This is happening to me now, as our culture permits, intending partners with a plan of settling down do check from religion elder to know there compartiblitiy, mine is negative.

Seriously confused, did is d worst moment of my life, can't believe am in this position.

Was told DAT 1c negative, nothing can be done about it.

Anybody in the situation before should please share there experience with me because am so restless now.
God help me

Honestly, for the life of me, I cannot make heads or tails of your post.

Why aren't you compatible? On medical grounds? Or on religious grounds because your pastor said so?

If the former, give more specific details. If the latter's the case, then all I can tell you is to try using the brain you were born with (assuming you've still got it and know how to use it).

Am a Muslim, after consulting in 3 different places, we re told DAT our living togeda Will be so difficult, with little or no progress.
What baffles me is that we have being inseperatable for 7yrs, now having dis negative result is beyond me, as we Yorubas take such religious consultation so serious bfo marriage.

Anybody with such experience should pls share it

Seriously, am not myself @ d moment.

^^ Why would your living together be 'so difficult with little progress'?

What does that mean?

Honestly I don't really understand myself, as d 3 Alfas says similar things. Comparing our relationship with wind and fire, that the 2 cant stay togeda.

Hmmmm.

Anybody with such experience pls

fame12k: Honestly I don't really understand myself, as d 3 Alfas says similar things. Comparing our relationship with wind and fire, that the 2 cant stay togeda.

Hmmmm.

Are you for real??

fame12k: Honestly I don't really understand myself, as d 3 Alfas says similar things. Comparing our relationship with wind and fire, that the 2 cant stay togeda.

Hmmmm.

Do these alfas have happy marriages themselves? Are they rich? Do they look happy? Do you look like people you want to be like? If not, then why will you believe them? If they could help anyone I believe they will start with themselves!

He is for real oh Efe. I have heard about that several times, sometimes its a pastor, sometimes its an alfa, they go and consult even after they are happy with their partner, they still go and "ask" and the pastors and alfas have their own version.
Better believe that people will trade their God given freedom for what a pastor or alfa says.
They must always be someone to blame na if we make decisions my people prefer to give that position to an alfa or pastor.
Poster na you sabi, God gave you freedom and direct access to him yet you choose to dash that freedom of choice to an alfa na you sabi.
Goodluck with the one they "select" for you

debrief08: He is for real oh Efe. I have heard about that several times, sometimes its a pastor, sometimes its an alfa, they go and consult even after they are happy with their partner, they still go and "ask" and the pastors and alfas have their own version.
Better believe that people will trade their God given freedom for what a pastor or alfa says.
They must always be someone to blame na if we make decisions my people prefer to give that position to an alfa or pastor.
Poster na you sabi, God gave you freedom and direct access to him yet you choose to dash that freedom of choice to an alfa na you sabi.
Goodluck with the one they "select" for you

Can you imagine?

And he goes as far as mentioning wind and fire. Wetin wind and fire get to do with the decision to marry his spouse??

Smh here!

Better believe it.
We are not capable of making ANY decisions without "spiritual" consultations.
Somebody has to be responsible if it goes wrong.
What religion has done to do my people.
Wonder how many "consultations" Bill Gates made to make so much money and then who he consulted to decide to give most of it to help the 3rd world

Why would u wait for an Alfa to tell u who to marry. use your brain,lets even imagine that the alfas are right, is it not better marrying and knowing the risk than marrying someone else u don't love and being miserable. TWO: for your info, wind doesn't always quench fire at times it actually makes fire stronger!

debrief08: He is for real oh Efe. I have heard about that several times, sometimes its a pastor, sometimes its an alfa, they go and consult even after they are happy with their partner, they still go and "ask" and the pastors and alfas have their own version.
Better believe that people will trade their God given freedom for what a pastor or alfa says.
They must always be someone to blame na if we make decisions my people prefer to give that position to an alfa or pastor.
Poster na you sabi, God gave you freedom and direct access to him yet you choose to dash that freedom of choice to an alfa na you sabi.
Goodluck with the one they "select" for you

They like to transfer responsibility. Besides when the relationsip got to 6 months why didn't they consult alfa why wait till the dying moment

debrief08: Better believe it.
We are not capable of making ANY decisions without "spiritual" consultations.
Somebody has to be responsible if it goes wrong.
What religion has done to do my people.
Wonder how many "consultations" Bill Gates made to make so much money and then who he consulted to decide to give most of it to help the 3rd world

Then such a person is in no position whatsoever to get married!

Just imagine - so if his religious leader 'tells' him that his spouse is a wicked, wicked woman from the underworld, has a 'spiritual husband' there as she's mami-water, that's why his businesses fail (ignoring the fact that he had no viable business / contingency plans to start with)...and the only way out of the situation is to kill do away with her and their kids, he'll do it now, abi?

