On May 27, 2015
The fifth daughter's name is akpors
Re: Yung Joke. by yungdipsey(m): 9:19am On Aug 13, 2015
They say that you can count your true friends on 1 hand - but not the candles on your birthday cake! ‪#‎1Happybirthday‬ Yung dipsey

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