@OP: I think you're a very dangerous man and your 'fiancee' had better take to her heels and dump you fast. You're unstable and capable of doing anything in your present state of mind...

fame12k: Am a Muslim, after consulting in 3 different places, we re told DAT our living togeda Will be so difficult, with little or no progress.
What baffles me is that we have being inseperatable for 7yrs, now having dis negative result is beyond me, as we Yorubas take such religious consultation so serious bfo marriage.

Anybody with such experience should pls share it

Seriously, am not myself @ d moment.

I'm sorry, my post is going to sound a bit religious. Please, excuse me everyone

OP, I don't know if you know, but a conscious muslim should not do that in the first place. It is Shirk (associating partners with God). U have placed men (the Alfas) on the same level with your God for asking for what will happen in the future, which no one knows except God himself. I'm not chastising or judging you here. I'm simply telling you you did wrong. I'll send you a PM for further explanation, if you dont mind.

Now, to the topic of discussion, i understand how you feel right now. It isnt really easy not to believe a 'story' corroborated by three different people who do not know each other. But, your Alfas are not God. Surely, if you guys dated for seven years,(another topic entirely o) you should know each other well enough to be sure if you
1) can live with her imperfections
2) 'predict' her mood and understand her black days
3) are totally comfortable with the real 'her' without wanting too much compromise from her side.
If all these are in place, all you need is God's direction and your parents' approval, especially hers.

My opinion, seek God's direct counsel. Pray to Him to direct your ways (Try the Islam section for more info on Istikhara). If she's the one for you, it will surely happen, no matter what.

And take your mind off the Alfas' predictions. They are not God and you do not need an intermediary to talk to God! An Alfa once told my mum not to allow me marry my husband. Said he's goin to start beating me and we will not have kids. Another said he'll womanize. She heard and told me all sorts! I simply prayed and put my feet down. Alhamdulillah, we are doing fine, he has never raised his hands against me and will not, in shaa Allah. And to cap it all, we got preggy the same month we had our nikkah. Funny, eh?

Remember the song 'Que sera sera'? The future is not ours to see! It's all in God's hands.

And IF you choose to go ahead and marry her, i must tell you this. There will be good days and BAD days WILL come. It is bound to happen in every marriage. Couples argue evrytime. But it wont help and it will be worse if you start thinking 'ah, and i was warned not to marry this woman o'. Know that there is no human who will not be tested. It could be with anything ranging from riches to kids. That does not mean 'the Alfas were right'. It is a phase in almost every marriage and it will pass.

My dear sister in islam I don't know why u av to go to one alfa for guardiance in d first place Allah (sww)said he is closer to us dan d vein on our neck,if u want guardiance seek him yourself,do istikhara with open mind n use ur head.let me share a story with u,my elder sister got married to her hubby wen it was soo obvious dt dis man is all wrong for her,we all advice her not to but she stood firm claimin dt d alfas told her dt d man is her ordained husband,she eventually got married to him against our advice,while married to him she saw hell d man usually beat like dere is no tomorrow even when she was haevilly pregnant, after four years into d marriage d man died leavin two children behind.@op pls use ur haed.

chaircover: Efe if you dont mind flying Arik economy class, I will buy you a naija ticket . . . you really need to have some naija flavour in your indomie

Ah, but I was there with the entire gang family just last Christmas!

Pls, CC, don't make me homesick! The best part of the journey was from Lagos to Warri via Arik. Gosh the sky was soo blue...the tree tops so green...the sun so golden yellow...the peace and quiet at the Warri airport on arrival...the friendliness and yabbing of waffi folks...my kids all going ohhh and ahhh and this and that...

Anyway, back to the issue on hand seeing as I'm digressing (your fault)

chaircover: Yes . . everything is spiritual. You dash your foot against a stone . . it is an attack from the enemies. You dont travel before seeking spiritual permission to see "if the road is good"

To please my mother, I went to see her pastors when my husband and I were about to get married. One said no and the other said yes . . same church. I didnt tell my mum the negative answer To Gpd be the glory the rest is history. That is how someone would have ruined my life. To now add insult to injury, my mother no longer attends that church.

Choi!! You mum sounds like mine!

chaircover: @poster, this is a difficult one because even if you choose to go ahead with this lady, if any small thing happens you will say that you have already been warned and its almost as if you are expecting things to go wrong. If she comes back late from work, you will automatically think "and they warned me o!" . . . . so basically it depends on how much you love her and how sure you are of your love for each other, how strong your resolve is and how strong your own spiritual conviction is. I made up my mind a long time ago that I am going to be responsible for my happiness and with my own direct phone line to Gpd. I dont go through people.

The lady is better off without him.

The guy's too superstitious. If any misfortune befalls him, the lady go hear am hot.

The fiancee probably shares the same belief.

debrief08: The fiancee probably shares the same belief.

Lol! Now that would be interesting...

fame12k: Am a Muslim, after consulting in 3 different places, we re told DAT our living togeda Will be so difficult, with little or no progress.
What baffles me is that we have being inseperatable for 7yrs, now having dis negative result is beyond me, as we Yorubas take such religious consultation so serious bfo marriage.

Anybody with such experience should pls share it

Seriously, am not myself @ d moment.

You are a muslim but everything about your story is unislamic.

Maybe, your islamic consciousness is not that great and it is not your fault.

I. Contacting anyone to tell you, your future is not allowed and is considered a major sin.

Only Allah knows your future.

So sister, do not worry about what anybody says , pray for guidance from Allah and He will guide you.

ii. Dating a person for as long as 7 years? Do you know the islamic stance on pre marital relationships?

Well, it is a good thing, you are getting married.


Please do not worry your head about such superstitious things, focus on Allah and learn a bit more about Islam.

You can ask for advice from muslim sisters on this thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/1347088/muslim-sisters-circle

Thank u all for your advice, really appreciate it.

Am d guy in d shoe, am not in line with d prophesy, but my girl is worried about it, dats where d issue is.

Thanks again

I know them they are all fake.

If you want to tst them go back to the alfa and give him names of 3 people you know its impossible to marry e.g the name of your grandmother, the name of a dead woman, the name of a 50yr old married woman, the name of a boy that can also be used for a girl(Unisex name).

Ask him to help you select out of the 4 ladies who to marry, Lets see if his crystal all would detect that they are all fake.

My cousins girl friend also said she went to a CAC pastor who told her she cant marry my cousin, I told her to go to him and give him 4 names

1. James Fadele (Head of Redeemed in North America- Happily married man with children in their 20's)
2. Tosin The name of her friend a girl but can be used for a boy
3. Her fathers name
4. Her grandfathers name

Could you believe that the Pastor chose one of these names?

When she told me we all laughed hysterically, Her eyes now opened.

Another case the Pastor told a girl she cant marry the guy.

The guy(very rich) now went to the pastor anonymously(In his jeep) and narrated that someone prayed and said something he wanted was not possible.

He gave the Pastor some money and the Pastor replied that whoever said that what he wanted wasnt possible is fake and he would pray to reverse it.

The guy now told the Pastor that it was you who said it wasnt possible to marry his fiancee.

The pastor changed voice that "Since I am the one who said its impossible, He would also go and pray to make it possible, Infact its now possible!!!

^^^

Money makes the world go round.

@Topic: No comment.

dayokanu: I know them they are all fake.

If you want to tst them go back to the alfa and give him names of 3 people you know its impossible to marry e.g the name of your grandmother, the name of a dead woman, the name of a 50yr old married woman, the name of a boy that can also be used for a girl(Unisex name).

Ask him to help you select out of the 4 ladies who to marry, Lets see if his crystal all would detect that they are all fake.

My cousins girl friend also said she went to a CAC pastor who told her she cant marry my cousin, I told her to go to him and give him 4 names

1. James Fadele (Head of Redeemed in North America- Happily married man with children in their 20's)
2. Tosin The name of her friend a girl but can be used for a boy
3. Her fathers name
4. Her grandfathers name

Could you believe that the Pastor chose one of these names?

When she told me we all laughed hysterically, Her eyes now opened.

Hahahahahahahahaha. . . Dayo, you won't kill me oooo! I just can't stop laughing.

dayokanu: I know them they are all fake.

If you want to tst them go back to the alfa and give him names of 3 people you know its impossible to marry e.g the name of your grandmother, the name of a dead woman, the name of a 50yr old married woman, the name of a boy that can also be used for a girl(Unisex name).

Ask him to help you select out of the 4 ladies who to marry, Lets see if his crystal all would detect that they are all fake.

My cousins girl friend also said she went to a CAC pastor who told her she cant marry my cousin, I told her to go to him and give him 4 names

1. James Fadele (Head of Redeemed in North America- Happily married man with children in their 20's)
2. Tosin The name of her friend a girl but can be used for a boy
3. Her fathers name
4. Her grandfathers name

Could you believe that the Pastor chose one of these names?

When she told me we all laughed hysterically, Her eyes now opened.

Oya finish the story na!

Which name did the pastor select for her to marry?

This is between you, your partner and your God

Its very obvious that your alfas do not understand basic science.


Let me help their ignorance, for effective burning fire, it needs oxygen in the form of wind. Although I do not buy into their vision but what they claimed they saw is actually in your support.


Her wind will fuel the fire of love between you two. Go in peace and marry your girl.

Don't forget to invite the alfas to the Nikkah.

Marriage is a very sensitive ish... Thread carefully...

Sorry @op, which planet are u actually talking from?dis is d problem, what gives u dat assurance dat u dont have d same access to God like ur alfa or imam? , i will say dis, '' if u can pray, den u are a prophet over ur life'' in writing d story of ur life, don't allow anybody hold d pen for u!!!

I don't know why people like compounding their problems or go creating one where there's none..Visiting spiritual homes usually give rise to this.